BSNYC Friday Business Networking Seminar!

("But, can it core a apple?")

Firstly, I'm pleased to announce that last night's BRA at the Rapha Cycle Club was a success, inasmuch as nobody assaulted me or, at least to my knowledge, sabotaged the espresso machine. I failed to take any photographs of the evening since I was too preoccupied with administering my hastily-prepared PowerPoint presentation, but here's a picture from the Rapha Cycle Club's Twitter which captures me in mid-"douche-clamation point:"

Alas, words and even photographs are insufficient to convey the intoxicating sensation of standing amid all those overpriced jerseys and making a complete douche of oneself. Thanks to the Rapha Cycle Club for having me, and thanks to all who came for indulging me.

Speaking of capturing things in photos, a number of people have informed me that New Yorker music critic Sasha Frere-Jones has been featured in the New York Times for the boring pictures he takes with his minimalist-approved iPhone:

Some people have role models in life, but I find it much more inspiring and motivating to focus on people who deeply annoy me, for it is only by confronting and exploring that which we dislike that we can truly learn who we really are. For this reason, I was glad to learn that, beyond writing irritating music reviews, my favorite anti-role model Frere-Jones works in other media as well. I was also not surprised to learn that Frere-Jones's photography is of the "Ooh, isn't that blighted building or rust stain interesting?" variety, nor was I disappointed (by which I mean I was tremendously disappointed). By the way, apparently Frere-Jones doesn't take photographs so much as he frames things that he sees:

I'm not sure what the difference is, but then again I didn't go to Bard College and tend to betray my lack of education by simply calling things what they are. For example, I've foolishly been telling people I "wrote a book," when I should really be telling them I don't so much write books as I "put covers around words.")

I wonder how many of Frere-Jones's Twitter followers are also interested in him for the sole reason that they are bothered by his work:

As far as the claim that his "tweets" rise to the level of poetry, I'll defer to the Bard graduates out there on that one:

"We Need More Rap Box Sets" is sure to become the "Leaves of Grass" of the 21st century.

Having sufficiently annoyed myself, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right, you'll know, and if you're wrong you'll see a commercial.

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and remember: it's not so much a weekend as it is a couple of days framed by a pair of work weeks.

--BSNYC/RTMS

1) How many purple tank tops does "minimalist" Everett Bogue own?

--Zero

--One

--Two

--Fifty-Seven

2) The man pictured above purchased this bicycle at a yard sale for $5. To which professional racer did the bike formerly belong?

--Cadel Evans

--Julien Absalon

--Levi Leipheimer

--Floyd Landis

3) What is Mario Cipollini thinking about?

--His new line of bicycles

--Riding shirtless

--"Lady parts"

--All of the above

(video via Stevil/AHTBM)

4) Vino is:

--Back

--Self-referential

--Bereft of eyebrows

--All of the above

(image via Lucho/Cyclinginquisition)

(Rodney "The No Hand King" Hines, the Lone Wolf of the East Coast, poses with his fleet of bicycles)

5) How does Rodney "The No Hand King" Hines train for his famously "epic" 100-mile no-handed wheelies?


--By riding a bicycle with no front wheel
--By riding a unicycle
--Hill repeats
--Pilates






6) Champagne is the new PBR.

--True
--False

(Your next what?)

7) Subdermal derailleurs are the new knuckle tattoo.

--True

--False

***Special Bicycle Messenger-Themed Bonus Question***

Bicycle messenger Malcolm Woodcock has 28 days to become a:

--Polo player

--Fox hunter

--Cricket player

--Living cliché