Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Street Justice: Crime and Punishment

As the competitors in the Tour de France professional bicycle racing race enjoy their rest day, the world of cycling was rocked by the news that Serbian rider Ivan Stevic was ejected from the Tour of Quinghai Lake professional bicycle racing race (which experts predict will eclipse the Tour de France in popularity by 2015) for "aggressive saluting:"

Unlike the infamous Mark "Man Missile" Cavendish salute in the Tour of Romandie, which was directed at the journalists who "know jack shit about cycling," Stevic's gesture was directed "at his team's mechanic who had previously joked about his form." Here is a picture of the mechanic, who took the ribbing with typical Southern good humor:

In addition to being thrown out of the race, Stevic received a fine of 1,000 Swiss Francs (or roughly 1,400 Tunisian Dinars), which is equal to what both of the participants in the infamous post-Stage 6 front wheel bludgeoning incident were charged. Incidentally, it's worth noting that this fight was broken up in part by former professional cyclist and Versus commentator Frankie Andreu:

Who charged boldly into the scrum despite having only a pair of flip-flops and a bib bearing the number "69" for protection:

In any case, I think the UCI is making far too much of these supposedly "obscene" victory salutes, and as long as the "pants yabbies" remain inside the bibs everything else is fair game.

Speaking of "fair game," among Floyd Landis's allegations was the claim that the Discovery Channel cycling team sold their team bikes for drug money, and while team director Johan Bruyneel of course denies the drug part he has confirmed that the team indeed sold bikes on eBay:

Intrigued that I might perhaps be able to score a good deal, I headed straight over to eBay, and while I was unable to find any bicycle offerings from any Bruyneel-"curated" teams I did find a brace of Garmin-Slipstream bikes. There was a road bike:

As well as a time trial bike:

Both had been raced in the 2009 season, and both were being offered by a seller named "jonathanrider1," along with numerous other pieces of Garmin-Slipstream kit. Since to my knowledge there were no riders named Jonathan on Garmin-Slipstream in 2009 (and since the bikes were different sizes), I dismissed the idea that this was a former team member making a private sale. This left only one Jonathan--team director Jonathan Vaughters. Clearly, I had stumbled upon his brazen scheme to sell team bicycles in order to either fund a doping program, or else to fund his insatiable wine, tweed, and ascot habit.

Of course, anybody who's either followed cycling for awhile or hunted for online bargains knows that lots of this pro cycling crap eventually winds up on eBay one way or another, and without a subpoena I have no way of knowing for sure who "Jonathanrider1" really is, so while I briefly considered taking my Garmin-Slipstream discovery to Floyd Landis I opted instead to help indirectly by making a sizeable donation to the Floyd Fairness Fund.


As Landis explained back in 2007, the Floyd Fairness Fund was "a fund set up first of all primarily to cover the legal fees in my case and hopefully in future to help other athletes who have to deal with this also." This raises the interesting question as to whether Landis will make Floyd Fairness Fund funds available to the numerous riders he has named in his confession. This would save them the indignity of having to sell their own bib shorts.

I didn't have long to ponder this, however, for I was soon distracted from the question of which pro cycling teams are selling stuff and why by video evidence of a pair of NYPD officers hitting a cyclist while driving the wrong way and then leaving the scene without reporting the incident:

Here is the actual video:



While some people outside of New York City might find this shocking, the only thing that surprises me about the actual incident is that the police even bothered to give the victim a tissue. Of course, the only reason the officers are actually being charged for this is because the incident was caught on video, and the unfortunate truth is that the only way we can expect the people whose salaries we pay to be accountable for their actions is to surrender any semblance of privacy--or at least keep video cameras strapped to our heads at all times. Failing that, it's helpful to keep in mind that, like any large company, in practice the police department exists not to serve its ostensible purpose but rather to sustain itself and protect its own interests. (Until you get to the federal level, of course, where law enforcement agents spend your money on important work, like investigating celebrity athletes.) To put it in "Zenlike Vroonenese," while Apple may be able to get away with selling you an overpriced phone that is susceptible to a "death grip," the police can get away with putting you in a death grip. The crucial difference is that Steve Jobs can't actually force you to buy the phone.

This is not to say we don't need law enforcement--we most certainly do, especially given the apparent increase in "ride-by gropings." A few weeks ago a groper was on the loose in Santa Monica, and now a reader informs me that another has struck repeatedly in the Portland area. Moreover, he seems to have a "thing" for women pushing strollers:

In Portland, this sort of thing is considered a serious crime, but in New York City it's just a Craigslist "missed connection."

Speaking of crime and surveillance cameras, a reader in Philadelphia has sent me this video of a bicycle theft in progress:



Unable to get the bicycle over the street sign, the thief actually enlists a neighbor, who not only helps him but also lends him a ladder, proving that Philadelphia is indeed the city of brotherly love.

Given the intrigue and thrills of urban cycling, it's no surprise that Hollywood is revisiting the fertile subject that produced the movie "Quicksilver" almost a quarter of a century ago (as well as the unfortunate sitcom "Double Rush" about a decade later.) This time, the movie is called "Premium Rush," and a number of readers have informed me it's finally in production and stars the guy from the sitcom "3rd Rock from the Sun:"


Here's the gripping plot:

The story follows a 20-something-year-old bike messenger who somehow gets involved in a chase across New York City. And we’re not just talking about a little chase but big budget William Friedkin-style action sequences. Apparently a dirty cop is “desperate to get his hands” on an envelope the messenger received from Columbia University.

Presumably we'll have to wait for the movie's release to find out what's in the envelope, but my guess is it contains photographs of the dirty cop running down a cyclist.

87 comments:

Astroluc said...

win

Desert Rider said...

podium?

ringcycles said...

podium!!

Anonymous said...

BANG

thegock said...

JUST MISD

ant1 said...

ant1st!

mattoidbunko said...

Blog Deep

Anonymous said...

MPLS10!

Astroluc said...

Of course, the only reason the officers are actually being charged for this is because the incident was caught on video

sad but probably true.

RYDE SAYF

unless, of course, there is a police car driving the wrong way while running a red... :/

Anonymous said...

yep

Anonymous said...

Protecting my top ten on the GC.

Shu-Sin said...

my chain dropped me!

hillbilly said...

I see what you did there.

not from NYC said...

and another such story...
Does the NYPD hate cyclists?

Disgruntl Ed. said...

I've let this go on far too long:
awhile

streepo said...

I hate when I get a sticom in my eye.

theshepherdsdog said...

snob you are certainly correct, the cop video is shocking

cyclotourist said...

BIKE COPS

SUBCONSAILOR said...

Hey nineteen.

Thomas said...

So... Joseph Gordon Levitt + Fixie with deep v's and flop n chop cockpit + Duane Peters shoes = Double Rush 2, 2 Double 2 Rush? or is it Quicksilver 2 Electric Boogaloo?

leroy said...

I got dropped on the Brooklyn Bridge last night by a guy in a skin suit.

But thanks to NYPD security cameras, I won't have to miss his victory salute at Adams Street.

Eat your heart out Portland!

Pontius Pilate said...

HAIL CSZR

-P.P.

Anonymous said...

ugh, the cops in brooklyn. one day they're going to kill someone in Prospect Park: racing around, "patrolling," while kids totter back and forth in the road attempting to learn to ride. one day, splat.

Anonymous said...

The real question about the Joseph Gordon Leavitt chopped and flipped bars is what's up with the brake? What self-respecting aggro bike messenger would ride with one of those? Are they gonna remove it in post?

Anonymous said...

FKDA PLIC

PawnShop said...

I'm unaware of any Mpls ride-by butt gropers ( unless "in my mind" counts ), but thirty years ago, there was supposedly a butt-slasher. As the story goes, this guy would drive up next to a woman on her bike, and "put the mark of Zorro" on her shorts - occasionally drawing blood. It could be nothing more than urban legend, and none of the womens' butts I've inspected since then showed any such telltale scars.

Also still an urban legend: the "helmet-mounted downblouse cam" - I haven't yet figured out the right aperture & focal length to use.

SAY CHZ

ringcycles said...

Just as ride-by groping in Portland is a serious crime, while in NYC it's a "missed connection", I suspect boosting some elses bike is a "serious crime" in NYC, while in Portand, it's considered "sharing a community resource".

zenbicyclist said...

I watched that fight during the Tour de France with my 12 year old daughter who laughed out loud and said, to me, "You guys are such sissies." Then there was a commercial on Versus for cage fighting to emphasize what she just said.

Artisanal Bib Laundry said...

No need feel dirty! Bibs $12.5!

Spooge extra.

Anonymous said...

so this is the defense?: "why investigate Armstrong when there's REAL crime afoot?"

or? the radical libertarian: "whatever the government does is bad!"

or? "come on EVERYONE does it, so, it's not bad. get off my back!"

always fascinating to watch the contorted rationalizations of otherwise intelligent people -- more "art" to the bullshit.

Anonymous said...

so this is the defense?: "why investigate Armstrong when there's REAL crime afoot?"

or? the radical libertarian: "whatever the government does is bad!"

or? "come on EVERYONE does it, so, it's not bad. get off my back!"

always fascinating to watch the contorted rationalizations of otherwise intelligent people -- more "art" to the bullshit.

Isolation Helmet said...

The Authorities: "I Hate Cops"


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVMQueEuHtw

InDaDrops said...

such a fine line (or a lone, grimy digit) between a punishable offense (the middle finger salute) and a corporate logo (the fingerbang).

smugseattle said...

Wow, what's-his-face from "3rd Rock" has fallen a long way since his surprisingly good performance in "Brick."
All you haters suck my bricks.

DEEP VEES

Anonymous said...

The movie messenger seems to have a rear brake lever mounted to the front brake lever position on the handle bars. I like a character that does his own thing not what all other hipsters do!

HelpyHelpertino said...

That cop is going to run over our CelebFred at the next intersection.

WhiteandStrunk said...

Don't you mean "...wait for the film to "drop"..."?

"...wait for the movie's release...". Sheesh.

I expect better.

le Tappoix said...

Floyd Landis is now racing in the Cascade Cycling Classic in Bend, OR. He showed up last night for the 2 mile prologue time trial and USA Cycling would not let him wear a jersey with sponsor logos. He raced in a freaking grey t-shirt. Photo here...

http://www.bendbulletin.com/apps/pbcsi.dll/bilde?Avis=BB&Dato=20100721&Kategori=NEWS01&Lopenr=7210388&Ref=V2&MaxW=330&MaxH=220

We'll see how he does the rest of the week....seems that NBC or ABC or some network has decided to take race footage for Dateline or Newsline or whatever program, as they are doing a story on FL.

Anonymous said...

Biking is awesome. Here are some things that are not good!

Drew said...

Here in Illinois, it's now a felony to film or photograph cops. So cam will get you imprisoned, now. Got ya comin' and goin', don't they?

CommieCanuck said...

So Nike locates a campus in a place called "Beaverton" and is surprised that it attracts perverts?

This is why no businesses locate to Athol, NY.

ringcycles said...

"Frankie says Relax"? and a man "who charged boldly into the scrum despite having only a pair of flip-flops and a bib bearing the number "69" for protection"? Is this cycling or a scene from Carson Kressley's favorite film? BSNYC you're only re-inforcing zenbicyclist daughter's opinion of us. Now where did my leg razor go?

Soooo I guess said...

Ivan Stevic is even steven with his mechanic...

Rock Me!

CommieCanuck said...

Has anyone else noticed that 'Roid Landis', aka, "that fucking liar" allegations that were "sour grapes and fabrications" are slowly being proven true, one by one?

just sayin'

Without throwing rocks at a black kettle, I have myself been tempted to sell my bike on eBay for weed money after a 16% hill on a hot day.

yofilly said...

I think I'd prefer being groped to watching Double Rush. Maybe the NYPD had just seen that episode and was bitter. 40 acres and a mule. oy.

Col. Sanders said...

I was dropped by my chain.

Bastards.

mikeweb said...

CC:

Funny though, I heard that Dick's Sporting Goods will be relocating to Athol, MA.

Stay safe everyone!

LK said...

Frankie's still the man!

Salty and Sore said...

Ah yes. Thank you, Snob.

The first Cooter I liked, before I knew what liking Cooter was. I like neither in the manner most intend, but kudos to those who do.

And waddaya know! Portland hits the cycling-big-stage, and MILF-Hunter relocates to nearby Beaverton.

I like math.

NoYouDaHo said...

Wow, lotta Athols here. Please don't forget Athol, Idaho.

Anonymous said...

OK. In Beverton, a 43-year-old woman was "grabbed" on the buttocks, while a 54-year-old woman was slapped on the same bodily feature. Is this two different "perps," or the same guy and a case of age discrimination?

Anonymous said...

I'd rather be groped by a criminal pervert than run over by Johnny Law. It's a funny world.

Putin said...

In Russia, chain drops you.

CommieCanuck said...

Wow, lotta Athols here. Please don't forget Athol, Idaho.

There's a lot of Athols in this world.

Anonymous said...

Fingerbangs are obscene, they should be banned.

ant1 said...

smugseattle - atlanta's own brick?

Quicksquirt McHurt said...

If I ever visit Beaverton, I'll hit it.

Anonymous said...

GRAB BUTT

Anonymous Coward said...

Or even better

GRABS ATH

Anonymous said...

that's what she said

bikesgonewild said...

...hate to backtrack but i hadda go to 'office depot' yesterday...picked up a 12 pack of ticonderoga's for $2.50...

...anybody need a "hand sharped" $12.99 pencil...

...i aim to price slash those "artisanal" dudes right out a' bizness...

...& i'll wear a tweed hat when i sharpen your pencil if it makes you feel better about yourself...

Anonymous said...

Why is supercool Hollywood messenger running a single rear brake on a singlespeed? WTF? And yes, those are Phil Woods hubs to B43s. I've seen the bike up close.

The villain rides a Trek. Which I have to admit makes sense to me.

The other night on Jay and Johnson in Bklyn a cop drove a non cop car wrong way up the one way at about 100 mph with no siren, etc. Nearly fucking killed me.

bikesgonewild said...

...c'mon, you bastards...buy a fucking pencil...

...okay, okay...hey, mister, wanna buy a "hand sharpened" pencil, price slashed down to $7.99...what a' ya want outta me, blood ???...

...sheesh, soon i'll be the guy on the corner w/ a tin cup 'hand sharpening', ie: whittling a point w/ a cheap penknife just to make a buck...or $0.99, in sales terms...

Tex said...

Best stay outta my town, bgw. That fella I mentioned yesterday, he don't like competition much. Somethin' bad always seems to happen to anyone movin' in on his territory. Just sayin.

bikesgonewild said...

...see what i'm up against...

...i'm gonna have ta' consider my $2.50 ticonderoga 'investment' a wash...

...too hard to make a dishonest buck...at least at nyc prices...

livingjetlag said...

The twist in the upcoming movie: it turns out the cop is also a hipster, and his squad car only has one gear, and no brakes. This is why he occasionally runs into 61-year-old Chinese dudes...

livingjetlag said...

Hey, Bikesnob, what's the deal with your book these days? According to Amazon, it should be available to ship some time in 2036. I know this is not your fault, but do they tell you about this stuff? Long term back-order is lame as hell.

vivek jena said...

For Sale: Slightly used silver Sugino 75 crank arms (175) and Sugino 75 chainrings (48 & 38)
URL: http://cgi.ebay.com/Sugino-75-Crankset-175-144-BCD-Sugino-Chainring-/250667124862?cmd=ViewItem&pt=Cycling_Parts_Accessories&hash=item3a5cecc87e Cranks are in great condition and read, "High Strength and Precision Sugino 75) on one crank spider (see photo) , threads for pedals are perfect, some blemishes, and minor scratches. Comes with a 48 & 38 Sugino 75 chainring. No reserve. Will be shipped for free and properly, with deliver confirmation. Thanks and feel free to ask any questions. Listing is for all items. Local pickup is available. I used this crank setup before posting and it works superb.

On Craigslist: http://chicago.craigslist.org/sox/bik/1856027759.html

Compare to same crankset for $324: http://www.bikeman.com/CR1012.html

Thanks.

Photos (Flickr) : http://www.flickr.com/photos/vivekjena/4605171916/
Photos (Picasa) : http://picasaweb.google.com/vvk.jna/ThePastInsideThePresent02#5470885294792495058

WILL SHIP.

KEYWORDS: TRACK, FIXIE, FIXED GEAR, COKE PROBLEM, ELECTRO, MOPED, VALENCIA, CAMPAGNOLO, PHIL WOOD, PABST BLUE RIBBON, HAMMS, TECATE, POPS BAR, DELIRIUM, BENDERS', ZEITGEIST, THE PHONE BOOTH, THE MAKE OUT ROOM, PERIOD BLOOD, JAY REATARD, MESSENGER, FAKENGER, POSER, ART SCHOOL, FREIGHT BAGGAGE, TIMBUKTU, SINGLE SPEED, CHOPPER, BOBBER, NIKE, REEBOK, PASTEL, ALL OVER PRINT, HIP HOP, HUF, UPPER PLAYGROUND, RETRO, TIGHT PANTS, TRANSVESTITE, ANTI HERO, ALEY CAT, MESSENGER, BIKE RACE, BICYCLE, WICKED RAD, AWESOME, SICK, HOT, SWEET, SEXY, TITS, BUTT LUBE

Photos (Flickr) : http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3381/4605171916_a2cdc8234d_z.jpg
Photos (Picasa) : http://lh4.ggpht.com/_4Gxh19bS_pE/S-x9MIsDz9I/AAAAAAAACe0/e-zPdBx6M4Y/s640/R1-%201.jpg

vivek jena said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
vivek jena said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tex said...

@vivek jena

There had better be a very funny joke buried in there somewhere. Otherwise you are a douche bag.

leroy said...

Is it just me or do the key words for the bike ad in Vivek Jena's post remind anyone else of the newspaper ad for the lost dog with three legs, one eye and a case of mange that answers to the name Lucky?

My dog hates that joke.

Salty and Sore said...

Omg! (yeah, I said it-- fuck you, Radio-Shack-Lance!)

QSMH is totally foffing off to douchebag's keywords right now. Go, Quicksquirt, go!!

Btw, Apple wanted to 'edit' QSMH as WANG. Go figure.

Anonymous said...

cool siteCheck it out!

Anonymous said...

Mr Snob, I liked that the last sentence today was the punch line for the whole post.

bgw, don't give up - try painting some coloured stripes on them.

Lastly, while on the topic of refinement... CC mentioned handcrafted shoe lace nibs yesterday. I am writing to confess that I sport handmade shoe lace nibs on the ride to work.

After cutting off the inferior plastic nibs I whip the ends of my work boot laces with 100% linen thread and then massage in an epoxy adhesive to create a composite monocoque nib. WHIP then MASSAGE the COQUE - a simple mnemonic device to help remember the process.

The handcrafted nibs on my work boots were the highlight of my kit today, followed closely by my grey cotton time trial t-shirt. Mine is dark grey, the Floyd Landis fan must have bought out the light grey ones. From there the scarier reaches of Nu-Fredlyness were explored - slicks on full suspension mountain bike, reflective striped road worker vest, large backpack etc.

This is the honest truth, and while I'm at it I might as well admit to Nogocyclist that I don't drink my tea out of a humble and affordable leather boot, but in fact prefer a reciptacle moulded out of melted credit cards.

ce

Anonymous said...

男人有了外遇,但是他不想離婚
外遇情人面前,他可以享受著年輕戀愛般的美好
在回歸家庭時刻,他可以享受著老婆對他無微不至的照顧
在同事朋友面前,他可以享受著眾人對他的忌妒與羨慕
男人有了外遇,但是他不想離婚,他只想自私的擁有一切

Anonymous said...

結婚率愈來愈低,離婚的比率卻愈來愈高!
昔日的七年之癢,現在已經縮短至兩三年!
離婚變成極可能的選項,您該怎樣維護自身權益?
想要離婚,夫妻財產怎麼分配?
想要離婚,我可以拿到贍養費嗎?
想要離婚,子女監護權會屬於誰?
這些問題您夠清楚嗎?
離婚往往是撕破臉的局面,不要奢望對方還會為您設想!
讓專家幫您解決問題,幫助您拿到屬於的一切、漂亮離婚

USA holidays said...

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Anonymous said...

If they want to make a bike messenger movie they should start with William Gibson's "Virtual Light".

Roy said...

ok first time for everything. Looks like he is wearing a Chrome bag for the movie and when you look at the other cleb photos he is zooming out with what looks to be a Manhattan Portage and wearing it left swing. In the movie he is doing the traditional right swing. That must be the acting part.

-Benjamin Maddox- said...

Oh that’s odd… I was assaulted by one of their film crew while riding my bike in the city on Saturday. A guy working on a movie about a bike messenger tries to knock bicyclist off bike to keep him from riding down a street where filming wasn’t even happening. Columbia Pictures needs to get their act together.

http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/com/1874414308.html

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fixie bikes said...

cooter is silly.