Friday, April 30, 2010

BSNYC Friday Cheese Plate!

Cyclists in New York City and elsewhere have been following the Patrick Pogan Critical Mass trial with rapt attention, and as you probably know by now the jury has reached a verdict. While they somehow found Pogan not guilty of assault, they did find him guilty of falsifying his report. If you're a criminal layperson like I am, you might assume that being convicted of falsifying a report isn't as bad as being convicted of assault. However, it turns out that the whole falsification thing is a felony, but the assault charge is only a misdemeanor, so he was actually convicted of the more "serious" crime--so the verdict isn't as benign as it seems. You might also have trouble understanding how Pogan could be innocent of committing the actual assault yet guilty of subsequently lying about it, but such is the nature of the legal system. I also have trouble understanding the point of a three-speed fixed-gear hub, so I'll just assume that this verdict is the legal equivalent of that wishy-washy component.

In any case, now that Pogan is an ex-cop and a convicted felon, you can be sure he's looking for security guard work, and I can guarantee you that I will not be engaging him to work at my appearance at the Powerhouse Arena in Brooklyn tomorrow:

I very much hope that at least some of you will join me at this event, to which I will be bringing not only a special and embarrassing (to myself) PowerPoint presentation I'm still at this very moment working on (or at least thinking about working on), but also various prizes from sponsor Knog to give away in a manner I have not yet determined.

Also, the following morning I'll be at the Five Boro Bike Tour, so if you're participating (or even if you're not) please come by the Toga Bikes tent at the start, where I'll be working. There will be copies of my book as well as opportunities to purchase last-minute ride necessities you may have forgotten (this does not include "Wednesday weed") and to have your bicycle repaired by experts (or, if you're unlucky, me). If you've ridden the Five Boro Bike Tour in the past and have visited the Toga tent I very well may have inflated your tires for you since I help out there every year, but this time you can at least put the douche to the face. (I will "Tweet" my exact location on my "Twitter" when I know what it is, and I may or may not also bring one or two of these to either event.)

Having thoroughly and grossly plugged myself, I'm now pleased to present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right you'll know, and if you're wrong you'll be exhorted to "bring out your best."

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and I hope to see you Saturday or Sunday.

--BSNYC/RTMS




1) Mark Cavendish's recent controversial victory salute was intended as:

--"A message to commentators and journalists who don't know jack shit about cycling."
--"A message to Bradley Wiggins."





2) Cavendish is sorry.

--True
--False




3) Why is this Tour of the Gila rider smiling?

--He just won a stage
--He has taken the overall lead
--He's holding the race's official (and venomous) live Gila monster mascot
--He has a bird's-eye view of the podium girls





4) Which city will host the Single Speed Cyclocross World Championships in 2010?

--Seattle
--Vancouver





(Hangin' it up.)

5) "Messenger chic" is over; now, it's all about:




6) What are these cyclists looking for?

--A game of bicycle beach volleyball
--Lone Starr and Princess Vespa






7) Where does this professional leg shaver ply his trade?





***Special Bicycle Maintenance-Themed Bonus Question***



When is a chain whip useless?

122 comments:

Bad Lawyer said...

tgif

sufferist said...

booooyahhh!!!!!! early bird this....

hillbilly said...

good one

g said...

FAIL

hillbilly said...

hey, that's my first podium

sufferist said...

Patrick Pogan Critical Mass trail

Is this a commemorative trail, is it made of granola and whey?

Anonymous said...

the bsnyc book is in the mail. oh, top ten

Cav Not said...

(moral) victory salute!

wishiwasmerckx said...

Top Ten placement today!

g said...

missed the podium, but slayed that quiz. Dual finger bang to that mother.

Anonymous said...

top 20 biotch

sufferist said...

Man we ain't found sh*t! Classic Space Balls....love it

chlomo said...

top 12

fierce panties said...

top 20 from NM!

Anonymous said...

When will then be now? Soon.

Anonymous said...

Wait... where is everyone? Even if the rapture HAS come I can't believe most readers of this blog would be affected. Too busy reading the book to bother with the blog?

yofilly said...

Help me. What's the key to victory in the Friday quiz? Alternative search engines? Ironic interns? Drinking more Budweiser Light?

Anonymous said...

Goddamnit get a load of those tits!

wishiwasmerckx said...

Imagine the margin of victory if that guy had not been slowed by the drag created by his 70's porn-star facial hairway.

I wonder what yearway Budweiser Light morphed into Bud Light.

shoegazer said...

i only said

krafty said...

top 20, and i aced the quiz.
i think there will be bourbon in my morning coffee today to celebrate.

wishiwasmerckx said...

I can not believe they feed day-old burritos to the homeless. The guacamole has turned a disgusting shade of brown by then, you know.

Isn't it time the fresh-food movement reached the homeless, too? Just because they eat out of a trashcan the rest of the week does not excuse serving yesterday's food to them.

Bad Lawyer said...

Hillbilly, you're first podium, really? Now I feel guilty.

Everyone have a great ride and don't piss off the cops.
BL

Anonymous said...

The Manx Missile should have used the backhanded apologyway and said something like, "I sincerely apologize that you took offense to my finish line saluteway."

bob evans said...

sausage helmets!

g said...

I think this is what Cav was trying to do with his salute:
Kingpin

Captain Hairdo said...

Do you sell those shirts? I GOTTA have one!

ant1 said...

ant1st!

ant1 said...

congrats BL, and hillbilly.

dignan said...

Not even with the pack. R Sys explosion, pooped in my shants, had to stop for cockles. Same old excuses.

Anonymous said...

The Burrito Project goes the full circle: first you create homelessness when you gentrify, then you soothe your conscious with an empty gesture.

Dave said...

Is anyone else disturbed by the Houston leg shaving pervert?

Will he also shave triathletes. Three inches above their speedo? heh, heh, heh.

mikeweb said...

Aced the quiz!! And congrats to hillbilly and BL!

Hopefully I'll be in town for the next round of RTMS in person interaction-way themed events. This weekend though, I'll be in Cape Cod, one of the Lobster holy-lands.

Maybe one day, Lobster willing, I'll get to have my own BSNYC t-shirt.

frilly said...

Sweet geezus, I wonder if Bruce needs an assistant. I might be willing to provide a 'happy ending' or two.

portland anonymous said...

i once put douche to face and it wasn't pretty

Keith Hearn said...

Professional leg shaver? Ye gawds!

rezado said...

Bring out your best!

SOYE JISM

ringcycles said...

Its too bad Cav caved. He should have said that all those pink paper scribblers, who can't even ride a vespa at 30 kph, should stick their pens somewhere more useful. Though I think his gesture was making that point.

@yofilly, it is all in doing the proper "openers" on Wednesday.

@frilly, your generousity is why I adore you.

luciferyellow said...

I would also like to thoroughly and grossly plug yourself (to others), and I'd even spend my own money doing it if I could do it in the T-shirtway!? There is no use for pretense anymore; embrace the sell-out! BOO-YA!

ant1 said...

portland anon - i learned the hard way not to store by douche kits next to my mouthwash.

jimmynuetron said...

Since the mask got revealed game got real. -Ghostface

kale said...

Snob,

I can't read your book until it comes out for Kindle. Can you scan it into PDF so I can read it the way it was meant (on a screen)? I don't want to be left behind...

Pontius Pilate said...

HAIL CSZR

-P.P.

homeless biker said...

i think i coulda podiumed had i just skipped those friggin burittos the burittozillas handed out this morning and stuck to dumpster diving...damn it..

Tony I said...

Cavendish is such a (Park?) tool.

Salty Seattle said...

TGIF is right!

Had a Woody-Allenesque freakout this week. Made me realize that I really do need to find a new set of pants yabbies. I refuse to pay overmarket prices, though, for a pair that's not already available for sale.

TRPN BALZ

erik said...

Lots of crabon fibre on your poster image. Is that Cav's whip?

Cysted Hipster said...

Another great pic of the Gila girls(sweet jeebus, I would literally fight to the death for the chance of a go on that brunette) and I got max marks in the quiz!

This has been a classic week Snobby, lots of real laugh out loud moments. Oh and Snobby? Wantateeshirtwantateeshirtwantateeshirtwantateeshirtwantateeshirtwantateeshirtwantateeshirtwantateeshirtwantateeshirtwantateeshirtwantateeshirtwantateeshirtwantateeshirtwantateeshirt. Please sell us teeshirts.

W

Cysted Hipster said...

Five actually. I want five teeshirts.

Salty Seattle said...

ant1, Frilly, and Kale-

Ditto.

hillbilly said...

don't feel guilty bl - i don't need top step, any top 3 will do.

thanks guys! have a good weekend yall

yofilly said...

@Ringcycles

Many thanks. I will try not to over-partake in my weedway o'wednesday next week.

ant1 said...

hillbilly - you say that now, but the day you do get a top step, nothing else will ever do again. it's kind of like going black, from what i hear.

Cyclin' Missy said...

Let us know when and where we can buy your book online. For those of us who can't get to NYC by tomorrow. Thx!

Dr. Who said...

I think your heart maybe useless as well when it is detached from the vascular system and in the center of your chest...even with cogs floating over it.

Billy Reid said...

well, if the cog is on the chest, maybe the chain whip could actually be used for whipping.

Billy Reid said...

awwwwww. they flagged and removed the leg shaving post!!! I'LL NEVER GET TO SEE IT!

The Fixed Gear Homeless Guy said...

Those sorry hipsters! They brought me a burrito that was already a day old and gave me a bottle of water to drink with it. At least they could have gave me a Budweiser Light six pack to wash it down with.

Kerry said...

Keep plugging away bikesnob!

Nogocyclist said...

Billy Reid just click on the photo. The screen shot of it is still there.

Billy Reid said...

Cyclin' Missy:

Amazon is already discounting it (although ship date is next week).

Ouch Snob, your stock appears to be dropping faster than the burrito crew's next edit. You'd better tell Amazon to respect, granted, I don't think amazon has ever sold anything at full retail pricing.

leroy said...

If I had to guess, I'd guess that ex-officer Pogan was acquitted of assaulting the cyclist and convicted for lying that the cyclist assaulted him.

I'll leave the legal analysis to experts like Bad Lawyer, but it looks like the jury sifted the evidence and determined that no one assaulted anyone. Shucks, that ought to show all them folks that claim New Yorkers are inconsiderate.

BSNYC -- On a more important note, what timeway-ish is your powerpoint on Saturday and will there be a prize for best costume?

(I'm not asking for me about the costumes, it's for a friend. Honest. Why do folks just always assume I dress funny all the time?)

Daddo said...

"A small part of a larger pantomime in which he reenacted a scene from Anton Chekhov's "The Cherry Orchard" with finger puppets."

How can this answer possibly be wrong?

..now if you'll excuse me...I must be on my way to train for next year's TOTG...

(have a fantabulous weekend full of immenseness)

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

May the Swartz be with you!

Stupid Name said...

Does somebody know where the video of the assault is. I was told it is on you tube somewhere?

Removed, or never there?

Tony I said...

Snob, you've got to get that book available in Kindle too.

Never Knows Best said...

I almost feel like I should apologize on behalf of Houston. It's no longer enough for me to keep a keen eye out for cars when I ride, now I have to watch out for Freaky McMeshavesalot as well.

Nogocyclist said...

Police pushing down cyclist at Critical Mass.

yogisurf said...

TGIF, damn right. Had some Cheese on my salad.

Hey gang, not only does the book have 4 Gold BSNYC Book stickers in it....it is small-sized for easy packing on your bike. I'd bet 30 would fit in your average designer messenger bag. The content? Big…big..big (small print).

Snobby, agree with Hairdo, put some shirts up for sale. I've got Boy vs. Bike, Imagine, Big Ring Brew Club, Commuter, Group Therapy, even a Primal :-(.

Shaun said...

Wait... We were rooting for the bearded guy in the blue jersey; right? Was he on a Rivendell?

Vito Weiss said...

I will transcribe his blog for electronic consumption, but some other monkey is going to have to submit the book in such an outlandish format!

db said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
CommieCanuck said...

Wow..proof that in 1981, bearded guys had not yet discovered recumbents. And..and..you can hold your beer in one without spilling it.

Jefe said...

Small thanks to Bud Light for the prehistoric victory salute. It was much more annoying than anything Cavendish has done.

Fred said...

I loved watching the Bud Light Fred win that sprint so much, I got every question wrong on purpose.

I have a recurring dream in which I win a sprint but when I am awarded the Yellow Beard-net of victory, I learn that the podium girls have been arrested, deported and replaced with Gov. Jan Brewer. Turns out their dresses were too snug to carry all the needed ID.

Salty Seattle said...

Commie-

Can you translate that from Canadian for us?

Is it easier to hold the beer on a recumbent, or in a beard?

Salty Seattle said...

Vito-

Thanks!

And we appreciate all your hard work.

IBS said...

I only travel at ludicrous speed

Eric Lowe said...

Hey BSNY, will you make your powerpoint available for download on this here blog.

Anonymous said...

RTMS,

If I stop by the book launch party will you trade me a copy of your book for a copy of David Byrne's Bicycle Diaries? Got it as a gift and it is unreadable. I will throw in a pair of gently used half shorts?

CommieCanuck said...


Is it easier to hold the beer on a recumbent, or in a beard?


The beard acts as an insulator, keeping the beer cold. This is why hockey fans don't shave in the playoff season.

I can explain with defining Gibb's free energy:

Gibbs free energy ΔG, equals the work exchanged by the system with its surroundings, minus the work of the pressure forces, during a reversible transformation of the system from the same initial state to the same final state, which is beard length dependent.

Salty Seattle said...

Buy The Book today, and it will ship the next business day (by Monday, it appears) at this point.

It turns out Nutella is not truly vegan, and I've been sinning, unknowingly. If I'm going to sin, I want to, at least, enjoy the fact that I am doing so. Therefore, my vengeful side wants to punish the trees for being part of a conservationist collusion against me.

Besides, I hear stickers are involved.

Salty Seattle said...

Commie-

Thanks!

My head just exploded a little, but you said the magic words, Beards and Beer.

mmm...

CommieCanuck said...

For those follically challenged, or Asian, there other solutions.

CommieCanuck said...

the UCI banned this when Zabriski tried to us it.

CommieCanuck said...

..and there are pubic hair versions, similar box, just replace "beer", with "urine".

ant1 said...

people - get snobby's book here

enter newuser09, or newuser08 in the promo code box for 30% off.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

CC -Thanks for that beer beard. I'd be lucky to get a shot glass under my current gotee-whey.

ant1 said...

check out the customers who bought this also bought sidebar. who the hell is buying the book?

ant1 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
CommieCanuck said...

Customers who bought this product also purchased:

French General: Treasured Notions
$24.95 Hardcover

The Art of Toy Story 3
$40.00 Hardcover

Hush Little Baby
$12.99 Hardcover

Sukie Noteblock
$14.95

The Beer Beard
$29.95

mikeweb said...

I just ordered the stickers- um, I mean the book.

Also ordered 'A Dog in a Hat' for my reading pleasure.

Broz3736 said...

I gots your book last week & I didn't get no stickers. I wuz robbed.

Shaun said...

Does "Catcher In The Rye" show-up in the "people-who-ordered-this-book-also-ordered" list?

hillbilly said...

love that book mikeweb, just in the middle of his new one, "come and gone"

end of train device said...

Snobby,

How can I get a signed copy short of staking out this years sscxwc? You're not going to want me to accost you, pen in hand, while you try to run the barriers.

leroy said...

A first edition "The Art of Toy Story 3" is a timeless keepsake of movie magic, a nascent family heirloom whose value will only increase over the years.

(That said, Joe Parkin's "Dog In A Hat" was a good read. But imagine my embarrassment when I figured out it wasn't a sequel to that Dr. Seuss book with the cat pictures and rhymes. I wonder if his new book has anything to do with that August Wilson play about Joe Turner.)

J-Bird said...

My copy of the book arrived in the mail yesterday.

Now, do I have to read it, too?

leroy said...

Oh what the heck, it's Friday, I'll do the lead out.

99....

(Ride safe all!)

heath said...

kindles are so passé.

erik k said...

snob love the new shirt

Salty Seattle said...

Commie-

Does it come in a merkin?



Oh dear. the things I say..

Salty Seattle said...

heath-

So is The New Yorker..

Salty Seattle said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jefe said...

No stickers on Kindle. Think about it.

Fred said...

Re: the Beer Beard.
Piffle. I basically have that setup already because I ride my recumbent wearing a front-mounted Camelbak bladder slung in a baby carrier.

As CC points out, the beard insulates it nicely unless I get up to a high enough speed to blow it sideways. Which I don't.

Red neckerson said...

Was there a race today or something?

cyclotourist said...

I assumed Cavendish was saying "Win number two."

beerecorder said...

Figured since you worship the lobster god you would appreciate my t-shirt:

http://bit.ly/an7qns

!

J.Brewer said...

Aggressive gentrification and immigration enforcement are necessary to preserve white privilege and smugness.

Amazon Sales Stats said...

Apparently there is no convergence between BSNYC book buyers and The Bicycle Wheel by Jobst Brandt. Why is that?

Dee Kellan said...

YAY I received my Bikesnob NYC book in the mail from amazon today! Thanks for the free stickers! I love you Snobbie.

gih said...

That's a victorious moment to him.

BudBrake said...

Hi BikeSnob,

Here is something for you to write about.
ABS brake for Bicycles - Cool -

Information re performannce etc. www.budbrake.com
Now available to all bikers Safety
Information and order
www.pxsi.com/3388
Get one free program available.

airshoes said...

I like your blog. Thank you. They are really great .
Some new style Puma Cat shoes is in fashion this year.
The Nike Air Shoes is a best Air Shoes .
Red Shox is good and Cheap Nike Shoes.
If you are a fans of Puma basket,we would offer the good and Cheap Puma Shoes for you .the nike shox torchis best christmas gift now.
Running Shoes
Nike Shox R4
Nike Air Force Ones
Speed Cat
The information age is really convenient .

Anonymous said...

The hermes handbag leathers utilized in their handbags are dyed in every hue also confab imaginable. There from the replica Hermes handbags bags leathers are professionally treated and home made into latest penchant handbags besides a kind of accessories. The Birkin action is one of the well renowned handbags trumped-up by discount Hermes handbags .
With the use of daidaihua , a fat and obese person can quickly become slim and appealing to others. It only takes thirty days for someone to use lida slimming t. Within thirty days, he or she can already lose a lot of weight. Nevertheless, lida recommended use is a total of three months. By the end of that period, all the excess weight that makes one look fat and ugly disappear. slimming capsule herbal capsule is an extremely safe slimming pill. Like all other supplements, just do not abuse it by taking too much. One pill a day of slimming capsules is all you need to lose weight. Using lida daidaihua now.
uk Tiffany is one of the leaders in the field of elegant designer jewelry. Designer jewelry has long been a part of our culture, and no company is more well-known than silver bracelets . usually just called silver pendants , this company has been producing spectacular jewelry (and some silver and house wares) since 1845. Many people dream of owning an expensive piece of Tiffany necklaces , and the designer has inspired many reproductions and knock-offs throughout the years, which serve to fill the demand for a cheaper version of these designer jewels.
When you have a vintage Chanel Wallet with you, Chanel handbags becomes a whole different ball game. Known for their luxurious fashions and accessories, replica Chanel handbags is one of the most famous brands in the whole world and its reputation keeps on building. The range of products that come out each season are the most sought after items in the fashion world. But not everybody can lay their hands on a Chanel handbag like that.

dinoibo said...

Sesli sohbet Sesli chat
Seslisohbet Seslichat
Sesli sohbet siteleri Sesli chat siteleri
Sesli Chat
Sohbet Sesli siteler
Sohbet siteleri Chat siteleri
Sohbet merkezi chat merkezi
Sesli merkezi sesli Sohbet merkezi
Sesli chat merkezi Sohbetmerkezi
Sesli Sohbet Sesli Chat
SesliSohbet Sesli chat siteleri
Sesli sohbet siteleri SesliChat
Sesli Sesli siteler
Seslimuhabbet sesli muhabbet
sesli sohbet sesli chat siteleri
sesli sohbet siteleri sesli chat
seslisohbet seslichat
seslikent sesli kent
sesli sohbet sesli sohbet siteleri
sesli chat sesli chat siteleri
seslisohbet seslichat

longge said...

There are many different types of the louis vuitton handbags available in the market today. You can get the Louis vuitton bags which is according to your taste and style. The designs and styles would be so different from the other brands and louis vuitton are so comfortable and easy to carry that you would want to have them once you have a look at louis vuitton bag . They are available in black and brown leathers.

Anonymous said...

Here what i found -> vision correction

ekle paylas said...

nice blog Thanks for sharing. voicesohbet was really very nice.
sesli chat siteleri sesli sohbet
sesli sohbet siteleri sesli chat
seslichat seslisohbet
sesli siteleri chat siteleri
sohbet siteleri sesli siteler
voice sohbet sesli sohbet siteleri
sesli sohbet seslisohbet
sohbet siteleri sesli chat siteleri
seslichat sesli chat
herkesburda herkes burda
sohbetmerkezi sohbetmerkezi

fixie bikes said...

I love cheese in my blog posts.

Anonymous said...

[p]We are advancing our pretax predictions for the next three years from 隆锚9 . Here just make the [url=http://www.outletmulberrybag.co.uk]mulberry bag outlet[/url] leather Mulberry handbags foe example . This particular producer is merely concerning the many originator handbags which frequently trendy females could not hold on without . Many of us would like to mostly bear that enhanced pouches to Victoria Beckham's most highly charge authentic Hermes and mulberry and imitate trendy look . Just pay [url=http://www.outletmulberrybag.co.uk]mulberry bag[/url] a visit to our site and choose a bag you like . Today隆炉s statement makes clear that shorter-term selling recital is in addition a greatest optimistic factor . For the prevailing year,mulberry handbag, we are upgrading [url=http://www.outletmulberrybag.co.uk]mulberry bag uk[/url] from 隆锚13m to 隆锚15m,mulberry outlet, for 2010/11 from 隆锚18m to 隆锚20m and for 2011/12 from 隆锚22m to 隆锚30m . Series with flexible design, such as peak inclined duffel bag, tote, and mini tote and terrific proportion of hobo . The leather of Mulberry Satchel bags is of high quality, and it隆炉s quite comfortable when you touch the bag.[/p][p]Mulberry is skillful and unique in leather items . Nowadays the new cute yet sumptuous Mulberry satchel bags features bright colors, modish shape, light weight and some other merits . Today, mulberry accelerates the advance of their covering by accretion their [url=http://www.outletmulberrybag.co.uk]mulberry uk[/url] productivity, so that ample calibration of covering is not stored in the system . Fashion Mulberry Bags For You what is definitely an acclaimed all-embracing British cast which
Like accustomed visitors, we could this sort of a ample mark or Fortunately, a mulberry individual backpack to listen to, but we rarely apperceive the achieved action of establishing a mulberry bag . Mulberry messenger bags could be implemented for all kinds of things from traveling to night have on and whichever your situation, you can't go improper that has a leather handbag! Mulberry Designers glimpse over the branded handbags and messenger bags and sort a considered to mulberry outlet happen up with their magnificent that glimpse equal toward the branded usages having said that the glimpse is unquestionably many . 1m and from 隆锚17 . The handbags are available in lots of colours that draw in almost everyone who intend to shop for it . He considered human life only tolerable abroad, and went abroad to stay at every opportunity, and at the same time he carried on a complex and improved system of agriculture in Russia, and with extreme interest followed everything and knew everything UK Mulberry Outlet Shop Bags was [url=http://www.outletmulberrybag.co.uk]mulberry outlet[/url] being done in Russia . Out of this we are able to judge how Mulberry handbags cater for consumers?taste.[/p]