Friday, February 5, 2010

BSNYC Friday Fun Quiz!

In all the discussion of "Empire," it is worth noting that there are other cyclists making films of themselves engaging in death-defying urban riding as well. Moreover, they are doing so on bicycles that coast and have front and rear suspension. Here is one such video entitled "my bad azz street/trail mtn bicycle i built (all carbon/ti):"


This video was forwarded to me by a reader who also happens to be a dentist but claims not to own a Serotta (yeah, right) and I was immediately riveted. First of all, unlike most fixed gear videos, this one is accurately titled. Nobody dies in "Death Pedal," "Empire" should be called "Gentrified," there's no Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce or even a B.J. Hunnicut in "MASH," and I don't even know what the hell a "Macaframa" is. On the other hand, "my bad azz street/trail mtn bicycle i built (all carbon/ti)" opens right up with a bad azz street/trail mtn bicycle he built that is all carbon/ti:

Then there are the tricks. You say you like wheelies? This guy's front end pops up more than ads on a porn site. He wheelies in the subway station, past the bus shelter, and even right into the camera:

(All You Haters Visually Inspect My Bottom Bracket Shell)

Best of all, the video is also interspersed with technical information regarding the bad azz street/trail mtn bicycle he built that is all carbon/ti. Here's a detail of the custom trigger that triggers something:

Other highlights include the twin Spinergys, the Fox shocks, and a compass on the stock and this thing which tells time.

But when it comes to sweet custom bicycles, you'd be hard-pressed to find a specimen more intriguing than this Concorde, forwarded to me by another reader:

This is a rolling retrospective of road bike gimmickry, and a rare case in which fixed-gear conversion might actually have saved a "vintage" frame. While the Mavic Mektronic group is the obvious highlight, you can't disregard the original Rolf Dietrich-era Rolf wheels. Dietrich ushered in the era of paired-spoke technology, thereby inspiring some of serial retrogrouch and uber-curmudgeon Jobst Brandt's most heartfelt pro-36 spoke MA2 treatises as well as consigning millions of squirrels to death by decapitation on Sunday group rides all over the United States. Sadly, your opportunity to own this bicycle has passed as the eBay auction has ended, but amazingly nobody bid on it so perhaps you will have a second chance:

Speaking of second chances, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz, which you're free to re-take as many times as you'd like. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right you'll know, and if you're wrong you'll see the next must-have fixed-gear freestyle bicycle accessory.

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and remember--if you must "wheelie," always use the appropriate bar.

--BSNYC/RTMS






1) "...a combination of shrugged shoulders, pursed lips and forced air resulting in a sound that’s akin to getting hit in the stomach with a basketball." This is apparently:


2) Three-time Tour de France winner Greg LeMond will apparently not rest until he:








3) As if it needed more validation, Portand is now receiving:







4) This map indicates:









5) Watch out, Primal! Some company is producing series of jerseys featuring:









6) Watch out, cycling! The hot new wheeled trend is:






7) What was the make and model of the $11,000 bike recently stolen in Issaquah, WA?

--Pinarello Dogma
--Trek Madone




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133 comments:

SD friend said...

again for the win! booya

edom bin necker said...

fuck yeah

Dog Shot said...

Uh, late podium? Probably not.

Anonymous said...

top five?

Anonymous said...

top five?

Anonymous Coward said...

points!!

Adam said...

podium!

ant1 said...

ant1st!

Dog Shot said...

Ahhh, yea! Been awhile. Not riding and getting fat was holding me back.

edom bin necker said...

billy bob tolt me that if i joint the navy i could larn to be a corpse man and then when i got out i could get a job at the hazard funural home

its shit work but it pays good

Wagner said...

nyc freezing fun

Ronsonic said...

Mediocrity is my podium!

d. fofonov said...

Leading out for my krasni droog Mr. bin Necker.

Entitled White Guy said...

No, I'm first!!!

Fierce Panties said...

Fierce!

Disgruntl Ed. said...

I would have been on the podium, but somebody shoved me into a flower box.

samh said...

No need to dub over a soundtrack on that HOTTTTT video.

hillbilly said...

wait, but i was busy posting a comment asking where the quiz was!? oh, the irony....

j2dahizzay said...

top 20?

ant1 said...

that vulva video is pretty funny,, thanks for sharing snobby.

Pontius Pilate said...

HAIL CSZR

-P.P.

Anonymous said...

Do I spy jean shorts?

SEPTA said...

Riding in subway stations is always cool. Go Philly!

wishiwasmerckx said...

Re: Quiz question #1

Anyone who has read every word ever written by or about Lance Armstrong will immediately recognize this "unmistakably Belgian gesture" as Johann Bryuneel's "wolf-shrug."

Anonymous said...

lemond is here to stay

Disgruntl Ed. said...

I would have got #3 right if you had correctly spelled "tyre." Sheesh.

The others I got wrong all by myself.

Shram said...

I may not be the first to point this out, but he was manualling, not wheelie-ing.

MNUL ENVY

CommieCanuck said...

Vulva website:

"Yes, I am over 18 years old and enjoy juicy erotic"


Anyone who has read every word ever written by or about Lance Armstrong will immediately recognize this "unmistakably Belgian gesture" as Johann Bryuneel's "wolf-shrug."

The world cycling press and media try everything in vain to make Belgians sound interesting.

PROOF:

The details of my life are quite inconsequential.... Very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a 15-year-old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize; he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes, he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament... My childhood was typical: summers in Rangoon... luge lessons... In the spring, we'd make meat helmets... When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds — pretty standard, really. At the age of 12, I received my first scribe. At the age of 14, a Zoroastrian named Vilmer ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum — it's breathtaking... I suggest you try it.

CommieCanuck said...

JUCY RTIC

BikeSnobNYC said...

Shram,

Riding on one wheel will always be a wheelie to me.

--BSNYC

Anonymous said...

Yeah f that skater terminology.

tuffwheel iiz

Wham-O said...

Remember, you can't do a real wheelie without a Wheelie Bar!

Hendrix or maybe Zappa said...

You can't do a real whammy without a whammy bar.

Helen said...

A thoroughly titillating quiz. First the dog-powered skateboard, then the vag-juice, "now with more organic contents." Maybe Whole Foods should sell it & market through the next "Pedaling" episode. "riding...smelling...jizzing..."

JTK said...

DOGY PWRD

mikeweb said...

I got dogma-ed.

Congrats Edom, but no "praise be to allah"?

CommieCanuck said...

Vulva is nothing but a solution of caproic acid. Looks like for the typical customer, that's the closest they will ever get.

grog said...

Fun viddies.
Thanks RTMS.
RIDE NICE

ervgopwr said...

FUCK YEAH

ITSF RIDY

SADL SNFN

VLVA SCNT

powermatic said...

Great. As if life in Bend isn't hard enough since The Great Housing Crash Of '07, we now must live with this embarrassment. Dear Jesus, will you never lift this burden from my weary shoulders?

Sarah P said...

Top 40 ! I don't do so good on quizzes though...well come to think of it...I may be begging the question .

kale said...

"Hey Julie, what's up? You're out of coffee? Oh shoot!"

kale said...

"Hey ____. You're out of weed? Oh Shoot!"

kale said...

A business model is born...

powermatic said...

Forgot to ask-is that first vid "edgy" or "gnarly"? I didn't see any Mountain Dew being consumed, so am I correct to assume it is, indeed, "edgy"? TIA

Rover Lady said...

Actually q:4 is a map of all the places I've blocked cyclists...

INOWH RULIVE. ( thumbs incl)

Test Tickle said...

PARA SITE

LADY PARA

SITE EYES

good song usage in the video...

happy friday, y'all

balls.

Rover lady said...

Yes I have an xtra finger on my rt hand....

Test Tickle said...

...or should that be "songway"?

balls.

kale said...

I know this might be the wrong forum for this but I don't want to come off as 'an asshole' but it really bugs me when people in Portland 'discover' something that's green. It's like the myth of Christopher Columbus discovering America: the whole Manifest Destiny thing where when white people clam something people everywhere have been doing for, like, ever.

I mean I love riding my bike, but I'm not going to pretend like it's a radical idea to deliver shit by bike.

kale said...

... and do wheelies, for that matter.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Kale,

Portlanders invented the concept of delivering things by bicycle in 2006, two years after they invented the fixed-gear drivetrain and fully a year before they created the world's first wool cycling cap. They also claim to have invented "shants," but scholars believe they actually came from San Francisco.

--RTMS

kale said...

The cyclocross dismount was also invented at Portland International Raceway.

Anonymous said...

that Vulva video made me pop a wheelie in my pants.

Anonymous said...

there's a mektronic gruppo on ksl.com classifieds, shit looks weirs

the pregnant word said...

meh-tronic

Fierce Panties said...

Dude on his bad azz street/trail mtn bicycle he built is indeed bad ass. If I saw this guy wheelie through a redlight I would just stop and say holy shit that guy ain't a pretentious fop.

g said...

No Whamo-Wheelie-Bar necessary or used in the making of this film.
Wheelie

Just sayin' is all

hillbilly said...

close test tickle, i think it is actually 'melodyway' or 'toneway' but i'm not sure. you might be right, could be 'songway'

hillbilly said...

HEMP PYRE

A. Franken said...

I for one am getting damn tired of people making fun of our president. If he said corpse man he damn well meant corpse man.

Fuck you.

Bristol Traffic said...

Not enough Carbon in the Carbon/Ti bike.

I hate to be snooty here, but are the hope brake levers ti? Cos they aren't carbon. Same for the fox sus. Hasn't he looked as the DT forks and rear-suspension: both carbon.

Disappointed.

Cat 4 said...

Dang, I though there was one more lap.

Sprocketboy said...

I am puzzled as to why anyone would want a New Yorker magazine cover on their jersey (let's not talk about Primal, please), but at least Retro Image offers microbrewery jerseys, including Coney Island Lager, and He'Brew, the Chosen Beer. And I think the term is "woof-shrug," or perhaps "wolf-shrug" as LL Cool J would say it.

Anonymous said...

Cat 4-

Nice.

Stupid Name said...

Very hard, quiz this week.

Dog powered recumbant trike. They couldn't find anybody who would even sit in it for the picture. I think that dog powered recumbant trikes steal your soul.

Jefe said...

I think all $11k Pinarellos need a Wham-o wheelie bar, preferably made of crabon. Or else, what's the point?

Anonymous said...

Nice qizzzz! Bad skorrr!

Anonymous said...

first!

Cap'n Long Thighs said...

Wow! I just noticed how much set back there is on that vulva seat post! Damn, where do I get one of those?

Anonymous said...

It's not "shants" that we claim to have invented in portland -- it's "sharts", which are sort of a lumpy fart that gets deposited in your pants as a result of drinking too goddamn much coffee, then going for a long road ride. They're really quite fun.

LoRoK said...

Every Friday I look forward to the BSNYCFFQ, hoping that this will be the one when I can get every question right. I mean, I've taken every single quiz you've put on your site and I've never gotten a perfect score. I was certain today was the day. And then I didn't answer a SINGLE FUCKING QUESTION with less than 1 wrong answer, and most questions I only got right on the third try. Now I'm all surly. Thanks a lot, asshole. (but seriously, I'm joking)

Julie said...

Get the coffe here asap!

rezado said...

fridays are the best.

Anonymous said...

New Yorker had a really nice Tour inspired cover several years ago. Um, I wouldn't want it on a shirt though.

Anonymous said...

I'd hate to see the Greg-Lemond-ate-a-bad-peach version of that Vulva commercial, or maybe I would.

Anonymous said...

I'd hate to see the Greg-Lemond-ate-a-bad-peach version of that Vulva commercial, or maybe I would.

Maybe on a jersey?

eeeeeeeeee said...

Ana Juan wanna go for a ride?

don myrah said...

78th! o_0

Chris Green said...

I was totally rockin shants in frisco(ca 91) Damn PDX phonies try to hog all the west coast greatness:their burritos can't da ones from SF and its dumb to name yer towne after the airport (how dumb).

Anonymous said...

I think they did that 'cause they were tired of their stuff getting shipped to the other Portlands.

Coastiedouche said...

Commie Canuck, That might be some of Mike Myers best writing. I think he wrote that.Pretty hallicinatory nonsnsical and brilliant.I gotta give the guy with the Ferrari bike "props" Now thats urban cycling.Suck on that fixie douchebags!Just sell your fixies on ebay and move on to the next trend.

Anonymous said...

DNF

that "perfume", haha, I am going to spill it all over work and wait for the weird facial-responses from the carpetmunching girls.

Anonymous said...

anon 5:58-

Portland invented carpetmunching.

Bartali's domestique said...

The vein! The vein!

Cat 4 in spelling too. said...

Dang.

Anonymous said...

I'm Belgish.
Yeahh!

Wish you all a very pleasant weekend.

Nogocyclist said...

Double Figure 8's

CommieCanuck said...

Coastie..Mike Myers never wrote anything the Kids in the Hall didn't write earlier.

Anonymous said...

Put some spinachis on that Concorde and I'll bid.

Otherwise, no dice!

Printed koozies said...

Good images !

Anonymous said...

Where is this Cental Park they refer to in the wheelie/crabon-ti video?

Anonymous said...

Well I finally found that boring-ass wheelie bar. Nothin' but a bunch of skinny white kids drinkin' PBR. Then the cast and crew from one of those "Pedaling" videos came in and I couldn't stand it any longer. What a waste of an afternoon.

Anonymous said...

BSNYC,PhD

Frank Eeckman said...

top 10

hillbilly said...

cc- ummm, I was thinking, i don't know, a dollar!

oh, daddy drank...

S. Palin said...

At least I know the difference between a Corpsman and a corpse man. They call me Barbie and that stupid little fucker can't even read his TelePrompTer well.

Dr. Makim ben'Dover said...

Are corpse men licensed to treat with high colonic baloney implants?

D. Fofonov said...

Take the win my friend.

Edom bin necker said...

Fuck yeah

Luck E. Seven said...

101st!

Man, I want some cake...


A

leroy said...

You know what no one ever talks about when talking about winter rides?

Laundry.

How come there are no videos about all the laundry you have to do afterwards?

That's what I want to know.

Tons of bar spin cycling videos, but not one spin cycle video.

Imagine my disappointment when I found out what Garmin's "100 % Clean" motto really meant.

Laundry is cycling's real dirty little secret.

kerry said...

sadly, I do recognize that Belgian gesture. But I only read every thing I could find when I was suffering on heavy chelation. Does that make me more of a bike nerd or less?!!

kerry said...

Whats with the perfume? ewwwwwww

Im surprised someone hasnt come up with 'cycle' the real scent of the peloton. Wear it and win.

It would smell like slightly rancid roadies, cliff bars and espresso.

And yes, the laundry thing. What a pain.One ride and you have to do a whole load.

La Dauphine said...

Where did you read that?
------------------

Bartali's domestique said...

The vein! The vein!

February 5, 2010 6:08 PM

Anonymous said...

http://cyclinginquisition.blogspot.com/

Watch out snob, he is starting to be funny, you may now have some competion.

Crispy Kale said...

Re:

Re: Quiz question #1

Anyone who has read every word ever written by or about Lance Armstrong will immediately recognize this "unmistakably Belgian gesture" as Johann Bryuneel's "wolf-shrug."

This is in Daniel Coyle's "Lance Armstrong's War," where it's claimed as characteristically Belgian.

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Easily I acquiesce in but I about the brief should have more info then it has.

urchin said...

Preferring read report of latest Lance Armstrong movement of bowels, thanks!

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Excuse me, but does anyone know where I can find nice products at a cheap rate?

I'm interested in road bike knickers, BMX upper body armor and a skateboarding helmet with a faceguard.

I want to look like those guys in that athletic event they staged to showcase Mr. Armstrong's new beer commercial.

Anonymous said...

Yea Bitches! Who Dat!!!

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Norman said...

Dear Mr. Snob,

For your Monday post, please snark on the sporting event from last night.

Your loverling fan.

Anonymous said...

very useful read. I would love to follow you on twitter. By the way, did you guys know that some chinese hacker had hacked twitter yesterday again.

Bartali's domestique said...

the vein

mikeweb said...

Ride Solidarity?

Anonymous said...

um Ferrari does make a bicycle:

http://www.google.ch/imgres?imgurl=http://sweatngears.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/010_1152_colnago_ferrari.jpg&imgrefurl=http://sweatngears.wordpress.com/2008/10/10/cycle-2008-some-of-the-coolest-racing-bikes-in-the-world/&h=922&w=1229&sz=1158&tbnid=Uutwd3lqZ_E9BM:&tbnh=113&tbnw=150&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dferrari%2Bcolnago&usg=__yRRPzaGvk9Wk4dB6V1p4SjLDK-8=&ei=I1lwS4H1Ec6ssAblgJnwBQ&sa=X&oi=image_result&resnum=2&ct=image&ved=0CA4Q9QEwAQ

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