Friday, December 18, 2009

BSNYC Hot Friday Quiz Action!

Here in the New York City metropolitan area we sit shivering on the cusp of a cold and possibly snowy weekend:

Ordinarily, I'd be dismayed by this outlook, but in this case I'm pleased since I'm hoping the weather will thwart (or at least torture) those planning to partake in this weekend's ill-advised and potentially embarrassing Williamsburg bike lane naked temper tantrum. Unfortunately though, it will probably only encourage them. The sorts of people who think that foisting their unsightly figures on others will actually turn anything but stomachs probably also think doing so in a snowstorm somehow enhances their "street cred," and they've also been conditioned by their parents and their liberal arts colleges to believe that the only thing between themselves and what they want is the creativity of their own complaining.

In other news, in case you've been sick with worry these past 24 hours, you can rest assured knowing that Anne Hathaway is okay:

Things were touch-and-go there for awhile, but fortunately she was protected from that hulking, menacing, pink and purple bicycle by her diminutive German luxury sedan. Meanwhile, the rest of the press has picked up on the story that the cyclist was a paparazzo, which the police concluded due to the fact that he was carrying a camera:

This only shows how ignorant the LAPD is with regard to cycling, for it's common knowledge that all fixed-gear riders carry photographic equipment at all times so they can keep their friends and the world apprised of the ever-changing "colorways" of their bicycles. In this case, the cyclist was probably on his way to a Fixedgeargallery shoot when the accident took place. In fact, in this post-crash interview, the cyclist says he didn't even know who Hathaway was, which means either the police are wrong or he's an exceedingly poor paparazzo:



I can't help suspecting the former.

That said, I'm pleased to send you off into the cold with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right you'll feel as smug as a naked protester, and if you're wrong you'll see a failed elephant trunk skid.

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe this weekend, and most importantly, ride clothed.

--BSNYC/RTMS


1) Triathletes are now using:




2) 'Tis the season to be:





3) 'Tis the season to be:






4) Could Portland's reign of self-righteous terror be over? Alarming figures reveal that:






"Consider also that the steely glare of Nordic women may appear cross to other cultures, but when you know it [all too well] you are aware that it may contain a dozen different emotions and expressions. It is disarming and quite fantastic."

5) Where can you find this rationalization for Nordic nonplussitude?





6) "Now that's a fixed incentive!" This bike* is:

*(via Prolly)





7) What is the Knuckle Tattoo 2.0?




***Special "Yeah, That Seems About Right" Hipster Plaything-Themed Bonus Question***



Seriously?

--Yes
--No

119 comments:

Anonymous said...

PODIUM!

rezado said...

Man, I love it hot

TRB said...

First podium?

Billy Reid said...

smug alert

Anonymous said...

top ten!

TRB said...

Damn, top ten anyway. More dope next time...

Anonymous said...

PP--
back on top--chariot wheels at the right psi?

OBA said...

Flatted!

chlomo said...

Top ten?

Bob Kidd said...

sweet

EVT said...

More Canadian Splendor please!

Astroluc (Find me on Tumblr and Instagram @Astroluc) said...

RE: Ironic Video Game Chest Tattoo

oh for the love of god...

and speaking of...

THANK GOD Anne is OK!

New York is warrrrrm today. It was 9ºF here in Boston with a wind-chill of wayyy below that. Eat that Portland!!

:P

COLD RYDE

mercator said...

That steely-eyed look could actually mean 'fuck off you pervert'

I can't understand how that copenhagencyclechic guy hasn't been arrested yet.

Dave said...

Hooray! 0 for 7 on the quiz, but I did get the bonus right!

And I am with Astroluc. Its great that Anne is fine

rezado said...

All this fixie publicity is so going to land Anne Hathaway a supporting role in that new messenger <a href="http://www.firstshowing.net/2009/11/12/david-koepp-directing-bike-messenger-movie-premium-rush/>flick</A>

rezado said...

oops

rezado said...

Her street cred is through the roof right now.

MINGUStheMECHANIC said...

"Trees by bike saved my marriage" ?

Performance mouthpiece brings up so many other possibilities-
"The Performance mouthpiece saved my marriage" makes more sense.

At first I thought that last shot was some window display in tokyo,lie to me and please tell me it is.

streepo said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
hillbilly said...

i could watch that failed skid video over and over and over and over and over and over.....

have a good weekend yall

Chuck'n Biscuits said...

slaughterama seis - where do they come up with these people?

Anonymous said...

The hipster action figures saved my marriage

Strayhorn said...

I couldn't bring myself to answer that last question. That photo reminded me of the time I stared into the abyss and saw Nietzsche riding on a fixie with a tattoo of Missile Command on his chest.

wishiwasmerckx said...

You only need to buy 20 Industrie Essential Summer Sportsbags to aggregate $199.00, thus qualifyingfor the $99.00 fixie. Have you finished your X-mas shopping yet?

Anonymous Coward said...

I had to stop when I dropped my cone of smugness.

DUCKHUNT

Disgruntl Ed. said...

Canadians have splendour. Splendor is the cheap knockoff.

itchy bottom said...

Hey Snobbie!

Whatcha got against people getting naked - for any reason? Hell, i'll take creative complaining over regular ol' complainin' any day. Especially by naked people! Sure beats concealed weapons and bad attitudes taking a stand. Kraikie, yer not gettin all 'publican on us ITTET, are you?

All You Nudies Can Scrub My Saddle!

Top 40!

STKY BUNZ

c'mon son...

son said...

where we goin?

Jim N said...

Re: the naked bike ride in south Williamsburg, are you saying you're on the side of the Hasids here? Their specious position on "scantily clad women", and the fact that they and the city have agreed on this as an adequately legitimate rationale for this foul-smelling deal to remove the bike lane, is just preposterous! It's completely sexist. Where else would this be considered a legitimate thing to say? Iran?

Hasids don't own those streets any more than anyone else, whatever kind of college they went to. Screw the fundamentalists.

Loren said...

More Dachshund of Time! Nevertheless, fine post, now I have to go cross a bunch of bridges downtown to get those numbers up.

wishiwasmerckx said...

A special seasonal greeting for BikesnobNYC:

Baruch attah Adanoi,
Elohaynu melech ha'alom,
asher kidishanu b'mitzvotah,
vihitzivenu lehadlik,
ner shel hannukah

And a special holiday link: http://www.catsthatlooklikehitler.com/cgi-bin/seigmiaow.pl?4171

Bobby said...

He's only claiming not to know Anne Hathaway because he knows how hard his street cred will plummet if he admits to being a fan of "The Devil Wears Prada."

Fierce Panties said...

I did a lot of stupid shit when I was a skinny pasty pretension cracker, SPPC, but I'm proud to say that I never rode around naked yelling at Jewish people to move out of town.

Ms. Hathaway doesn't look okay, she had to read a magazine in her Audi when the real paparazzo showed up.

Anonymous said...

Dear Bike Snob NYC,
Today while riding the stationary bike at the gym, I noticed it had a display for "Watts". I've never been rich or drunk enough to buy a powermeter, so I thought "Hooray! Now I can palp wattage like the pros!"
Is this a correct usage of "palp"?

Sincerely,
M. Backstedt

Anonymous Coward said...

MISL CMND

And here I thought my Hong Kong Phooey tattoo held the market on irony

MINGUStheMECHANIC said...

Pistadex at $400

MINGUStheMECHANIC said...

Link no worky, try:

http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/bik/1516030445.html

sufferist said...

In Tulsa we have a semi-naked event to celebrate the New Year, Hasidim are invited.

Anonymous said...

So theists and snarky bloggers get to determine the rule of law in Brooklyn? Direct action is bad because you went to Bard? Your hipster hate is getting a bit stale, no?

Chad Pitt said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Max said...

Glad to see we achieved the glare of the snob.

Thank ye.

ps. TreesByBike photo is a rider, not the entrepreneur himself. He is safely hidden behind anti-glare, polarized hipsto'cross Rudy Project eyewear.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Jim N,

If they want to protest the concept of religious belief they might as well head to Bensonhurst next and start unplugging Christmas lights.

--BSNYC

Test Tickle said...

BSNY - did you pass a law? Apparently anon@2:35 thinks you did.

balls.

sufferist said...

Forget about Ann if you will for a moment, there is a German sports sedan out there with a busted side mirror. Where's the outrage over that? They are just a step away from two-tone mismatched parts Hell. Don't think it can't happen, 'cause I've seen it....Let's all take a moment and hope that the mirror is in stock, it does not have to be ordered and that a "loaner" is not temporarily fitted. They had better not even think about driving down to Newport for the weekend in that condition.

Fingers crossed.....

BikeSnobNYC said...

Test Tickle,

Of course, I am a member of the twisted theocratic cabal that runs New York City and is hell-bent on making the lives of recent Bard graduates miserable.

--BSNYC

grog said...

Seriously:
Dolls?
No, action figures.

Have snow, will slay singletrack!

FUNK WHIZ

Anonymous said...

Commuted into Albany, NY today at 5 degrees on studded tires. I was cold, but smug. Absolutely no danger of being run down by a celebrity here.

ant1 said...

"I was cold, but smug."

nice

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 2:58pm,

What about William Kennedy?

--RTMS

Anonymous said...

No-one ever said you were a part of a twisted theocratic cabal: what are you talking about? It's just curious to see your dislike for young people is seemingly greater than your concept of law and fairness (not to mention cycling). I never accused you of passing a law, just passing some hot air, and not your usually funny brand of hot air, but a more rancid, sadder kind.

And the Hasidim don't "run" the city: again, I never said that. But to compromise with them on a matter of the public thoroughfares is unconscionable, regardless of your (rather stale) disdain for tattoos and whatever color of "curated" fixie you don't like this minute.

Tax $$$ pay for those lanes, no? So why do you laugh at a public action designed (however self-consciously and sillily) at maintaining those lanes for the public? The mind reels.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Passing laws? More likely passing gas.

ant1 said...

anon 3:08 - just because people make fun of something does not mean they hate it. it also does not mean they support the opposite.

sufferist said...

Anon 3:08 -In the words of Ralphie May:

I'm just trying to find out if you are a punk-ass bitch or a bitch-ass punk...

Our dearest snobby is merely using the antics of those silly folks as a foil for entertainment. I don't think he is running for office or anything like that, he's just wanting to make some people laugh at the expense of others. That's what funny people do. He is funny. See the connection?

Udder said...

I think you're on the wrong side of this bike lane debate, Snobby. I don't blame the local cyclists for outrageous protests or vigilante behavior. Look how well the outrageous behavior of the Hasidim worked for them.

MINGUStheMECHANIC said...

Anon 3:08
Are you for real.
Re-read the entries and this time carefully and without the knee jerk reaction of feeling persecuted. Riding naked to protest bike lane removal, wow revolutionary!

rezado said...

SILL ILY?

Jim N said...

Snob, a better analogy would be if the community leaders of Bensonhurst requested that the Mitzvah Tank not drive through their neighborhood, because it's a Catholic neighorhood. Then, a contingent of non-believeing Jews from Park Slope dressed up like Hasids, got on their Bromptons, and staged a Mitzvah Parade with Al Sharpton.

But we both know that ain't gonna happen.

Besides, Bensonhurst isn't the homogenious Italian-American community it used to be.

nordicbuttsdrivemenutts said...

The difficult thing with hot nordic women isn't deciphering their gaze, its keeping up with them so you can even see that steely glare. The view from behind isn't all bad though.

urchin said...

I for one am enjoying the bike lane tantrum coverage. The assumption that wacky parading is the key to having your viewpoint prevail is among the most annoying traits of Western liberalism (and I are one..). The snob has had some wickedly funny points to make on this.

A less dramatic, and more effective response would seem to be simply riding that section of road whenever possible/feasible, lane or not. Just make it a habit.

But then again that would take an attention span.

NPJ

Anonymous said...

jebus. pull up your skinny jeans and try riding in the lane of the street instead of inside of some paint on the road. It's much nicer, you don't have to watch for doors quite so much.

Greetings from the land of smug.

Jefe said...

Sorry, Bike Snob, I went out and missed your William Kennedy reference. He is a careful driver and would never run down a cyclist in a rush to get a latte or make a hair appointment. In fact he is working on a new novel involving Legs Diamond and a six-day bicycle race. Formerly Anonymous in Albany.

Unknown said...

Ann Hathaway is just using this "accident" for free publicity;she 's trying to re-ascend to her "Ella Enchanted" levels of stardom!Duh

TRB said...

Anon 3:08 - There is no doubt in my mind that this 'direct public action' will be taken very seriously by the city, so much so that they will immediately reconsider their ill-advised and unfair removal of half the bike lane on Bedford. This action is in no way a stunt to draw attention to the bikers themselves. Oh, how carefree we are (especially in contrast to those weird men in the black coats and funny hats).

Note that those men may look weird to you, but they are fixtures in NY. This action is not going to 'expose' everyone to some 'extremists' that you stumbled across living right here in the middle of the city.

You want real action that will get a response? How about first considering your opponent's views instead of just dismissing them. Maybe they have merit.

And besides, how is what the city did unfair and by whose standard? I rode that street last night and had no concerns about my safety. If anything, I felt a lot more unsafe further along on Bedford where, yet again, there was someone riding the wrong way on a narrow street with no lights and no clue. If you're going to preach fairness and safety, you better be prepared to get people, yourself included, to practice it.

Anonymous said...

Hmm, I guess I missed where the endless recycling of "Hipster skinny jeans curated fixies lime green skinny sex tattoos" was always already funny. Generally I chortle at those too, trained consumer of BSNYC that I am. But when I'm given an unwanted dose of quietism, followed by a large dollop of smug (yes, smug), along with stale jokes, I guess that occasions responses such as the above.

Good luck getting law-abiding taxpayers to sit down for theocracy.

Anonymous said...

bike lane? what the hell is a bike lane for??? you tell me a street isn't passable unless it has a dedicated bike lane?

Stupid Name said...

RE: Ironic Video Game Chest Tattoo

Does anybody have one of those aging software programs? I need to know what that would look like when he is 65 years old.

12" Hipster action figure - even shorter window of activity.

What is XvX? Does that mean he has a long lens? Seriously.

Naked winter ride = sick hipsters.
Snobby, you are on the right side of the bike lane issue, that is why you wont get run-over.

Anonymous said...

I went to Bard, you insensitive clod. Ironically, I majored in physics.

Hi Burt. I still owe you for that Lorentz Transformations T-shirt.

Sorry.

ant1 said...

"Good luck getting law-abiding taxpayers to sit down for theocracy."

what does that mean? where is the theocracy? if it were old people complaining about a bike lane (let's say for noise reasons rather than ass crack), would that mean we were turning into a geriatricracy? and who are the law abiding taxpayers you speak of? the people riding naked on bikes with no brakes?

and written jokes, like the ones on this blog, only get stale if you keep reading them. you have the power to keep them fresh or have them go stale. use it wisely.

Anonymous said...

Hey I went to Bard too, majored in languages and literature. Even if I hadn't, I'd be able to tell you that "insensitive clod" is somewhat inflammatory.

And I don't owe Burt (Brody?) anything. :D

Anonymous said...

Yet another eyebrow-bicycle incident.

Yeah! said...

SERI OUS!

Fierce Panties said...

Hipster bashing jokes never get stale.

Anonymous said...

who ever designed those action figures didn't do their homework. I don't think fixie hipsters wear cargo shorts and over-sized t-shirts. plus the haircuts are wrong,they should have Romulan mullets.

sufferist said...

Fierce Panties:

Careful with that H-bomb, you may be in for a vicious one-way analysis of your personal aesthetic and lifestyle choices.

Just saying....you've been warned....

Anonymous said...

I agree with Jim N. The Hasidim are America's Taliban. I'm gonna have to side with the hipsters on this one.

Anonymous said...

Kudos annon 3:08.
BSNYC is way off the mark on this one. Is that the splashing from the shark pool I hear?

Anonymous said...

Man, some of you guys are dolts. Actually read what he's written. More dachsund anyway, regardless.

Anonymous said...

why not demolish Bard college and eliminate a major breeding ground of the hipster scourge

Anonymous said...

Early christnas present part a:
Managed not to be killed by the suv w/ ct plates that backed through the intersection of 2nd ave & 1rst st
Part b:
Watched as the cop who saw the whole thing get out of his cushman and take great pleasure in all the tickets he was about to write

Stupid Name said...

Hipsters come from primordial ooze, not Bard College.

More bleach, less ooze, less hating on Ann Hathaway.

Get Naked, Get a cold, get sick, die.
Accomplish nothing.
One of life's little lessons.

Lets see the video replay on Monday.

Stupid Name said...

Did that annon. actually write "dolt".

He is my hero.

Left over from the 70's.

Fierce Panties said...

Thanks Sufferist,
But when did hipster become a dirty word? I refer to myself as aging-hipster because it sounds funnier than old-punker which is what I am.

Anonymous said...

". . ."insensitive clod" is somewhat inflammatory."

It's a Slashdot meme that's supposed to be somewhat inflammatory, in Japan!

"Burt (Brody?)"

Have they added another? Is Leon still a wanker?

exhibitionist said...

All You Hasids Slap My Bareass

John Romeo Alpha said...

That said, Having Said That that Being Said, Snob said that "that said" is the linguistic equivalent of locking your quick-release front wheel with a U-lock.

I don't get it said...

How come nobody has beat the shit out of that Copenhagen douchebag?

sufferist said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
sufferist said...

Thanks Sufferist,
But when did hipster become a dirty word? I refer to myself as aging-hipster because it sounds funnier than old-punker which is what I am.


Fierce Panties: From what I can gather, after reading yesterday's comments, on the Left Coast it is deemed as a pejorative. In my post, I was adopting the attitude of one such person.

Unknown said...

I'm pretty sure that performance mouthpieces can help alleviate the shoulder-tensioning stress of learning to skid on a fixed gear. I'm probably not going to be able to make it to the naked bike lane protest on Bedford- can anybody else bring a gross of these to the after-ride party where everybody meanders up to Enid's at naught miles an hour? Some new fixed gear freestyle stars might be in the crowd, if only they could conquer the stress of mastering their first skid.

leroy said...

Is it just me or is anyone else lying awake tonight wondering if maybe, just maybe, we’ve misunderstood the naked ride in Williamsburg this weekend?

Maybe it isn’t a protest at all.

Maybe riding bare-chested in a snowstorm is one of the feats of strength the observant perform in commemoration of Festivus.

Maybe one person’s sacrilege is another person’s sacrament.

Maybe one person’s flying sac is another’s sac fly on the altar of an alternative faith.

Or maybe what's keeping me awake is a sub-epic burrito too close to bedtime.

Ride warm this weekend!

Anonymous said...

Reading snob today reminded me of a conversation I had with some guy that was from Utah, raised Mormon, but "had escaped the teachings." He was no longer of the faith.
He then preceded to cite a number of reasons why the Mormon belief system "was more fascinating than any other religion."
Much biased pal?

Anonymous said...

TRB said "You want real action that will get a response? How about first considering your opponent's views instead of just dismissing them. Maybe they have merit."

Yeah, I'll consider that women unclean, that women are chattel. Oopsies, done considering. The Hasidim are A**holes,and I am completely at odds with that kind of B.S., and I will oppose it whenever I can. Somehow I feel pretty comfortable with that decision.

chlomo said...

Itchy and yelling...

what about Discrete Action?

All You H (hipsters? hasidim?) GO In Peace

Anonymous said...

Code words like 'taxpayers' and 'citizens' must mean 'us', aka the (righteous) majority. The 'others' must be those women-bashing, non-citizen, non-taxpaying Hasidim. I guess this isn't about a bike lane afterall...

esau bin necker said...

i couldnt post nothing yes turd day but me and rikim went to the hazard mask and learnt that santy claws is really a mooslim who has a sled pulled by camels and tosses hi explosives down the chimneys of infidels

i didnt know that

leroy said...

Anon 3:16 AM --

Mr. O'Brien called.

He says he's stuck in Chicago.

He wants you to take his limo and give his speech at Madison Square Garden.

leroy said...

99 ....

leroy said...

100th!!!!

It's a Festivus miracle!

Anonymous said...

but does it have breaks?

http://bellingham.craigslist.org/bik/1517475299.html

why isn't there a flag for stupidity link?

chlomo said...

Let the naked riders have it! May be they just wanna be circumcised... Freud 'll tell us

Jet said...

Your blog is very nice :).I really like it !
Merry Xmas ^^!

----------------------------------
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bikesgonewild said...

...sorry, "jet" but we're not into beautiful wallpapers...right now it's all about gift wrap...

...i know leroy, ant1 & bad lawyer are all looking for a nice array of christmas gift wraps...

Anonymous said...

ah, gee BGW--thanks for thinking of me!

Stupid Name said...

No news on the naked protest?

What happened?
Videos?
Pictures?
Eyewitness accounts?

Anonymous said...

http://www.vosizneias.com/45201/2009/12/19/williamsburg-ny-due-to-weather-bikers-chicken-out-from-naked-protest

Anonymous said...

http://us.foxnews.mobi/quickPage.html?page=16486&external=132264.proteus.fma

Andy Pandy said...

Not into wall paper either and prefer the visual allure of textured paint. However BGW if you have tips on laying floor tiles I would appreciate it as it will keep me off my velocipede for several days during the festive season and that suxs...
PS 30 deg C and surf is average here

Anonymous said...

the jews actually do own the street, the rest of that dump they call NYC as well

CommieCanuck said...

We should hold our own naked protest, vowing to read BSNYC, while naked, until something is done. We should start in the spring. That should give us enough time to find a cause.

I'm so glad Anne is ok, she's a celebrity, and they really, really matter.
Brittney Murphy died suddenly at 32 of 'natural causes', which of course, in Hollywood, means anything.

"No Means Yes" by Roman Polanski", inspired a new humourous response emoticon.

That's right, from now on, I write in Canadian. Now that we are a bully petro-nation, you should learn Canadian now, or at the end of a gas-pump gun. And you can refer to me as Sheik Commie.

g said...

Sheik Commie,
way ahead of you on that one. I am glad to see that my nudity will finally be used for good.
Anne may have thwarted the rule of threes with her 'accident'. Stared death in the face and death blinked.
Brittany, you were like a candle in the wind....[sigh]

Anonymous said...

C'mon boy!

Anonymous said...

I still don't know who this Hathaway person is.

Can't say I really care to find out either.

Awesome blog, btw.

Nishant said...

I love it hot

Work from home India

Pennsylvania workers compensation lawyer said...

Duck Hunt for the fail.

Santa Clara domestic violence lawyer said...

Friday Fun Quiz, always the best. See you monday snobby.

Chicago Fence said...

Top Ten? Really

kanishk said...

nice blog and posts are amazing

kobe beef steaks

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