BSNYC Frinary Fun Quiz!

I am a person of many phobias: revolving doors, rabid monkeys, and distracted yogurt salesmen are just a few things of which I live in constant fear. Another thing I'm afraid of is that clothing companies will stop building promotional bicycles. Surely, if the constant procession of such bicycles were to end it would herald some catastrophe in the same way a dead canary might indicate a gas leak. Fortunately, we appear to be safe for now, as a reader has forwarded me yet another fashion bike:

I was especially taken with the wheels, which apparently feature "hammer marks." This can only mean that Mavic is now taking its test wheels and rebranding them as "fashionably distressed:"

Meanwhile, just because Cadel Evans is now the World Champion of the World, this does not mean that he is finished complaining. The truth is, Evans is an artistic genius whose medium is the complaint, and a reader has forwarded me the following Tweet which indicates that he is already incorporating his victory into his extensive yet intricate tapestry of kvetching:
Not only that, but I also noticed that demands on Evans's time are now such that he can't even ride his bike:

This is clearly a bold attempt to appropriate Levi Leipheimer's old "Let Levi Ride" campaign, which he (or, rather, The Great Trek Bicycle Making Company) subsequently scrapped once justice was done and Leipheimer was finally allowed to unleash his devastating conservative riding upon the peloton once again. Still, that first album was classic:

Speaking of comebacks, I was pleased to learn that Dennis Hopper, who was recently hospitalized for flu-like symptoms, has not only been released but is also back at the helm of his Twitter account and is already weighing in on vital issues of the day:

As unsettling as this may seem to the "squares," I'd still rather share the road with him than with that yogurt guy.

Now, in the spirit of following Dennis Hopper's example (with regard to lessons, not psychedelic pantsless dune buggying), I'm pleased to present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, take a deep breath, have a friend, loved one, or helper monkey massage your shoulders, and click on your answer. If you're right you'll know (and your helper monkey will screech with delight), and if you're wrong you'll get an Australian cycling lesson. (An "Australian cycling lesson" is not a euphemism for getting beaten with a 27.2 seatpost, but it's close.)

As always, thanks very much for reading and for forwarding on items like Australian cycling lessons. Ride safe this weekend, and watch out for workaholic yogurt moguls.

--BSNYC/RTMS

1) A Connecticut inline skater recently flew into a rage because he was forced to share the bike path with:

--A man walking two Saint Bernards

--A couple on a tandem

--A juggler on a unicycle

--A 4-year old on a tricycle

2) Fixed-gear riders get knuckle tattoos, and cyclocross riders get:

--Full-body skinsuit tattoos

--Tattoos of Sacha White
--Cantilever brake foot tattoos
--Weird Flemish diktats

3) It is possible to have nipples on your back.

--True
--False





4) Fill in the blank: "The wheel keeps its _________."

--Absurdity
--Integrity
--Irony

--Sterility





5) What's going on here?

--The squirrel is wearing a helmet

--The squirrel is a fan of the guitarist Buckethead

--It's squirrel Halloween
--The squirrel has a yogurt cup stuck on its head

6) There is such a thing as a "Yogurt Bike."

--True
--False




7) "Bio Pink" is:

--A new elliptical fixed-gear chainring
--A new colored fixed-gear wheelset from Alex
--Australian slang for "vagina"
--A new scented chain lube

8) "It was bound to happen." Fixed-gear riders have finally dispensed with:

--Handlebars
--Pedals
--Saddles
--Riding

***Special Not Really All That Safe For Work But Only Mildly Dirty Bonus Question***

In the world of bicycle erotica, the wheel keeps its virginity.

--True
--False