Firstly, it gives me great pleasure to announce that the singular Erik K has produced an official graphic for The Great BSNYC/RTMS Fyxomatois Photo Parody Contest (presented by Boston Whaler Boats--The Unsinkable Legend). I'm sure you'll agree that this is nothing short of spectacular. While the sight of a pie plate-hating hyrax clutching a copy of "Pootie Tang" with a beaver by his side may be somewhat commonplace, it's rare that you also see him piloting half a Boston Whaler boat.
Moving on, it's time for a quiz. As usual, this quiz features both items that have been forwarded to me by readers as well as items I've been unfortunate enought to stumble upon by myself. Simply study the question, think, and click on your answer. If you're correct, you'll see the item. If you're wrong, you'll see part two of the A&E "Intervention" featuring former US Postal rider Chad Gerlach.
Good luck, and ride safe this weekend. Also, stay warm. (Unless you live in a warm climate, in which case I hope you're subject to an unseasonable cold spell.)
--BSNYC/RTMS
1) Which alternative weekly includes this BMTC (or "Backwards-Mounted Toe Clip") in its winter cycling tips?
--The New York Press
--The Seattle Stranger
--The Kansas City Pitch
--Columbus Alive
2) You can find this FPP (or "Frontal Pie Plate") on:
--Fixedgeargallery
--Velospace
--Craigslist
--Planet Insanity
3) You can currently obtain a modified 54cm Trek road frame on Craigslist in exchange for:
--Booze
4) What is Eddy Merckx doing?
--Leaping out of the wearer's skin
--Falling into a pool of red Jell-O
--Retrieving a bouquet and trophy that had been lodged in the wearer's spleen
--This is a trick question and that's not Eddy Merckx at all. It's actually retired breakaway artist Jacky Durand dressed as Eddy Merckx.
5) This tattoo is still "in progress." How can you tell?
--It's all shiny
--The bars are only half-taped
--The tattoo has a brake, which will probably be removed once she's been wearing it for awhile
--All of the above
6) Riding outside is totally over:
--True
--False
7) Skaters and BMXers rejoice! Fixed-gear freestylers will no longer raid your parks. For 2009 it's going to be all about doing tricks:
--In empty pools
--On loading docks
--In quarries
--On trampolines
8) According to Drew, his new LED Aerospokes are:
--"Blazin' and amazin'"
--"Hot to def"
--"Adding a bit of rotational inertia yet in the final analysis still worth it due to both the added safety factor and the fun novelty factor"
--"Completely idiotic"
***Special Product-Related Bonus Question***
The "Empire State Courier" is:
1) A bike from Performance
2) The official publication of the New York State Covered Bridge Society
3) An eco-friendly private mail service that dispatches messengers on recumbent bicycles between New York City and Albany
4) Both #1 and #2
5) Both #1 and #3
6) None of the above (it's a malapropism of "Empire State Currier," a New York-based chain of Pakistani take-out restaurants)
144 comments:
Winnah!
1st bitches!!!!!!!!
donkey
arse
Top ten muther fukkas
View is nice up here. $4
TOP TEN!
Hi, I am 12:09 Anon-
I sure bothced that finish line salute to the crowd and got pipped at the line! Damn you Urs Freuler! Sorry all...
From the XDream website:
"Real feel gears, brakes, handlebards, pedal, cranks and seat sensors enable each move"
Is a handlebard a person who sings the praises of handles?
Lo unto the world a Handle is given,
and it's name shall be Woodie.
zoom!
TOP 15 YES!!!!!!!
Oooo, in the top 20! Where's everybody at?
Handlebards, hahaha.
at least chad also had a bit of success with "Pocket Full Of Kryptonite"
i'm there too.
whoppee!
in the middle of the peloton!
I bombed the quiz.
I got confused by the Empire State Currier and Ives.
http://tinyurl.com/78n9xy
this is gonna hurt my GC hopes...
meh.
Who's the pink tank top guy faded back on the left of official logo?...
I think I know what drove Chad Gerlach to use crack...
... it was from watching that trampoline video over and over.
That was real creepy!
Give that guy in the trampoline session needs a pfar.
Now that I think about it, Drew probablly spent too much time watching that trampoline-bike video as well.
Someone needs to lock that guy up before he shows up on America's Most Wanted.
Bonus question #2:
Chad Gerlach's (according to Chad himself) main problem wasn't so much crack is it was:
1. Being an enormous asshole.
2. Being homeless.
3. Being kicked off of Postal.
(Sorry, the only reward is self satisfaction. Check your own work.)
For question #5, the tattoo is obviously a work in progress as the seat angle is wrong and needs to be adjusted.
Whoa...someone kicked off US Postal for using drugs...where's that guy from yesterday with the definition of irony?
Oh irony guy is here...
"Isn't it ironic, dontcha think. A little too ironic, yeah, I really do think... it's like Lance Armstrong not getting kicked off US Postal for using drugs."
Baa haaa haaa haaa. I crack myself up sometimes. Get it, crack. Thanks for the opening Commiecanuck.
Top 30! YES!
I thought we were going to get naked chicks today. No? Well, that's a nice pair of bewbs in the tattoo shop. Guess that will have to do for the weekend.
Damn... I'm never calling Lance a "doughboy" again. Who would have known he was so worked up over that whole WWI infantry thing.
That man can snap his fingers and send you to Sacramento. I loathe the thought!
On another note. "The Real World: Ikealyn" first episode failed to feature a single fixed gear or bike messenger! It did however, show pizza tossing and stickball. Snobby, can you sway your employer to access the tunnel connecting their loft and your interrogation room to see what Langster model they have?
BIG RING
Is that dude fellating the unicycle in the trampoline video?
Did anyone else finish watching the episode of intervention and see chad riding a recumbent bike at the end?
Please click on the "Columbus Alive" answer in the first question which links to to a hilarious (although not intended to be) winter cycling tips article full of wrong stuff. Leave comments for the author.
Back end of the main field!
artistic cycling is a whole other level. fixed gear freestylers can't even compare w/ those dudes (and dudettes). especially when it's a balding, slightly overweight, middle aged man in knickers and suspenders.
i was keeping my fingers crossed for a tailwhip on the trampoline though ...
Somebody please put La Tete en Course on youtube. PLEASE. At least the rollers scene.
Udder-
"I call these things 'feet belts' -- little seat belts for your feet."
I thought I was the only one...
Canuck - you missed an obvious problem. The wheels need truing. They're damn near taco'ed - though not nearly as they'd be if the tattoo was on Pam Anderson's chest.
Whoa, waaaay down in the field, no where near the BSNY podium today (dopers!). Nope, "blazin and amazin'" I am not, unless I sit here all day and hit refresh until I one day land a podium.
Jim, the other reason it's a work in progress is that if I were tattooing boobs for a living, I'd require many sessions and try to drag it out as long as possible.
Snob, am I missing something, how is that toe-clip backwards-mounted? Only the strap buckle is on the inside rather than the outside, otherwise it's a classic mounting for "feet-belts".
And boy, isn't Drew a huge tool...
Anon 1:28...that's where it all ends post chemical castration: socks, sandals, beard and a recumbent.
That girl's front titwheel is gonna be seriously out of true in about twenty years if she dont get a bra on that shit.
Brettok,
Yes, I suppose it's technically a BMTS, not a BMTC. Should be interesting when it gets caught in his drivetrain.
--BSNYC
Too bad Rock Racing went under. Crackhead Chad might get another chance there.
CA-
He already was racing for rocks. In the bamboo behind the In-n-Out.
#5 has a couple of tacoed wheels. That tattoo will not age well. Very expensive to true.
STILL NO LINK TO THE GRATUITOUS UNIVAGA PICTURE?!?!?!?!?
#5 is my friend Kerry. She just got married yesterday! She got married to the guy responsible for the U-lock bars you posted a while back. Small world eh?
Ps: that picture is old and its all colored now.
Practice psafe psychling:
always wear your pie plate.
Moving on,
meh.
Zach,
Small world indeed. Please convey my congratulations. By the way, that U-lock bike would make a sweet tattoo.
--BSNYC
Commie Canuck --
But when we consider the matter carefully, by definition, aren't all tattoos on boobs?
No offense meant.
Heck, some of my favorite authors are illustrated.
And even my twin brother has more ink than the Times. (True by the way. I mean the part about having a twin who's pretty well inked; the comparison to the Times is just hyperbole.)
But that just supports my point.
And explains the interest posted on my profile.
On the X-Dream site:
"We share Trixter's vision of the future, this product has the potential to create a completely new indoor sport"
-Director of International Cycling Union (UCI)
We'll call it Woosie-cycling.
For real though: if Nintendo comes out with a Goldsprints controller for the Wii, I'm getting one.
...erik k...'top o' the props', bud...always 'on it'...
...# 5...unfinished tat ???...taco-ed wheels ???...out of true ???...when sag sets in, that chick is gonna be sporting a chest sketch of a bike frame w/ two big obviously ovoid ellipsis...salvador dali melting bike wheels...that tat ain't art, it's art before it's time...
...# 7...fixed gear trampoline shenanigans...that was 8min & 24sec of some kinda bike related 'faustian' homo mating ritual (not that there's anything wrong w/ that) but sheesh...maybe that's where fixie hipsters really wanna go...
...& 2 sad 4 chad...you left 'em hangin' chad, except for lance who's only half hangin'...
...btw, those anonymous packages of crack you keep getting at "general delivery" c/o the u.s. postal service postmarked "doughboy industries" ???...little gift from somebody who wants to see ya keep yer place in life...
...smoke it if ya got it...
...just sayin'...
"Site" for "sight"? Has Wednesday rolled around a bit early, Snobby?
Shame on dat goil for dat tattoo. No pie plate, no vaterbottle cage...and in yeahs to come, I bet deh vheels gon be verry outta true...
Oysh.
screw the BMTS / BMTC thing...
Explain those grip shifters!?!?
Brian,
It's actually still last Wednesday for me.
--RTMS
Ironic first!
To hell with this bicycle portraiture crap. I'm switching to tit tattoos.
anybody who dont got harley davidson tattood somewhere on them aint worth a shit
i clicked the next blog button up at the top like 20 times and i didnt see nothing but a bunch of goddamm foriners dont anyone on blogspot speek english or what
and if one more person makes a saggy tittie joke here im personally going to hunt them down and cut there balls off
unless there canadian in which case they aint got no balls
so fuck them
Actually, it is unseasonally cold here. Middle of summer in Sydney and I'm gonna have to pull out a friggin scarf.
Hope my latte don't burn my lips.
You said it neckerson, everyone thinks they're seeing a future that no one can see. jeez, we get it already.
Now, how about the guy in Columbus where he had to saw off "about four inches to fit the shifters, brakes and grips"??? huh?
...dear mr neckerson...(see, even as an ex-pat canuck i'm used to being polite)...
...any reference here to "saggy titties" ain't no joke...nothin' funny about 'em, whether yer sportin' 'em (so i've been told) or fondlin' 'em ...so it's all been extremely factual...
...as for canadians & their balls...they're just tucked up a little higher 'cuz a the cold...sometimes ya can't see the forest for the freeze...
those tattooed wheels are gonna desperately need a true in about twenty years.
Did anyone mention that those wheels are gonna sag in the future? I bet no one did yet.
#69!
that's my cover-up tattoo, the seal of disapproval, the beaver, and the boston whaler.
it'll have the front pontoons intact!
(red? ycsmb)
That bike tattoo is gonna go all Salvador Dali in a couple years.
"DALI BIKE"
Dali Parton
RTMS,
your knuckle tats not-withstanding...
one of the wonderful things about tattoos is that they warn other people of the person's intelligence, smarts, whatever. they also date the person's
"moment" or "heyday time" of their life. consider the tribal tat (early 90s), the aquatic/sailor tat
(early 2k), and the Obama tat (late
'08).
also, contrary to what people think, these people WILL NOT regret getting their tatoos later in life, if only possibly because their consciousness/ conscience has been diminished.
a year ago i wanted to memorialize an event in my life by getting a cat tattoo for my recently passed away feline friend...i considered getting this ultra-hip Siberian prison tattoo that i saw in the Taschen book of a cat with a patch over his one eye. but
my mom informed me my great uncle dissapeared in the Soviet prison system in the late 40s for resisting the Communism in Lithuania...
so instead, i went to Coney and got a photo of my cat silk screened on a t shirt and had printed "RIP, My Homeboy" underneath it in some kind of gang lettering. it does the job and folds neatly into my clothes drawer at the end of the night. though the armpits have yellowed... damn cheap American Apparel T's...
Whoever just wrote Dali Parton, you owe me a new keyboard.
You got stuff flying outta my nose.
Straight up!!!! all you phuckers with tats can suck my balls. People with tats are weak ass mutha-phuckers
SAGY TITY
“Pedal clips: Wet shoes and plastic pedals mean your legs are doing much more work. They're propelling the bike and exerting energy trying to stay put. I call these things "feet belts" -- little seat belts for your feet. They give me more control of my bike and, because they're a size too small, allow for easy release.
A size too small makes for easy release?
How does that work exactly?
anon. 12:19 -
Woosie?
I loved the Columbus Alive blog comments.
Thanks for the Friday Fun Quiz, BSNYC.
Failing these is really entertaining.
why would you want to ruin a great set of tits with a stupid tat like that.if I was her boyfriend I would have To immediately break up go sit in a corner and cry yelling to myself"Why did I fall in love with a dirty hipster, god WHY"
I predict that the supreme court will someday rule that businesses CAN discriminate based on a person's tattoos.not give promotion based on your bicycle breast tattoo, or your "bikn rulz" knuckles... the tattoo is the mark of a person intellect and potential. i dont want my workers having tattoos, period. not even if their of our corporation's propaganda.
Mickey D's: do not hire this woman.
rtms,
is that don johnson's pink tank top in the top corner of the logo. hopefully that is an outtake still from his "heartbeat" video. when will opinionated cyclist air drum to that?
err... are there even drums in that track?
tattoos: the mark of the idiot
god that trampoline video was painful. human beings wrecked a good mode of transportation.
I am sad that I can not come up with anything clever to say about that poorly-executed Merckx tattoo.
Here's a freak bike everyone can appreciate:
http://denver.craigslist.org/bik/987414137.html
This p-far "scooter" with a blonde in 70's gym shorts is weirder than anything posted so far this week
geez, why does everyone on this blog hate tattoos so much? must be all the rich, republican, roadies ...
("rrr" for a "ggg"?)
anon 1:26
I have to agree, wtf? A tattoo only effects the person who wears it. The reasons can be the most superficial or sometimes a depth of thought that you obviously are not capable of understanding. Think back on your little judgmental life and think about all the choices you've made that have actually effected others. Now tell me that not one has ever effected some one else in a negative way tell me every action you've made your whole life has been just and noble and have had the good of the world at their heart.
My tattoo hurts no-one! Most tattoos hurt no-one. Unless a tattoo makes a statement that is hurtful or hateful, demeans another, and is inflicted upon others against their will, what the hell do you care.
Find a real cause rebels
RE the tittie tattoo
Looks like those wheels will need a true in a few years time.
your tatoo hurts everyone who happens to see it because they now feel stressed by the proximity of an idiot with a tatoo to their person
someplace in the bible...old testament it think, it warns against marking your body or something to that effect
99% of the worlds greatest human beings didn't do tattoos. 99% of the worlds pieces of shit humans have tattoos. What group do you want to be associated with?
Anon 5:03 if you or anyone else is stressed out by a picture drawn on someones skin then you have self esteem and emotional problems that need more help than lack of proximity to skin ink.
And anon 5:05 who gives a shit what it says in some ill-translated, ancient, book of ridiculous religious crap? Try some thoughts of your own.
Wow anon 5:10. Let's see the proof of the facts behind that wild statement. I'm guessing your world is prison where that might be true. I'm going to assume that you think you're one of the greatest 99% of the worlds people, making you one giant douchebag. Humility counts for something.
hahaha!!!!! what a twat! the truth hurts! damn tattoo freaks!
Anon 6:51, so how long have you been out?
that front wheel on the girls tattoo needs to be trued.
Yeah it seems like tatoo folk are the cream of the crop, good salt of the earth people....get your ink on and keep leading the way you shining beacons of light...bravo/a
wishiwasmerckx:
Ahhhh ha ha ha ha haaaaaa....Let's just say I have a breadth of experience that does not allow me to make judgments about poeple and situations where I might not know or be able to comprehend the whole truth.
That said...I'm not sayin I think it's a good idea to go out and get a Harley Davidson logo tattooed across the back of your neck because your new GF promised she'd leave her husband.
Very good people mark significant events in their lives by marking their bodies. It's been done throughout time by great people and horrific people.
To quote an "ill-translated, ancient, book of ridiculous religious crap"...."...Judge not lest yea be not judged.."
the bike tattoo is of a pink bridgestone track bike. i've seen it in person.
1st hundred!
in other news, the otsg 2009 calendar has "dropped". check out the may whip.
oldtenspeedgallery.com
100 comments?
Honestly, what is it about tattooes that gets under folks' skin?
Lighten up. Lord knows, the tat will.
But for the uninitiated, a word of caution: stick to pictures.
You do not want to wake up one morning and realize the tattoo reading "Born Too Loose" wasn't the sentiment you had in mind the night before.
And I say again, some of my favorite authors are illustrated.
(Feel free to insert Stephen Hawking/tattoo of Uranus joke here.)
100! someone had to do it
"Well I'll get a tattoo of a butt that has a butt-shaped tattoo on it, and I'll get it right on my butt! That would be cool"
get friggen real! tattoos are for dirt bags! show me someone who has achieved a PhD and also has a tattoo? I bet you can't! thats because they are not stupid and weak minded self mutilators like those who feel they need to draw attention to themselves by painting crap on their body...weak ass mutha'phuckers with tattoos!
but the point about tattoos is that their pointless. who cares if someone is or isnt offended by them!
at best they are somewhat overrated and trendy, at worst they are crass and embarrasing.
tattoos are great! i have them all over my neck, arms and calves. not a single regret. greatest choice i ever made.i look great in them too.and my mom doesnt mind either. and guess what? i graduated from Brown! any old idiot couldnt get into an ivy league school...
my next tat will be a 70s masi with only campy on it.i am putting on my thigh above my calf that has the chainring grease tattoo on it. but across from my other thigh that is a list of every american tour de france winner.
my wife has tattoos also. some are bad tribal ones from a lalapalooza show in 93.
if/when our daughter wants to get one, we will tell her "no, not until you are able to make a reasonable decision, like when your 16. i want to be the one to drive her to get her first one. the first is so special.
...good lord, i'm lost in a sea of opinionated anonymity...
Critical Ass 2:19--
Nice contribution--someone explain the need for bar ends on that scoot, though. Now aero bars, I could understand...
I know multiple PhDs with tatoos, but then again I'm not justifying this subject with a comment.
Oops.
Urchin, Critical Ass-
Scooters?
That's a subject that I feel is worse to bring up than tattoos... schlimmbesserung anyone?
Oops, again.
lalapalooza!!! that explains everything! your a queer and you want everyone to see that your queer so thats why you love tattoos!...some people!
What a shame this has become.
Some of the spokes on that tat look messed up...
Some one got a problem with ink here ????
Yeah Hank
hey, I don't have any problem with people who have tattoos. It is just my opinion that having a tattoo shows lack of control and most likely that person is unstable and prone to doing stupid things like...getting a tattoo
Then I would have to counter that I don't have anything against people without tattoos. My opinion is that not getting a tattoo shows a lack of purpose, direction and commitment to the things you believe in. Therefore prone to the stupidity of things like...making blind, blanket statements based on no facts.
Now, as for recumbent riders and triatheletes......all dorks right?
...need it really be said that all these gross generalizations about people w/ tats says one fuck of a lot more about the commentators than it does about anything remotely related to inked-up individuals ???...
...literally amazing, the ignorance that gets dragged up in the name of ironic satire...but then again, a point gets proven w/ every keystroke...
BGW...
Well said, you are correct sir! I hereby cease and desist the inane attempts to prove points that are not pointy.
based on NO FACTS??? LETS see! most people who commit crimes against society usually get tattoos...so lets see...do I want to be associated with people who have poor character traits? HELL NO! is it stupid to do something that associates you with people who have poor character traits? HELL YES! stop being a dipshit stupid ass fool and standing up for the retarded act of getting a tattoo! dumbass!!
in fact! getting a tattoo is almost as stupid as riding fixed gear bicycle with no brakes!
what is the reason for getting a tattoo? someone wants to make a statement? they want to commemorate some event?...here is a great idea! instead of selfishly getting a stupid retarded tattoo and then assaulting others with your stupidity, donate the money you would have completely wasted on that brainless tattoo to a charity or use it to pay down your credit card or something else logical and useful
I hereby claim first post effective tomorrow .1sec after bike snob completes and posts his latest insight...and tattoos suck!
All those who have tattoos and realize that tattoos are dumb and tell people to not get a tattoo...well you are allowed to make mistakes as long as you realize and acknowledge you screwed up. Those people who get all butt hurt because people discriminate over something that is perfectly reasonable to discriminate against(getting a tattoo is definitely a choice) need to see a psychiatrist ASAP because your friggen nuts
your points are very round and dull
screw all you jerks. this dumb blog is about bikes. bikes are fun and i like them, from my first one, a red schwinn stingray, to my most recent, a nishiki.
in a year, when the recession deepens, new, "neo" bike culture will go the way of skateboarding and its Vision Streetwear culture in the early 90s.
coming soon: bikes because they are fun to ride.
I totally agree! this is a blog about bicycles...particularly road bikes, mountain bike, and a little bit about fixed gear bikes. So why do these tattooed freaks feel the need to take a healthy pastime and drag it down the gutter with themselves and their lame tattoos?
Yeesh.
Some folks need to lighten up.
Sometimes a tattoo is just a tattoo.
At least that's what my psychiatrist told me when I asked about the tear permanently inked under her left eye.
TAT4 TITS
GRUP HUG!
Great tattoo discussion guys.
"Let's just say I have a breadth of experience that does not allow me to make judgments about poeple and situations where I might not know or be able to comprehend the whole truth."
Priceless. I wish I had enough knuckles to get that qupte tattooed on them.
qupte = quote
ant1-
I'll paraphrase it for you:
AGNO STIC
as for the dude with the aerospokes...
"I know him pretty well and he's a solid dude and has been riding bikes for a long, long time for whatever thats worth."
ASSHOLES
Crack is still an epidemic in Denver:
http://denver.craigslist.org/bik/989234951.html
Gosh, you'd think that getting tattooed was the only sign of poor judgment one could see in his neighbors. I know people who vote Republican but are also decent people. Not everyone who drives a diesel pickup for personal transportation is a moron. I even know some people who are sure I'm going to hell because I tolerate gays, but I still do business with them. None of these people are evil, but then I don't think I'd trust someone with multiple stupid tattoos to take care of my kids. It's a judgment call.
In the future, the wheel on the woman's boob is going to need to be trued.
In the future, the boob on the woman's tattoo is going to need to be trued.
No Snob Today
i wood say that tat is going to sag with the ladies breasts then the wheels will needa trrue.
"hey, I don't have any problem with people who have tattoos. It is just my opinion that having a tattoo shows lack of control and most likely that person is unstable and prone to doing stupid things like...getting a tattoo"
who ever wrote this can suck my ink covered cock!
p.s. who the fuck care what any of you think?
Derogatory comments regarding anothers appearance shows a lack of intelligence. You small minded, conservatives should go fuck yourselves.
The ugly, anonymous, redneck, (probably church going) conservative side of cycling rears it's head.
I bet you idiots wouldn't have the guts to say that to one of the many cultures, the Maori of New Zealand for example, that you just insulted.
May the Yakuza visit you one night in your sleep.
i know i'm way out of date with this comment, but had to respond to the dickbrain who said 'show me a person with a PhD and tattoos'. That would be me, for one, idiot. I have tattoos of my new-born kids' feet on my upper arms. I have a PhD. I'm cool, you're not.
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