Tuesday, November 4, 2008

This Just In: Gone Votin'

It's Election Day, and like many Americans I must fortify myself with strong drink, don my voting smock, and undertake the long and difficult journey to my polling place.  As such, I will return tomorrow with regular updates.

I strongly believe nobody should be disenfranchised (even if they're from some other country) so if you're unable to vote for President because you're a non-US citizen, under 18 years old, a convicted felon, or any combination thereof, you can still experience the thrill of voting by using my Virtual Election Simulator below.  And it's even better than the real thing, because not only can you mix and match candidates, but you can also vote as many times as you want:



And if you're still looking for something to do, you can watch this moving video about internet personality Opinionated Cyclist and me:


So vote early, vote often, and ride safe.  See you tomorrow.

--BSNYC/RTMS

131 comments:

Anonymous said...

whaaat?
anon1st!

Anonymous said...

McCain First!

Anonymous said...

Obama - podium - yeah!

Lucky 7 said...

All you haters suck my vote.


A

Anonymous said...

all you voters suck my non-citizen balls

Anonymous said...

top 10

Slappy said...

Wow, you're up early.

kale said...

all you debaters suck my polls

Ben R said...

Top 10

Ben R said...

Top 10

Anonymous said...

pie plate!!!

Anonymous said...

I vote for socialism because history has proven it works SOOOOO well..
were doomed

Anonymous said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=om3a2SzlPm8

Sarah Biden said...

You forgot to put in Obama/McCain as an option in the poll.

streepo said...

I personally hope Nader wins, then dies. I'd like to see the swiffer as president.

Critical Ass said...

I can see Russia from my house

Andrew said...

YAYYYY SOCIALISM!

But seriously, I voted like 2 weeks ago.

Anonymous said...

I'd like to begin the campaign for Full Frontal Frilly today.

Lucky said...

We've already lost our election. I hope to enjoy your democratic win vicariously. I bet I'll hear the cheering all the way from Chicago.
Good luck!

pdxjenn said...

Hilary should've won

wishiwasmerckx said...

Another Opinionated Cyclist video where I could not make it through to the end. My streak is intact.

Lucky said...

Obama = Winner!
Opinionated cyclist = Wiener!

I liked the challenge to a bare knuckle chess match. This guy wears white socks for sure. I bet he's ironing his favorite white socks right now.

ant1 said...

ant1st!

Anonymous said...

Meh-cain

Mark said...

Hit the polls at 5:45 and there was a line in my corner of Sub-rural-urbia but it went pretty smooth and IDID VOTE! Click to see my new Knuckletat.

I was dismayed that there was no free beer at the polling place. So, when I got home I went mountain biking to take my mind off beer, which only made me think of more beer. Might have to stop off and get a pint on my home.

Critical Ass said...

What's the sountrack to the OC video? - sounds like Wilco to me.

I think something along the lines of Syd Barrett or Daniel Johnston would be more appropriate.

Anonymous said...

sorry to be so stupid, but what is RTMS?

Bill said...

Why is it that Ant1st always makes me laugh?

leroy said...

I'm all choked up.

That video is beautiful, just beautiful.

The only way to improve would be to run the OC parts in soulful slo-mo.

(Also, who wouldn't like a little more insight into who these riders are?)

In late breaking news, polls show overwhelming support for Opinionated Cyclist's impending initial change from "OC" to "OCD".

Andrew said...

http://img384.imageshack.us/my.php?image=sharkjumpxm5.jpg

fenriz said...

Norway proudly casts one (1) vote for Ralph Nader and The Swiffer. Since my relatives in Lapskaus Bouleward, Brooklyn traditionally opts for whoever has the most Scandinavian ticket; Mondale and Bush (both W. and Rove), the Swiffer fits the bill nicely.

leroy said...

Anon 10:38 AM --

Most folks will you that RTMS stands for Rip Torn's Mug Shot, one BSNYC's signatures.

But I say this is a bike blog that often takes a hard hitting look at the fixed gear phenomena.

I think RTMS really refers to a braking problem: Rubbed Through My Sneakers.

shmaltz herring said...

When I was leaving the mall yesterday, I saw one of those teenage Mormon missionary kids with the white short sleeve dress shirts and the black name tags locking up his fixed gear bike. I don't think he was at the mall to get a tattoo, but I think it is a clear sign that the end is near. Repent sinners!

Mark said...

Hey Andrew, learn some HTML coding will you?

Jump the Shark.

kale said...

RTMS - Really? The Mets Suck?

Product Placement said...

Ride Timetrial Monocoque Specializeds!

Commiecanuk said...

Speaking of knuckle tats on knuckle heads..Joaquin Phoenix is getting in on the act.
BYE!GOOD

GUDR IDNC

This morning on the state-owned CBC, they described the fever in Kenya for Obama, where the people believe Obama being elected US president will fix the all the social issues and economy of Kenya, Africa. Those poor people are as deeply fucked in the head as California.I haven't tasted the Koolaid yet, but I want some, it's sounds like powerful shit.

On the eve of the end of the dumfukistani regime, we will see the start of another liberal cycle of fixing right-wing screwups, until the point of prosperity again, and once again the dumfuks will rise and vote in another Bush.
Of course, this will happen sooner than later, because the chance of some KKK guy taking a shot on B O'B is about equal to the chance of another doper caught at the TDF.

But the tides are changing, I've invested heavily a chain of nationwide gay marriage centres, matched that with short-selling stocks in weapons manufacturers, and will sit back and abuse drugs knowing that the stem cell cure for burnout is in good hands.

So snob, does your poll work directly? or do you read off the votes, then fill out the paper vote by hand?

BTW, I know Swiffer wet mop personally, he's been riding for a few years, and he's a stand up guy. I think after he won the Palin debate, the choice was obvious.

Anonymous said...

"Hit the polls at 5:45..."

You should've slept. Your vote made no difference.

Anonymous said...

John McCain never rode a bike in his life.
John McCain never drank a Duff in his life.

Anonymous said...

So he's a real american?

Anonymous said...

didn't someone lose this the other day?

Garmin thingie-

http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/bik/905335384.html

Anonymous said...

hillary/sarah 2012!

Commiecanuk said...

hey fenriz..wanna buy Iceland? I got it cheap at an auction. I was thinking of putting it on eBay, but the shipping is a pain in the ass.

Smedly Waddington iii said...

"Americans always do the right thing after they've exhausted all other options"

---Winston Churchill

Daddo said...

Snob:

huh? the rest fo us voted and moved on to our daily commitments.
Are you so different, shver arbeiter?

Caaah said...

Very sad that the Suck/Balls ticket was left off the ballot. You get two fleeting (semi)expletives for the price of one vote. Well we'll just have to see what the Supreme Court has to say about the indecency of that!

g said...

While, yes, "you can also vote as many times as you want" very much like the American electoral process (outside of Florida), your vote iwll only count once in the poll. If you really want the swiffer one squirt from the button, you will have to get other ip addresses to participate, it would seem.

leroy said...

Commiecanuck --

You bought Iceland?

Well, okay, I guess you know what you're doing.

But isn't that a bit of a risk?

I mean what with global warming and all, it could melt to nothing before you unload it.

Not like that Bridge I recently purchased connecting Manhattan and Brooklyn.

They even painted a new stripe on the bike path this weekend just for me.

sharpE said...

I made the podium at the polls.
OBAM AWON

Anonymous said...

did you know that there are many US citizens FROM other countries?
origen vs. citizenship

ant1 said...

You mean foreigners can be citizens? That's just wrong.

Anonymous said...

Anon 12:26:

No fucking shit.

Anonymous said...

BS NYC, you puzzle me.
And I did vote. @
http://www.iftheworldcouldvote.com/

Stuggy said...

Anon 9:46:

I second the notion to start the "Full Frontal Frilly Campaign."

Why, just the other night, The Fantastic Four was on TV. There's this scene where Jessica Alba goes invisible on the bridge, and starts taking off her clothing, leaving a wonderfully formed out lacy bra and matching panty just floating there. My mind naturally filled in an imagined Frilly.

Mmmmmm, Frilly in frilly things...

O ' Bama said...

gotcha, suckas

Anonymous said...

I am just happy to see that those who are severely mentally challenged, like the OC, are able to live fulfilling lives.

Camp Cupboard said...

BSNYC, I think it's quite responsible of you not to pick sides, and to just give a sound message of encouragement.


I wish to join you in urging you all to get out and vote.


Unless you're gonna vote McCain, then stay home and stick your head in an oven.

obamanation said...

vote for Obama, for the love of all things holy, vote!!!!!!!!!!!! vote for him, please, save our nation.............ahhhhhhhhhhh

ant1 said...

Which one is obama again?

Anonymous said...

I really wish people would stop paying attention to OC. Maybe then he would go away!

Anonymous said...

RTMS/OP!

Anonymous said...

BSNYC(RTMS)/OC 2016?

Anonymous said...

I like the black one.

AMRcyclist said...

Interesting results on you poll, so far...

Anonymous said...

Whats the capital of Iceland?
About $2.50.

Commiecanuk said...

Ant...Obama is the slightly less white one.

Leroy..yeah, Iceland was pretty cheap after the market crash, thought I'd pick it up take it out back and fix it up, you know..evenings,weekends...but it made a huge mess..water everywhere, I guess they call it Iceland for a reason! I thought it would have a better culture, but Icelandic food is really no big deal. Anyway, I'm trying to sell it now, maybe someone will want it for the kids to play with, school social studies project, that kinda thing. I'll put it on Craigslist:

RARE CUSTOM Nordic Country. Bought it but it doesn't quite fit me, awesome culture, nice geography, customized with racing stripe and "verð og/eða stofna áskrift" (suck my balls) painted on it in Icelandic.
Reasonable trades/sexual favors accepted.
NO WEIRDOS.

Anonymous said...

Ok, I voted:

Out, damned spot! Out I say. One, two; why then, tis time to do't.

Hell is murky.

Thank God for Swiffer.

leroy said...

Commiecanuck --

If you put some fancy bar tape on it, you can sell it for more than you paid.

Just a thought. Seems to be a tradition on Craigslist

Commiecanuk said...

Whoa..it's neck and neck between Palin and Swiffer WetJet. C'mon..no contest, Swiffer sprays liquid when you hit a button, oh wait, ...Palin does that too.
From the Palin/Swiffer debate:
what do you think of scientific research in model system like drosophila fruit flies to study neurological diseases?
Swiffer:
[ ]
Palin:

"Where does a lot of that earmark money end up anyway? […] You’ve heard about some of these pet projects they really don’t make a whole lot of sense and sometimes these dollars go to projects that have little or nothing to do with the public good. Things like fruit fly research in Paris, France. I kid you not."

Anonymous said...

You know if the Swifter and Power Mop had gotten more coverage I would have voted for them in the general election instead of these other clowns.

Damn the mainstream media.

Surly

Anonymous said...

What's the difference between Swiffer Mop and Sarah Palin?

Swiffer Mop cleans floors better.

Martin Van Nostrand said...

# political scandals swiffer tied to:0

Sure, you all want the mess to go away, but who's going to clean it up?

..you?
...YOU?

I thought not.

frilly said...

Commie, I might be interested.What about reindeer?

Stuggy & anon: Flattering but no. That pic is part of the 'private collection'.

Commiecanuk said...

sigh...Frilly, the ad clearly states, "no weirdos".

This just in...

CNN reports voting problems due to water dripping on optical sensors.

Where's your Swiffer now, when you need him hmmm? Maybe you should have though before voting for that irish kid, O'Bama.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Commie,

That's nothing. Tim Robbins can’t vote!!!

--RTMS

frilly said...

Ouch! So much for the negotiations.

Philboy said...

Cmon, Snobby. I want one of those Seal of Disapproval t shirts with whoever on it. I got a lot of lounging to do tomorrow (wednesday) afternoon. Give it up.

kale said...

RTMS

At least it was a rich white guy that was disenfranchised this time.

Stuggy said...

Y'know, Frilly, ya keep makin' me want to move to St. Louis. Better chances of meeting you there than here in Philly. The real deal surely puts the "private collection" to shame...

frilly said...

Snobby, maybe he should have brought the Philly chapter of the black panthers with him.

Andrew said...

Oh snap, that's hilarious AND topical.

fenriz said...

Iceland is populated by our outcasts, they're a Scandinavian Alaska. Sure, how much?

frilly said...

Awww, stuggy, thats so sweet. xxoo.

frilly said...

cc-imminent domain.

Now thats the American way.

Strayhorn said...

Tomorrow, after the Obama ascension, everyone will be waiting for their promised unicorns. However I'd like to trade my unicorn for a set of Mavic R-SYS premiums and a pair of Conti GP4000s. I think that's a fair trade and I don't want to dick around with Ebay, so I offer it up to the RTMS crowd first.

Or a Campy 11-sp gruppo. Whatever. I just don't want that unicorn because I'm allergic to rainbows.

kale said...

Drinking all night and all day tomorrow will be the only unicorn I need.

Andrew said...

Strayhorn: I get to watch the ascension from the comfort of my sister's condo that overlooks Grant Park. I'll tell you if it smells like strawberries and feels like sex as promised by the campaign. Unicorn-dex just doesn't have a good ring to it...

obamanation said...

vote vote vote!!!!!!!!!! Obama Obama Obama!!!!!!!!!! yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

RTMS?
Root Mean Square?
Rub the muscle, silly?
Real Time Meat Scrubbers?
Right, then Motor Straight?

Anonymous said...

O
Brother
A
Masculine
Aardvark

Andy Pandy said...

Hey amazing thing about being half a sphere away. You get to vote and we get a day off to watch a horse race and get plastered. Magpies here are almost fatal, worse than a pace line of recumerants on crack. The cable ties are supposed to scare the mothers off but make you look like Martin the Martian. Cable ties tend to be the domain of the long distance and badly dressed. I did have some eyes stuck on the back of my helmet but little effect.

Digging the OC and he is living the life. Still reckon that he could be a love child of Dylan. Who was playing in the background??? Think the Floyd song for the OC should be the one penned for Syd Barrett “Shine on you crazy diamond “

kale said...

Do all nerdy Americans sound like Bob Dylan to Aussies?

Andy Pandy said...

Yep, if the merkin fit then wear it

streepo said...

Rectangle? Triangle? Maybe Square?

Jonathan said...

hey andypandy,
you get the day off in melburn, here in s(k)ydney we get to mix with the corporates and yell at a tv. still, i did get to drink free beer and eat free sandwiches at my desk. ive got a good boss.

Anonymous said...

RTMS:
Obama / Mcain

Reason To Move Somewhere (else)

Andy Pandy said...

Picked a winner and made a nice little sum. The dilemma is that if I want to up grade to a Record 11 seat post, I will have to put the bundle on McCain at long odds to get over the line. However I think that he will not last the distance and was burnt off by the early pace. Nice jockey on his back, Sarah, whipping his arse to the death but am concerned for her future once she gets dumped and eats donuts until she bloats up she will have to find a new career

frilly said...

AP, according to wikipedia, the eyes on the hat or helmet is mostly effective for pedestrians. Apparently the little bastards are terribly offended by cyclists.
Oh, and Wikipedia said a flag on a long pole is a helpful deterrent for cyclist to use. Hee hee.
If you should ever try this or the ties in the helmet, please, please I beg you to post a picture!
Has one ever swooped you?

drosophila melanogaster said...

Palin, f**k off.

Anonymous said...

Frilly, men are truly and universally dogs, but we all still want to see MORE!

jen in CA said...

Apparently you have sold out. What is it with the Yes on Prop. 8 ad? Haters live on your blog! You and the religious right... partners for life?

frilly said...

anon 7:17, 9:46 & my sweet Stuggy:

Y'know I have a lovely picture featuring the camisole that matches my panties.
Curious to see more? Oh, I understand that sentiment. Y'know, I've often fantasized about what Snobby must look like. I bet he's drop-deda gorgeous.
But, sorta like the cami picture that you all will probably never get to see, I'll probably never get to see my beloved Snobby.
So, hmmm, I guess we're all shit out of luck.

Anonymous said...

actually, felons can vote now... what is the world coming to?

Andy Pandy said...

My steed does not have the appropriate pole attachment points for said flags. Might try a picture of a dazed OC with eye balls on the end of springs on the helmet then.. it would tend to scare almost anything. Have been swooped multiple times and it is not pleasant

Anonymous said...

RTMS: Real Time Monkey Spanker

frilly said...

As scary as OC is, those big ass birds don't look like they would be easily intimidated.
So, did the thing peck you, cuz I read where they go for the eyes. Or did it do the chest bump thing?
AP, I would be remiss if I didn't tell ya I'm a little concerned regarding your sudden admiration of the OC.

red neckerson said...

whats this election shit everbodys talking about

i found something funnyer than shit while driving to day i saw one of them hand driers in a bathroom that someone had made out to say this

push butt
rub hands under arm

i bet canadians dont get it because there too dam stoopid

bikesgonewild said...

...oh ya, red...

...so what, eh ???...

dmitri fofonov said...

I read American political internets and it is looking as many McCain supporters are to leave the country before they are being sent to retraining camps.

I am speaking not for Babushka who likes Obama. You are being guests with me in Astana during your four year exile. We are to ride ancient Silk route on self-awareness journey. When we are to arriving at China (via Siberia) country will be more conservative than your precious United States. Much joy in celebration of irony of growth of capitalist China over socialist America. If my father is Doestoyevki than my mother truly Smirnova (not SMirnof as ignorant Americans put it).

One final word of thanks in mother country's plan to annex Crimea and perhaps all of Ukraine, done without firing shots. It is our desire to truly unite the world. NATO seen as divisive and evil in Russia and Putin is sure he can charm Obama who is himself a very charming man.

Cheap vodka not as pleasant in consumption but is equally effective. Perhaps I finish thought tomorrow, our new era of Russo-American cooperation. Is no reason all countries cannot benefit from oil-for-food- money. Is plenty for everyone.

Cognorant said...

Frilly, Stuggy, Snobby & all the anons, Don't push it man! I don't want to see any more of you guys than your comments.

'Cause, ya know....reality never really measures up. Just sayin.

Red: I've never seen a hand dryer that didn't say "push but, rub hands under arm" & sometimes the bonus "stop auto at ally" I'm willing to put money on the fact that woman reading this are thinking "what the hell?". Cause only guys are dip$&it enough to think that's funny in every bathroom everywhere

Anonymous said...

Song:

I can't keep from talking.

Golden Smog

Anonymous said...

Obama it is!

Ha!

Anonymous said...

OMGOBAMA

AMRcyclist said...

It is like Major Taylor winning the TdF!

And without CERA.

http://amrcycling.blogspot.com/2008/11/america-youve-changed.html

obamanation said...

we did it we did it we are saved..........ahhhhhhhhhhh....yes..........chant with me now....obama.....obama.....obama....we are now in his church.

Anonymous said...

Woke up this morning to discover I'm not married any more. Thanks, voters! AYHSMT (cuz I'm a girl, and don't have balls)

Anonymous said...

YESW EDID

Anonymous said...

MOFR ILLY

Anonymous said...

Yes, it IS time for a CHANGE, and for HOPE, and YES, the FIXIES and CYCLISTS did help lead the WAY . . .

ani said...

That is the worst music video i have ever seen.

Commiecanuk said...

Is the economy fixed yet?
Are the wars over?
affordable health care in place?

Obama is like the stock market about six months ago, flyin' high, all indications it will only get stronger...
Day after, hung over, ...he's still here, he won't get out of the bed...oh god, he wants to go to breakfast and make plans for this weekend...

SEE SOMETHING YOU LIKE? said...

The OBAMA FIXIE was certainly the deciding factor!

Anonymous said...

good one amrcyclist, cheers!

O'bama said...

Payback's a bitch, whitey!

Andrew said...

I can't vote from my iPhone. I'm feeling disenfranchised.

leroy said...

Now, Commiecanuck, you keep that negativity stuff up and I'm gonna organize a sing-a-long of Frank Zappa's Magdalena.

And no Canadian wants that, eh?

rayray said...

umm, yay!

Johnny Sprocket said...

Finally Americans got something right. Took a long time though.

The world is now better off.

ant1 said...

Commie - good luck with that wishlist. my two cents: politicians will never "fix" the economy. Politicians don't even know when it needs fixing, or what type of fix is required. Show me one that saw the stock market bubble as anything other than a good thing while it was happening. The economy is just something they use to get votes. On the wars front, russia is acting up again, and iran will have a nuke unless forced not to (is obama going to start a war in the middle east?), which it will then use to attack israel. At least we will be defending an ally rather than preempting, i guess. And regarding affordable healthcare, if by affordable you mean healthcare where the users have no idea about the real costs, then i'm sure obama will get us there. If by affordable you mean keeping the costs down, i've got some bad news for you. You can't keep everyone alive and comfortable til they get to be 90 affordably, and you don't keep costs in check by distancing the user from the payer. That's my two cents, and before anyone applies their well thought out mccain supporter criticism to me (you know, the retarded brainwashed by fox news backwards redneck crowd), let me just say I did not vote for the man.

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