Firstly, I have news of great importance for any haters out there. Please note that you have been granted a temporary reprieve from ball-sucking, as the beloved "All You Haters Suck My Balls" wheel has officially been unlaced:

While the haters may be relieved, the rest of you are surely as distressed as this wheel is de-stressed. I've been a great fan of this wheel ever since I first laid eyes on it, and it pains me deeply to see the heart quite literally cut out of this once-great rolling statement. However, I've been assured the owner has future plans for the AYHSMB rim, and I am comforted to know that it will one day roll again. So we can all breathe easy--though if you're a hater, your days of unobsructed breathing are surely numbered.

What's going on here?
And with that said, it is my sadistic pleasure to beset you with a quiz. As always, read the question, think carefully, and click on your answer. If you're right, you'll see the item. If you're wrong, you'll see definitive proof of the presta valve's superiority.
Good luck, and as always thanks for reading.
--BSNYC/RTMS

--"If you're buying a bike to ride with a group of friends, pick the same type of bike they have."
--"A fixed-gear bike also requires less cash but you have to stop the bike with your feet rather than using a hand brake."
1) Who said, "I'd rather die pretty than survive with helmet hair"?
--BSNYC
2) The Metal Inquisition blog appreciated the "Metal Rage" alleycat.
--True
--False

3) The above record can be categorized as:
--White
4) Which of the following is not a real piece of advice from an article about knuckle tattoos?
--"If you've got unusually hairy knuckles you might want to think of alternative placement since hair can make knuck tattoos tough to read."
--"If you've got unusually hairy knuckles you might want to think of alternative placement since hair can make knuck tattoos tough to read."
--"It's going to become one of the main features you'll be identified with in society, so make sure you're cool with that."
--"Lettering should always be thought about long and hard, and since lettering is a common knuck tattoo, the display will be front and center and you should make sure the word(s) will last in meaning and significance."
--"You can make a great knuckle tattoo idea look amazing with the right font or lettering choice."
--"Lettering should always be thought about long and hard, and since lettering is a common knuck tattoo, the display will be front and center and you should make sure the word(s) will last in meaning and significance."
--"You can make a great knuckle tattoo idea look amazing with the right font or lettering choice."
5) Knuckle tattoos are the ultimate when it comes to expressing yourself indelibly on your digits.
--True
--False
6) Which of the following is not an actual bike-buying tip from the Washington Post?
--"If you're buying a bike to ride with a group of friends, pick the same type of bike they have."
--"A fixed-gear bike also requires less cash but you have to stop the bike with your feet rather than using a hand brake."
7) BSNYC was recently quoted in which unlikely publication?
8) According to Steve Jobs, what is "the equivalent of a bicycle for our minds"?
***Special Bike Security Bonus Question***

What's going on here?
podium
ReplyDeletepodium again?
ReplyDeletePodium!
ReplyDeleteone off
ReplyDeletelast!!!
ReplyDeletenon-podium!!
ReplyDeleteim not even awake yet
ReplyDeleteDriver 8!
ReplyDeleteffttt!
ReplyDeleteWow the special-junk...I can not really believe anyone would be that stupid.
ReplyDeleteCrap, missed the top 10.
ReplyDeleteIm upset the wheel is dead....
whoa top 20
ReplyDeletedumb quiz
ReplyDeleteGot everything but the last one - even after looking at that photo for several minutes all I could say was WTF?
ReplyDelete1st?!!??!!..
ReplyDelete5/9!
ReplyDeleteI'd rather die ugly than . . . well, crap, it's not going to matter what I wear.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/professorchrisgo/1469965964/in/set-72157603889400820/
Wow, bike producers and porn producers apparently both look for the same thing - giant ones which demonstrate both lateral and tortional stiffness.
ReplyDelete17 magazeeeeeeeen
ReplyDeletei picked up "into darkness" on a whim at chicago's metal haven a few years back, which was probably the only good decision i'd ever made when shopping at metal haven.
ReplyDeleteRelace the AYHSMB wheel and send it with Hincapie to Roubaix next year instead of the HED.
ReplyDeletelooks like someone is going to lose a bike.
ReplyDeleteant1st
ReplyDeleteSo that's what "semi-sarcasm" sounds like? I wonder what full blown BSNYC sarcasm entails?
ReplyDeleteQuill and Quire?!? Canadian publishing reprazent!
ReplyDeleteFall out of bed this morning snobby, or no work today?
ReplyDeletesomeone's already left town for the weekend, eh?
ReplyDeletedon't forget your kippah, mr big shot!
that bike is surely insecure but that seat post doesn't have a quick release...i'm going to have to bring my multi-tool
sack deep
ReplyDeleteant1,
ReplyDeleteHey, it's a quiz--gotta keep people on their toes.
Andrew,
I scrutinized the photo and I'm pretty sure it does have a quick release, though it certainly wouldn't hurt to bring the multi-tool just in case.
--RTMS
Woohoo! A snobby comment! Nice to see you hanging with us plebeians again.
ReplyDeleteant1,
ReplyDeleteAwww, it's all of you who deign to "hang" with me.
--BSNYC
gay4 life
ReplyDeleteI side with the multi-tool fella. I don't see a lever or a screw-type adjuster on either side.
ReplyDeletebsnyc quiz=bicycle for the brain
ReplyDeleteshabbat shalom!
how about a response to NY State
ReplyDeleteSenator Jeff Klein and his attitude
towards NYC cyclists?
http://noimpactman.typepad.com
homo homo
ReplyDeleteIf the Specialized is indeed filled with killer bees (nice), they'll still lose the bike, but it will go to caller #2
ReplyDeletethanks for playing
definitely a quick release. that is clearly a lever.
ReplyDeleteInteresting how girls on bikes in NYC never have real jobs.
ReplyDeleteison nedu
ReplyDeletesonn edya
ReplyDeletequik relz
ReplyDelete#1po dium
ReplyDeletewow, i laughed uproariously at that specialized bike. that's one of the funniest things ever to appear on this site.
ReplyDeleteWhat ever happened to that nerd of a senior network admin guy who wore a pocket protector in his profile photo?
ReplyDeleteCool...I didn't know they could do toe knuckle tats. I can even spell my name on my toes since it has eleven letters.
ReplyDeleteAaarrgh! Only two right.
ReplyDeleteBut the great thing about that parrot video is that the tube is filled with helium.
Polly will be speaking in one of those hilarious high pitched voices.
The Special Ed would be a lot cooler if it was filled with killer beers.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.outlookskates.com/KillerBeerLogo.jpg
Prolly will be speaking in one of those hilarious high pitched voices.
ReplyDeleteProlly will be speaking in one of those hilarious high pitched voices.
ReplyDeleteProlly will be speaking in one of those hilarious high pitched voices.
ReplyDeleteProlly will be speaking in one of those hilarious high pitched voices.
ReplyDeletespes hued
ReplyDeleteSo my namesake Eddy limits production to 6,000 bikes a year, as scarce as Ferraris. All you haters can, in fact, suck my balls.
ReplyDeleteSigned, an older, more affluent rider a/k/a Wishiwasmerckx
PLZ Tell me that the AYHCSMB rim is going to be laced to a powertap hub?!?
ReplyDelete"If you're buying a bike to ride with a group of friends, pick the same type of bike they have."
ReplyDeleteWhat kind of vague bullshit is that? I would have had a perfect score if it weren't for that gem of journalistic pablum.
To the person who wants to send that wheel to Hincapie for Roubaix--BRILLIANT!!!
ReplyDeleteThats the best laugh I've had on here in awhile. Sorry, snobby, but hey good to have you back. I missed you.
A Shabes-Goy Pit-Parrot for Saturday Cyclocross Races! That's one way to get the pressure dialed on your Dugasts ...
ReplyDeleteIs that the parrot that let all but 30 psi of air out of the metal race tires?
ReplyDeleteSorry streepo, I'm last. As usual.
ReplyDeleteCyclocross bikes are the new singlespeed which were the new fixed gear.
ReplyDeleteI did very very poorly on todays quiz. I will hang my head in shame until I get chance to redeem myself on next weeks quiz. Judging by the quote on CNBC it think its safe to say that BSNYC is not Jewish but Some sort of Lord, Count, or Baron.
ReplyDeleteThe last photo is obviously taken of a Jehova's Witness' Specialized. They are forbidden to use pad locks, but instead rely on the faith of Jehova and the brutal beatings of bike thieves with stacks of Watchtower brochures.
ReplyDeleteAll you non-believers can suck Jehova's balls.
Cyclocross WAS the new singlespeed, but it was usurped by singlespeed cyclocross bikes. I was into singlespeeds in the SEVENTIES, three-wheeled singlespeeds to be exact, and back then like now, brakes were for pussies, ..or girls, who, of course, ...had cooties.
Nice bike commie. Did you just trail bags of ketchup flavored Lays behind you to stop?
ReplyDeleteYou need you eyes checked, people -- that is most certainly a QR seat binder.
ReplyDeleteQ) What's the worst part of being the only person to notice that the holder of the AYHCSMB wheel has it strategically positioned to perfectly frame his formerly frequently-sucked balls?
ReplyDeleteA) telling my wife I'm gay.
not that there's anything wrong with that, of course.
ReplyDeleteThe "killer bees" conjured up quite an image.
ReplyDelete"Hah, this bike deserves to be stolen, just a quick pull OH GOD BEES THE PAIN MAKE IT STOP"
bees hurt
ReplyDeleteImmodium!
ReplyDeleteAll you suckers hate my balls
ReplyDeleteWinter IS Alterna-sludge w/a twist of Klezmer!! It's all about the diminished fifth...
ReplyDeleteA
BSNYC - Why not find the haters something else to do, or at least suck?
ReplyDeleteI'm, picturing Arrested Development right now:
ReplyDeletePrison Guard: "No bees!"
Gob: "No bees!"
All you ballers suck my hate.
ReplyDeleteMr. Zinn said my Stans tires were burping air? Nope. It's the f'ing parrots.
ReplyDeletesuck all balls my haters you
ReplyDeleteBOYZ 2MEN
ReplyDeletemmmm, suck you will my balls haters
ReplyDeleteballs my suck haters you all
ReplyDeleteThat KC Urban Cyclist Project thing sure is prententious.
ReplyDeleteDeath To Video Drome!!!
ReplyDeleteLong Live The New Flesh
-max renn
Katie Kilby has great legs!
ReplyDeletedoes that mean he hates the haters ?
ReplyDeletethen does that mean he does what he says ???
does that mean he hates the haters ?
ReplyDeletethen does that mean he does what he says ???
immo dium
ReplyDeletekaop ect8
I see this wheel attached to the Americans genital area.
ReplyDeleteIt must for him be driving nuts.
I've been hosed. My dentist rollerblades.
ReplyDeleteDeath to the Velodrome
ReplyDeleteWith all this dirty talk about the Austin AYHSMB picture, I have added the proper effect
ReplyDeleteNone Me Lovers Blow Your Cubes
ReplyDeleteBikesnob is English Royalty? That's fantastic, we probably know each other. See you at Ascot!
ReplyDeleteCA
ReplyDeletenice raleigh, is it on OTSG.com.
here is a question for you... who did Lance Armstrong recently ride with? A) Dave Chappelle B) MASH Crew C) Team Dentist/Serrotta or D) BSNYC?
ReplyDeleteGood luck!
the parrot would just snip a presta right off
ReplyDelete333 - D?
ReplyDelete333 - The answer is B, the Mash crew.
ReplyDeleteIf anybody is interested, the video is on their newly remodeled site. Along with the video, they added links to their favorite sites, and I found it interesting the They include BSNYC as one of their links.
correct-o-mundo.
ReplyDeletethat's because unlike BSNYC's readers, the MASH guys are actually pretty open minded.
ReplyDeletelike i got tired of seeing that fucking shit parrot suck off a bike valve
ReplyDeletethat's because unlike BSNYC's readers, the MASH guys are actually pretty open minded.
ReplyDeleteMaybe this is a stupid question, but aren't YOU a BSNYC reader?
No offense BSNYC, but these comments are almost as funny as your posts these days. Watch out.
ReplyDeleteluvp roly
ReplyDeleteThe banner across the top of the last issue of Velonews is "Lance shoots for eight tour win". when I first pulled it out of my mailbox and looked at it quickly I thought it said "Lance shoots up for eight tour win". Dyslexia can be fun sometimes.
ReplyDeleteThat's actually the corect way to lock a Specialized, once you realise just what a POS you just bought and how much you have it insured for...
ReplyDeletefirst
ReplyDeleteStreepo, dyslexia? Snobbie's Rabbi is dyslexic. He goes around saying "yo" all the time.
ReplyDeletei heard B.J. Hunnicut dropped Lance as well.
ReplyDeleteParrot fellatio turns me on
ReplyDeletewow that last question with the lock made me burst out loud with laughter. good job bsny, or bad job if it is your boyfriends bike...
ReplyDeleteAfter you deduct the podiumists, the knuckle-tat suggestions, the inane repeaters and the insane, BSNYC has like eight actual comments.
ReplyDeleteI can't believe how NICE No Impact Man was to his congersman! I guess you catch more flies with honey than with U-locks.
Last time I checked, the market value on aluminum drops that have been cut up with a hacksaw was $0.00 Pretty impressed by the amount of detail, though.
ReplyDeletehttp://denver.craigslist.org/bik/847841423.html
"KILL RBEE"
ReplyDeletetell me where you saw that *security question* bike -- if it's not filled with bees now, it certainly could be for a nominal fee. ;)
ReplyDelete...not to disparage anyone's remarks but honey ???...honey attracts ants...
ReplyDelete...if it's flies yer lookin' for, nothing works better than crap...
...just observing & no flies on bsnyc/rtms...
snow hite
ReplyDeleteHaiku is easy
ReplyDeleteIt doesn't have to make sense
Suck and Hate My Balls
Check out the bars on this baby
ReplyDeleteurin ater
ReplyDeleteMEGA YGUY
ReplyDeleteMetal
ReplyDeleteCulture
Hmmm. And those metalheads on that Inquisition site make disparaging comments about attempted irony. I was a bit surprised at the competently used punctuation and evidence of the use of several shift keys on that blog and in the comments. I suppose that's encouraging. I dunno, maybe it's just ironic.
Notice that all of the cut spokes on the AOYHCSMB wheel are pointing to the proposed area of suckage.
ReplyDeleteWhere did you see that specialized bike locked up?
ReplyDeleteI have a bee keeper's outfit and would love a new mountain bike...