Thursday, May 8, 2008

Yoink! Another Fixed-Gear Vanished

Some of you may remember the plight of Michael Green of Bikeblog, who fell victim to the old "let me see your bike real quick" fixed-gear flim-flam.  At the time, Michael received a bit of a drubbing from the sorts of people who fancy themselves to be street-smart and who wrongly think such a thing could never happen to them.  As I said at the time, the fact is that bike theft can happen to anybody.  Even a celebrity.

Indeed, I recently learned that a certain Tour de France champion has been separated from his fixed-gear bicycle.  Here is his story in his own words:

I'm in shock.  Someone just stole my track bike and I let them do it.  After winning the Tour de France three times (and then virtually winning it like five more times, which makes eight Tour wins total, which is the best ever) I fell victim to a scam.  I rode my bike to an upscale cheese shop which gives you a 25% discount on Gouda if you ride a bike when I was approached by a caucasian man of about 5'10" wearing a yellow Nike shirt, a pair of cutoff jean-shorts, and a giant foam novelty cowboy hat.  He was fit.  He asked me where he could get a bike like mine and wanted to lift it to see how heavy it was.  He said he was a runner but that he wanted to try cycling.  I knew I should SAY NO! but for some dumb ass reason I let him try it.  He got on the bike and rode around the block three times and on the third pass he popped a wheelie and waved that giant foam novelty cowboy hat in the air and shouted "Yeee-haw!!!" real loud and rode away.  He was a fast bike rider for a runner.  WHY WHY WHY did I let down my guard.

Here is a picture of my bike.  It has my name on the downtube and the seat tube and everything.  I feel like a total schmuck.  Please help me get it back.  Any information will help.


Sure, I know what you're thinking.  You're thinking he brought this on himself.  You're also probably thinking the bike must be long gone by now, and that it's almost certainly been resprayed and changed around.  Well, it's definitely been resprayed, but I think I've got a bead on it.  Look what I just saw on Fixedgeargallery:

Yo Dennis,

Peep my bitchin' new fixie.  It's a TREK.  More matte black than a Black guy named Matt.  Moustache bars so moustachey I got Sam Elliott clockin' my sh*t.  Look out for me tearing it up on the streets of Austin.  She runs a brake right now but I plan to lose that like GL lost the Tour in '91.

Peace,

Mellow Johnny


(Picture from Bikeradar)

Now I don't know who this guy is, but judging by his sobriquet and his penchant for street vernacular I'm pretty sure he's some kind of weed dealer.  I'm also pretty sure that's our victim's frame under that new finish.  Though if it is it looks like "Johnny" may have at least ground off the braze-ons.

If you'll allow me to get personal for a moment, I'd just like to share that while I may have a reputation for being bitter and cantankerous, I'm actually a very compassionate person.  So after Michael Green's bike was stolen I passed many a sleepless night.  (By "sleepless" I mean I was only able to sleep eight hours as opposed to my usual ten and half.)  Indeed, I often found myself tossing and turning for minutes on end, haunted by the image of that green Aerospoke cowering in the corner of some thieves' den as it longed for its daddy, like Mel Gibson's son in the movie "Ransom."  To my knowledge, Michael never did get his bike back, and I'm tortured by that fact to this very day.

But now I have a chance for redemption.  This time, there are leads.  And while I can't promise our theft victim his bike back, I can promise him one thing.  I'll look into it when I get around to it.  Maybe.

By the way, please note that there will be no post tomorrow (Friday) as I will be engaged in matters of import, but I will report back duly on Monday, May 12th.


157 comments:

Anonymous said...

I almost went for the Pass/Fail.

First!

Anonymous said...

and a second!

Anonymous said...

and a third!

Three podium places in one race.

A first.

H

Anonymous said...

points & money!

abelgus said...

OUCH!!!

Anonymous said...

BSNYC/RTMS,
What is the maximum acceptable stack height for a threadless stem set-up?

Pascii said...

Top ten!
barf

smartypants said...

Best RTMS evAr!

the new guy said...

another Top ten finish from the new guy!

abelgus said...

I stacked four or five stems up, but they just kept falling over, so I dunno.

But i did learn that Mellow Johnny is Anglicized Maillot Jeune - so there you go.

singletronic said...

Seriously, the only thing that is certain is the lemond will be too damn long for the runner anyhow. The jokes on him!

Jonathan said...

dirty dozen!!

LoRoK said...

This has got to be the worst post you've ever made. Was this whole thing some lame ad for that bike shop? An excuse to post the link? Lame.

Cottered Crank said...

Loroks are noted for their dry wit. Imposter, I say!

Dave Pickett said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
BikeSnobNYC said...

LoRoK,

I'm honestly surprised by your adverse reaction, but I am confident that if you go through the archives you'll find much worse.

--BSNYC

Commiecanuk said...

"WHY WHY WHY did I let down my guard."

Sigh, not the first time Greg has said this, the first time was that guy in the giant foam mustache who said he was a boring, married, suburban, white guy who said he wanted to give molestation a try. But who among us has not fallen for that?

All hail Lorok, king of the mole people.
Lorok thinks you are a WEAKLING.

Anonymous said...

Snob, I am confused, I thought Yom HaAtzma'ut was today, not tommorrow.

Dave Pickett said...

Hhahaha Lrok,

Take a chill pill amigo. This is what we come to this site for. BSNYC, please continue with your sweet nothings.

Pete said...

Yea LoRok you stupid dummy it was a real expensive cheese shop he was trying to advertise in this stupid ass terrible post!

cutty said...

"matters of import" = snob prepping for the bear mountain road race. KUDOS!

uglyyeti said...

Mellow Johnny's is obviously going to be a massive Trek dealer. Any coincidence that Trek dumped Lemond a few weeks prior to the opening? I just can't imagine that Lemonds hanging on the wall at Mellow Johnny's was ever part of the plan. Timing seemed to work out amazingly well.

Pappy said...

Armstrong steals Lemonde's bike and presents it as a retro Trek, jive talkin' all the way: Snob you're back in a fun funny way!

Good luck at Bear Mountain RR.

uglyyeti said...

BSNYC, thank you for providing an outlet free from all the hyper-defensive Greg Lemond man-love that oozes from the pages of drunkcyclist.com.

AnnaZed said...

Commiecanuk, I don't know, I assumed that some jackass would go there, but I didn't think it would be you.

Sigh ... I'm just sayin'.

Anonymous said...

'...matters of import."

What could be more important than BSNYC/RTMS's on-going assault on this nation's GNP? A few less posts and the recession would be over.

Perhaps Bernanke got to you?

LoRoK

Cheese is the national food of Cyclostan.

Anonymous said...

BSNYC/RTMS

Do you really need all day Friday to fly to Austin?

erik k said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

erik k

The link doesn't work.

Toxteth O'Grady said...

Matthew Mc"Slim Pickins" - the bike thief?

Where is the brake lever on the black bike?...new trend - pinching the calipers manually with your fingers rather than a pesky lever and cable.

Jim said...

Elaine: Matters of Import? You mean, Import and Export?

George: Nope. Just import.

Elaine: That's weird.

LoRoK said...

BSNYC, I would like to apologize for my earlier comment. While I still stand by the sentiment 100%, what I would have rather said is this: "Dear Bikesnob, I look forward to reading your posts every day and find them full of fresh, witty and spot-on sarcastic observations about the "cycling community." However, this morning, it seems like rather than create another genuine and entertaining post, you paraphrased a post from a few days back to link to a new bike store. So, thanks for the (I'm sure) thankless job of creating something interesting and funny to read every day; but today you really suck balls.

Jim said...

There you have it. The Mightly LoRock, King of the Hill People, has spoken. Do not mock his words! Do not trifle with his pronouncement! His mercy is finite, but his vengeance is so plentiful you can get it at Costco, in inexpensive 5 gallon buckets. His words to his people:

BSNYC, at least today, *really sucks balls.*

So it was written, so let it be done!

BikeSnobNYC said...

LoRoK,

Your first comment was more succinct. Look on the bright side though--at least my posts are free! (Though maybe I should start charging for comments. You might have re-thought that second one.)

Hang in there--you're bound to enjoy some other post down the line.

--BSNYC

erik k said...

(round 2!)imports, could that have anything to do with action figures

BikeSnobNYC said...

Erik K,

I swear, it's like looking into a mirror! (Well, a two-way mirror with a pilgrim on acid on the other side, but still.)

--BSNYC

Anonymous said...

Oh that is great satire. Funny as hell.
So what's the deal-e-o, Snobby? You have commencment exercises tomorrow? Just think, in another day you'll graduate and be un-employed.

jeremy said...

Mellow Johnny's features a dumb waiter, showers and a locker room, a coffee bar and art-bikes... Keep Austin Weird!

Anonymous said...

Eric K,
You have talent and a clever imagination...its like you take Snob's words and illustrate them.
What a team.
What a great time we live in.

Anonymous said...

Re: "I'm pretty sure he's some kind of weed dealer"
...belongs on a Wednesday post!

marvo larvo said...

DNF

erik k said...

anon 12:18 it keeps me busy, and with snob taking the day off tomorrow I might actually get some real work done... I shudder to think

Jim said...

Mellow Johnny's features a dumb waiter,

A dumb waiter? Is that the next link up the evolutionary chain from "stupid, sullen barista"?

wishiwasmerckx said...

I saw the Snob at the finish line of last year's Bear Mountain RR. There was this snail on the pavement next to him. He stomped on it. I shot him a curious look, and he explained "That fucker was following me the whole damn race."

Ti( * )( * )ies said...

I just spent 10 minutes combing the bear mountain road race 2007 results list in search Brooklinians with names befitting BSNYC. Asuming this is a yearly thing for BSNYC.

My short list.

#10 Rashad Guerra CRCA/Affinity Cycles Brooklyn (too ethnic sounding and way too high in the pack)

#22 Rufus Pichler Kissena Cycling Club Brooklyn (Name sounds good, but still too strong a finish)

#44 Christopher Chaput CRCA/Affinity Cycles Brooklyn
#45 Brett Cleaver CRCA/NY Sketches Brooklyn
(stong contenders each)

#53 Keith Snyder Kissena Cycling Club Brooklyn

For now my gut tells me if BSNYC placed in the men's 3 race last year that he is either Keith or Brett.

Anonymous said...

lorax, why don't you post tomorrow? You sound like you are funny. And interesting. i guess.

Anonymous said...

Dear titties, I have come to a different conclusion. After months of combing through clues, I have concluded that the Snob is actually the counter guy who served me my kraut dog at Gray's Papaya today at lunch.

Anonymous said...

Really? Cause did you see "Dancing with the Stars" on Tuesday night? The guy dancing next to Mario Lopez in the "Chorus Line" number was a dead ringer for the Snob.

O'Claire said...

C'mon, keep up with the times. The prefered term is "mute".

I'm pretty sure that if a player rolls an 18 or 19, he encounters an angry Lorok. They have a three part attack: claw, claw, bite. So, there's probably one more coming.

Commiecanuk said...

Annazed, that was not my decision, that was Greg Lemond's call. when I read interviews with Lemond, I want to read about cycling.

However, Greg insists on talking to the world about his fucked up personal life over and over, and he's not afraid to exploit his family's lives for this either. In a recent issue of Procycling, they allowed Lemond to edit the issue, and he goes on for PAGES about his affair with another woman and major problems he's having with his oldest son. Really personal shit that we should not know nor do we want to know. This guy is a nut job, and Trek just figured this out.

When someone makes the decision to be a self-absorbed, attention seeking,celebrity twat, then they get what they deserve.

Fuck'em, if they can't take a joke.

Ti( * )( * )ies said...

Minutes of work....wasted. Was it that he spit on your dog when he saw the lime green deep-v's you were rockin, that tipped you off?

AnnaZed said...

Commiecanuk, I know it's true. Lord knows that poor Greg is insane. The public spectacle of it all is mindblowing as well. Why won't someone just tell him to "shut up?" - I mean someone he might listen to.

Still, the abuse deal is a tad touchy.

In other news, did I miss Erik K's link to genius today, can't find it.

Anonymous said...

Titties, could be, but I thought it was my Burberry plaid top-tube pad which set him off.
Anon 12:39

Anonymous said...

tittays, none of those last names in the bear mountain placings are jewish. keep scouring.

Anonymous said...

I understand when Lemond's legal team goes after Trek, there will be lot's of dirt dug concerning Armstrong. You can hear the lawyers tapping out figures on their adding machines right now.

Anonymous said...

also snob would never wear that ny sketches kit. GROSS.

Commiecanuk said...

Jim...please don't use the term "barista", it conjures up images of rebel troops in South America risking their lives in the hot jungle for the freedom of their people, ...as opposed to a guy named "Todd" in the 9th year of his dissertation on lesbian sheep who can read the expresso machine manual in English or medieval Italian.

Lorok has spoken, do not question the words of Lorok, thou suckest balls.

AnnaZed said...

Wait, guys what is this bike this dude is sitting on exactly?:

http://tinyurl.com/52n5u7

erik k said...

annazed... i posted it at 12:07

Anonymous said...

This post has been removed by the author.

AnnaZed said...

Tee Hee Erik, I love particularly that RTMS appears to be a black woman who resembles this woman:

http://tinyurl.com/223wnc

I want that doll!

bikesgonewild said...

...i have it on authority that when racing for a personal best, rtms/bsnyc registers as tommy simpson which somehow seems appropriate, given his results...


...& speaking of names, natural titties usually look like this, (.)(.) or unfortunately this, V V, but not this, (*)(*)...yer version is suspect-fully perky...grammatical bOOb job perhaps ???...

...just sayin'...

Oscar Zeta Acosta said...

Come on you bunch of hacks... Lothar was the king of the hill people. LoRoK is some 22 year old stoner who works at Kinkos...

And Lemond is a kook, but the dude was molested by his uncle when he was a kid. That shit just ain't funny anyway you slice it, especially from some no good poutine eating hoser with Marxist/Leninist leanings...

Anonymous said...

Flomax, Dammit, my name is Flomax.

leroy said...

Dear BSNYC --

Hmmmm. Interesting. But the culprit wasn't Lance. He has an alibi. He was in N.Y., not Austin.

Lance sent a nice picture by e-mail to Fat Cyclist earlier this week and the background was clearly Central Park from a CPS balcony.

Besides, it doesn't add up. Why would someone as nice as Lance do something like that? Or get caught?

Dear Ti(*)(*)ies --

You can't eliminate the possibility that Bike Snob is Jason Castro. Having just gotten booted from American Idol, he is probably taking Friday off.

(Quick, ask BSNYC if he knows the lyrics to "Tambourine Man" and see what happens. Go ahead.)

To quote other fellow commentators, "just sayin'."

Commiecanuk said...

bikesgonewild said...
...& speaking of names, natural titties usually look like this, (.)(.) or unfortunately this, V V, but not this, (*)(*)...


I think Ti( * )( * )ies is just Ti( . )( . )ies lying down.

He could use Tes( )( )cles , or in the 7-time TDF version, Tes( )(X)cles

bikesgonewild said...

...hmmm...i thought jason castro was infirm-ed & his brother raul 'bOb' castro had taken over latin american idol...

...but i'm not really one for current world events since they built that wall in berlin...oh, really ???...& david haselhoff helped bring that down, you say ???...now, that guy's an all-american idol, right ???...

Anonymous said...

http://www.lotharandthehandpeople.com/

Anonymous said...

haha brakes

Anonymous said...

Erik K, when I realized that was yesterdays picture recycled I cried. Its Embarrassing to cry in the cubicle, heads start popping up like ground squirrel's. So I politely request a pic of snob doing a wheelie in the cowboy hat had flippin greg the bird

Anonymous said...

Timer Cheese

Anonymous said...

ahem.

Anonymous said...

Change of subject, pie plate flashbacks, my god it has four of them. http://bp0.blogger.com/_ZU5YIbowhZU/SAU66A3dJAI/AAAAAAAAAWo/BPIpbcr-Wag/s1600-h/IMG_1030_2.JPG

bikesgonewild said...

...commiecanuk...TdF version (xo) begs the question "is the mussette half full or half empty" & i think that was answered septasequentially (hey, i'll make up my own words as i see fit, pal) by the ballsy mr armstrong...

...(as a serious aside for a moment: i haven't read the procycling article but i would venture to say that if greg's unfortunate early past has created his present psychological need to unburden himself publicly, then perhaps a little empathy might go a long way...
...lest we forget, at one point in his career it drove him to greatness...
...that said, his unsubstantiated attacks on lance in particular only serve to muddy the publics perception of cycling & greg's own accomplishments...
...our euro cycling heroes of the past have grown old w/ a certain dignity, but the two 'greatest' (read: most accomplished) american cycling heroes are devolving into litigious buffoonery...
...how very "american"...
...i'd suggest that both men back down, stop ruffling each others 'old hen's feathers' & simply go on supporting their own worthwhile altruistic causes...
...but hey, enough a' my seriousness for the day)...

...& now, back to our regularly scheduled programming...

dopepedaler said...

slowing...slowing....braking....crashing.

Ti( * )( * )ies said...

Dear BGW -

My favorite way to observe them in the wild is a pair at the peak of a jumping jack. I tried to recreate this magical moment for you all to share.

Thanks for the suggestions on Snob's true identity I hadn't considered the Jew factor in the name but I suppose he could have married and converted leaving him with a gentile last name.

Anonymous said...

Lemond clearly does not keep up with these comments or he would have learned the valuable "I got mine at Fuck You" line.

smartypants said...

BGW 3:11:

I think you meant "bally" - not "ballsy."

Commiecanuk said...

Greg is bitter.

He was pissed that he was the fastest man on a bike, then all of a sudden he could not keep up with the climbers. This timing was coincident with the availability of EPO. Doctors even incorrectly diagnosed him with a muscle disease. I think common sense substantiated his attacks on Armstrong, he's saying truths people don't want to hear. He's always done this, revealing team politics with Hinault to the world.

That's fine and I thank him for it, but the rest of his personal life needs to stay personal.

The sad thing is how quickly US cycling fans have dumped him in favor of various ex-US Postal sleazeballs. I guess it's really easier to just cheer for whoever is winning.

Lorok, we need more fodder.

bikesgonewild said...

...ti(*)(*)ies, you may be a sexist bastard...but i 'firmly support' the weight of everything being tossed about here & now when i see yer name, i will have that lofty imagery in my mind...

...smartypants, like a man in a pair of lob sided bibshorts, i stand corrected...

...& commiecanuk...like you, i just hate to see everyone publicly airing their dirty laundry...too many yellow stains on those jerseys whether the truth can be seen or not...

erik k said...

anon 2:21 I have to admit this one a bit of a stretch but you asked for it, and plus since you were so sad heres a special limited edition clyostan defense forces: heroic goose bike

sanjay said...

Isn't that the same hat Homer used to get incriminating video evidence on Apu Nahasasimapetalon at the Quikie Mart?

Anonymous said...

"especially from some no good poutine eating hoser with Marxist/Leninist leanings..."
wow! well said for a billo/rush listening, empire-building, bomb the fuck outta countries who's U.S. backed dictator has become inconvenient prick.....phew! gotta catch my breath......

Anonymous said...

Thanks Erik k, I think I will build that bike and post it on fgg

- anon 2:21

Jim said...

the term "barista", it conjures up images of rebel troops in South America risking their lives in the hot jungle for the freedom of their people

Agreed, but what do the Contras have to do with it?

Anonymous said...

Greatest blog and comments in tha' world.



A

Anonymous said...

when i was younger this kid asked me if he could borrow my bike to go to the store and he was one of those popular dickhead kids, so i said sure (mind you im at the park with my grandfather and brother and its a fuckin purple gt dyno) - so hours go by and this kid hasnt come back yet - instead of tellin my grandfather i just keep my mouth shut and play handball till my hands bleed FINALLY this fuckin kid shows up surprised to see me, i guess thinking i wouldve been gone and he could just chill at the park with my bike - so he gives me my bike back and we finally leave.....but i gave him $1 to get me chips from the store and he never did....fuckin jerk

Anonymous said...

Anon 7:01, if you are trying to compete with Lemond for the most pitiable childhood trauma story, I suggest that you have a long, long way to go.

Mark said...

Lorok
Speaking of sucking balls, might I offer you a Tic Tac?

Anonymous said...

I know who it is,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJ9BMKCvcSk

Cottered Crank said...

Doesn't "Mellow Johnny's" sound like one those brands the tobacco companies have trademarked so's they aren't left behind on that happy day when cannabis is legalized? Could this have any connection to those ads we see with Lance endorsing the "live better through chemical supplements" product line?

Andy Pandy said...

I'm suffering Mellow Yellow/Johhny flashbacks and they aint the good ones. And did Greg say fiddlesticks after his steed was absconded with. And according to his latest interview ho hum, he is the happiest of dudes. Jolly good I say, especially given that Yosemite Sam pinched his bike ( and company as well)

Eric Cartman said...

You (*(&^%^%^&^*^%$@ arse wipes are stealing my lines. So respect mah authority and hurry up and suck my balls

SkidMark said...

Re. how best to represent nipples, I agree with commiecanuk that (.)(.) seems best. The asterisk is better suited elsewhere: ( * )

Andy Pandy said...

I think Greg is using the world press as a virtual confessional in hope that someone else ????? may like to follow suit.

GL… “Six no trumps". Nudge nudge wink wink

LA “….. erh pass”

Rob said...

Good job. I think that cowboy read my book. I'll be giving a lecture during bike month...check it out at bikeblog.blogspot.com

bikesgonewild said...

...sheesh, skidmark...i'm not tryin' to be an ( * ) here but those lovely realistic b(.)(.)b's belong to me...hmmm, wait, lets just say i suggested they might grammatically hang together better...

AnnaZed said...

Alrighty then, so the big cat's away for the weekend and the mice are going to go batshit crazy - not the cat ever does anything about it anyway - but still.

Paging Judi.

I'm just sayin'.

Anonymous said...

(.Y.)

smartypants said...

Bike Snob N. Y. C.
I wrote this haiku just for you.
And now, it is done.

. . .

I'm just sayin'.

wishiwasmerckx said...

So we're all jonseing for a fix. Why couldn't he have one of the imposter authors you guys insist that he uses from time to time fill in for today?

Commiecanuk( )*( ) said...

OOOooo...like a guest host on Johnny Carson.

Johnny:"ahhh..ya know , I was talking to my nephew,ahh...he's a bike messenger. Ya know what they ahh..difference is between a bike messenger and a municipal bond?

Ed: no sir!

Johnny: well..ahahaha...municipal bonds eventually mature and make money.

Doc: Ba-bump

Ed: har..har ..har!

Da dum da da-da, da dum da-daaa!

Commiecanuk( )*( ) said...

Who among us can take on the role as Joan Rivers? These are big virtual shows to fill.

Irate Aussie said...

Get a car, you tightarses!

plum said...

Based on the description of the suspect, Greg's bike was obviously stolen by Lloyd Christmas.

Anonymous said...

Stupid putz drivers and responses to same...

http://teamjudson.com/northshore/index.htm

leroy said...

Podium!!!! Yes!!!!

Oh wait. Er, excuse me.

Never mind.

Boy is my face red.

Anonymous said...

I was roaring with laughter after this one

amir said...

amir is #1!!!!!

(at least on the podium in your heart, I hope)

Cottered Crank said...

I have a floor pump and a couple of rolls of duct tape that I'd happily donate to the Australian judicial system. Free shipping!

Shankerz said...

Introducing, Calvin Klein's new line of Track Bikes!

http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=28kpx1l&s=3

http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=mrg6fm&s=3

Anonymous said...

cottered crank,

We could use the pump and tape in Chicago, the law moves too slowly..

"The driver accused of running a red light and killing a cyclist last week is unlikely to face sanction beyond a driving citation. Coincidentally, a bill is before the state House to increase penalties for drivers whose recklessness kills cyclists, pedestrians or motorcyclists. The Vulnerable Users Bill already passed the state Senate 54-0 but must pass the House by Friday. The CBF has more information, and here’s how you can contact your state representative."

wishiwasmerckx said...

Does this remind anyone else of the end of "The Great Gatsby," where cars continue to show up in the driveway, oblivious to the recent inconvience of the host?

Anonymous said...

ohh I miss snobby. comments about b(.)(.)ies and (*)sses just arn't gonna cut it. maybee we can track down bike snob chicago or that autosnob program some bored kid made?

... just sayin

Baron Daguerre said...

Well, myself I prefer them a little fuller. More like this; ( . )( . ) than this; (.)(.)

And being kind of round, they do work better in b( . )( . )bs than in ti( . )( . )ies.

chinese bootleg BSNYC said...

I look in Claigsrist, I find funny ads by stupid people. I very, very bitter!

rook at this

Rook like sick dog with wheels for legs. HA!

rook at this

Rook like put pie plates on retro bike..very stupid. Ha! you laugh now!

Buy stickers with much cheapness!

Anonymous said...

k so to clarify I said I missed bike snob, not blatant racism

anon 1:16

Moore's Law said...

I kinda like the racism. Reminds me of my grandparents. Racism, alcoholism, abuse... Those were the days. America just isn't the same now that we can't generalize and make fun. Uncle Al was cheap. Like a JEW!.

HA!

bikesgonewild said...

...i would consider this time period to be but a brief excursion into defining the nomenclature of anatomically grammatical usage for future reference here at the rtms/bsnyc site...

...& agreeably, while not worthy of a separate post or much more invested time for that matter, this "artistic" foray has given us the opportunity to transcend those goofy little sideways smiley or frowny faces...
...i've only made one of those in my life & afterwards, i felt the need to purge my keyboard...

Commiecanuk said...

I agree with anon 1:16, implying that a Chinese person has an accent is racist, it's like implying African Americans have darker skin tones and Mexicans make good food.

Thank god America got over all this and allowed the Irish to ride bikes in 2003.

Frankly, sideways smileys creep me out, like when you talk to someone and they end a sentence with a wink -see a neurologist already.

Anonymous said...

who knew racism could be so hilarious?

Anonymous said...

Ah cyclist conversations. Without someone to lead off it's all tits and and ass and stupid jokes and everyone is a schmuck.

bikesgonewild said...

...anon 2:59pm...ya, & that's just the chicks before the guys clip in...then it gets nasty...

Anonymous said...

Commiecanuk,

I'm with you...a wink is sexy & fun, there is nothing sexy or fun about a semi-colon.

BGW,

You have no idea how naughty the talk can be when its just the chicks.

Commiecanuk said...

oh yes we do..we know exactly what they talk about when together behind closed doors stripped down to frilly underwear and having pillow fights.

Believe me, a LOT of thought is put into that.

Sycophantic Backstabber said...

Thank you Chinese bootleg BSNYC and Commiecanuk.

That being said, where the ruck is my bsnyc fix?!? I know he said he would'nt be here today, but it seemed so far away and I was hoping against hope that it was one of his many tricks. Alas, my heart is now like bridges in Minnesota, the land of 10 000 lakes and Quebec, the land of 100 000 lakes: collapsed; crushed.

Sycophantic Backstabber said...

Oh, and racism is genetic

bikesgonewild said...

...mmmmmm....can you say "prurient interest"...

...& btw, commiecanuck, here on a slow news day...the headline "quarantined canadian train" ???...train ends up in 'foleyet, ontario' where a certain bikesgonewild first faced reality...
...i see the population has shot up to 350 people & they now have a road running through town, instead of just the RR...
...canadian progress never sleeps...

...sorry folks, old flashbacks & remote beginnings...we now return you to blah, blah, blah...

Anonymous said...

CC,

Wow. Okay, I believe you may have given this some thought.

Pillow fights??? Seriously, are you 15 or what? Frilly underwear would be wasted if worn on a girls night in.

Yeah, I think everybody has gone bat crazy w/o Snobby.

Sycophantic Backstabber said...

anonymous 4:46

Are you trying to say I should wear frilly underwear under my chamois?

Waste not, want not.

OpenYourEyes said...

pc police didn't get any action with your fake posts about racism 'eh?

too bad. us dumb rubes just write about bikes and punctuation, no matter who/what your skin or eyes or genitalia are doing/goin', we just don't care

Anonymous said...

sycophantic backstabber

Probably be more comfortable than the lederhosen you usually wear.

Anonymous said...

Sycophantic Backstabber,

Only if they are silk. Reduces friction, don'tcha know.

Anonymous said...

Oh, and I forgot...

Insert stupid semi-colon wink here.

Anonymous said...

Bike Snob,
I'm surprised you didn't catch that "Mellow Johnny" was Lance Armstrong's nickname during his Tour de France heyday. It's a play on words from maillot jaune, or "yellow jersey" in French. Got that? Now I'll stop pretending I'm more of an authority on cycling than you are.
Peace..

Anonymous said...

(o V o)

.


*
Y

Anonymous said...

anon 9:27,

Your ASCII female looks off kilter. Let me turn my monitor on its side.

Ash, now she looks like a reclining Rubens nude. Very classy.

homer (_8(|) said...

Mmmmmm.... ASCII skanks...

homer said...

D'oh! She's upside down!

(|)8_)

There, that's better.

bikesgonewild said...

...for all you wannabe's, the news outa palermo, sicily sez "THIS is a podium !!!"...

Crackhead said...

You guys don't know nuthin' 'bout what us chics talk about. And frilly underwear? Come on. We are talking leather thongs.

And us tri chics really like men who shave pretty much everything.

I'm having BSNYC withdrawal. But the comments are "pretty" entertaining.

Frilly said...

Crackhead,

Not sure about the leather thongs, but agree 100% about the shaving. It definitely contributes much to my roadie lust.

Especially Chris Horner, smooth top to bottom. H-O-T! If Astana-wah brings him to Missouri, they may have to hire a security detail.

Andy Pandy said...

Okay lets all scoot over to Pez and purve on the italian gals on the Daily Distractions

bikesgonewild said...

...andy pandy...pez is a great site for following bicycle racing...besides the excellent race reports & fotos, ricardo pezzolini (richard pestes) himself or whichever correspondent he has following a race, regularly does a personal piece which adds color to the overall picture...
...rather than "just another race report from somewhere in the world", you're given a taste, a feel for the local area...
...pez adds brilliance to "mi vida miseria"...

...& those "daily distractions" are anything but purvy...unless you look at 'em w/ X-ray specs, ah, like me...

bikesgonewild said...

...btw...there is a great new funny gatorade commercial on the tube...looks like a "tour" stage w/ the announcer going off in french & in the middle of le peleton is a kid on a 24in wheel bike mtb (i think) kickin' ass w/ the 'pro's'...

...look out for that power of advertising...whoa, glug, glug, glug...

frilly said...

BGW,

I couldn't believe it when I saw the Gatorade commercial--between that & the Ihop Tour de French Toast, are we seeing roadie culture go mainstream?

I checked out pez cycling & feel vindicated in my appreciation of Chris Horner. Seems Michael Eisner is also a Horner fan. Okay, maybe not quite the same way.

Andy Pandy said...

Yeah admit that it is a bit tame but some time ago they had the Rock Racing gals and they looked like they were recruited from a pole dancing club. Some of the Cor Vos photos .... of racing are stunning tho

bikesgonewild said...

...frills...fergot about that "international" h-o-p commercial which is pretty 'merican looking but the gatorade thingy is quite a stretch for american advertising...ain't no lance in france, no lemond across the pond & definitely ain't no mainstream names in american cycling that the public eye could spot right now, even w/ 20/20 vision...

...(& hey, if ya get to might horner, no drooling...it's unbecoming...even for be-thonged cuties...just sayin')...

...anyway, i give gatorpee total props for boldness & maybe the gas crunch is allowing for a tiny bit more cycling awareness...hope it lasts & translates ultimately into more safety on the road for all of us...but i ain't letting down my guard...

bikesgonewild said...

...duh on me, frills...meant to say "meet horner"...

Nick A. said...

Herr Snob:

I notice you generally respond to two types of posts:

1) The ones indicating you've made a factual or grammatical error.

2) The ones telling you your post sucked.

Therefore, I have this to offer from Stuart Smalley, "You're good enough, smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like you!"

Regards,

Nick A.

Anonymous said...

and.............shark.....................jumped.

yogi said...

Iv hat like that.

there you have it.
the Mountain King goes fixie focused..

Oh yeah did I tell you the latest fad FIXIES SUCK

yogi said...

gawd something broke..
I said
John Tomac has a hat like that

dinoibo said...

Sesli sohbet Sesli chat
Seslisohbet Seslichat
Sesli sohbet siteleri Sesli chat siteleri
Sesli Chat
Sohbet Sesli siteler
Sohbet siteleri Chat siteleri
Sohbet merkezi chat merkezi
Sesli merkezi sesli Sohbet merkezi
Sesli chat merkezi Sohbetmerkezi
Sesli Sohbet Sesli Chat
SesliSohbet Sesli chat siteleri
Sesli sohbet siteleri SesliChat
Sesli Sesli siteler
Seslimuhabbet sesli muhabbet
sesli sohbet sesli chat siteleri
sesli sohbet siteleri sesli chat
seslisohbet seslichat
seslikent sesli kent
sesli sohbet sesli sohbet siteleri
sesli chat sesli chat siteleri
seslisohbet seslichat

Anonymous said...

I would like to more know about it. asthma Read a useful article about tramadol tramadol

ekle paylas said...

nice blog Thanks for sharing. voicesohbet was really very nice.
sesli chat siteleri sesli sohbet
sesli sohbet siteleri sesli chat
seslichat seslisohbet
sesli siteleri chat siteleri
sohbet siteleri sesli siteler
voice sohbet sesli sohbet siteleri
sesli sohbet seslisohbet
sohbet siteleri sesli chat siteleri
seslichat sesli chat
herkesburda herkes burda
sohbetmerkezi sohbetmerkezi

Anonymous said...

The article was very interesting and informative for me. weight loss Read a useful article about tramadol tramadol