Thursday, December 13, 2007

This Just In: Apoca-Watch Update

Controversial BSNYC commenter and noted fixed-gear freestyler Prolly reports that rapping person Kanye West has just purchased a Cinelli Vigorelli track bike from New York City shop Trackstar. If this is indeed true and not a hoax, the Fixed-Gear Apocalypse may be drawing even nigher than heretofore thought. Photos of Kanye with the bike were not available, but Prolly submits this artist's rendering:




In other news, a candid photograph discovered by me indicates that Hillary Clinton's press secretary Jay Carson may have an affinity for fixed-gears as well.

Finally, apropos of nothing, Greg Lemond's house was recently featured on The Travel Channel's "Luxurious Log Homes." I'm pleased to report that his log home is indeed luxurious.

Now back to today's post, the Cannondale dramatization.

118 comments:

Sprocketboy said...

A log house! Now, that's living!

daddo.one said...

and again today!

Sprocketboy said...

If it is a really luxurious log house, you could survive the Fixed Gear Apocalypse in it.

Prolly said...

yeah, my boy that works at DQM taught him how to skid

rd said...

speaking of luxury cycling:

http://tinyurl.com/2mb8hh

$1,400 for a crankset! can't wait to see who buys these...

Sprocketboy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sprocketboy said...

Nice crankset. It sure is worth the money to have that outer ring flow smoothly from the spider. Too bad they spelled Markus Fothen's name wrong in the ad, though. $200 off, I say.

Kalavanka Trump said...

SCREW THAT GUY MAKE FUN OF THE PEOPLE WITH THE COPILOT STICKERS ON THEIR BABY BIKE SEATS

Prolly said...

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2174/2109452254_2dd56cf8f6.jpg

Scott said...

Can the log house survive a round of bird-shot at near point-blank?

Josh said...

Other notable track bike owners include Pharrell Williams and Vincent Gallo, both of whom own the Brooklyn Machine Works Gangta.

(Like Kanye, this is not a joke.)

leroy said...

Wow, sports, news and entertainment.

This is a full service site!

There may even be a column here.... What type of bike would various personalities ride?

Would Billy Gibbons of ZZ Top ride a recumbent because of his beard?

Questions, questions, questions.

(Prolly -- speaking just for me, all is forgiven for posting that photoshop pic.)

bikesgonewild said...

...we forgive, prolly, but we don't forget...

Anonymous said...

I heard Kanye bought a Cinelli because Pinarello "hates black people".

BikeSnobNYC said...

[Ring]

-Trackstar, may I help you?

-Yes, I'm calling for Mr. West. Could you tell me what time his new bike will be dropping?

--BSNYC

aaron said...

"Rapping person." How, uhh, PC of you.

bikesgonewild said...

...thought you new york fixxies talked like "yo, trackstar, whattup ?"...

...just surmisin', out here in the hinterlands...

erik k said...

does that make the bike a gold digger?

leroy said...

Are we sure Mr. West bought the bike for himself?

I mean, it is the holidays.

Maybe Trackstar misheard "gifted rapper" when all Mr. West's people were asking about was "gift wrap."

Karl Rover said...

"Mr. Carson wore slim jeans, a fitted striped sweater, a trim beard and black high-top Converse All Stars that, according to his close friend Beau Willimon, he spent 30 minutes scuffing in the first after purchasing to achieve a more authentically "punkified" look."

Further evidence that Hilary is going down in Iowa and New Hampshire. I wonder Mr. Carson stole Chelsea's skinny jeans?

pete said...

Oh no! The pistadex in MPLS is currently $300!

http://minneapolis.craigslist.org/bik/507115512.html

Anonymous said...

8/10 victims of sexual abuse live in log cabins, usually luxurious.

mr.complaint said...

Prolly

That bike is flopped. Flip Canvas Horizontally......

Lemond lives in a log?

Mister Hipster said...

Blazers... now I like the idea of that. Trackstar should be onto that one in a flash.

judi said...

Awww, leave Kanye alone. He just lost his mom....

broomie said...

He thought he was buying one of these: http://www.flickr.com/photos/36107305@N00/343069814/

Fattie Merckx said...

Awesome!! I can finally buy a cheap track frame!

Anonymous said...

Re gangsta "track" bikes:

70' HT
73' ST

They call that track geometry?

I guess it's appropriate if the track you ride is in the middle of a railroad.

Matt in Seattle said...

A friend of mine from Seattle was in Trackstar when Kanye went in and bought the bike. He even sent me a picture he took of Kanye with his camera phone. It wasn't until I read this post that I even knew who the picture was of. If that doesn't forever disqualify me as an in-the-know hipster I don't know what will.

Anonymous said...

Is there a visual correlation between cuban cigars and chopped and flopped handlebars, Just wondering

erik k said...

I think that Mexican cruzer could be on to something. A to small spare tire. Cant you just picture it, skinny jeans, top tube pads, handlebars with no tape, a brake lever on the seat post, and a to small spare tire affixed to to the back of the bike, GENIUS! what hipster wants to bogged down with all of the tools need to change a spare, I mean were in those tight pants would they ever fit a set of tire levers, spare tub and a pump? spare tire all the way

Meep said...

Anon 6:07
It's kinda like when one of my coworkers said that he didn't use brakes on his BMX bike because they were "too heavy".

broomie said...

Re:"8/10 victims of sexual abuse live in log cabins, usually luxurious."

8/10 log cabin resdients are sexual abusers.

broomie said...

RE: "Kalavanka Trump said...
SCREW THAT GUY MAKE FUN OF THE PEOPLE WITH THE COPILOT STICKERS ON THEIR BABY BIKE SEATS"

Since there is no punctuation and all caps, I can only surmise that you typed what your ID was thinking without any sort of ego filtration. That would explain your desire to screw.

As far as baby seats, scoff if you must, but very few things evoke the pure joy of a metric century on a hand built Davidson with my 20 month old "copilot" in her LOOK Baby seat. Like her dad, she is also sporting rocket shoes, Rudy eyewear and white Assos bibs. Her's are from the Tour de Tots collection, of course. At the end we relax with steamed vanilla milk and cinnamon graham crackers.

Sublime.

Anonymous said...

Detroit Pistadex suffers a new low.

http://detroit.craigslist.org/bik/506779949.html

2008@$475

Anonymous said...

3.5 pista's = ugly ass carbon cranks?

fitty said...

was that a stock bike or did he get it "his way?"

Anonymous said...

I looooooooove those vigorellis. When Kanye gets bored of his in lieu of a fresh-to-def BMX bike, I'll be sure to take it off his hands.

bikesgonewild said...

...anon 4:56pm...considering that most sexual abuse begins when the victim is still essentially a child, somehow your comment lacks any humor, & is actually reprehensible & tactless...

...while we now know that mr lemond was preyed upon as a young man, for you to use a public forum to joke about it is beyond my comprehension...but then again, everyone else here was so busy creating their funny little remarks that no one else was willing to take you to task, including bikesnob himself, so maybe my concern is pointless...

...broomie, i'll just say you are usually pretty astute & i'll leave it at that...

Anonymous said...

bgw,

get a grip. you are not the moderator here.

the 8/10 comment was pretty much harmless, n'est pas?

and what's with forgive but not forget crap?

The Great White Hype said...

Starting to look like Pista!: The Musical is not far off after all...

Jim (GWH)

netnanny said...

tsk tsk.

bikesgonewild said...

...i believe i expressed my thoughts clearly...

broomie said...

BGW, whether you are complimenting me or calling me to task, I genuinely appreciate your sentiments re: abuse. Child abuse jokes stopped being funny in the Reagan era.


I had my fun goggles on and it didn't register what we were really joking about.

Shame on us all.


After that public service anouncement, back to the fun....

Anonymous said...

i hate to do this but... apparently tonight is my night to flame...

to whit:

1. excessive ellipsis is annoying, meaningless and chronic ellipsis is inane

2. being irritated by prolly's hotlinked hijinks was natural, venting on the comments-board understandable (although of course it only added to the punk humor of it all... like that goof who insulted prolly's musical taste... as is!)... but... seriously... forgive but not forget??? did i miss the irony? i want to think so but you earnestness suggests otherwise...

3. of course child abuse is wrong, evil, and totally not funny... duh

sexdeathrobots said...

HAY WHO LIKES COMICS BOOKS AM I RITE GUYS

Anonymous said...

While I FULLY appreciate that sexual abuse (of children, or anyone at all) is absolutely awful, I fail to understand why Anon 4:56 or Broomie should be "taken to task" for an obviously absurd/obtuse joke.

In a small group or private setting, it's one thing to say "look, I'm really sensitive about this subject." But in a public forum (where you're going to find casual jokes about abuse, murder, war, kidnapping, rough buttsex, white women, vegans, slavery, knitting, crotchal fungus, etc.), you have to recognize the difference between good-natured fun and malicious intent. When you villify someone for the former, it's just unproductive political correctness.

-Russ

(Hope I don't sound too much like that tweed sweater guy with the moustache fetish. Apologies!)

Skraight Up said...

I'm just wondering how long it'll take him to slap some 25" spinners on that bike.

bikesgonewild said...

...broomie...as i said, your posts are quite astute, so playing self-appointed taskmaster, i was asking you to reconsider the situation & you did w/ full understanding...cheers...

...anon 11:51pm...flame ?...i rather think fizzle...whether it's "my job" or not, i would find myself remiss if i didn't respond to comments like that of anon 4:56pm (maybe you, maybe not)...i also tend to respond to racial slurs...i find it hard to be faulted for that...

(1)...blah,blah,blah...
(2)...at least you seem to understand that irony was the main component...to whit: i have noticed that prolly seemed of late, to be working as a healthy contributer again & i was reservedly welcoming him back into the fold...(the last statement, while true, is expressed w/ a certain irony, so please keep that in mind)
(3)...if it really is a 'duh', then show some bloody backbone & stand up & express that thought, at the time you see it, rather than let it continue to proliferate...
...& why bother trying to denigrate someone who's not afraid to take a stand...

...cheers...

Anonymous said...

vegans lol

Call me Mr.West. said...

aerospoke in space.

http://h1.ripway.com/solace3/Westinspaceyo.jpg

BikeSnobNYC said...

Bikesgonewild & others,

Wait--so the log cabin quips were controversial but nobody got offended when a commenter said I sounded like a "nasely, whiney, Jewish New Yorker" the other day? Someone of Jewish heritage might take those as fighting words.

Russ's comment is right on. I'm not concerned with the occasional detour into bad taste. The only time I get concerned is when the comments get serious like this.

I only hope all the Jewish victims of sexual abuse who were raised in cabins haven't been too offended--that's a huge percentage of my readership.

--BSNYC

CampySnob said...

Last time I checked Lemond was shaped like a log...

Jim said...

Yeah, all y'all can have your child sexual abuse jokes, but if Fitty Cent buys a Colnago, there's going the be hell to pay. I'm predicting a shootout at the MTV Music Awards. That, or a CHUNK 666-style flaming tall bikes Bike Polo death match. It won't be pretty.

Oh, and what's all this controversy? I thought when you were talking about Lemond being in a "Log Cabin," you were saying he's a gay Republican bicyclist, the Log Cabin Republicans being the Republican Party's gay constituency, sort of the equivalent of the Democratic Party Conservative Caucus or maybe NBA Players Against Marijuana, or Credit Card Companies for Responsible Spending Habits.

Anonymous said...

russ: you rock

the others : what the f*ck
get a grip and laugh a bit

out

leroy said...

Honestly, all this controversey just makes my poor head spin.

Or maybe it was crashing on the ice on the Brooklyn Bridge this morning.

I could have sworn I saw Burgess Meredith standing over me yelling "stay down, Rocky, stay down." Don't know what that was about.

And I certainly can't figure out that vision that I initially thought was my life passing before my eyes, but turned out to be a beer commercial I once saw.

Oh well, the guy ahead of me crashed three or four times on the ice. I only got an up close inspection of the wooden walkway of a beloved cultural icon once.

So I got that going for me, which is nice.

Mebbe I'll take the Manhattan Bridge for the ride home.

Daniel said...

Well, I think all of you, BikesGoneWild, in particular, should be taken to task for insulting the ancient and revered practice of pedaresty, which (if you had any sensitivity to other beliefs and cultures at all) you would recognize as a beautiful thread in our American tapestry. How dare you denigrate the practices of the Melanesians, or slander Japanese Shudo: "the way of the young?"

Now, I'm not usually one for arguing--I value everything equally, but I have to take a stand on this issue. I am personally sickened that BGW would use--of all places--a bicycle humorist's blog messageboard to spread his diseased, culturally-biased Western opinions about what is and is not "wrong." After all, didn't the Nazis murder child molestors?

Or maybe we should all just let a joke be a joke?

John said...

Thank god the PC mullahs have finally gotten here! Soon we'll have descended to levels of absurdity that will permit me to break my pernicious BSNYC-reading habit once and for all. Hallelujah!

I'd wager that anyone who can't simultaneously laugh at something and be deeply offended by it will a fairly tough time making his way in this world and emerging with his sanity reasonably intact.

Wipeout said...

All this philosophical positioning is so distracting - I just want a Vigorelli - so can't we talk more about bikes (fixies) please!?!

bikesgonewild said...

...excuse the fuck outa me for even bothering to give a fuck...you fucks...

Chazu said...

Speaking of luxury homes; I heard Snob put a deposit on a place in Hincapie's new 'hood:

http://pladadet.com/

i-candy said...

Watch for the forthcoming "Through the wire" remix. Of course the lyrics will be changed from a car accident to how Kanye stacked his s1q fixie into some traffic furniture coming off the Willy-B bridge with some asinine gearing like 52x14 - sans brakes of course.

Amber said...

George Bush doesn't care about track people.

PushingWind said...

I must be old, when Josh mentioned Vincent Gallo in his comment at 3:32pm yesterday, I thought he was talking about one of those wine guys. You know, Ernest and Julio Gallo. Well, it turns out I was wrong. This Vincent Gallo guy turned up in the Denver paper today doing some concert in a small venue. Hmmmm.

blowfish said...

Anonymous said...
8/10 victims of sexual abuse live in log cabins, usually luxurious.

December 13, 2007 4:56 PM

I'm sorry, I don't think it's funny either and the comment about blogs being, in effect, places for such comments... I don't buy that either.

So there :o)

Philip Barrett said...

Ridin' my fixie thru da hood,
Man, that 50 Cent wishes he could.
All the ho's calling out my name,
Cos' they know my ride is fly insane.
My top-tube wrap's from D&G,
Full NOS, no brakes for me.
Seat's so high, bars so low,
Step back suckr & watch me go.

Anonymous said...

I once dated a guy with armpit fungus.

What's sadder: having armpit fungus, or not breaking up with someone after you find out they have armpit fungus?

Wipeout said...

Spinnin' slow with my bars down low,
my Keirin frame toasts my velo flow.
Popo think they can catch my drift,
but me and Kanye give em the slip.

Draftin' trucks like we breakin away,
feelin' the Gs like I cooked turn three.
yups ride a ten-speed,
kids ride a trike,
but no one can catch me on my whip-ass bike.

bikesgonewild said...

...p-dog & wipes...not thinkin' about quittin' the 9-5 day job i'm guessin...

...but props anyway...

shemp said...

in these cases you've got to let most of the air out of your tires and then hope for the best

Anonymous said...

bikesgonewild: NO MORE ELLIPSES! just try, once, to construct a complete sentence without trailing off or (as wikipedia would have it) "indicating an intentional omission." please.

Ralphy said...

To the tune of 'All Falls Down' (with apologies to K. West)

Man I promise, I'm so self conscious
That's why you never see me riding, I'm always walkin'
NJS and Nitto done drove me crazy
I can't even pronounce nothing, pass that Dura-Ace!
Then I spent 4000 bucks on this
Just to be like hipster you ain't up on this!
And I can't even go to the local bike store
Without Velocity rims, and some pants that are slim
It seems, we wearin some really tight jeans
White Aerospokes up front to be part of the scene
The trendiest people make the ugliest rides
Then put them on Velospace until a piece of you dies
We skid so wrongly, bar spins gone wonky
We trying to sell off our old Bianchi
And for that paper, buy a Steamroller
But if you just walk it, you a baby pushin' a stroller

Man I state this, he's so tryin' to fake this
He has no good reason why he's ridin' it brakeless
That bike that he cycles on don't go no faster
But he won't get gears, 'cause he'll be hearing some laughter
Now, tell me that ain't insecurrre
That busted old u-lock seemed so securrre...

Nick said...

It gets worse...

http://www.highsnobiety.com/home/the_daily_news/archive/2008/april/11/brooklyn_machine_works_gid_track_bike_for_kanye_west/index.htm

Nick said...

oh, yeah, and what sort of track bike done got risers?

cock

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