Cycling Jeans: They're Pant-tastic!

Recently a reader alerted me to the Self Edge x Iron Heart Cycling Jean. As all fashion-conscious cyclists know, it's about the attire, not the tire. Furthermore, when it comes to cycling clothing, there are two things you can't put a price on: comfort and style. Despite that, these guys have gone ahead and put one on anyway, and it's $360.

From what I can tell, the chief advantages of these jeans for cyclists is that they're tapered so they will stay out of your drive train, the rear pocket accommodates a U-lock, and there's a place on the waist to hang your keys. I was surprised to hear people were having trouble in these areas with their existing jeans since it already describes just about every fixed-gear rider I see, but I'll give them the benefit of the doubt. Personally, I'd think a crotchal wedge of some kind to prevent riders from slipping off the nose of their forward-angled saddles would be a more attractive design feature, but what do I know?

Now, you might think that the cycling world needs these jeans about as much as it needs another bottom bracket standard. But like cycling components, you shouldn't worry about how well it works. You should worry about how long it will stay cool. And, more importantly, you should also think long and hard about whether there's some "old school" vintage alternative you might be able to buy on eBay to get more street cred.


Just check out the jean model. He's asking himself three important things: 1) Where the hell is my bike?; 2) Could I possibly be wearing cooler pants?; and 3) If so what are they? Of course, the answer to the first question is, "It's gone, because you were dumb enough to lock it to a chainlink fence." And the answers to the second and third questions are "yes," and "these:"

That's right. Just as BMXs are the new fixed-gears, it follows that BMX pants are the new cycling jean.

Tapered? Check. Tough and durable? Check. High in the back, low in the front? Double check. Radiating throbbing waves of 80s chic? Check mate. And best of all, they're even cheaper than the cycling jeans. These babies just sold on eBay for a low, low $206.49!

I for one look forward to a day when our cities' trendier neighborhoods are full of the whoosh-woosh-woosh of inner-thigh friction, like a Weight Watcher's convention with a corduroy dress code.