Monday, November 5, 2007

Cycling Jeans: They're Pant-tastic!

Recently a reader alerted me to the Self Edge x Iron Heart Cycling Jean. As all fashion-conscious cyclists know, it's about the attire, not the tire. Furthermore, when it comes to cycling clothing, there are two things you can't put a price on: comfort and style. Despite that, these guys have gone ahead and put one on anyway, and it's $360.

From what I can tell, the chief advantages of these jeans for cyclists is that they're tapered so they will stay out of your drive train, the rear pocket accommodates a U-lock, and there's a place on the waist to hang your keys. I was surprised to hear people were having trouble in these areas with their existing jeans since it already describes just about every fixed-gear rider I see, but I'll give them the benefit of the doubt. Personally, I'd think a crotchal wedge of some kind to prevent riders from slipping off the nose of their forward-angled saddles would be a more attractive design feature, but what do I know?

Now, you might think that the cycling world needs these jeans about as much as it needs another bottom bracket standard. But like cycling components, you shouldn't worry about how well it works. You should worry about how long it will stay cool. And, more importantly, you should also think long and hard about whether there's some "old school" vintage alternative you might be able to buy on eBay to get more street cred.


Just check out the jean model. He's asking himself three important things: 1) Where the hell is my bike?; 2) Could I possibly be wearing cooler pants?; and 3) If so what are they? Of course, the answer to the first question is, "It's gone, because you were dumb enough to lock it to a chainlink fence." And the answers to the second and third questions are "yes," and "these:"



That's right. Just as BMXs are the new fixed-gears, it follows that BMX pants are the new cycling jean.

Tapered? Check. Tough and durable? Check. High in the back, low in the front? Double check. Radiating throbbing waves of 80s chic? Check mate. And best of all, they're even cheaper than the cycling jeans. These babies just sold on eBay for a low, low $206.49!

I for one look forward to a day when our cities' trendier neighborhoods are full of the whoosh-woosh-woosh of inner-thigh friction, like a Weight Watcher's convention with a corduroy dress code.

75 comments:

Anonymous said...

I kinda hate to see people jumping on the fixed gear bandwagon to make a buck... or $300 bucks...

Anonymous said...

poulidor

Dave said...

Isn't it funny how all of the bike messenger styled cycling clothes/accessories are expensive as shit? I was under the impression that bike messengers made just about minimum wage.

M. Weed said...

Those BMX pants are incredible. Maybe I can ask a hipster with a sewing machine to make a pair for me.

Niki said...

Speaking of the woosh-woosh-woosh, that's been the most noticeable "feature" of my toptube pad.

That and the comfort it must provide the guys who sit on it all day long while it's locked up.

I'm taking it off tonight. I can't stand that sound anymore.

gewilli said...

and i thought low three figures for some cargo "knickers" was outrageous

hell lets see - old navy outlet cargo pants for $15... scissors... woah... instant "cycling" knickers...

that easy?

no fahkin way...

of course if you are a tall freak you can just buy your waist size with 4-6" shorter inseam than ya normally wear.

Padding? If you ride enough to want to wear "knickers" you don't need no stinking padding...

And yeah. Those BMX pants are HAWT!

Aaron said...

Staight from the Self Edge website: "Owner Kiya Babzani admits everything they sell can be uncomfortable at first, especially if you’re new to it."

Sounds kinda like prison sex...

Anonymous said...

You should try using commas to imply a pause. Example:

"I for one look forward to a day...."

could be written:

"I, for one, look forward to a day...."

Strayhorn said...

To quote that great New Yorker, Texas Guinan: "Hello, suckers."

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 3:28pm,

Thanks for the copyedit. If I obsessed over my bikes I'd never find time to actually ride them, and if I obsessed over my prose I'd never get around to actually posting anything. I don't believe in perfection. I believe in "good enough."

--BSNYC

Polygraf said...

If i could back to 1985 I wouldn't. Did woody itson ride for Hutch?

Anonymous said...

Dave, agreed... it's so sad when messengers can't afford to look like messengers, hipsers *HAVE* to drink PBR to afford being hipsers, and everyone goes brakeless because they had to chose between pads and maxi-pads.

We need a charity alley cat race!

Anonymous said...

Hipsters will dig it. In the denim bars here they're already buying $300 denim so this won't be a big shift.

(shrug)

Though I AM going to buy that hoodie with the integrated handkerchief. I borrowed one from my friend and it is NICE!

I'm sure this is pry very rude or inappropriate but: When do we get to see YOUR bikes Bike Snob?

':-/ <--(Raised eyebrow)

Anonymous said...

"...like a Weight Watcher's convention with a corduroy dress code."

<3

Prolly said...

"it's about the attire, not the tire"

Classic.

Fuck those jeans. Levis all day...

Anonymous said...

What's corduroy?

quaffimodo said...

"...like a Weight Watcher's convention with a corduroy dress code."

Little known fact: the amount of heat generated by one overweight person taking one step in a pair of corduroy pants is a "zwit" (Ž).

BTW, I took the liberty of applying for a patent on the "crotchal wedge." Have your people call my people and I'm sure that we can come up with an equitable division of the future spoils.

Jim said...

HOLY CRAP! No wonder I'm having so much trouble racing cross this year. My skinsuit doesn't have raised back pockets so it feels like I'm sitting on a tiny wedge shaped seat that is trying to painfully stick itself up my ass on every bump, I have to ride with my U-lock around my neck because there's no back pocket to stick it in, and my keys keep dropping down the front and irritating my Balzac because there's no built-in chrome chain watch-fob. That, and it's two pounds lighter than those pants and comfortable to wear, so it's clearly not what real bikers should rock. Jeebus. And all these years I've been wearing lycra, when doubleweight, uncomfortable denim with key chains and lock rings hanging off the sides would have done the trick.

Super double extra bonus Jim: These cost just as much as Assos bib tights. Awesome! So those jerks who buy full retail from Competitive Cyclist won't be able to call me cheap for getting buying the less expensive Etxe Ondos (only $309)! Hey, did you hear Outside Magazine has a contest to win a $10000 bike? I don't know what it is, but it costs $10000 so it must be pretty damn good...

onespeedbiker said...

You forgot the fact they are also very uncomfortable. "Self Edge sells only 15-21 ounce denim. Twenty-one ounce denim is the heaviest in the world - almost twice the weight of your normal Gap jeans. Owner Kiya Babzani admits everything they sell can be uncomfortable at first, especially if you’re new to it."

And of course these are made from 21 ounce denim.

Brad

Anonymous said...

In about 1983 I traded an Ozzy Osbourne /Crazy Train cassette tape for a pair of Bill Walters BW "leathers" (aka bmx Pants)

Olivier said...

360$.... I am speechless.

Anonymous said...

I work at an Urban Outfitters, where we sell denim that ranges in price from $49 (Levi's) to $200+ (True Religion, Diesel, Paper Denim). And to be perfectly honest, Levi's make a damn fine pair of pants. Every time I see some kid on a fixie wearing designer jeans, I want to vomit.

Sure, you can go absolutely nuts and buy a pair of pants that cost as much as your dumpster'd bike, but why would you? If you are going to have pants for cycling, don't you think you're just going to dirty them up in a hurry? Grease, dirt, blood... I know most of my paints have these added features to them now.

Shrug. There are times that you want to buy up to something durable. Like a good bag, or a decent U-lock. But Jeans? C'mon people, this is just f'n sad.

leroy said...

Hutch sold his pants on e-bay?

First they auction off the General Lee. Now this.

Hmmmph.

At least Starsky isn't trying to make a quick buck on his celebrity.

bikesgonewild said...

...crotchal wedge, wow, the etymologically challenged are cryin' over beers on that one...

...i stated the other day that sf bike culture is becoming blinder-ed & boutiqued & you prove my point w/ a pair of $360 denim "cycling" jeans from where else but sf...

...astute comment, aaron & i guess prison is where all those reasonably priced 501 button front's are residing these days...along w/ most of the orange jumpsuits some 'cross' types favor...

...bsnyc, i stand up & salute not only your choice, but the bmx pants themselves..."my country, tis of thee,..."...

Anonymous said...

Allez Pou-pou.

yhg said...

To this anonymous poster:

That's not what commas are for. Commas are grammatical objects, not transcriptional ones. Should Bike Snob put a "..." in the entry before the picture of the (awesome) BMX pants to imply that there was a pause while he went back to ebay to copy the image and paste in its URL?

Anonymous said...

Why not just cut to the chase and get some Carrera team kit from the Chiappucci/Pantani heyday?

Never will there be denim tighter than that. Even comes with a matching white T-shirt jersey (which might even be old enough to get some "irony" street cred).

BotchedExperiment said...

Should the jeans only be tapered on the right leg?

Anonymous said...

Unless they start making locks in the profile of my fat curvy ass I don't see how I'm going to be able to ride with it in my pocket.

marlo said...

THAT IS RETARDED.

They didn't even include features that regular jeans don't have that we could actually use, like a reinforced crotch/thigh area, which is really the only complaint I have about regular jeans in the first place.

And yeah, seconding the "messengers are fuckin' poor" comment. $360 is like half my paycheck.

Anonymous said...

Pile of cheap American flags (made in China) check. Used singer sewing machine, check. Mission jeans is now in buisness! sorry, first run is pre sold out, look here for the next run.

Scott said...

You got the interpretation of that picture all wrong. What the model is really thinking is, "I wonder what I should do if someone walks by and sees me peeing on this fence?"

bikesgonewild said...

...back of "cycle world" motorcycle mag...gusset jeans.com...scroll down for defender jeans...kevlar inserts, reinforced, yada-yada...$113.00...

...yer call...

mr.complaint said...

Wow, I've never looked at the BMX side of ebay. I'm too old for old school. Sad.

I didn't know U-Locks were designed to go into ones pocket. I was always taught to let the bike do the work. Ouch.

My jean problem is that I keep wearing the seat out. I don't see anything about getting a tough hiney either.

I shop at Dave's on 6th Ave. I could get 10 pair of 501's for $350, as long as I can avoid sales tax.

Anonymous 3:28pm

Hey, stick around and teach us politely, please. Get a name like CommaGuy or PeriodPrincess or pedalandbrake and enjoy the show.

Cycling Phun said...

Hey bike snob: Do you remember Woody Itson and the infamous Gold Hutch Trickstar?! THAT was a badass bike! :-P

Hi, I'm rags said...

What about these bike jean shorts? Classy.

Anonymous @ 3:06: Ha!

aaron said...

Thank goodness they include directions for getting there by fixie and BMX!

"Via Fixie or BMX Bike

1. Take SF Bike Lane 45, (which runs along Valencia) towards the Inner Mission @ the corner of Valencia and 18th
2. Major Bike lanes that intersect with 45 are: 30, 40, and 44
"

oh, and also don't forget when ordering your jeans that

"* When washed, the denim will always shrink between 1.5" to 3" in length (inseam) and between 1" and 2.5" in waist size. Please keep this in mind when choosing your denim"

bikesgonewild said...

...aaron, back when i used ta skate sf, we'd go to the corner of valencia & mission n' get black "union made--plenty tough" ben davis'...guy owned the store guaranteed 'em, so we'd buy 'em tight, skate till we blew 'em out, go back & the guy always replaced 'em..."don't know how you do it, but here's a new pair"...i mean, we rolled in on our boards so he hadda know, but the man was good to his word...

...bens used ta cost about 20 bucks & i don't imagine i paid for more than the first pair, but went through about 5 pair...

...think i need to find that guy & buy him a beer...

...360 bucks for a pair of trendy "cycling" jeans...that's not hip, that's insulting...

Anonymous said...

yhg,

Aren't things loosening up with the use of commas? I heard a great diatribe on NPR from some brit. Since casual writings (blogs?) read more like conversation, the use of commas implies a pause. When I was reading that sentence, I envisioned BSNYC holding his/her palm to his/her chest while a pint would be in the other hand. Please that I used the word "could" instead of "should".

chalino sanchez said...

i rather spend it on fancy espresso for a year.

my wrangler pants eat fancy jeans for lunch, anytime. for about the price of 8 new inner tubes, these pants will outlast any trust-fund kid trust-trend BABY!

bike snob i love you.

chalina sanchez said...

and made in the USA. by the way.
not bad for under 40 bucks

im sure id be a different story if wrangler used some kinda soft porn tough jean ads ala A.Apparel.

Perineum Loves A Bulky Seam said...

I'm intrigued. For the most part, I don't like riding more than a few blocks at a time and I DO NOT like to sweat. When I sweat, I chafe, and when I chafe, man, it's over. I'm walking the bike and I'm waving to the chicks. Period. End of ride. Look, if I'm gonna consistently drop this kind of cash, these pants, this cherry NJS bike, this haircut, and these good times are gonna last, dude.

June said...

pants fail the test of being functional and fashionable off the bike. what are you supposed to do after you get to where you are going? you would look like you're wearing a pair of maternity pants!

June said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
JackH said...

Jeans? How frightfully uncouth. Over here in England, one simply HAS to wear this in order to avoid being mistaken as a complete oik:

http://www.dashingtweeds.co.uk/dt/tailoredoutfits/?page_id=43

leroy said...

Jackh --

Yikes!

No wonder that model isn't showing his face!

Anonymous said...

mr.complaint,

The last thing I need is a handle. I wouldn't be able to choose between:

Mr. Over-comma-ed
Mr. Over-hyphenated
Mr. Over-use-of-conjunctions
and
Mr. Run-on-sentences

I am glad that I gave up my technical writing duties in favor of turning wrenches. I was a fraud.

Tight Pants Wearin Ass Nigga said...

I love how narrowminded riders are.

If you havent noticed on the website, its obviously NOT a bike site. Correct?
The jeans were made for those who enjoy that genre of denim, AND cycling.
If you dont like them, then this market is obviously not for you...

"I shop at Dave's on 6th Ave. I could get 10 pair of 501's for $350, as long as I can avoid sales tax."

Are you trying to sound like a dumbass or what?
Why the fuck would you want 10 pairs of the same fuckin jeans, that rip the exact same way, fuck up week after another, become completely thrashed after going down ONCE? Instead, you can have a solid pair of jeans, that aesthetically LOOK the same, but will last 10 times longer than a pair of 501s?

If anyone has seen this store, its in the heart of the Mission in SF, and why would they put directions on how to get there for fixie or bmx? Hm, because almost everyone who lives in the Mission rides a damn bike.

Anonymous said...

obviously none of them are bikers- they would have reinforced inner thighs and butts. or something. i rip through every pair i have. i guess that's what happens when you actually RIDE the bike.
j

Anonymous said...

levis twisted jeans are cut differently and are the comfiest jeans ever to ride your bike in. No seams up your arse. Super dooper.

Anonymous said...

Turn that frown upside down, and ride your bike with a smile next time!! :) Nobody likes a grumpy old smelly biker who thinks these are biking jeans!

Clayton said...

i went to the website yersterday. the jeans are heavyweight denim. 13-21 oz., apparently. they're more likely to wear holes in your flesh than to wear out. frankly, i'd rather them wear out.

and "those who enjoy the genre of denim." i read somewhere when googling "self-edge" about folks who are obsessed with denim. particularly, folks who pay $350+ for jeans they've tracked down or travelled some distance for. normally i'd say, to each their own, but in this case, i can't. eternal return. check it out. they're pants. surely you can find something more itneresting, if not more meaningful than pants to obsess over?

THE ALL KNOWING ROOKIE said...

Yo I had a set of those Hutch pants when I used to race BMX. They ruled then, and now I would have to use a shoe horn to get into them.

Scott Gordo said...

That's funny. My brother wrote me an email asking what I thought of the Hutch pants. Written in all earnestness:

"I’m not one to buy clothes without trying them on. With that said…

…zowie! That’s one stylish pair of pants! If you are confident they’d fit, I’d go close to $140 for them. You can spend $200 bucks easy on some bullshit Chinese-made, whiskered, acid washed, mass-produced, pubic sprouting, metro-zombie Diesels that’ll be an unwearable embarrassment in two years. The Hutch pants are perfect for polishing chrome in, cozy Sunday snoozing on the couch, or kicking innocent strangers in the balls with the padded shins – that is, these are pants for a man! These are heirloom pants. These are pants that will increase in value as time goes on. If your offspring are underserving, you never need the money, and I outlive you, I can see to it that you’re buried in them.

Also, these would look great with an $8 black Hanes hoodie and your Vans, so, really, it’s not a terribly expensive outfit.

The caveat is that, of course, should you win them you’d really be on the hook for a Hutch. You could ride another bike with them, but it would have to be equally pimptastic. In the meantime, you could frame them and put them on the wall until you do get your actual bike. It can become the temporary centerpiece of your altar."

Placid Casual said...

Anonymous wrote:

You should try using commas to imply a pause.

You should try using the word "denote" to denote denotation.

bikesgonewild said...

...james brown used ta say - "maceo, if ya don't hit denote, gonna cost ya two hunnert dolla"...

testicular cancer said...

these jeans also cure bad grammar. sincerely.

John said...

I hate just about everyone. Especially bike hipsters on fixies. Smoking cigarettes. Makes me want to buy a diesel dually and mow some fools down. And I own 5 bikes goddamnit! Hipsters ruin everything. Fashion is for sucks. Real men wear one of three types of pants - Dickies, Levis (regular ones, a-hole), or Carharrts. Lee or Wrangler are acceptable if you live in Montana, Wyoming, North Dakota, New Mexico, Nevada, or parts of Utah, Colorado, and Arizona. Any other pants signify questionable manliness.

mimiflynn said...

yum, questionable manliness...

ahem, wouldn't wearers of such thick pants overheat and die if they were to ride a bicycle in them? they seem so tight around the ankles that i wouldn't be able to roll them over my sexy cyclist calves if i started to get too warm, which is why i usually roll my pants... prevention of pantsing my gears is just a minor perk.

David said...

My favorite cycling bottoms for spring/summer are dickies cut into knickers, and for the winter, it's gotta be carrhart overalls. They've got pockets for my wrenches!

Plus, overalls just look fuckin' cool...

Anonymous said...

With that weight denim, you'll never have to shave your legs again. It'll wear the hairs right off em!

Anonymous said...

Those Hutch pants bring back great memories from the 80s!

Anonymous said...

you guys are totally missing the point. if you knew anything about denim you would "get" the price and the concept. obviously you don't, so stfu.

fausto said...

Wow this is an long living thread.

Since this original post was written, Swrve has started making cycling jeans.
http://www.swrvestore.com/servlet/Detail?no=63

The swaggering of "real men" wear dickies... fashion bad, anti-fashion good... That's nice. I've worn dickies and I've worn cycling jeans (Swrve's) and cycling jeans are better. I wouldn't pay $300 for a pair of jeans though, no matter the superior design, because that's obscene and smells of Japanese Selvege fetish. Swrve's are priced like a slightly pricey pair of jeans and they're a small biker-owned business in LA making the stuff LA . I'd rather give them my $ for a well designed piece of cycling gear than to mega-corps like Levis and Dickies even though it's a better anti-fashion statement.

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