Thursday, August 30, 2007

BSNYC Thursday Fun Quiz!

I've put together a little quiz. It incorporates some items and bikes readers have been kind enough to email me, as well as some things I've happened upon myself. The way it works is this: simply read the question, make your choice, and then click on it. If you're correct, you'll see the item. If you're not, you'll see this image of former US pro champion, race promoter, and soporific commentator John Eustice making a point. Obviously, you may be able to figure out the correct answer by mousing over the link before clicking. Since I can't stop people from cheating, I'll simply rely on the honor system. Anyway, pencils ready and good luck.

1) $10 will buy you the following must-have accessory:

--A holster for your U-lock

A pair of nylon crank arm protectors

An integrated belt buckle/lockring tool

A presta/schraeder adapter finger ring

2) If you absolutely must use a brake on an NJS bike, the correct solution is:

--Change your fork

Drill your fork

--Use a clamp-on brake

--Use a coaster brake

3) Roadies like to hug each-other during races.



4) The front Aerospoke of ’08 will be:

--The 32-spoke box section wheel

The 28-spoke radial aero wheel

The Skyway BMX mag wheel

--The Campagnolo disc wheel

5) You can only use one top tube pad on a bike:



6) It is currently fashionable to tape your bars only halfway down so that they resemble a dog’s erection.



7) Which of the following can you purchase?

--A $39 Burberry print helmet satchel

--A $49 “lumber-track” hip pouch

A $29 fixed-gear specific wrist wallet

A pair of $89 Louis Vuitton-print shin guards

8) Which of the following can you also purchase?

--A hoodie with an integrated bandana

Skinny jeans with an integrated chamois

--Recessed cleat-compatible canvas sneakers

A winter jacket with integrated messenger bag


Stuggy said...

OMFG! Why would any frigtard put a disk wheel on the FRONT? I'm just a roadie who doesn't own a fixie, and even I know you don't put disk wheels on the front. I can't stand how the wind blows around a deep v spoked rim on the front, let alone a full disk. I can't even imagine how it would feel to try and turn a disk wheel on the front...

Jamesy-Cakes said...

Violence against hipsters should not only be acceptable, but encouraged.

Anonymous said...

i almost hate the fact that i think that bridgestone is so over-the-top stupid it's really awesome. i genuinely like it for some reason.

also, can you please illuminate what is happening in that race? a friendly hug, and then he decides the jog the rest of the way? i don't get it.

Niki said...


Everyone knows you use a front disk (and rear disk) at indoor tracks!


Ugli (the guy doing the hugging) overlapped wheels during a race. Instead of going down, he grabbed the guy in front of him (and burned a hole in his bib shorts from the tire). Once they got down to a reasonable speed he let go and started running.

No one got hurt.


Unfortunately I clicked the very first link in your post which then changed the color of all the wrong answers in your quiz. Kind of made it hard not to cheat.

Prolly said...

Ditto Nikki.

Also, Hip pouches are great for storing tubes, tools and a cold budweiser without getting sweaty back.

Anonymous said...

They'd never get away with that display of interracial sodomy here in the Commonwealth of Virginia. Fortunately, it seems that Ugli is well versed in the art of the Larry Craig "wide stance." Who knew there such delicious perversion in the world of cycling?!?!?!?!!! HOTTTTTTTT!!!

quaffimodo said...

Dog dick bars. As if I didn't already have enough to laugh at in the course of a normal day.

BikeSnobNYC said...


Thanks for the heads-up! That didn't occur to me. I guess I should de-hyperlink the first paragraph. Then again, I suppose the first time someone clicks on a wrong answer it'll happen anyway. Oh well, so much for that...


E said...

Yep, I got the first question wrong. Strangely enough, I had no problem answering the remaining nine correctly... hmm!

Art said...

"Good for bar spins" The only thing spinning there is Tulio in his grave.

Aaron said...

I like that U-lock holster. Thanks BikeSnob!

BikeSnobNYC said...


Don't mention it.

Niki and e,

I changed the text color which works on my browser. Hopefully that will thwart the cheaters. If not I add this to my long list of failures.


K-zoo said...

WOW!!! That U-lock holster does the EXACT same job as the back of my pants or my belt and for only 10 bucks instead of free. What a deal!!!

Scott said...

Am I really the only person on earth who thought that the holder that clamps on the frame that came with the u-lock was useful? I mean, of course I wouldn't put it on my MTB or roadie, but for my commuting bike?

Niki said...


I have three bikes and lock up all three (although two of them very rarely). It's just more convenient for me to carry the lock either in my back pocket or in my hip bag (yes, I'm one of those people).

Since I almost always ride with my hip bag (filled with tubes, tools, etc.) it makes sense (At least to me).

mojito said...

dammit. 2/8 right first time. worse than the expected outcome from 5,000 monkeys randomly clicking.

frickin saw JE 12 times. 12!!! For the love of God!

and yes, that bridgestone is ridiculous and awesome. it was built to be such. see the accompanying text by aaron pratt.

dog dick bars. yes. though, technically, from what I've seen of my over-excited puppy the bars should be a pinky red.

bikesgonewild said...

...i am so afraid of committing & so afraid of the humiliation that might result w/ having the wrong answers to these incredibly taxing questions...
...jeez, i need a break...

Colin R said...

. 2/8 right first time. worse than the expected outcome from 5,000 monkeys randomly clicking.

no.... i'm pretty sure that's the expected outcome of 5,000 monkeys clicking.

don't worry, 5,000 monkeys can't do math either.

scottg said...

Rapha is making every #7 item available, Rapha marketing will send a
by way of thanks.

Swobo is taking care of #8.

Anonymous said...


Works great now!! NO CHEATERS!!

Dan said...

while I missed the campy front disk wheel question, I overheard a conversation at the track just last night between two masters racers that there is actually scientific data behind being more aero up front. So. FYI. Huh.

And now that aerospokes are sported by the soft handed crowd...there has to be something new...otherwise, cyclista, how could we ever get to know you?

Ronald said...

I love how in every photo i've ever seen of a u-lock holster,the model is wearing jeans-the back pocket of which a mini u-lock slides into like it was made to go there!

Ronald said...

Didn't anyone else notice that that's a 650c campy disc fork-my brain is seizing up-I cannot comprehend such stupidity!!!!!

Anonymous said...

I've never been so insulted by a bike as that Cinelli Vigorelli with the disc wheel. That's just an unimaginably stupid waste of money I've ever seen. And don't get me started on the risers. Just ignorant, poor taste matched with an apparently limitless budget. And this guy probably thinks the world of it. In this case, fuck "to each their own." Owner of this bike: you're a damn fool and have a crappy crappy bike.

mojito said...

said "no.... i'm pretty sure that's the expected outcome of 5,000 monkeys clicking."

Wait, wait, 5,000 monkey's would be get it right one in four times and .... what? eh? oh.

Anonymous said...

OK- I usually refrain from commenting on stuff I see here- but I wandered around that Kin Kog site, after chuckling at the holster, and there is this chick modeling the "Diamondback" t-shirt, something that some retarded kid in 1986 would think was awesome and wear to a Warrant show, and I look at her forearm and she has a fucking sewing machine tattooed there. Whtat is wrong with the old stupid tattoos, like koi, or stars, or pin up girls? A SEWING MACHINE?!? I'm sur it is a picture of her grandmothers sewing machine that she made clothes on to support her family or some shit... but it has to be the STUPIDEST tattoo, other than the butthole on the naval, that I have ever seen

John said...

I like the holster. I hardly ever wear jeans while cycling and I never liked the idea of putting a u-lock in a pants pocket anyway.

It's only $8 from the source and it works great for me. That will barely buy you lunch in New York, you ballers.

Anonymous said...

Yo BSNYC - This has nothing to do with today's post, but I think you will appreciate this all the same. As you have fixy geeks and wanna-be's along with all the other obscene NYC cycling communities, you don't have to deal with the huge disturbance in the cycling force created out here in the West by that ultimate counter-culture drug party masquerading as an "Art Festival" of Burning Man. Yes, the indignity suffered by all the ridden-once-a-year bicycles that are dragged from the Bay Area over the Donner summit into the Nevada desert is nothing less than cycling Blasphemy. Bikes covered in shag carpet from head tube to rear drop out, Robo bikes chopped, with multiple wheels welded together in "artful" combinations, classic MTB's adorned in drag of silver and gold tinsel, beach cruisers shamed with burden of Neo-Hippie neon spray paint of various colors that only match in the "artists" head. Yes, I could go on for miles, just as the parade of rental RV's, old travel trailers and converted 50's Greyhound buses did the other day on HWY 80 East, but I shall resist. As I did not have my camera with me the other day, I will send photos soon. Burn the wooden man, not the bikes!

Fendergal said...

Question #3 indirectly reminded me of Mike Gacki. In particular, the story in which he punched someone during a PP race, then claimed that the guy was falling and he was holding him up. With his fist.

The Eustice photo is priceless.

Anonymous said...

Bonjour. Re: Question #2.
It took me 10 minutes to understand your reasoning on the clamp-on brakes. Bravo!

Scott said...

Anonymous 9:56,

Thank you for pointing out the utter atrocity that is burning man! CL here in LA has been flooded with posts as of late for cheap burning man bikes, e.g. beat up old pieces of scrap metal that may or may not have been good when they were new but are nigh unrideable now. It disgusts me that such a huge amount of metal is just going to get tossed in the Nevada desert.

Bottom line, if you're going to burning man, we just can't be friends anymore because I hate you.

Ronald said...

hey all you anonymous cunts-are you too embarrassed to put your real names to your drunken blatherings-shit-mostdrunken yet-six shots 'a absinthe wid beer chaser while listenin to xtreme japanese earachebleed shhikt 'ldo that to a cunnt-sorry!!!!!

Ronald said...

yeah\-gotta pay the fact that i could n't believe that the u-lock holster was only ten bucks -best wank value ever-=shit- i need more alcohol or drugs-I'm startin' to get kind-ten minutes ago I couldn't even spell my name!

Ronald said...

RE:burning man-why da fuck would anyone wanna do acid in da middle of a desert with no shade anywhere an no forest canopyta reflect da light show off at night---we hold our equiv in da middle of state forest-lotsa shade-lotsa trees to bounce lasers off -still lotsa dickheads though-I hate MYSELF when I'm on drugs-glad I don't do that shit no more!

Ronald said...

don't do crit mass anymore 'cos of the same dickhead factor-never really did-always felt like it was my lifestyle that inspired those wannabes in the first place-so why the fuck should I take time
out from getting fucked up on fri night to turn up to their little poser show-sorry,been fuckin' traffic for a living- most of it fucked up in one way or another for nigh on twenty years-so 'scuse me if I got an attitude....fuck I remember when Iwas the ONLY idiot running fixed -never see anyone-occasionally some sixty year old roadie'd go"aw yeah-ya got da fix out for training have ya?"-nah,sorry,mate-not where I'm comin' from-training for what?Never raced anyone except myself in my whole life-except for rhe utter bastardthat always tries to cheat me of the line that is rightfully mine-for if possession is nine tenths of the law-In MY TOWN I OWN THE ROAD-and any fuccker who argues will learn hard!By the way-never,ever ride with an attitude like this without years of expertience to back it up-YOU WILL GET FUCKED!!!A ton of steel don't forgive mistakes 'an so I fuckin' hate hipsters who see our style which we do without even tryin' without even having the millionth idea of the extent of self loathing and sheer stakhanovism it requires to do that shit to yourself day after day after year(Google Stakhanov motherfuckers-maybe it might give ya a clue!!Poor deluded ,honest bastard-is all I'll say right now)From one point of view-i am the worst possible home for an old track frame-as soon as I get it-in four months it's dead-always inthe same place-b.b seat tube junction-yeah-it's breaking my heart-I've had some classics-I've finally got the cash together to go to a builder-and say build me a tank that won't do that-weight and wank no object-then just clearcoat the fucker-to the untrained eye-as ugly as fuck-but to those who KNOW-the builders art exposed in all its glory!I havw never ever felt the need to post any of my bikes on the net-although they're there if ya look,as am I-an' i don't mean my drunken,late night bullshit on here-damn,bsnyc-reckon i should get my own blog and let all these johnny come lately,hipster,wanker,wannabe tryhard tasteless motherfuckers taste some real bile-nahh-no one would wanna read the confessions of the terminally bitter and twisted -besides-I really COULD'NT BE FUCKED!!!!

Ronald said...

So thanks-dunno if my shit is quite whatyou expected -think of me as the old roadie cum trackie who took a wrong(or right,who can tell?)turn at some stage a looong time ago-don't have to do what I do for money any more---it runs MUCH deeper than that-I could sell my house and retire to the country with half a mill in my pocket-invest and just live off the interest-travel as much as I want etc etc-but I can't-because I'm hooked-I would go insane-even working as a bike mechanic/wheel builder in one of my citie's busiest bike shops seems like purgatory looking back now-compared to being an outlaw messenger,only concerned with whatyou can do safely-'cos in traffic-where every thing else outweighs you by a hundred times-you ain't got time to worry'bout legality-where even takin' a second to snot could kill ya-fuck-how can ya ever leave and ever really be happy ever again...?

Anonymous said...


there's rants, and then there's rants.

BikeSnobNYC said...

I always like hearing from Ronald. And something about the time difference makes it especially poignant.

Earache records indeed...


Ronald said...

Hmmm-I was rather drunk last night wasn't I!?Glad you like it though Bikesnob----

Anonymous said...

Yeah for fashion!!! I'd rather hold a dog's dick than wear wear girl's pants any day.

You guys are soo proud.

Ronald said...

Nothin' to do with "Earache Records" BSNYC-just good old Japanese ultracore that makes yer ears bleed and ache!

Anonymous said...

I think Ronald sounds an awful lot like stark raving mad man Gacki. Who, by the way, is even more insane and unpredictable than ever.

Anonymous said...

great read. I would love to follow you on twitter. By the way, did anyone hear that some chinese hacker had hacked twitter yesterday again.

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