Worst of NYC Craigslist SPECIAL EDITION: Bike Love

It is readily apparent that, now more than ever, people are accessorizing with their bicycles. You can only put so many tattoos and trendy articles of clothing on yourself, so naturally you've got to turn to your bike when you run out of room. Colored Deep-Vs, top-tube pads, stickers, and shiny new paint jobs are just some of the ways that people use their bicycles to play dress-up. The transportation part, while convenient, seems be pretty far down the list of reasons for owning a bicycle.

But what's the point of all this then if it isn't cycling? Well, it's to meet boys and girls of course! In our nation's trendier neighborhoods, bicycles are like dogs: their owners dress them up, they parade them up and down the street, and they use them as an excuse to talk to people. Oh, and like dog owners, they don't ride them. There's no better place online to see this in action than the Craigslist "Missed Connections" section. Here are a few recent examples:

Williamsburg Bridge Riding! - m4w - 30
Reply to: [deleted]Date: 2007-07-03, 9:33PM EDT

Saw you riding this morning. You smiled at me. Riding a black Fixed. A VERY Long shot.

This sounds like the beginning of something truly meaningful. If she's half as lazy as you are I think you guys may have something. Who was riding the black "Fixed?" You? Her? Or maybe you're more crafty than I give you credit for. With 2,000-3,000 black fixed gear bicycles crossing the Williamsburg Bridge every day, chances are either some woman riding one saw a guy she liked, or saw a guy she liked riding one, or was riding one and saw a guy she liked who was also riding one. Perhaps she'll also be charmed by the fact that you are not preoccupied with superficial things like looks, since you didn't bother to mention a single distinguishing feature on yourself or on her. Are you a genius or an idiot? It's so hard to tell these days.

hunky bike rider in greenpoint - w4m - 27
Reply to: [deleted] Date: 2007-07-03, 4:01PM EDT

you rode by me with your hat on and on a pretty orange bike with white wheels. your arm muscles were so nice. i want you to hold me. i see you all the time. next time i will yell, but what name should i yell?

This bike is clearly a fixedgeargallery post come to life. If this poor, smitten girl wants to get this guy's attention, she shouldn't worry about his name. She should just yell, "NJS track cranks for sale, $30!" He'll jump on her faster than Ryan Trebon jumps back on his bike after clearing a set of barriers. I don't think this relationship will work, though. If she can't even name any of his components in her post he's going to quickly lose interest in her when she doesn't get excited about his latest NJS eBay purchase or want to hang around at King Kog not riding all weekend.

brooklyn bridge for boredoms sat.. - m4w - 28
Reply to: [deleted]: 2007-07-09, 1:38AM EDT

You had a purple road bike i think, and wore boots with a purple houndstooth type dress and blonde hair. I was the uk boy with the black shirt/purple hat, that told you your bike light was on. U smiled. You looked over before u got on ur bike at the end, but I was too shy to do anything, without seeming cheesy. Wish I had though, it would be nice to meet again.

Apart from the poster's obvious ineptitude as a potential suitor, as a cyclist my biggest questions is: who rides a road bike in boots and a dress?

You ran over my cat with your fixed gear track bike - m4w - 24
Reply to: [deleted] Date: 2007-07-09, 10:30AM EDT

You were the tall, skinny girl in the skinny jeans and winter cap who ran over my cat because you could not stop your fixed gear track bike in time. Don't you think you should pay my vet bills? Also, I thought you were cute, even if in a stinky and reckless sort of way. Maybe if we get over this hump we can go hang out together and stuff.


Everything about this post screams that it's a fake, but I prefer to pretend that it isn't. I also hope Judd Apatow reads Craigslist. This should be his next movie.

Prospect Park bike repairer missed chatting to Asian beauty in bikini - m4w - 31
Reply to: [deleted]: 2007-07-09, 11:21AM EDT

I was at the North end of Prospect Park on Sat July 7th adjusting the brakes on my mountain bike, when you strolled up like a vision and set your blanket down a few feet away. Laying there in your bikini, white earbuds glistening in the sun, I was struck dumb. By the time I worked up the courage to offer you a Pringle, you had vanished like a dream. Make 7/7/07 my lucky day, and drop me a note if you read this. -Repair Guy


No doubt she was laying there fantasizing about you coming over to her house and adjusting the brakes on her bike as well. Nothing turns a woman on like a guy who can handle a set of linear-pulls. Was the can of Pringles in one of your water bottle cages?


Stocky dude with reddish hair - w4m - 30
Reply to: [deleted]: 2007-07-03, 1:33PM EDT

I've seen you on 7th ave twice now. Will you help me buy a bike? I am not crazy.


If anybody knows this guy, please warn him.