Worst of NYC Craigslist Bike Ads #5 and #6

While preparing to embark upon my weekend I checked in with Craigslist one last time and immediately came across two fine examples of just how abysmal the NYC board can be. I leave you with these so that at least those of you who live elsewhere can spend the weekend savoring your good fortune:

RALEIGH 48CM SINGLE SPEED FIXED/TRACK BIKE! - $500 [original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/bik/363224026.html]

(You read right: $500, and presumably in US funds.)

Reply to: [deleted]
Date: 2007-06-29, 5:03PM EDT This is a orange RALEIGH RECORD 48cm SINGLE SPEED ROAD BIKE. It's a great courier/messenger bike. I just need to downsize my bikes a bit. And this one's gotta go. It's my baby and I'll miss it.

If this is your baby, I pray I never see the rest of your stable. Unless you literally mean "baby" because of the diminutive size. But I'm sure you'll sell it. Lots of people are looking for 48cm Raleigh Records, the bike Sheldon Brown (!) calls "the bottom of Raleigh's drop-bar line." (And I hope I'm misquoting so he comes by and corrects me.)

This is a "used" lugged road bike, all the gears have been removed, back wheel has been dished over to accommodate a single wheel cog. Bike has new chain, bar tape, and cog. Here's the info:

Why is "used" in quotes? Is it quasi-used but not really? And I'm sorry I scoffed at the price. I didn't realize it had so much new stuff on it. Is the bar tape gold leaf?

FRAME AND FORK: RALEIGH RECORD, LUGGED, MADE IN ENGLAND. FRAME HAS SMALL CHIPS AND SCRATCHES, BUT NO FRAME DAMAGE, NO CRACKS. Measurements: FRAME SIZE: 48cm. TOP TUBE C-C: 53cm. STAYS: 44cm. REAR SPACING: 122mm. STANDOVER HEIGHT: 30 1/4"

Finally! I've been looking all over for a bike with 122mm spacing so I can use my slightly out-of-spec 120mm hub.

GEAR RATIO: 40T (CHAINWHEEL) X 16T (COG) X 165mm. (CRANK ARMS) CRANKS: NERVAR 165mm.

Sweet looking cranks. Welcome back, cottered.

HANDLEBARS & STEM: ALUMINUM

Those bars make your bike look like Ronnie James Dio throwing the metal horns.

FRONT BRAKE: DIA-COMPE
WHEELS: ARAYA 27" X 1 1/4" ALUMINUM
HUBS: SUZUE

I'll be showing the bike next week. Just wanted to line up people to take a look at it. Please email me. I will be reposting this next week.

"Wait. Is that the line for the new iPhone?" "No, some guy's selling a 48cm Raleigh fixie conversion for $500." "Oh, really? I was just on the way to the shop to buy a brand-new Bianchi Pista, but that sounds like a much better deal. I think I'll queue up!"

$500 cash or best offer. Must pick up. Thanks for looking, James

See you soon, James. I'll be the one camping out in the pup tent.

bike messenger gear for sale - $325 (Greenwich Village) [original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/bik/363109168.html]

OK, not much to say about this one. This is another one of those ads that is clearly a guy hoping that some chick is going to read this and fall for his cutesy delivery. The reality, though, is that people are looking for bikes, reading this, and getting really angry. I present it to you uninterrupted so you can share in the fury. If you're a working messenger prepare to put your fist through a wall:

Reply to: [deleted]
Date: 2007-06-29, 2:33PM EDT
Here's the deal, guys. I recently moved to New York City and worked as a bike messenger for a few weeks until my other job kicked into full force. So now I'm selling this stuff because it takes up too much space in my apartment and I really just don't need it. The bicycle is quality. A Specialized Hard Rock Comp edition - 17" frame, Shimano Alivio components. It's yellow. It's fast and quiet, and I've kept it finely oiled ever since I got it last year from a friend who bought it to commute while his license was temporarily suspended. Never a crash; all the components are in perfect condition. About the bag: Bailey Works Inc. - extra large, fully waterproof. I bought it only two weeks ago. It's one of the best high-end bags available today. It's sleek. It's black. So fashionable and so so durable! Bond, James Bond has already made an offer on this bag but I figured I'd hold out a little longer to see if you guys wanted it because Bond, James Bond already has so much cool stuff anyway. It has tastefully minimal and yet effective reflective strips on it. It's extremely spacious, and there are all sorts of extra compartments in it to keep your things organized. It even has velcro! I've held gigantic parcels in this bag and felt zero discomfort across the shoulder strap because the shoulder strap is so well padded. Here's also some stuff I'll throw in for free, if you buy the above mentioned gear:

One (1) matte gray-blue Giro bike helmet, only worn by my frequently shampooed head for two weeks.
Two (2) mountain bike inner tubes, in case you pop two (2) flat tires.
One (1) Roland Juno keyboard... fully functional as a midi controller; semi-functional as a stand-alone keyboard... just figured I'd throw that in there, you know?

Really, guys, I'm just trying to make good on my initial investment and pay my rent on time, so prices are negotiable.

Ask for William: [deleted]

Take it to the personals, Bill. Or to "erotic services." Have you seen "Midnight Cowboy?" It's tough to make it in this town and Sunday is the 1st of the month. But judging from the photo of you with the keyboard I think you've already reconciled yourself with what you'll need to do.