Tuesday, June 26, 2007

The Perfect Storm of Things That Piss Me Off

Stevil Kinevil of howtoavoidthebummerlife.com kindly sent me this sublimely infuriating video. Perhaps you've seen this before (looks like it's been around awhile) but I hadn't.

San Francisco. Brakeless. Chrome freewheel Pista. Top- and downtube pads. Twisted spoke lacings. And he's a DJ.

If I were to make a film satirizing the urban cycling scene this would be it.

He is the physical manifestation of my vitriol. He is my White Whale.


Flavamost said...

Call me Ishmael. This guy makes me want to jump in the ocean. At least he recognizes that Led Zeppelin and reggae don't mix well--too bad he can't apply that same logic to the rest of his life.

Anonymous said...

That dude needs a kick in the crotch. And I bet he's a big fan of "brunch".


Christopher McArthur said...

Saw that video at the bike film festival, actually thought it was a pretty fun watch ;)

and yeah, he is totally mental.

Robosauce said...

what a stoat. No wonder motorists hate on us so hard. As an oft-harassed commuter I want to kick that dude in the taint so hard he regrows some hair on his head.

digiTED said...

bitch, bitch, bitch...

since you guys live in the topographic equivalent to a pre-pubescent girl, you seem to find yourselves compelled to rip on people who rides their bikes just as far vertically than horizontally (as we do out here on the BEST coast).

what do any of you care what some guy how live 3000+ miles away from you thinks/says/does?

don't decry Ted Shred for his two wheeled choices; pick up some stock in Vans!

NYC is such a candyland these days...no crime, clean sidewalks in chelsea (!?); bring your shiny, pretty, velodrome wanna-be rides out here before you get soft (if it's not already terminal).

Rob in Queens said...

Exactly robosauce. This dickweed is the reason I get harassed at almost every fucking intersection I stop at. Where the fuck are the loud assed gravel trailers on the cross streets when you need them. Lets see how that stupid hat over the hoodie does against an over weight dump truck ass clown.

Kevin said...

That boy is a damned fool. Weaving the wrong way on a one way street is re-tah-ded.
Oh and I live here on the left side.

El said...

i like brunch...

what's a stoat?

Miriam said...

This video makes me want to yell, kick and scream. If I saw this dude on the street doing this shit, I'd kick him in the shins and take away his bike and stupid assed backwards hat.

And I'm from the West coast too.

Anonymous said...

The best parodies are those that are perceived as real. This is a satire! At least... christ... I hope it is.

Anonymous said...

If that is a parody, kudos to the originator because that crap is so real I can almost taste it...I want to believe it's a parody but I think I have to break down and admit that this person actually does exist, burned up vans and all...

Anonymous said...

This guy looks a touch too old to be doing that crap. How come there were no shots of him going up the hill? Oh right, cos he has to walk or perhaps he skitches a cablecar? I guess that's another documentary all together...

Ronald said...

Fuckin twisted lacing-how to fatigue your spokes almost to breaking point without even riding a bike-as forTed Shred-idiocy,balls,skills-butWHY?

Andy said...

Quit bitching, you whiny Queenbaits. I highly doubt any of you are the perfect commuters, and besides, you don't fucking own bike culture. You probably get pissed at folks who don't eat in public the way you think they should, so get over yourself and take an enema.

Anonymous said...

I saw this at the BFF a few years ago and apparently he used to be a sponsored skater so you, the transplanted dare-devilism seems to make sense. I thought it was fun to watch but, I'm sorry to say it, but TS is living in an adolescent coolness bubble that he should have outgrown a long time ago. Unless he really truly believes that the sexual benefits of being some kind of living on the edge maniac are really worth the almost certain death he is inviting. It'll be really sad and depressing when Ted Shred winds up spending the latter half of his life without being able to use his body below the neck.

paulus said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lyle said...

"I don't even know I'm on a bike..."


Seanywonton said...

Is this guy dead yet?

daos said...

probably not.

the worst thing is, he'll most likely be responsible for someone else being dead before he is. what a fuckwit.

Brett said...

Just started reading up on this hip new thing called cycling. I used to call it biking. Who am I kidding. Great critiques! I'm also learning some crazy shit too. Who'd a thunk it?

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Social Darwinism at its finest. Shouldn't be long before some oblivious Yugo removes this nitwit from the gene pool

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