Monday, March 11, 2019

I Call Dibs!

Are you a pro cycling fan?  Well, if so, you'll no doubt be disheartened to learn that the Pope questions your morality:
Speaking at the Annual Congress of the European Cycling Union, the pontiff praised cycling as a discipline which promotes “virtues such as patience, integrity, altruism and team spirit. In road cycling we can see how the whole team works together during races.”

But he added a warning over the ongoing questions of cycling’s moral compass, when “prestige and profit” lead astray. 

Oh, gimme a fucking break:

Behind a disguised offshore company structure, the church's international portfolio has been built up over the years, using cash originally handed over by Mussolini in return for papal recognition of the Italian fascist regime in 1929.

Though I suppose Pope Francis is feeling smug because he never accepted a Golden Colnago:


See, pontiffs with integrity only accept DIY bamboo bikes:


It's what Jesus would have ridden.

Meanwhile, I'm still smarting from the suggestion that it's stupid to live in New York if you like to ride bikes, because the fact is we've got it pretty good:


Indeed, from my abode all I've got to do is head over the George Washington Bridge (that's the span you see looming in the background there) and the riding is quite lovely indeed.  I've also recently rekindled my love affair with my "stainless" steel Ritte Rust Bucket, which pairs quite well with the crabon wheels from my Renovo:


As you can tell, I'm in serious training mode, since I've got to prepare for Eroica California, where on Saturday April 6th I'll participate in the Nova Eroica:


And on Sunday, April 7th I'll do the Classic Eroica:


Flights are booked, accommodations are secured, and, most importantly, a minivan has been rented.  (And yes, the passive voice has been used.)

Moreover, both the bikes I'm riding will be completely new (or at least new to me in the case of the bike I use for the Classic Eroica), and as soon as I'm done with them I will give them away FOR FREE to another lucky Eroica rider, since I head back to New York the very next day and I like to travel light. And rather than curate some sort of contest or other overly complicated mechanism for determining who gets each bike, all you've got to do is find me at Eroica California and call "dibs:"



Yes, that's right: if you see me riding and you call "dibs" the bike is yours after the ride--assuming of course that you're the first person to do so, since that's how calling dibs works.  (Also, only one bike per dibs-caller, you can't call dibs on both.)

By the way, if you're wondering what I'll be riding I have no idea yet, which is sort of the point.  Just figure both will be somewhere in the neighborhood of 56cm--and, once I'm done with them, invaluable pieces of cycling history.  In fact, if you want to turn around and sell them go right ahead, and I can only imagine how much a bicycle ridden by arguably the world's greatest cycling writer the world has ever seen in the world would fetch at a Sotheby's auction:


I am keeping the pedals and bottle cages from the Nova Eroica bike, though, so there.

Anyway, I'll keep you posted, and if you're looking for me during the ride I'll probably be changing near a porta-potty.

35 comments:

Watch and Camera Guy said...

Podium?

Ellie said...

Yahoo! I think that Jesus would have ridden ye olde Schwinn Hornet

Drock said...

One

Schisthead said...

No shots of him RIDING the golden Colnago?

Pist Off said...

Giving a bike blessed by your scranal sweat away, that’s fairly ‘eroic, eh? Nah, seriously, that’s damn cool.

Serial Retrogrouch said...

I call shotgun!!!

Anonymous said...

Dibs !

Atheist from the Womb said...

90 years ago. Long time to hold a grudge. Perhaps a little giving of a fucking break might be appropriate in view of the effort the Catholic Church made to oppose Mussolini’s adoption of anti-Semitic policies after Benito allied himself with Hitler back in WWII days. One Italian the Church enlisted in the effort was Gino Bartali. [See Road to Valor by Aili and Andres McConnon]

Willie Voltaire said...

Podium dibs!

Anonymous said...

Dibs

huskerdont said...

In the unlikely event that two people call dibs at the same time, I believe it should be settled by a swimsuit competition.

The Church of the Abused Children calling others out on immorality is pretty effing rich.

Anonymous said...

I don't know about riding bikes, but from what I hear it's definitely stupid to be living in New York if you're paying taxes.

Anonymous said...

Assuming all cyclists dope is like assuming all priests enjoy buggering little boys........
Let he without sin, blah blah blah.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Athiest from the Womb,

Yeah, great point, besides the Mussoli thing they Catholic Church hasn't committed any atrocities at all. *eyeroll emoji*

JFC.

--Tan Tenovo

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 2:16pm,

Not bothered by either assumption, it's just that one is *way* worse than the other.

--Tan Tenovo

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 2:01pm,

Haven't you heard? Cyclists don't pay taxes.

--Tan Tenovo

Monday morning brain cramp said...

Still trying to separate Eroica from Erotic.

Call me lazy or even worse......

dnk said...

I'm renting the Popemobile so I can drive out to Eroica CA and call dibs on your bikes. Keep an eye out for me snobby --- Jesus will be my copilot, and verily He always has the dopest dope.

dancesonpedals said...

Meanwhile, the UCI warned Frances about fondling alter boys.

JLRB said...

Let the first religion without sin throw the first crabon bike over a cliff

Very jealous of the Eroica rides

I am glad Eroica chose a different picture of you for their website - rather than the port-o-potty bibshort shot they chose the one where you are hunched over the old timey bars with a look of determination, or constipation - maybe both?

Anonymous said...

Anybody see the "Tyrewiz" on Velonews today? $200 so your phone can answer the all important question "what pressure you running"? I wiz on your tyrewiz!

The Pope criticizing cycling is like the Donald criticizing pretty much anybody.

Anonymous said...

Why is it always dibs? Is there never a singular dib?

Chazu said...

Jesus, take the wheel! Or the handlebars.

Speaking of which, I did a solid job re-taping my bars after installing a new front fork and new brake cables/housing on my main fredding bike. (After many years, I'm done with having a crabon steering tube; I prefer the peace of mind brought about by an aluminum tube on top of my carbon fork).

The bike also has new HED Belgium wheels. I like the way 23mm tires now inflate to match the width profile of the rims; a couple mm wider than the Mavic Open Pros I've had on the bike for years. The ride is noticeably more supple now.

Yesterday, I took the whole thing (on the roof rack of my car) to a local National Park and rode in the cold Sunday morning air. I do enjoy bicycle cycling.

Speaking of supple... the gang over at Path Less Pedaled / The Supple Life, or whatever they call themselves these days, were talking about you (Tan) on YouTube a year ago. They were drinking liquor and pontificating (heh) on one of your blogular entries. Dunno if you've already seen this, but here it is: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qxLb9owJdV0

Atheist from the Womb said...

Tan Tenovo at 2:21 PM says: “besides the Mussoli thing they Catholic Church hasn't committed any atrocities at all. *eyeroll emoji*”

Exactly. There’s plenty of atrocities. So why bother when the Church Head Honcho issues a warning that at least makes defensible sense (I hear some Italians are Catholic. Maybe they’ll listen). It’s not like there aren’t plenty of other occasions you or I could use to skewer those guys. And if you can’t help but skewer, why not choose something in their history that had nothing in it that might go to mitigate one of the multitude of their other offenses? Especially when the mitigation is related to bicycling history?

But I’m going on too much with this. I enjoy and respect your blog and have read it regularly for a few years now. For that reason, I’d ignore, for example, any invitation to not visit it if you were to so invite, as sometimes you do when someone displeases you enough. Also, try not to injure yourself with eye rolls. You need them peepers.

By the way, “Atheist from the Womb” is a description of me. If by chance you took as referring to you, that’s not what was meant.

Anonymous said...

> Indeed, from my abode all I've got to do is head over the George Washington Bridge (that's the span you see looming in the background there) and the riding is quite lovely indeed.

So does that mean that if you like cycling and you live in New York, you should relocate to Jersey?

Steve Barner said...

"Just look at that last picture, dear. That's what your future husband will look like, a dozen years after you're married."

"No, Mommy! NOOOOOO!"

Bogusboy said...

In Holland and France they were called collaborators. Pius XII managed to avoid that hurtful stereotype.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Athiest from the Womb,

Sorry, I just found the whole situation completely absurd, and if anything I thought I was being pretty tactful not going straight to the sexual abuse thing.

Anonymous 7:01pm,

I mean many of New York City's suburbs are located in New Jersey, so lots of people would say yes.

But not me.

--Tan Tenovo

Opus Dei is for wimps said...

I can understand you don't wanna be arsed with piss-farting about organising a contest to give away shit, but it's still a bit of an affront to those of us who dutifully pay our respects at the Church of the TT/BSNYC/WCRM Holy Trinity on a regular basis to be snubbed in favour of a small group of elitist participants in some pretentious ride on one tiny patch of the earth.

How about a supplementary contest whereby the contestant who comes closest to guessing how many times people say "dibs" to you on the day and when you first physically or verbally lash out at a dibs caller wins a bless'd vial of your Holy Scranal Sweat?

I guess 37 total dibs calls and an outburst on the 12th.

HDEB said...

Fun way to giveaway bikes! Yesterday I learned for sure that my go-to LBS is closing, it was my favorite shop, the staff would sometimes verbally abuse customers and that kind of shop is getting hard to find.

Anonymous said...

Pope is on carbon now, no more Colnagos

https://www.americamagazine.org/sites/default/files/main_image/20180125T0852-14105-CNS-POPE-AUDIENCE-CHILE-PERU.jpg

J Milton said...

Child abuse, cover ups, and dissembling (to match his holiness' use of alliteration)

J Milton said...

The new one or the old one?

pbateman said...

I assume someone at specialized was tasked with coming up with a bike for the pope and that's what they came up with?

The pope should have smoted it on sight for being so insanely boring. Its nearly as bad as all black bikes.

I'm finding it difficult to find a way to work your mom into today's comment. I rarely find it difficult to work my way into your actual mom so not sure what the deal is. Writers cock block i guess.

JLRB said...

Catholic diocese demands apology from 'SNL' after Pete Davidson compares church to R. Kelly