Tuesday, September 18, 2018

New Outside Column!

I didn't want to do it, but what can I say, responding to dumbass stories about bikes is kind of a compulsion for me:

Sure, I may be giving the dipshit a few clicks, but I do love that illustration.

And I like this one even better:

In fact if you think of my Outside column as a bunch of random words below a series of excellent illustrations it kinda makes sense.

By the way, I assume the Out of Step rider is supposed to be me, and I like cartoon me better than the real me:

(Via here.)

I really should be wearing a gold chain to go along with that plunging neckline.

That bike really does kick ass though.


Dooth said...

Hey bros! It's Cuozzo the Clown 🤡

Pelon said...

Lookin tight on that Jones Tan Lenovo! podium

pbateman wants to go ride his chubby bike but has to work said...

maybe you aren't just built for radio after all. looking Tan and fast.

Tan TeNoSlow. also could pass as a tribe name so works pretty well.

that was a very reasoned, mature take down of the silly person saying silly things. yet still entertaining.

your decade of base mile writing have turned you into the 105 of bike bloggers. No one actually ever achieves DA Di2 status, that is best left as an unreachable goal to prevent you from getting lazy, but you can still hit Ultegra so keep up the good work.

also, they definitely don't hop. they ollie bro:


huskerdont said...

In DC, our Steve Cuozzo is Courtland Milloy. Yes the race is different, but the lame arguments and transparency of the clickbait are about the same.

hellbelly said...

That "Out of Step" illustration is great and I'm old enough to remember buying the record via Dischord's mail order when it came out. Gen X classic rock, ha!

Dirk Montero said...

The older I get, the more lazy writing bugs me. The idiot author invented a one-legged guy and came up with "legless" to mean "missing one leg." All he had to do was re-read or edit his own work (I'm assuming way too much here, aren't I?) to see that he had implied a zero-legged person hopping between subway cars.

A nitpick then: Dale Earhnardt lost his life doing what made him rich and famous. His son is the one who got into biking just before retiring with his body still intact. Whether the original author had any idea of this, I have no idea, but if you don't include the "Jr.", I think you're crediting the wrong Earnhardt.


Chazu said...

Is that Rapha jersey from the "noble suffering" era? Or is it from the more recent "urban bros escape to the countrysid" era?

BikeSnobNYC said...

Dirk Montero,

I gave him the benefit of the doubt that he meant Jr.

--Tan Tenovo

HDEB said...

It must suck to be a conservative white man in Manhattan! Nice form riding the Jones downhill.

Anonymous said...

'Cuozzo' is Italian-American slang for the female genitalia. But in Jersey they leave off the final vowel (as they often do), so when Tony/Silvio/Paulie says it, it ends up sounding like "cooze." And now you know the rest of the story.

Pist Off said...

The fuck? Doesn’t Cuozzo have an editor?
“Legless men hop from car to car.” That’s a breathtakingly stupid sentence, even in our current hellscape of daily Trump quotes.
I can’t even consider the argument, such as it is. Minorities don’t ride bikes on the paths, uhh, does he even live in NYC? White bike bros infest Colorado, sure, but NYC not so much.

Anonymous said...

The other thing is, what fraction of one-legged men decide to make HOPPING their permanent lifestyle choice? Don't most of them use prosthetics, crutches, and the like, so as to not constantly be drenched in sweat?

Anonymous said...

Dirk Montero, read the whole article linked to regardingDale Earnhardt Jr. riding bikes. It shows Sr. doing bike tricks on a BMX sized bike that are hard enough tricks that we can assume SR. knew his way around a bike as well. Yes, he was being lazy calling Dale Earnhardt Jr., just Dale Earnhardt, but there is truth to what he said no matter which Earnhardt he was referring to.

Dr. Fronken-Steen said...

Nice Hopping

Oregon Yellow Snowflake said...

Not so fast!

I have a feeling that NYC has a far less racially biased-toward-white-men bike lane population than other locales.

But the general consensus is that bike lanes serve white and more wealthy populations than otherwise.

Cuozzo may have the same editor as Mr. Tenovo; himself.
(Should that be a colon? I only have one, and I'm using it.)

Mr. Tenovo does substantially better work, but he could use the spellcheck feature of his word processing application more frequently.

Chazu said...

Cuozzo was thinking of Eddie Murphy's character during the opening scene of the film "Trading Placing". He forgot that the film was set in Philadelphia, not New York.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Oregon Yellow Snowflake,

Tell me more about the "general consensus."

--Tan Tenovo

Weepy Sidewalls said...

It’s the general consensus that General Tso’s is generally delivered by the generally non-white-boy non-priveledged bike rider.

dop said...

Oregon Yellow Snowflake:

Why were Ron & Nancy Reagan like s broken word processor?

No memory, no period & no colon.

JLRB said...

I am way too pleased to report that a significant portion of the cyclists I encounter on the bicycle routes around DC are of the finer gender.

Chazu said...

It is ridiculous to think that reallocating public space from privately-owned automobiles to privately-owned bicycles is an elitist practice.

Which costs more to own and operate; a car or a bike? Oh wait, I get it! Poor people work miles away from where they live, and they can't possibly be expected to hold down their job without an automobile. Have the anti-cycling among us stopped to consider that auto ownership is an economic anchor around the poor person's neck?

What else is an economic anchor around *everyone's* neck? Poor health caused by the choice to live a sedentary life. I work with plenty of obese people who make a lot of money. They drive their 4x4s from their suburban homes to their suburban jobs, and park as close to the main entrance to the office building as possible. Some of them use their standing desks for a couple hours each day. We share the same 'private' health insurance plan sponsored by our employer.

The health insurance plan gets worse every year, precisely because my colleagues and their families are slothful, car-dependent gluttons. This isn't a local phenomenon. It is baked into our society.

Oregon Yellow Snowflake said...

A poorly informed consensus of me, myself and I.

Read the Routledgebook linked in my comment, for shits and giggles.

I dismissed a lot of it but not all of it, and I believe in truthful hyperbole, for sure.

Pleb said...

Good analysis.

HC said...

Haha.... I read that column. My first response was shock and anger, then I realized the author was completely and totally irrelevant. Great, great illustration.