Monday, July 2, 2018

Thrills, Spills, and Grills

The Fourth of July is coming, and you know what that means:

Civil War, baby!

Oh, and also grilling:
My first thought upon seeing the Knister Grill was that it was a disaster in the making, and that the rider would receive a face full of hot ash on the first section of pavĂ©.  However, I'll be damned if the inventor didn't think of everything:

Plus, it conforms to German safety standards:

I have no idea what German safety standards are, but it sounds impressive.

And who would think to defy this warning?

But while it may live up to German safety standards, there's no way it could live up to American eating standards:

Food for 10 people?  On that?!?

That's like a snack for one, at best.

This is how we like to do it:

In other news, Chris Froome, the world's most athletic asthmatic, will get to race in the Tour de France, which is a popular annual stage race:

Although Froome’s sample was reported to contain a concentration of salbutamol in excess of 1000ng/ml, the UCI said it had closed the case based on Wada advice pertaining to permitted use.

“The UCI has considered all the relevant evidence in detail (in consultation with its own experts and experts from Wada),” read the statement. “On 28 June 2018, Wada informed the UCI that it would accept, based on the specific facts of the case, that Mr Froome’s sample results do not constitute an AAF.

“In light of Wada’s unparalleled access to information and authorship of the salbutamol regime, the UCI has decided, based on Wada’s position, to close the proceedings against Mr Froome.

A decision resulting in much wringing of hands:

Though as far as I'm concerned, in 2018, it's hard to muster up much more than a "whatevs" in response to this news.  Pick any context--cycling, sport in general, the current political climate--and Team Sky's occasional forays outside the margin in pursuit of marginal gains hardly register.  Anyway, going for the Giro-Tour double is basically an admission of guilt anyway, so we might as well just sit back and let him go for it.

It's like playing with kids: they always bend the rules, but it's easier to just let them win than to endure all the whining when you try to call them on it.

Finally, in Brooklyn, fishing is the new fixie, or something:

To test his lures, Mr. Wool uses his bathtub and then goes to the East River, which, he said, has only about a foot of visibility. His favorite spot is a 10-minute bike ride from his apartment. His bike is black, has ape hanger bars, green pedals and a milk crate attached to the back that carries his tackle box and rods. It’s the hipster equivalent of a fishermen’s pickup truck.

As for me, I've bypassed the whole artisanal lure thing and now just go spear fishing in the East River:

It's a zen thing, you wouldn't understand.


cyclejerk said...

Well, how’s this for luck? Now to grill some lunch.

Old Joke said...

Do they have a 4th of July in England?

(No? How do they get from July 3rd to the 5th?)

Some of your 17 make like this, and there is a chance they have not heard it yet.

Anonymous said...


BamaPhred said...

A fisherman’s pickup? Only if it’s a $70,000 diesel F250 pulling a $70,000 bass boat.

JLRB said...

What's so civil about fishing grills anyways?

dnk said...

Speaking of fish, I was very intrigued by the monster jumping out of the Hudson at about 1 minute into the video in today's Bike Forecastl

I wonder if there's a Fish Fred that can ID that aquatic acrobat?

Also, the CBS reporter guy's comment on how the Hudson River reverses direction every morning and afternoon begs for a little tide table fact-checking.

(Sorry I can't comment on Bike Forecast b/c I can't be bothered to make a social media account...)

Blog Drafter said...

Looks like you speared a tarpon (a saltwater fish, but one that travels into fresh water to spawn) and a pike (or a musky, it's hard to tell with the color all blown out), which is exclusively a freshwater fish. Taken together this proves, conclusively, that: SKY IS DOPE!!

Not Good Enough to Earn the Title of Fish Fred said...

"Speaking of fish, I was very intrigued by the monster jumping out of the Hudson at about 1 minute into the video in today's Bike Forecastl

I wonder if there's a Fish Fred that can ID that aquatic acrobat?"

For the last 8 years or so the internet has been full of videos of jumping Silver Carp. Since they are fresh water fish and the New York Harbor is salt water, that is not what this is.

Oceanography Fred said...

"Also, the CBS reporter guy's comment on how the Hudson River reverses direction every morning and afternoon begs for a little tide table fact-checking."

In any 24 hour period, at any location on the earths oceans, there are 2 high tides and 2 low tides. Therefore on the Hudson river at New York Harbor, there are 4 changes in direction in the river's flow, spaced roughly 6 hours apart.

wishiwasmerckx said...

In order to catch a fish, you have to learn to think like a fish.

ie, what do I eat, when and where? Where shall I swim?

Having a life goal of outthinking a fish is just something I have never aspired to.

dnk said...

Dear Oceanography Fred: my bad, I wasn't specific enough. The CBS reporter guy implied that the Hudson's current always runs south in the morning & north in the afternoon. (He didn't mention tide, but my limited understanding is that current & tide are linked in the Hudson).

BikeSnobNYC said...

Not Good Enough...,

It's supposed to be a conjoined-at-the-head fish but that didn't come across due to my horrible imaging skills.

--Tan Tenovo

dancesonpedals said...

Snob- The real spearfisherman are out at Cape Cod. They use spotter planes to locate big tuna, then harpoon then with spearguns:

Boat being pulled by harpooned tuna

Breathless explanatory video

A big tuna fetches thousands. It gets packed on ice at the dock and flies to Tokyo for sushi.

FISH BAIT said...

So, you're a piker?

HDEB said...

Spearfishing is trendy, many of the good spots on Lung Guyland are mugged. Shooting a harpoon from a boat is not spearfishing. Spearfishing with oxygen tanks is lame. The realest gangsta's do it with only a Hawaiian sling, banana sling and mask. I suck at spearfishing, much worse than I suck on a bicycle. The East River has some of the best spots anywhere for Striped Bass with a rod and reel.

Some of the coolest bicycles I've ever seen are fishing bikes with milk crates, wooden cutting boards and pvc rod holders.

bad boy of the south said...

That fish may be a leg. just sayin'.

Al said...

This 4th of whatever, I plan on skipping the grill biking and concentrate on the beer biking.

Suwannee Dave said...

I watch Le Tour, not for the cheating winners, but for the guys trying to win a stage through heroic effort.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Suwannee Dave,

So the cheating losers?

--Wildcat Etc.

JLRB said...

Bike share getting a Lyft?

Anonymous said...

So, hot enough for you?

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 5:43pm,

Why yes. In fact it is hotter than I'd like it to be. The current temperature causes me to perspire and makes me feel lethargic. I would prefer a more comfortable temperature.

How are you finding the weather?

Eagerly awaiting a response!

--Tan Tenovo

Freddy Murcks said...

Pro road racing is a mostly boring farce and completely not worth wasting time or energy on, and Snob's photoshop skills are as dodgy as ever. In these topsy turvy times, it is good to know that there are some constants that we can still count on.

Anonymous said...

Dear Tan Tenovo
Is it hot enough? It’s hot as balls. My heat rash has heat rash. It’s July, so who am I to complain? But the Woo Hoo cap keeps the sweat out of my eyes, so I have that going for me.

Chazu said...

In the event anyone is interested:

Bosch automatic braking for cyclists. (Autonomous vehicle development)

Link to Reddit with embedded YouTube video.

Anonymous said...

With that light gauge construction, I expect that grill to be good for maybe ten uses at the most.

Dooth said...

A growing fishing scene in Brooklyn? I guess my fishing in Sheepshead Bay and Coney Island in the 70's and 80's didn't count, because there were no hipsters. Then in the nineties, I rode my bike with rod , reel and cooler full of beer in Manhattan, to fish the east river. But there were no hipsters, unless... I was a proto hipster!!! Damn me.

Anonymous said...

waiting for a bear grills pun out there.

Olle said...

Not sure about the Knister, but the guy’s frame must have been sized by Grant Peterson - zero crotch clearance.

dop said...

No word from the times if that guy ever caught a Conet Island Whitefish

N/A said...

Wildcat, you got a lovely mention on Tree Hugger, with bonus Canadian apology!

Not Good Enough to Earn the Title of Fish Fred said...

"Speaking of fish, I was very intrigued by the monster jumping out of the Hudson at about 1 minute into the video in today's Bike Forecast.

I wonder if there's a Fish Fred that can ID that aquatic acrobat?"

OK I'm now guessing some sort of pike, with confidence no one can prove this guess wrong.

Based on:

Snotty said...

How many times did I watch that mushroom get placed on the grill?

Anonymous said...

someone asked me recently if I liked professional sports.

baseball.. oh. well, no, not since the..
football... oh. well, no, not since the..
boxing... oh. well, no, not since the..
basketball.. oh. well, no, not since the..
yoga..oh wait. well, no, not since the...
figure skating.. well, no, not since the..
bicycling.... oh. well, no, not since the..

i like soccer i guess.