Tuesday, December 12, 2017

With Elected Officials Like These Who Needs Enemies?

As the holidays approach, it's important to gather together with friends and family and remember that in general human beings are self-interested sleazeballs.  Consider this Twitter thread, which I mentioned on the Bike Forecast, and which I feel warrants some additional treatment here:

I strongly advise you to read the entire thread, but if you want the "TLDR" (or "Cliff's Notes" as those of us who grew up in the analog age used to say), the bike lane-commandeering, cop-impersonating, light-running placard wielder turns out to be Marty Golden, the New York State senator who has been fighting speed cameras for years:

Of course Golden has good reason to be against cameras, since he loves to speed in front of schools:

And occasionally hit people:

BROOKLYN STATE SEN. Marty Golden paid a hospital visit yesterday to the 74-year-old woman he accidentally ran over with his SUV. Hariklia Zafiropoulos, 74, was in critical condition at Lutheran Medical Center after Golden hit her at Third Ave. and 84th St. in Bay Ridge on Saturday. Authorities said she had been crossing against the light. "It's devastating . . . it's a terrible accident," said Golden spokesman John Quaglione. "He will probably visit her every day," Quaglione said. "I know right now his focus is on her survival and her recovery.

I have no reason to doubt the victim was crossing against the light, because why would a well-connected politician and former cop receive any special treatment from the NYPD?

Oh, John Quaglione, also mentioned in the article, wants to legalize parking in bike lanes.

So there you go.

Speaking of the holidays, it's time for me to put on my Santa helmet:

Fire up the Menorah of Justice:

And present my brief and utterly self-serving Holiday Gift Guide!

Firstly, is there a person on your shopping list who has a head?  If yes, then obviously they're going to want to cover that head with a genuine BSNYC cap:

And since you can't go around wearing a cap and nothing else you should also get one of these so they can put it on their body:

Order the XXL and maybe they can even get away without wearing shorts!

Or, if they hate me and my blog, order a vintage-style Cue Ball Cap with the number of your choice instead!

Hot tip: I hear "3" is gonna be the hot new digit for 2018.  And if you enter the following discount code you get $5 off:


Then there are my books:

You can get these wherever fine books are sold, just as long as they also carry books that aren't fine and are all about bikes.  And just listen to these rave reviews from people who purchased them on popular online retail stores named after rivers:

"This guy seems the sort who loves to hear himself talk."

Oh god yes!  You have no idea.  I've listened to myself on this podcast like 50 times already:
My only regret is nobody has yet asked me to record an audiobook.

I mean nobody would ever listen to it, but I certainly would.

Maybe I'll make one just for myself.

And while I'm pushing merchandise that has my name on it, who doesn't like a nice cup of coffee?

Not only is Just Coffee in Madison, WI as smug as they come, but they're also having a sale:

If you really think about it, it would cost you more money not to order!

And the fact that you should also patronize the fine companies who advertise on the right-hand side of this blog goes without saying.

Even so, I'm going to say it anyway.

Finally, Peter Sagan is putting on his advocacy helmet:

No word on whether or not he'll be giving up the custom Dodge Charger:

“We explained to him, ‘Peter, this [the car shown in the Fast and the Furious – ed.] is not a very functional car. It is a gimmick car. It is a car done for the movie. It is probably not very nice inside, it is not going to be what you think.’ So he has a Porche Turbo S 911, and he basically wanted a combination of a Porsche 911 with the violence and the raw power of an American muscle car.”

I'm guessing he's not.


Lieutenant Oblivious said...


Lieutenant Oblivious said...

Ok I read it now, still no comments posted? Scranus to all! And a Happy Chanukah to all!

bikeshepherd said...

woo hoo no 1 go upstate!

Anonymous said...

No soup for you

N/A said...

Is the advocacy helmet gravel-ready?

Is "gravel" even a thing any more? You never hear about bikes going on gravel these days.

Anonymous said...


Unknown said...

vsk said ...

Peds crossing against the light - without looking - has become one of those pervasive things. I have no problem yielding whether on bike, mota-bike, car, or other implement of destruction.

But fucking look first!


bad boy of the south said...

Liking the menorah of justice. happy channukah to all and to all a good eight days!

NYCHighwheeler said...

I haven't tried that hats or jersey, but I can attest to the quality of all four books, and the coffee!

Speaking of coffee, I was shocked that part of the of the incident with the senator happened near my favorite coffeshop in NYC - Coffee Rx on 3rd Ave near 69th street. You have to be a real asshole to run over someone in that area, it is full of pedestrians.

wishiwasmerckx said...

In Europe, they generally pay for a litre of petrol about what we pay for a gallon of gas.

I am glad that Sagan is handsomely rewarded for his efforts in order that he not be exposed to financial distress keeping the tank full on his gas-guzzlers.

JLRB said...


Ben H said...

I'm pretty sure 3 was the number of 2016, highly unlikely that it will come back into fashion just a year later.

Chazu said...

With whom are you speaking in that photo, Old Man Brooks?

我讨厌帽子 said...

你好, can I get a cap with eight 8's on it?

Even though I'm not a Chinaman or a Chinawoman, the 21st century is apparently the Chinese Century and the number eight is the Chinese "lucky number", so I figure it can't hurt to get on board with them.

Also, of all the numbers, 8 uses the most material or ink or whatever they use, so it would be good value for money.

Plus, does the "CC" in the discount code refer to "Chinese Century"? And if I quote BSNYCC8 as the discount code, instead of the BSNYCCB you recommend, would I get $8 off rather than just $5?

Actually, forget the whole thing. To keep this authentic I'd have to order eight of the friggin things and that would just be ridiculous.


Anonymous said...

That’s Murray, thanks for all the hipster pussy, the chamferer

leroy said...

Unsolicited product endorsement: the BSNYC jersey in the black colorway is slimming.

My dog confirms that if you order it in XXL, you don't need shorts, making it easier to ride over to Marty Golden's house, ring his doorbell, and moon him.

I fully support my dog's political activism. I'm just not lending him my bike if he's not wearing shorts.

dancesonpedals said...

Word is out that the Port Authority pipe bomber tried to blow up a bus last month. He quit after burning his lips on the tailpipe.

HDEB said...

...one for each night, they shed the sweet light that reminds us of times long ago....

Cat 404 e-Racer said...

Have these folks sent you a sample to review/revile?

Buy these shorts or it will fall off...

Hee Haw the barista said...

我是一个 哑巴屁股

Anonymous said...

Actually, if you look at Peter Sagan's instagram, you'll see that he has been a long-time advocate of walkable and bikeable cities: https://www.instagram.com/petosagan

Self-extracted WI hillbilly said...

Does Sagan, or anyone know, or care that out in the leftist cost of CA that Moonbeam Brown is the residing Gubner?

How can they be street signs if they are not attached to the street?

Ze Cherman said...

Sagan's a clown, but he doesn't need to ditch his car to make a credible effort to make cities less shitty. It's not about this or that, it's about this AND that, at the right ratio.

JLRB said...


Mr Plow said...

one typo snob: its a "Santa helment"

Anonymous said...

is it wrong to hate cars in the bike lane but still hate bikers who think they have a higher mission on earth - like vegans?

Dan said...

Hey Eben what do you think of the new MTA proposal for the 13th St. "Bikeway?"

I live on 13th Street and some of my neighbors are upset/think it's bad for the street/will be hellaciously busy.

Do you have anecdotal evidence for dual bike lanes being residential street-friendly?

Thank you for your time. Always begin my day with your report. Own all your books and one of your Walz caps.