Friday, November 10, 2017

BSNYC Friday Fun Quiz!

***Edit: the new Outside post is up, and it's all about the Renovo!***

And now back to today's post.

It's Friday, which means at some point Outside will probably publish my latest column, assuming it passes muster:

No no, that's passes muster.

Damn AI virtual photo editor.

Anyway as soon as they do I'll let you know when it happens.

Of course ,my last column was all about drop bars:

And my favorite guilty pleasure when it comes to writing this column is to peruse the enraged comments on Outside's Facebook:

This last batch was particularly amusing because of how many people got all hurt in the butt over that wet noodle of a Trump joke:

Logan Kirkpatrick Outside Magazine, this is just poor taste. This will only make the magazine lose more readers, definitely not a way to win any new ones. Be mature and keep your political biases to yourself or personal blogs. Stick to the magazine subject matter, otherwise you're shooting yourself in the foot.

It's hard to imagine a more gentle, politically neutral Trump reference.  Is it really news to anybody that this guy tweets a lot?  I mean, if I wanted to be politically biased I'd have said roadies neglect their drops like Trump neglects Puerto Rico, but notice I didn't go there.

But my favorite incensed commentary came from this reader:

Amanda Resch Exactly. Snob is getting old and can’t come to grips with it so he’s taking it out on all of us- his local trails suck and he doesn’t have time to go anywhere exciting- he writes articles about how suspension is useless and everyone should just pedal around their neighborhood. He can’t reach the drops anymore, so he writes an article on how drops are useless. Never seen someone go out of their way like this to justify their sorry life choices. RIP Bike Snob, it was good while it lasted.

Who left not one but two real humdingers:

Amanda Resch Poor Snob, he’s completely run out of ideas. This end of career flailing about is difficult to watch. Can someone please give him a time machine so he can go back to 2008 and 
write about Craigslist fixies again?


I certainly don't begrudge this person's right to disparage my work in a public forum, but I think it's only fair that I have the opportunity to respond.  So please indulge me as I fact check her critiques point by point:

Snob is getting old...  This is undeniably true.  Aren't we all?

...and can’t come to grips with it  I put forth that this is false.  I think I'm embracing my age rather well.  Not only am I totally cool with balding, but I also just had a colonoscopy.  (Bonus: I finally found that valve extender I was looking for.)  Also, I'm cool with all sorts of things now that used to make my head explode, like crooked saddles and pie plates, and even salmoning hardly registers with me anymore.  (Though my newfound casual attitude could be because I finally got that valve extender out of my ass.)

his local trails suck  So very false.  The trails outside of New York City are great by any metric.  I know this because I've been around.  Speaking of which...

he doesn’t have time to go anywhere exciting Also false.  Oh sure, it feels like that sometimes.  After all, we all wish we could travel and ride more, don't we?  But since starting this blog I've gone places and done rides I might never have otherwise.  I've visited Australia.  I've gone to Europe.  I've ridden L'Eroica.  I've been all over the United States.  Singlespeed World Championships, riding with Tour de France winners (well, former Tour de France winners), Bicycling Editor's Choice confab, Rivendell ride...  Certainly I'm traveling a little less now so I can look after the kiddies, but it looks like I'll finally get to ride L'Eroica California this coming spring, which is something I've been wanting to do for awhile.  Oh, and also I live in New York City, which is pretty damn exciting in itself.  And despite my child care responsibilities I seem to have ridden more since July than my detractor has all year, so perhaps I can teach her something about time management:

he writes articles about how suspension is useless and everyone should just pedal around their neighborhood  Guilty as charged.  People totally shouldn't ride around their neighborhoods.  Instead they should use their cars for short trips.  Also they should load suspension bicycles onto SUVs and spend more time driving than riding.

He can’t reach the drops anymore...  So very false.  Sure, I've mostly downsized to a 120mm stem from the 130mm I preferred in my racing days, but you can bet I'm still reaching for the drops like I'm at IHOP and it's the maple syrup.

Never seen someone go out of their way like this to justify their sorry life choices.  Really, have you missed the whole Harvey Weinstein thing?

I think Amanda Resch could use a time machine back to 2008, she seems to have really enjoyed that fixie material.

Fortunately there's always Google, which is the next-best thing.

And now, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz.  As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer.  If you're right great, and if you're wrong you'll see Inflate-A-Head.

Thanks for reading, ride safe, and pass the mustard.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

1) What does the other glove say?

2) How much for this watch?

3) "I am in the process of converting a bike from Shimano Dura-Ace 7900 to Ultegra 6870 DI2. I have the BT-DN110-1 internal battery, a EW-RS910 handlebar end junction, and the SM-BCR2 battery charger. I have used the E-Tube software to update the firmware on all of the various components and everything seems to be operating just fine. I am still waiting on a rear wheel that can carry the 11-speed cassette, so I do not actually have the bike on the road yet.

My question is, how do I make sure the synchro-shift functionality is completely disabled?"

--When you simultaneously push both shift buttons on one lever, the LED indicator lights on Junction A will tell you what is going on. They will first tell you the battery level by only illuminating the battery LED (in the proper color to indicate your battery level). If you have the option for Synchro shift, this will be followed by both lights simultaneously glowing or flashing. If the battery LED glows green and the “+-” LED glows red, with neither of them flashing, the bike is in Manual shift mode. If these green and red LEDs flash twice, then S1 shift mode is operational, and if they flash three times, the bike is in S2 shifting mode. If on the other hand, only the battery light glows and is not followed by both lights coming on, then your bike is not currently set up to even go into Synchro mode at all, and you are simply in Manual mode.
--Jargon is thus "the technical terminology or characteristic idiom of a special activity or group". Most jargon is technical terminology, involving terms of art or industry terms, with particular meaning within a specific industry.

4) I don't have time to go anywhere exciting.


5) Fill in the blank: these parents are deeply concerned about the threat that ______ traffic poses to their children.


6) Why is this kid delighted?

--He just got a new bike
--He just got a new plastic SUV
--His parents just defeated the bike lane that would have passed by his school
--Two words: "Kale chips!"

7) Mirror mirror on the wall, who's most butt-hurt of them all?

--Vehicular cycling advocates
--Trump supporters
--Suspension proponents
--All of the above

***Special Metaloid-Themed Bonus Video!***


Anonymous said...



Put that in your pipe and smoke it

dancesonpedals said...


boys on the hoods said...

Podium and read the post. Or maybe just delayed by the review.

JLRB said...

Aced the quiz because I'm old and don't go anywhere fun and can't reach Amanda's Reach Around, etc.

WillThisBeLove? said...

Comment approval is comment doping

BamaPhred said...

Good week Snob, Enjoy.

ken e. said...

nothing like a cycling related flame war, what is it with people? i'm cool, therefore you are not cool! where is the science amanda?

N/A said...

Amanda Resch, do you even ride, bro?

All of these negative Tweetings must have you off your game, Wildcat, 'cause your recent article in the Outside was kinda' wooden.

Anonymous said...

We thought it would be an asteroid, a plague, or nuclear war that would bring our civilization to its knees. Nope... it's fucking facebook. May the gods have mercy on us.

Anonymous said...

What kind of riding is Amanda Resch even doing, to average just under 7 miles a ride?

Serial Retrogrouch said...

...oh, man... i'm gon jizz my pants today... it's Friday... there's a quiz... there's a chick named Amanda who got owned... and Outside column is all about wood...

...wait, wait... my joke should not be taken out of context, and it has nothing to do with real life. I'm not actually going to touch myself while i'm still in the office... certainly not while people are around.

...and go and ride safe. it's going to be so cold, you'll need nipple warmers.

HDEB said...

Another beautiful and witty post : ). From what I can gather from your internet persona you have a great life. You are a skilled writer who has been recently published in the esteemed Washington Post, you get to test $315 handlebars and $10,000 bikes, you spend time with your family, go bikeen frequently, live in upstate NYC and you are promoting forward thinking policies/infrastructure in a fun way. BTW, I am a robot but can prove that I am not a robot. Please keep up the good work!

janinedm said...

I stopped mid post because I had to immediately comment that that side-by-side Strava comparison was SAVAGE and if I weren't at work, I'd be clapping. Snob!!!!

Grump said...

Snobby, did anyone make a comment about the "failing" Outside Magazine????? It's Hilarious that some people get all bent out of shape when you make some humorous comment (but that's America today) PS. Most educated conservatives agree that "the phone thing" is a little silly.

leroy said...

Oh great. I had a cover of Waylon Jenning's version of "Amanda" all teed up for karaoke night. Now, it just seems silly to me:

"I've held it all inward, God knows, I've tried,
But it's an awful awakening in a country boy's life,
To look in the mirror in total surprise.
At the hair on my shoulders and the age in my eyes....

Ride safe all!

And if anyone saw my dog and me today on the Williamsburg Bridge, I apologize for his performance of the King Lear storm soliloquy ("Blow, winds, and crack your cheeks! Rage! Blow!).

Sometimes, he's such a drama queen.

But I can't complain that he never has some place nice to ride.

(If anyone remembers the part of the Gran Fondon't pre-ride after we crossed the Saw Mill Parkway and climbed a little hill, can you tell me what road we went down before turning onto the private road that led to a nice little pond? We couldn't find the private road last weekend. And now my dog is insisting it wasn't Beacon Hill Road.)

bad boy of the south said...

Glad you're enjoying Woodrow. almost aced the test.missed by that much.

Ttension too detail said...

Testing Jones H-bar, SG(straight gauge)aluminum. 710mm width.Approx. $75.00.

leroy said...

My dog, having read Mr. BSNYC's Outside piece, insists we need wooden bikes.

He claims if I fall off a wooden bike in a forest and no one hears me, that means I didn't make the embarrassing ouchy-ouchy gotta boo boo noises I always make.

He seemed convincing, but I can't shake the feeling I'm being set up for a bunch of dead wood observations.

BikeSnobNYC said...


I believe the road you mean is Cyrus Field Road. The private road is just as you pass the Irvington Reservoir.

--Wildcat Etc.

Unknown said...

Sr. Snob,

I also know what it's like to get paragraphs of scorn from someone who thinks differently ...

Good to see you shredded her!


Serial Retrogrouch said...

...holy crap, man. what is this Bookface universe? if that is a representation of our country, then we have gone to $hit already. If you didn't know anything about this country and read the Outside article, then read the comments, you'd think the majority of this country is humorless twats who have sawdust for brains. they don't get a joke and they don't get the point of the article.

...but since i live in this country, i know it not to be a fact. Conclusion: FB is all made up by Russians.

leroy said...

Ahh, so Ogden Ave to Ashford Ave to Northfield Ave to Cyrus Field Ave?

Last weekend, I took Beacon Hill Road to Ashford and then west to Dobbs Ferry.

Still lovely ride up South County trail and back via Croton Aqueduct trail.

Bikeboy said...

Wow! What a unique bicycle! I expect the "Outside" comments to uniformly positive this week. Yeah... gotta get me one of them Huffy Metaloids! (What did you think I was talkin' about?)

Olle Nilsson said...

Amanda just cares about you and wants to mold you into the blogger that she knows you're capable of being. Me? I'd just move on and find something else to read. Yeah, 10-1/2 years of Craigslist mockery? I'd be gone 7-1/2 years ago.

Pretty sure the answer to #3 is "Dunno". At least for me it is.

Every time I see that wooden unicycle I crave cheese steak. Stop it already.

Pointless Friday introspection: why am I too self conscious to use a helmet mirror / glasses mirror on my Brompton? I mean, haven't I already past the point of no return on the dignity front?

Crosspalms said...

Well, Amanda's certainly barking up the wrong tree. Anybody can see you've been branching out, turning over a new leaf, exploring your roots, going against the grain ... I better go now.

Olle Nilsson said...

Just read your Outside article and I find it not only offensive to my choice of footwear, but far too punny. Go back to writing about Craigslist ads already.

NYCHighwheeler said...

Wait wait wait!

Did someone from Rhode Island just say the trails we built around here suck?

You live and ride in Rhode Island. You think the trails around here "suck".

Maybe she didn't like our trails because they were not flat and sandy enough?

Ok, I'm not saying there are no great trails in RI, I have enjoyed some mtb rides there. But if you are from RI, you are not really in a position to get all judgemental about other peoples trail networks.

Hee Haw the barista said...


Lieutenant Oblivious said...

Snob you're gonna love Paso Robles if you go to L'Eroica California. Some of those private dirt roads through the wineries are tough. Keep that in mind when selecting the proper period-correct steed low gears, bigger tires and of course deciding #whatpressureyourunnin!

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

Would that it were that I knew what a wood bike weighs. At least in general terms - under 25 lbs? Over 30lbs?

Dooth said...

Amanda's got the hots for Wildcat. And so does Liz from his TA blog. Their antagonism is an obvious sublimation of unrequited love.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Dear aptly-named LT. Obvious, wasn't Pose Robles mostly burned up in the recent wildfires?

You don't need a weatherman to tell which way the wind blows...

Kramer said...

Jerry, these pretzels are making me thirsty.

biketheak said...

Thank you. The grey poop on tickled me from jump.

bad boy of the south said...

Amanda is a bike mechanic?

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

Wishiwasmerckx it looks like there were 2 wildfires in San Luis Obispo County in 2017, the Hill and Alamo fires, but none in Paso. The area North of San Francisco was hit much harder, Levi Leipheimer lost his home in Santa Rosa, among many thousands of others.

Thecheetah said...

I believe it’s just under 20 lbs. it is a hollow wood frame.

Woody Woodpecker said...

Has the wood bike been tested for resistance to Woodypeckers (like Roy Moore)?

Hey, Amanda - he went to PHILADELPHIA didn't he!

Anonymous said...

Epoxy is more associated with contact dermatitis than getting high. Though I suppose if you got your face right in some hot curing epoxy... polyester resins and particularly the styrene solvents used to thin them are more psychoactive. Bamboo itself, of course, is useful if you need to quickly improv a bong.

I've been digging the Outside pieces, more than the fixie bashing of 2008, funny though that was. I wonder how long Outside will put up with it? I was sort of disappointed the word "zen" didn't appear anywhere in the bit about rigid mountain bikes.

Vladimir Ilich Putin said...

The Capitalists will sell us the wooden bikes that we invade them on.

PS: Are the bikes fireproof? If no, cancel our order.

JLRB said...

Don't leaf me this way

Paul Heckbert said...

Sounds like Snob is pretty proud to show off his wood.

Anonymous said...

Exactly Bieks, thank you. I love Snob but the Outside articles are not doing it for me, The vitriol I see in this post is exactly what I want to see more of. But now I understand why the Outside articles are necessary, the quality of this post is exceptional.

-Amanda Resch

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry if that came across as a judgement against NYC trails, I'm sure they are awesome. I meant it solely as a judgement against Snob. And if we're being honest, a rigid bike is fine for most of RI.

-Amanda Resch

Nerduro said...

I've finally figured out what it takes to get your attention Snob. I've been sitting here, in the peanut gallery, writing you the occasional love letter for the past 10 years. Nothing. I write a shitty throwaway facebook comment calling you old and I get an entire blog post about me (well, really about you, but kind of about me)

Let's go drive 2 hours to hop over logs together for 40 minutes sometime.

Hugs and Kisses,


Nerduro said...

Well no shit, Dooth. I mean, doesn't everybody?