(Not my kid. When my kid's sick he gets really pissed off and goes for your nuts.)
That meant I had to go pick him up, because a sick kid can't properly assemble the new iPhone X and it's a real drain on productivity.
Worst part is they dock his wages, and at $.15 an hour that's really gonna hurt my family's bottom line.
As for my productivity, it looks like that's going right out the window now that I've got to put on the Parenting Smock:
(Daddy's parenting smock gets results.)
Rest assured I'll strive to get this operation back on track, but in the meantime the Bike Forecast is updated and available for your perusal, and you can read about how the city of West Haven, CT is banning "reckless and dangerous" cycling in an attempt to outlaw kids on bikes:
See, this sort of thing is going on all up and down the East Coast:
And it's driving the squares crazy.
Anyway, that's all from me for now, but I'll certainly see you back here by tomorrow at the latest.
Thanks for understanding, and if you don't understand then you're always welcome to go fuck youself.
I love you,
--Wildcat Rock Machine
Anyway, that's all from me for now, but I'll certainly see you back here by tomorrow at the latest.
Thanks for understanding, and if you don't understand then you're always welcome to go fuck youself.
I love you,
--Wildcat Rock Machine
39 comments:
Podium!
First
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weed.
weed.
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Best wishes to the health of the little one.
Good that you pulled him out of the Apple Factory though. They only teach flat-earth and creationism over there.
(BTW, hope that's not blood on the parenting smock).
damn. missed the breakaway.
Watched the video and still finished in the top 10. Didn't that used to be called freestyling?
It's been a while, what did I miss? Hope your kid gets better soon, I need a new phone.
Seems like whenever I decide to do some work the day's blog is posted so I miss the podium!
eed-way! our-fay oo-tay oh-way! ig-pay atin-lay!
Suck suck sucker!
Wasting away in the mystery.well,love ya too, get well,kid.
Scranus.
Just happy to be here...
Veronica Corningstone looks like someone just put it in the wrong hole.
I've got a cold. Wait... Does that mean that I'm Wildcat's long lost son?!?
Could your spousal unit start sharing the load?
Youre always neglecting us in favor of those (17) brats.
Get the unit to tend to the spawn or teach said unit how to snark!
Please?
#whaddayathinkimpayingyoufor
whatsoupyourunnin?
...so that you have more time to take care of the little one, I won't post any comments... after this one.
...speedy recovery to the little bugger, and don't catch anything from him, lest you end up working at the Apple factory to make up lost revenue.
That's the thing Bill Cosby skipped over in his books on fatherhood, just how often the little tykes will kick you in the nuts. That and feeding the au pair roofies.
vsk said ...
I hope little kiddie gets better soon!
As for the Sscchmock ... REDRUM !! REDRUM!!
And ah, hurricane, just another excuse not to ride.
vsk
nice tricks and no dick brake. how does he do it.
Literally, the last 5-6 times I've visited your blog you've just completed a post about how you won't be posting or you're taking a break for a spell. It's comical now and I use it as a laugh. I just popped-over to see what the excuse was today... HaHa!
Seriously though, hope your kids gets well soon.
I need to improve my wheelie skills.
Huh? What?
Anonymous 5:15pm,
I write more than any sane person could ever want to read so I'll choose to be flattered you think I'm shirking somehow.
--Wildcat Etc.
Best wishes for a speedy recovery for your kiddo!
See, Snob? I told you you'd feel sorry if Anonymous really quit coming by. Thanks for not breaking all our hearts, Anonymous!
I enjoyed your use of "squares", by the way, Snob. Scheiss-spiessern!
Moderate this! {insert obscene gesture here}
So I miss one day (yesterday) and you write one of the best posts of your career. I tune in today and your kid is sick.
My dog wondered if I'm bad luck and suggested I stop reading.
He offered to read your blog to me on a time delay and comment in my place.
He assures me that outside of the vast improvement in my prose, no one will know the difference.
I told him that'd be fine, but we'd have to change his name to "Lucky."
That shut him up.
Hope your kid feels better fast.
After years of threatening to jump the shark, or expressing that same might have happened, you have well and truly done it.
Not funny, really. Bit sad.
Anonymous 1:55am,
People have been leaving nearly identical comments pretty much as long as I've been writing this blog. Bit sad indeed. When you get enough momentum in life to jump anything do pop back in and let us know.
--Wildcat Etc.
...Snob @6:35 PM, did you just inadvertently call the commentariat insane?
...I need to find me a psychiatrist!
...I hope it wasn't your kid kept you up at 2AM in the morning.
Speaking of jumping things and life, BMX guy is cool.
For those in the unawares, BMX is the last bastion of anything resembling skilled bike handling, unless you start putting motors into the equation.
Don't wreck it, assholes.
Jumping the shark.
Yeah, they've been leaving those comments for years.
Feedback from readers. Hilarious! Screw them, right? I mean, this is only your business, your avocation, your life.
So, sure, ignore us.
Devote your time to OutSSide magazine and a weather blog that simply restates what might be found in any of a dozen spots.
So, I will get back to you when I jump something.
Where will I find you? Dodging another entry here? Restating Weather Underground? Writing for an indifferent, wholly different, but equally tiny audience on Outside?
But, be cool, Eben. After all, people have been writing this for years. This is nothing.
the one with the ladie's bike will be going down harder because he has no helmet. Hence cross bar bikes are safer.
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