Sorry I'm Late, But I Suck At Bikes

This morning I endeavored to perform some much-needed and long-deferred maintenance on my WorkCycles FR8:

Mainly, the bike needed:

1) New tires;

2) Brake fluid (yes, those are hydraulic rim brake--or, in Craigslist speak, "hydrolic rime breaks").

Now as you know, I make a point of doing my own bike repairs, in spite of the fact I am hopelessly inept:

So with a fistful of tools and a head full of ineptitude, I went to work.

First, I set about replacing the tires.  This is a bit more complicated than it seems, because unlike your standard-issue Fred bike you've got to undo about 90 things on the WorkCycles in order to remove the rear wheel.  (Fenders, chain cases, and internal hubs are delightfully convenient until you've got to liberate the wheel from them.)

Next I moved onto the brakes.  The front was much improved when I got done with it.  The rear was not, and if anything it was worse.  Indeed, nothing I did seemed to restore power to it, and eventually I was forced to give up because I was reaching that dangerous point where I find myself seriously considering ghost-riding the bike down a hill and never looking at it again.

Of course at this juncture any sane person would wheel the bike in to the nearest bike shop, but it just so happens the nearest bike shop isn't particularly near so it makes copping out and outsourcing the job less convenient than it seems.  Plus, I feel that I must see this thing through one way or anthers, and perhaps with some time spent away from the bike and a few YouTube tutorials I'll get the issue sorted out.

As for the brakes, if you're wondering, they're these:

If you have experience with these things feel free to bloviate in the comments below.

"So why hydrolic rime breaks anyway?," you may be wondering.  Well, that's just how the bike was specced, and theoretically a sealed system like this should result in less maintenance for a bike that lives outside in all seasons.  (Cables tend to rust an seize, you know.)  Plus, with all its racks and accessories I suspect the WorkCycles benefits from a braking system that can tolerate sharp angles in cable routing.  And then there's the fact that it's a heavy bike that needs lots of stopping power, though it seems to me that a rime break is a rime break and you can reach maximum stopping power regardless of what's pushing the pad against the rim.  

But what do I know.

I should also disclose that I've been considering "downgrading" to a cable-operated system for some time, and if I can't sort this issue out soon I may very well do just that.  (Sure, cables seize, but replacing them is like a five minute job and it doesn't require tubing and comically oversized hypodermic needles either.)  Rest assured I'll deep you apprised.  And in the meantime will I be hauling my children around town with only one (1) brake?

Probably.

Hey, Sheldon Brown says that's all you need anyway.

Anyway, the real revelation is that I need a goddamn garage:

(Random image I found on the Internet.  Want credit?  You take a lovely picture.  There's your credit.)

Sure, having a building basement to work in and a storage cage to cram all my bike crap into means I'm more fortunate than like 90% of New Yorkers, but it's times like these when I fantasize about a lavish work area with natural light and enough space to see everything I own at the same time.

This of course then leads me down the path of saying "Fuck it, I'm moving to the country," but it's this mighty metropolis from which our family earns its living, and alas were we to unlatch ourselves from its teat we'd surely shrivel up and waste away in short order.

Speaking of our lovely city, I suggest you check the latest Bike Forecast, where you can read all about how Bicycling gave the most annoying cyclist in New York City a great big shout-out:

And how our mayor's a whiny putz who panders to the motoring class:

.@NYCMayor, who doesn't bike, answered unsafe infra concerns by saying it's untrue, blaming the victim, and excusing w/ 'too much traffic' pic.twitter.com/xzHzlprKR3

— Jonathan Warner (@Jaxbot) September 27, 2017

Hey, guess what, Bill?  You're a public servant, you don't get to resent shit.

And finally, speaking of Bicycling, it looks like its parent company, Rodale, is being bought by Hearst:

The surviving Rodalians are said to be rejoicing that Hearst appears to have beaten Meredith in the bidding war. “Hearst is the only publishing company to actually come to Emmaus [the remote Pennsylvania town Rodale calls home] to try to learn about the corporate culture,” said one source close to the company.

“They spoke with editors and wanted to learn about their process and their vision for their brands . . . Meredith showed up and was only interested in the bottom line. Didn’t speak to a single editor.”

I have no idea what this means for Bicycling, but Hearst was very brave to travel to Emmaus, a place from which few people have ever returned.