Wednesday, September 13, 2017

It's Wednesday, And You Know What That Means! (It means tomorrow's Thursday.)

Firstly, I'd like to thank the New York Cycling Club for inviting me to speak at their monthly membership meeting last night:

Which took place at a pub in Times Square:

Not only did I meet a lot of great people, but I also got two (2) beers out of it--plus an entire plate of food!

Hey, when you're a bike blogger you've got to learn how to live hand to mouth, and I'm not above ranting for my supper.

So what did the NYCC get in return?  Well, they got to hear me browbeat them for using the phrase "On your left," the abolition of said phrase being perhaps the pettiest and most quixotic of the many frivolous causes I champion:

Then to add insult to injury, they got to spend money for a copy of my book, which I further devalued by signing.

In ten (10) years of bike blogging I've given my share of talks to groups of bikey people, and without fail I'm always stricken by the graciousness and good cheer of the cycling community, and by the subsequent revelation that most of my criticisms of it apply entirely to myself--well, me and that maniac who yelled at me on the GWB last week for no reason.

I still don't know what happened there.

Oh, and while I'm sure they're all lovely people, every time I pass a Rapha group ride the right-wing aesthetic of people with matching armbands cycling in unison really creeps me out.

(It can't just be me.)

Anyway, my neuroses aside, it so happens that the NYCC is holding their annual Escape New York ride this Saturday, so if you're looking to take part in a two-wheeled exodus with a group of like-minded individuals then this is something you should look into:

I'd love to join myself, but these days I'm lucky if I can escape my block, so I don't know if it's gonna happen.  I'm also beyond remiss in curating another BSNYC Gran Fondon't--or for that matter curating the photos submitted by participants in this past spring's BSNYC BOOMB*! Pre-Fondon't, which featured at least one destroyed derailleur and an impromptu portaging section which I threw in there just to keep everyone honest and weed out the road cleats:

*[Beers on Old Man Brooks]

Rest assured however that I will recap that ride.  Not only that, but since so much time has gone by there will be plenty of room for fabrication, and it will doubtless take on epic proportions.  As for the Fondon't itself, I'm liable to spring that on you at any time.  Maybe I'll wait until the foliage is peaking.  Or, more likely, maybe I'll wait until I have a free weekend and the conditions seem favorable.  I've also been flirting with the idea of incorporating a barbecue, but to be totally honest I don't think I have the wherewithal to implement a plan so ambitious.  But who knows?

Regardless, I'll keep you posted.

Speaking of the almost stomach-churning goodness of the cycling community, I recently received an email from a reader in Washington (state) who asked me to share the following fundraiser, which I'm more than happy to do:

On September 10, 2017, The Major Taylor Project (MTP) had about 40 bicycles stolen* (valued at $50,000) from a storage container located at iDEA High School in Tacoma, WA.  MTP is an important program that "empowers youth from diverse communities through bicycling...students establish healthy habits, build relationships, gain confidence and discover their ability to affect positive change. "  MTP club locations are intentionally established to reach youth in low-income and diverse neighborhoods and can be found in middle- and high school throughout King and Pierce counties. They reach more than 500 students annually, where many test their skills and perseverance by biking 206 miles from Seattle to Portland on the annual STP. 

*UPDATE:  The number of bikes stolen is confirmed to be about 31, valued at about $25,000.

These bikes were stolen from our community and more importantly, from children.  These bicycles gave students the opportunity to:
* Go on weekly bike rides and explore their communities
* Learn about bicycle safety and maintenance
* Be a mechanism for advocating positive change in the community
* Receive training and leadership skills to assist and participate in bicycling events 

So if you're inclined to help out please do, because everyone deserves the opportunity to go on to a life of total Fred-dom.  I'd stop short of buying them Garmins though, because our society is clearly developing an overreliance on GPS as it is:

Gabriel Bishop of Sellersville, Bucks County, at 10:37 p.m. Saturday was driving on a bike path, running along the Lehigh River and parallel to Canal Street. Police said he was following a GPS unit, which led Bishop to drive onto the bike path from Hugh Moore Park.

Bishop then allegedly tried to reverse west on the bike path when he realized he couldn't head east any longer because the car couldn't fit under the South Third Street bridge.

Bishop was unable to stay on the bike path when it narrowed and the car rolled off into the river, landing on the driver's side, according to police. Investigators found the vehicle a quarter mile west from the South Third Street bridge.

I'm going to go ahead and assume that Gabriel Bishop of Sellersville, Bucks County selected the little bike icon on the Google Maps.

See, a lot of motorists think that menu is so they can choose which road user they want to kill, but it's actually directions specific to that particular road user, and therefore your well-intentioned murder plot is liable to backfire.

Finally, what's worse than Lucas Brunelle crashing your group ride?

(Lucas Brunelle: Schmuck On Wheels)

Some guy crashing your group ride on a stupid motorbike:

The salient moment is at around 3:10, and all I know is that this guy and Lucas Brunelle should definitely start riding together, because they'd make great skitch buddies.


wle said...

1:52 PM NO COMMENTS//No comments yet. -
1 – 0 of 0//No comments yet. -
1 – 0 of 0//No comments yet. -
1 – 0 of 0// potential podium! // wle

Unknown said...

Podius Maximus!

Bill said...

Adios en lago!

boys on the hoods said...

top 5

Colin Wilson said...


Colin Wilson said...

No pod. Je suis dans etc. etc.

leroy said...

Dear Mr. BSNYC - Please leave out of the recap of the pre-Fondon't the part where I wrestled the bear. The bear started it, but that's no excuse.

I regret any unpleasantness this may have caused anyone.

I mean anyone other than the bear. He totally had it coming.

Unknown said...

That bike option on Google maps would give this driver a greater chance to murder cyclists if used judiciously.

Grump said...

"On your Left"?????? That's so 00's......I usually yell either "Ramming Speed", or "Outta my way, #!!*&$"...... You make all sorts of new "pretend" friends, that way.

Serial Retrogrouch said...

...speaking about organizing a FonDont and how Manchild LB crashes rides where he's not welcome, one can't help but wonder if he will crash the FonDont.

JLRB said...

Some people

Grump said...

Is Brunelle really that much of a Dick???? The best way to handle this is to just do your ride (at 13mph) until he gets pizzed and leaves.

grog said...

I once had a bike stolen, it was worth $100.
On second thought my stolen bike was valued at $1,000.
I had my stolen bike appraised at $45,000.

Anonymous said...

Is there a contest for biggest tool ever? If so, LB gets my vote.

Schmuck is too kind said...

It is amusing to read the comments on Brunelle's vid: Massive Fucking Baby, Prick, Dickhead, spoiled baby, numerous "Grow Up" comments, "You honestly need to get hit by a car and die".....

Anonymous said...

Brunelle is just mildy annoying; I am not sure what "Chaos" they were referring to, but typically if somebody has gone through the effort to actually tell you they don't want you to participate; they've probably been dropping hint's for some time already & you're just to stupid to recognize a clue! Honestly, I don't know who he is, but I would just tell everyone who shows up to scatter if he shows up & reconvene 15 minutes latter in another locale. I think he's just trying to populate his youtube channel and any type of content is fine, even if it makes him look like a tool.
The guy (GROM?) on the motor bike is more alarming, because he's obviously not very smart, but he thinks he is. He thinks he's clowning the cyclist, when in reality he only showing how dumb he is.
I admire those roadies for having the Cajones' to ride down the shoulder/ right side of the road with a Semi less then a foot from their handlebar, but it also shows a large amount of ignorance, looks like a great way to get killed. - masmojo

Anonymous said...

LB has the social skills of a toad. Wait, toads are so much more personable.
He is what we Brits refer to as a twit of the first order.

The King of Park Slope said...

Moderate comment.

(Did I do that right?)

bad boy of the south said...

Bikey ride, possible bbq and beverages?sounds like a fondon'terfest to me.

dancesonpedals said...

And now for something completely different: a folding fatbike with a child seat.

Anonymous said...

Dear Snob, if at all possible, please delay the Fondon't until I have recovered from appearing from nowhere (with flashing lights ablaze) in front of a Toyota Corolla last Wednesday. I am very sore now but I hope to be able to ride again in 2-3 weeks

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

15 approved comments at 6:26? Could I still be top 20? I hope the Grand Fondon't don't occur in October when I'll be away for most of the month!

Dooth said...

Skitching? Sounds like an itchy Scranus!

bad boy of the south said...

Sorry to see anon@607p

bad boy of the south said...

A folding electric chubby's ok, I'm chubby,too.

Knüt Fredriksson said...

25,000 bikes valued at $31 each? What are they, like keychain sized? Is that program really just child labor to make cheap trinkets?
Just kidding. Sounds like a great program...

BamaPhred said...

Lol. My feelings were hurt because Snob "moderated" my Lucas Brunelle comment, then I realized I never hit publish. It's all ok. My grandmother always said it was ok to be poor and ignorant, but it didn't cost a red cent to be clean and polite. So I guess she is still looking out for me.

bad boy of the south said...

"now,go home and get your effen shinebox"

sweatpants cyclist said...

Give me an L!
Give me an E!
Give me an F!
Give me a T!
What's that spell?
Left! Left! I'm on your left!

You know where I'm gonna be?
On your left! Yeah, I'm on your left!

Anonymous said...

reductio ad absurdum would add, "i'm not on your right". not so popular.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Are you gonna review that wood bike?

BikeSnobNYC said...


They still haven't sent it to me.

--Wildcat Etc.

The Old Perfesser said...

Still enjoying my brand-new gravel specific crabon bike with the dick breaks, and am increasingly amazed that I didn't suffer instant death when attempting to ride my non-gravel-specific bike on gravel. How did I ever manage? It's a mystery!