A brief dispatch today because of things and the doing of things that I have to do

Further to yesterday's post, in which I mentioned the Freds who went out for hurricane repeats:

A commenter commented thusly:

Bob said...

The bunny hopping Fred in Ukraine kit is apparently Lucas Brunelle.

September 12, 2017 at 6:47 AM

"Ha ha," I thought, until I looked into it, and guess what?

Come ride with us on Sunday on the beach for the tailwind of your life #miamisucksdontcome #rushracingteam @origin8cycling @kogel_bearings @mackcycleandfitness @cristianopiquet @cinelliusa @cinelli_official

A post shared by Lucas Brunelle (@lucasbrunelle) on Sep 8, 2017 at 10:02am PDT

Oh for chrissakes.

Yes, it would appear Brunelle's attention-seeking disorder must have flared up, because prior to that he'd only been stirring up trouble in the suburbs:

I just love getting pulled over by suburban police for skitching #rushracingteam @cristianopiquet @cinelli_official

A post shared by Lucas Brunelle (@lucasbrunelle) on Aug 25, 2017 at 10:14am PDT

After that I assume they headed over to the mall, where they drew askance glances from patrons for using naughty words while hanging out in the food court.

It's rare that I take the driver's point of view on this blog, but imagine for a moment you're taking the kids to soccer practice in the SUV or whatever it is suburbanites do, only to glance in your mirror and discover mischeivous manboy Lucas Brunelle clinging limpet-like to your Hyundai wearing that stupid camera helmet of his:

Objects in mirror may be dumber than they appear.

In other news, still no word on the wooden bicycle I'm waiting for, though one person on the Twitter had an interesting theory as to why that is:

@bikesnobnyc
Maybe you haven't got your ride yet, because they're still aging the scotch.https://t.co/d8r6VyDnPw

— (((Jerry))) (@gwhilts) September 12, 2017

Finally, a bike that answers the question #whatmaltyourunning?

“The American oak from which Glenmorangie makes its casks is a great wood,” said Renovo founder, Ken Wheeler. “Its engineering properties are ideal for bikes, as hard woods have a high stiffness.

“For us, the only aspect that was different was the shape of the staves, which have a curve to them, and the fact that they were a little damp, after spending years with whisky inside them… which, by the way, made them smell pretty good. Although, we have to admit to whisky fans, the scent has now diminished.”

Now Freds too can experience the pleasure of trying to explain to the arresting officer that they were not in fact drinking.

Finally, Lennard Zinn continues to answer those pressing questions:

Firstly, arguably they should have asked Mario Cipollini instead:

("You know what they say about riders with big shoes, don't you?")

Yes, Mario.  We get it.  They say they have large penises.  Okay?

Secondly, is the person who asked the question actually serious?

Dear Lennard,
I can’t help but notice that some of the taller riders, Chris Froome among them, seem to have unusually big/long feet and shoes. This is not limited to Froome or even riders tall in stature, and it appears to be disproportional. My question is, from a biomechanics and physics standpoint, does this offer riders greater leverage and power with the increased length? If so, would this encourage riders to wear larger shoes than they would off of the bike, given the improvements in stiffness and weight of carbon soles. Finally, should the UCI regulate shoe size “fudging?” (I know that last question might raise the ire of some readers.) Again, I am not signaling out Chris Froome; to me the phenomenon across the peloton raised the question in my head.
— Joe

No, Joe.  No they should not.