Friday, August 18, 2017

Hiatus Interruptus #2:

[DISHEVELED BLOGGER IN HAWAIIAN SHIRT SHUFFLES IN]

Just ducking back in to let you know my latest for Outside is now available for your perusal!



It's just the thing to help you waste what's left of your Friday afternoon.

I only hope Sarah Bell of Colorado likes it as much as she liked my last column:


Something tells me she will.

Anyway, that's it from me.  Enjoy and ride safe!  And rest assured I'll be back when I've got something else to flog.

Now back to the hiatus.

[SHUFFLES OUT WHILE SIPPING MAI TAI]



--Wildcat Rock Machine


58 comments:

BamaPhred said...

Cool
Does this count as a podiodio?
I'll take it anyway

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

2nd Hiatic Scranus, these Hiatus Podiums are too hard!

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

PS, Mai Tai means "the best." I approve, not that it matters.

N/A said...

Mai Tai Freds want to know
#WHATRUMYOURUNNING

Old Timer said...

Huh? What?

McFly said...

Adventure bike, eh? I can't stop looking at Adventure Touring BiMotorcycles on the Craigslist.

Suzuki V Strom, KTM, BMW, KLR650....the list is long and distingushed, like my johnson.

theEel said...

weeeeeeeed.

Matt said...

Wow, ANOTHER great article Snobby! I hope you're bringing in some serious coin for your writing talents! And enjoy what's left of your hi-atius.

Steve Bannon said...

Hello I must be going.

Spokey said...


a nice 10 spot

Spokey said...


got another flatter today. usually one every two or three years. now two in one week. worse i pulled out my spare tube and accccckkkkk. it was a schrader. Good thing i carry two tubes. Arrrrrrggggggghhhh. The second is a schrader too. so i walked me bike to the municipal building and waited for spousy to come out and cart me home. lucky for me spousy was there doing whatever mysterious stuff spousies do several times a week at the municipal building and i flatted only about a 1/4 mile from the place.

Beerfueled said...

McFly:

I ride a BMW F800 GS., my first motorcycle, and later in life. Years of bicycle cycling helped me become a better motorcyclingist. Picking lines in turns, heightened awareness of the road and everything around you, that feeling of being on two wheels and fully engaged in what you are doing. So many similarities. Another one: So little time to ride all those rides. Adventuring bikes mean lots of new opportunities.

Spokey said...

out of curiosity

if you hiatus your hiatus, do you go blind?

Anonymous said...

Pertaining to Sarah CO:

"On your left" is very popular here.
There's a weird kind of passive aggressive friendliness here. Most people will wave, or say hi when they hear it. Some people will edge to the right side of the trail, indicating they heard you and want nothing to do with you and/or are extremely afraid of people who are willing to say something to them.

The only issue I have with it is that it may be discriminatory towards those with auditory issues, as the occasional Grams and Gramps tend to be the ones acting pissed about someone passing them 'without warning'.

Of course, they're also the ones that get away with continually running stop signs and lights on bikes, so I really never feel that sorry for them...

Pist Off said...

Yeah I'll second that opinion about passing others in Front Range Colorado. Most riders say "on your left" and pedestrians have come to expect it. Sarah Bell seems to have misread your dentist magazine column. You just suggested different communication options. It's uncommon but definitely happens that some people freak the fuck out if you didn't notify them in their approved way. Oh well. A bell helps, at least in my experience.

Beerfueled said...

"On your left" is effective some of the time, sometimes confuses people, and some get pissed off whatever you do. Bells too. Coming back from watching the Colorado Classic near Golden last Saturday on the Clear Creek trail: After ringing a bell and passing him very slowly, Angry Man with two dogs on long leashes says,"You're supposed to say, 'On your left'". After reminding him about the the bell that was rung, he says, "A bell doesn't mean shit to me." Meaning that's all he could come up with. There's not much you can do about that except for just moving along and trying not to let that ruin an otherwise very nice time out on the bike. I'm trying to get better about that.

Anonymous said...

Vandwelling and bicycles at SXSW.
I'm in the best parking spot. One of my all-time favorites. I have a bicycle. I am The King.

My parking spot... this spot...

I can have the doors open and be drinking wine there while I cook quinoa and listen to that chopped and screwed Jidenna track. The doors open up to a big empty grassy lot. Any day; any hour. There are a few other vanners sprinkled in along these two blocks. A couple small RVs and some girls who sleep under a truck cap. I'm a five minute bicycle ride to the proper downtown area. Shit's getting wild there at night. You can sit on the crowd barriers and talk to people. You can watch people go by. Sometimes a guy will pass you his blunt. Mostly you sit and wonder how you're there.

I ride my bicycle like it's a hang glider. I cut around traffic like it's an obstacle standing still. Sometimes I don't ride at all - I stand with my left foot on the right pedal and coast along at pedestrian speed. Sometimes I sit sideways on the top tube - I cross my legs, and glide. Music is in every direction. I cruise slowly for blocks.

When it's time to go, I SPRINT! I can't imagine life without a bicycle. I can't imagine cabs and trying to park close. I can't imagine walking for twenty minutes when a bicycle gets there in two. I can't stand walking near people on the sidewalk. I can't understand them, and I can't handle the pace.

I fucking hate some cars and their driver's overblown sense of entitlement. People try to drive close and tell you where to be on the road. Mostly I ride as fast as the cars. Give me some fucking space. I'm sorry to hear about your failed attempts at living. Killing me won't help.

I wrote a song about how it is to be bicycling:

Fuck Your Cars!

Fuck your fuckin' car.
Fuck your car, you stupid dick.

Yes I know I also drive a car!


Somebody has gotta yell those lyrics while stabbing a guitar with a fork. Yeah, man. I'm calm.
Im Chris Harne. 747-444-1076.

Anonymous said...

I can't believe you're there and I'm not.

David Merle said...

I read your Outside magazine about "On your left" with great satisfaction. I have to bike through the Old Putnam Trail in Van Cortlandt Park every workday and it is such a narrow dirt trail that conflict with runners is almost inevitable. I was passing a woman very respectfully and slowly when she mumbled something at me. As soon as she mumbled I knew she was a self-righteous member of the Van Cortlandt Track club (did they lay down cash-money for Van Cortlandt Park and now own it?). We talked a little and of course, she wanted to lecture me on the proper etiquette for passing runners in Van Cortlandt Park (and everywhere). It tried to be polite but really I wanted to give her the Bronx cheer.

BikeSnobNYC said...

David Merle,

Thanks! I ride through there very often as that's my backyard. Oddly it's the one place I've never had an issue.

--Wildcat Etc.

Beldar said...

Ahh, Mai Tai, I will enjoy it!

dop said...

I've never said "On your left" on the Putnam in VCP. As David said, it's really narrow. In places where there's room for a clean pass, you'd wind up riding over old railroad ties or through deepest mud if you tried to go around. I usually slow down to a walking pace, say hello, and the jogger/dogwalker/birdwatcher moves over a foot to let me pass. I say thank you and they ignore me.

For real fun, try driving the back streets of Sleepy Hollow NY. There are some roads that are 3 lanes wide, with parking on both sides. Whoever has room to pull over gets out of the way and lets the other driver pass. In 15 years, if never had a harsh word or glance with another driver.

Anonymous said...

The problem with the bike is the same as with the guitar, at least culturally. It's so accessible and versatile that there's too many people who can claim to know what they're talking about or think their niche interest is mainstream. This is all to say, some dude spent 20% of a business dinner telling me about the road bikes and the titanium bikes he owned and videos of other people riding bikes that I should watch, and it was about interesting as talking about Yngwe Malmstein. "Oh yeah, he's great... Yup, pretty fast." But there's also people like the Outside commenter above, who I bet rides some weekends when its dry certain times of the year and considers herself serious, but is really like someone who thinks they're a lead guitarist because they can pretty much get through the intro of "Wish You Were Here." I know this is weird to say in the comment section of a cycling blog I frequent, but I wish people would shut up and do the thing they do.

janinedm said...

I say "on your left" if the cyclist has a Trek or a Specialized...when in Rome and all. I'm more conversant with others like "Hey, do you mind if I pass you on your X side?" or "When things open up, I'm going to pass you on your X side." It's usually the left, but when in traffic, I think the person passing should pass on the traffic side whichever side that is.

janinedm said...

...I think I misused conversant... conversational.

Anonymous said...

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2017/aug/21/bike-sharing-scheme-san-francisco-gentrification-vandalism?utm_source=esp&utm_medium=Email&utm_campaign=GU+Today+USA+-+Collections+2017&utm_term=240353&subid=23491832&CMP=GT_US_collection



Yet another take on bike shares, lol.

1904 Cadardi said...

I've only read the opener of your Outsideway article which by internet convention makes me qualified to render judgement. So to your question "Has the sun finally set on road riding?" I answer "No". Also, I've had many adventures on my "road" bike. Some intentional, some not.

What pressure is appropriate during the eclipse? 93% here, so should it go up or down?

Anonymous said...

Sunday
settling in
on the first rainy day in may, it's time to envision the next stage of life here in hawaii. i have the urge to dig deep, to commit, to rededicate myself to massage and bodywork. it is my gift, one of them at least, and the one that is most accessible. i have three more days at abundant life, and i've decided after that to work on building a practice, getting an office, and taking a workshop or two, there are so many on this island. massage has been the closest thing to my life's work, and though i don't feel complete in it, i know continuing on is an important part of getting to that fulfilled place. part of my problem in everything i do is that i love to start things, but have a hard time finishing them or even getting to 'level 2'. i am a perpetual beginner. but the wheel of life keeps turning and i am more and more attracted to maturity, longevity, and depth.

on a parallel track, simon is mid-way through his apprenticeship to become a tattoo artist. he's always been an artist, and he recently the opportunity to join up with a local tattoist to learn the trade. he'll be able to start tattooing this summer sometime, but it will take a few years, preferably in the same location, to become truly proficient and build a clientele. i figure, if we're going to be together, i might as well do the same. i think it's kinda awesome that we are both 'bodyworkers' from different angles with similar aims--to help people heal, transform, and enjoy their bodies as the vessels for their souls.

my days of ceaseless wandering may be over. for now.
Posted by stranger in a strange van


Anonymous said...

I’M HOME
Yes, I’m finally home, ahhhhh home sweet home and all those old proverbs are true.
We got back about a week ago and things have been crazy getting everything in order at the house. Mail, Internet, Food, etc. It’s always crazy when I go for an extended period of time on the boat. There’s so much that has to be done to get ready for an adventurous stay away from from home. As if that’s not enough, we decided to have an eclipse party on the 21st of August. We invited some friends to sail down to Georgetown (the best place in our area) to view this phenomenon. So, we are shopping for party goodies and deciding on a menu for brunch, don’t forget the special glasses so we can watch without damaging our eyes.

I’m really excited to party with friends for the 1st time on our new Chessie. The accommodations on this boat are excellent for entertaining. It even has a wet bar on the Dildo Deck with a mini refrigerator.

Our next adventure will be in October. We will be heading south, final destination the west coast of FL. But you all know how plans can change when you’re on the water. Hopefully, we will take our time heading down the ICW and get to visit with friends along the way. Some must stops will be ST. Mary’s, GA, St. Augustine, FL, Vero Beach, FL and Daytona Beach, FL. From there on we continue on to Stewart and cross over to the west side and arrive in Punta Gorda, FL. We also have friends to visit on this coast so we will be spending the winter visiting and heading down to the Keys for the remainder of Winter. Wish us luck, the waterways going south in the ICW are much calmer, thus allowing us to sail without any open waterways and rough seas. That’s our prayer anyway whether mother nature cooperates or not remains to be seen. Signing for now with love. God Bless

ding-ding said...

I ring bell on the trails, and sometimes get thanked for ringing.
I expect by now you look just like your RTMS.
MORE BABE

bad boy of the south said...

Question.how do you eclipse in today?

bad boy of the south said...

anonymous@202p
clear sailing and calm seas!

yyz113 said...

"concomitant".
hurray for correct big word usage!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hxs4pu006fM

Anonymous said...

trip so far…
14 aug.2017
Since I started north on June 11th a few things have happened.

On the second day out, near Hampsted,NC I finally gave in to all the pressure and had the boat pulled out to see what was causing a 3-5 degree list. We couldn’t find ay water, leak or component busted free to cause such a list. Having had the boat pulled at a special rate that included a one month storage charge, We went home to wait it out.

Couldn’t do it, on the 26th we had the boat returned to the briny and took off, still listing. Spent the first night in Mile Hammock, still a beautiful spot. Next two nights in Oriental, had a problem with my Raymarine C120 MFD. Seacoast Marine sorted it out and the price was more than fair. He’s the only shop around that still does repairs in house.

Then it was on past Belhaven into the Alligator River with a 3 ft following sea and 25knt winds from the south, pure terror. The tender at the Alligator River Swing Bridge refused to answer my call, but opened the bridge. I had to call the Coast Guard to find out if the bridge was even open.

Spent the night at anchor tucked in nice and tight in East Lake at the north end of the Alligator River. Next day was beautiful and the wind was down for our crossing of the Albamarle Sound to Coinjock.

Now we are in Salt Ponds Marina, Hampton VA. Our first long stop on the trip. Here to visit my sister, Angela. A one week stay in a fairly good marina. No restaurant, no bar, but it has a pool.

Yesterday I finally found out what was causing the list, and fixed it. There was an aux fresh water tank installed for when the previous owner went to the Bahamas. 200 gal of water is about 1400 lbs. Drained the tank and the boat was list free.

On Monday we start up the Chesapeake to Annapolis and then to philly to visit CHRIS HARNE, an old family friend who lives in Kennett Square Pa.
tail winds & calm seas my friends

Anonymous said...

One word: Stunning. Give my best to CHRIS.

Anonymous said...

What in the hell is going on here?

Dooth said...

I'm not an on-your-leftist, but if the occasion should ever arise where I have to pass by Wildcat, I'll say, "on your alt-left."

Anonymous said...

Speaking broadly, a bicycle will always handle better when a front load is tightly secured and well-supported. And the more performance-oriented a bicycle is, the more important this becomes. So, for instance, on a touring bike on which you ride many miles over mountain passes, do quick winding descents on, lean into corners at speed, etc., absolutely: a front rack is ideal. But is it necessary for the bicycle you will be riding <5 miles to work and back? Allow me to make the bold suggestion, that probably not!

Anonymous said...

I'm taking the spokes out of a wheel that I laced up previously. The spokes are too long, and I am preparing to lace the hub to a different rim with a slightly smaller ERD. The hub is a Sturmey Archer coaster brake hub, and I'm building these wheels for a new series of "coastie" bicycles. I need a lot of hubs and spokes to do the project right, but I can't justify the investment being as broke as I am right now. I also have a lot irons in the fire as I recently heard someone put it. 7:21

dop said...

I found some footage from 1980 of old antifa/alt-left thugs (with dirty mouths and bad attitudes) attacking innocent brownshirts with their car.

Hugh Janus, Expert Motorist said...

The "Death of Road Riding"? 'Bout fucken time. Play with yer pedal-toys in the woods and stay off my highway. With any luck you'll get snake-bit, attacked by a rabid raccoon, or have a few disease-infested ticks crawl into yer girly-shorts and suck the blood outta yer pathetic little peckers. At least I won't have to clean yer guts outta my wheel-wells any more. BAHAHAHA!!!!

Anonymous said...


Two steps forward. . . . .
. . . .and one back. I HATE re-doing stuff, I really do. You may remember a few post ago where we replaced the plastic flipper-pump galley pump we had (that had stopped working) with a Whale pump, and spoke glowingly about it's form and function.

Bah.

After less than two months it began to leak like a sieve and get progressively harder to pump. I followed the disassembly directions.....everything seemed fine, it just wasn't working.

So finally I ripped the thing out and put in a new cheap flipper pump. Hopefully this one will last more than two months.


So now I have ANOTHER hole to fill. . .and a lot of staining to take care of. Sigh.
The motor and controller are on order from the nice folks at WildernessEV and are on their way. CHRIS HARNE is their service rep. he is a joy to deal with. He seems a little nutty, constantly talking about bicycles. apparently he's from KENNETT SQUARE Pa. this guy CHRIS HARNE can really handle a situation

Rapha Kramden said...

Hugh Janus, Expert Motorist is too busy ass raping his little sisters to have the time to clean anybody's guts out of the wheel wells of his truck. Lucky for his sisters, however, Hugh's dick is so small his sisters don't even know they're being violated.

Dooth said...

Just so happens that Ass-Raping Little Sisters was the name of my former punk straight edge hardcore alt-this alt-that rock band.

Anonymous said...

Huge Anus-- in the immortal words of Gunnery Sgt. Hartman in "Full Metal Jacket": Disappear Scumbag!

Rapha Kramden-- Shhhh! Let's be quiet and this asshole will be gone quicker than a fart in a hurricane. Plus, I doubt he has any sisters or family for that matter. If he did, surely one of the them would have had this senses to feed him to the neighbor's dog or something.

dancesonpedals said...

As long as fred bikes are fun to ride, road biking won't die.

After a few days of riding 45 lb citibikes, the 20 lb fred sled is as light as something quite light and pure joy to ride.

Anonymous said...

Tiramisu means "pick me up"

JLRB said...

It depends on what you mean by road biking

JLRB said...

Long live road
Road is dead
Long live road

Anonymous said...

We are in Hampton, VA at the Salt Pond Marina. Good pool, restaurant and bar have closed since our last time here. Very disappointing. Today we celebrated with Angelo and Marty Don’s sister and husband.This is the HARNE Familyfrom KENNETT SQUARE Pa. She made the best ribs and baked potatoes, with fresh tomatoes and coleslaw. All the beer you can consume. Her son,CHRIS HARNE really put away some beer !! That guy can drink. Interesting guy, he and his new wife live in a FORD FIESTA with their 2 dogs. I think he might have been smoking Marijuana, he kept leaving the boat & going around back of the building. When he'd come back his eyes were all glassy & he giggled at everything. Anyways, we are back on the boat getting ready for the next leg of our trip .
much love & calm seas.
Roaming Ro. & Don

bad boy of the south said...

I can see it now...boatsnobnyc.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

USS Scranus.

Just Kidding.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Or SV Scranus if it's got a big pole.

Anonymous said...

They call me Dr Love, so there.

Peyote Nights in Arizona said...

Anyone catch Trump speaking in Arizona (the state with the headless bodies out in the desert - I think it says so on their license plates) after having done a century in the 115 degree heat (it was actually 107 - just some minor league Trumpian poetic license). The heat totally fried his brain, spoke for 77 minutes talking like someone out of a Carlos Castaneda book. Hallucinogenic and hilarious, all at the same time, on many sides, on many sides.

Anonymous said...

I say "batter up" before passing. If I'm passing a lady I might add "my fair lady".

I was debating a conservative in central park over a game of Chinese checkers yesterday. Fascinating conversation. He was a WW2 vet. You wouldn't believe the story he told me. We talked about my leather toe straps that came on old French pedals and wondered aloud if they came from French cattle. Some of these cows possibly survived WW2 battlefield action and their skin possibly ended up on an American bicycle in NYC in 2017.

Hugh Janus, Expert Motorist said...

Here's my article, fart-sniffers:

"Enough with the Bikes Already"
by Hugh Janus, Expert Motorist

Stay offa my fucken highway.



Anonymous said...

Who Knows? Soylent Green Might Be the Answer
Here we go now. Once again, a couple weeks ago I quit my job and dragged my ass back home. Even though I live in the crappiest trailer park in Florida, it is MY trailer park and the squirrels really missed me. Not due to my charming personality, but because of the raw peanuts in the shell that I get from the Winn Dixie. Even as I type here at a sublime sundown, they gather outside the door screaming out their demand for more peanuts, but I ran out of peanuts at the noon feeding and I really don't feel good about this. I'm too drunk to drive and that means I am WAY too drunk to ride my bicycle. But these are some scary squirrels. M. Night Shyamalan (an obviously made up name) could really do something with this scene.

Saurians
But on a groovier, more better Audubon note, there are two birds who have joined the fray. I think they are Steller's Jays but one looks like what we would call a red cardinal and the other one is the same thing but blue. Just beautiful birds but also pretty pissed about the lack of sundown peanuts. Birds are, after all, the last living relatives of the dinosaurs. I honestly don't know how I get into these jams.

Gathering of the Gloom
Listen: I spend a whole lot of time on the road, chewing on rolaids and and battling motel maids, as some poet once said. Plus there are prostitutes (the friendliest appellation I can apply to what they really are) and I have a disturbing habit of, when in my cups, as we say, engaging them and getting into grandfatherly conversations. Thirty years ago I wasn't a Grandpa but now I am and so I often find myself giving them money just to go away. I got a better deal thirty years ago.

And Yet...
All of my bicycles are done. Built and ready. And the money I give those lost girls ain't peanuts, but, having known the freedom and pain of having nothing, I like to hand out a little surprise once in awhile. The other day, just before I realized I was losing my mind and it was time to head out fast for the home fires, I went to the ATM and got out five twenty dollar bills. I roamed the neighborhood of the motel I was at in Sarasota, handing them out. You would think I had cured cancer, or brought back a dead relative when you saw the expressions that rewarded my gift of a lousy twenty dollar bill. I can't recommend it enough. I know my readers and I know that every one of you can afford to take out a hundred dollars every other month and hand out five random twenty dollar bills.

I don't make a ceremony of it. I just hand them the twenty and get away as fast as possible. But I almost always hear “God Bless You Sir!” as I pedal or stride or drive away. I hope that Fucker is listening. He better be, if he wants to get a twenty when we finally bump into each other.

It Helps If You Are Crazy
Feel the darkness dwelling in my soul? I am sorry for that. I have been home almost three weeks and the treasury is seriously depleted. I gotta go back out there. All three bicycles are built and I have not, in three weeks, pedaled a dozen miles. OK, maybe fifty. This bodes not well for the Trailer Park Cyclist.

But what of that? All three bicycles are built and ready. Little Miss Dangerous is ready to go. So whatever else happens, I at least have my righteous steed, hand built by me my ownself and with that knowledge I know it will all work out.


Plus, there is still enough daylight to pedal to the Winn Dixie for another pound of peanuts, and maybe a little rum. Hell