Friday, April 7, 2017

BSNYC Friday No Quiz Because Technology Has Failed Us All

There once was a Fred from the coast/
Who installed a new dropper post/
At first it was sticky/
But then it went quickly/
And now his poor huevos are toast.

—William Shakespeare

Blogger, the old-timey blogging platform I use because I am an e-retrogrouch, has been down all day.  As a result, until pretty much this very moment I've been unable to curate my own blog.  Therefore, in the interest of at least providing you with a few words to read before you fork off for the weekend, today's post will be a short one.

You're welcome, and don't blame me.  Blame G**gle, who run Blogger, or perhaps dark forces hacked their way into it, who the hell even knows these days.

Not like it's a big deal, because it's not like I don't have a whole other blog for you to read or anything.

Anyway, remember that Montana state senator who was taxing cyclists to stop the spread of zebra mussels?

New section. Section 4. Nonresident invasive species bicycle decal.

1. an invasive species decal must be affixed in a conspicuous place to each bicycle that is brought into and used in montana by a nonresident. A nonresident may not use or give permission for the use of a bicycle the nonresident brought into the state on which an invasive species decal is not affixed.
2. an invasive species decal must be purchased each calendar year for $25 at locations prescribed by the department of fish, wildlife, and parks. The decal is not transferable between bicycles.
3. money collected by payment of fees under this section must be deposited in the invasive species account established in 80-7-1004.

Well now the legistlature is saying it was a joke or something:

During its first hearing Wednesday afternoon before the house Natural Resources Committee, the amendment’s sponsor, Senator Chas Vincent made this admission:

“Just for a little background on that, you know, maybe it was a little bit of an April Fools.”

Wait, what???

All else aside, the senate approved it on March fucking 30th, which is a clear violation of global April Fool's protocol.

Not even the French, with their strange poisson d'avril custom, would find this acceptable.

So here's the story:

Here’s what Vincent’s talking about. Several weeks ago, Sen. Sales made national news when he made these remarks about cyclists during testimony about a different cycling-related bill:

“They’re some of the rudest people I’ve ever – I hate to say it, but I’m just going to be bold – they’re some of the most self-centered, rude people navigating on the highways, or on the county roads that I’ve seen. They won’t move over, you can honk at them but they think they own the highway.”

That generated some major blow-back.

Wow, big fucking surprise.

Senator Vincent described the messages sent to Senate President Sales as:

“Some of the most ugly and nasty messages I’ve ever heard left on anybody – legislators – cell phone. He’s got them if you want to listen to them. It’s remarkable, actually."

I don't think it's at all remarkable.  By the way, were any of those messages about how he can get fucked to death with a dropper post?  Because that's what I would have said.

And that, according to Vincent, was the basis for Sales's amendment that’s again being described by some as "anti-cyclist."

“A lot of us had heard [those messages], so when he stood up to propose an amendment to charge a $25 fee for everybody who doesn’t have a state bike and wants to ride in Montana, as you can imagine it was kind of a comedic relief moment, but the amendment went on," says Vincent. "And then he voted for it. So, it was kind of a fun day.”

What the hell kind of state legislature is this???  They're almost as thin-skinned as our president.  This Sales guy really needs to see a doctor about extricating whatever invasive species crawled up his ass.

So now you're up to date, and you can add Montana to the list of bike-unfriendly places to avoid, just under Australia:

Finally, I leave you with this:

I wonder #whatmouthpieceyourunning on those brass instruments.

Ride safe this weekend, and I'll see you back here on Monday...hopefully.

I love you,

--Wildcat Rock Machine


Chazu said...


Chazu said...


Tooch said...


dancesonpedals said...

H says he loves us, then he disappears behind the door with mommy, and I think he's hurting her because she screams and moans

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

5th Scranus!

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

In the top 10 Scranii.

Andy said...

Top ten! Page is loading slow today, too.

Olle Nilsson said...

You have a whole new generation of readers who don't have a clue what your weekly "no quiz" reference is all about. I still remember back in 1987 when you stopped. School's out forever baby.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

"perhaps dark forces hacked their way into it"

Those pesky Russians again.

Cat 404 e-Racer said...

I need to visit Montana
like a mussel needs a bicycle.

Anonymous said...

You do not need to be an ass hole to be a state senator but clearly many of them are and need mental treatment urgently before they kill us all!


Joe said...


Anonymous said...

I love you too!!

Spokey said...

short but informative

alas seder but wiser i am.

at least i avoided the unlucky 13th podi

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

Top Twenty.......Too bad it was a joke. I was going to make a pithy comment about how the legislature would handle Montana resident bikes that go out of state and thn come back in. Would they need to be sterilized to be allowed back on Montana trails. Now, suddenly, it's a joke. Bincha Don Fickin' Rickleses.

Serial Retrogrouch said...

...everybody is trippin' on power.
...what's one to do except go for a bike ride?
...ride safe y'all.

...i love you too.

leroy said...

Ride invasively all!

synonymous said...

People, if you're going to play with your instrument while riding your bike, wear a helment for Lob's sake!

Bryan said...

No no, we should all go to Montana and flood the streets in our best Fred get up. Fuck those guys

Bryan said...

Maybe hire that band on wheels to continuously circle Sales' home and office

Frankie Pigmeat said...

You can see why Shakespeare is so highly lauded — his limerick which Snobby posted today is a million times beter than Snobby's own limerick from yesterday which risibly rhymed "scranus" and "heinous".

I reckon Shakespeare is a bit of a Fred, though; #whatpressuredothonerunneth

Brasshole said...

As a brass player and Floridian cyclist, I take umbrage with this post!

Not really, it sucks down here - former Republican Mayor of Kissimmee killed on his bike today:

PS, I run a Schilke 50 #whatmouthpieceyourrunning and yes musical equipment is worse than bike stuff in terms of cost, bullshittery and pseudo-scientific justifications to spend money - just look at how much people waste on LefreQue.

Hair Furor said...

Wow! Today's post had: Poems! Videos! Links to articles! Humor!

Nothing "short" about it, my good Sir! But I'm a pretty slow reader...

The King of Park Slope said...

"Australia ... the world's Florida"?

It can't be that bad.

Frog´s legs said...

We pretty much find everything acceptable, except fucking up with cheese, wine and oral sex

Knüt Fredriksson said...

I was fascinated by all of the work that had to be done so that the band members could play while riding. Trombones were strapped to player so they could play one handed. The saxophone that rides into the picture at the end had a one sided handlebar with some kind of padded extension so that she could steer with her elbow.

BeerDrivenCyclist said...

Senate President Sales is a walking pecker. At least today's post permitted me to once again drool over the Walz cap girl in the sidebar... mmmmmm...

Australia is not really that bad at all. Our politicians and elected officials are not any different to others in the world. We pay them large sums of money to achieve little of what the public wants and we enable them to pursue their own agendas. Then at election time they tell us how well they have done, what they can do for us in the future and how it would be great for the country if we elected them again. We then dutifully do just that. And then they do nothing they promised and the cycle repeats...

Sound familiar anyone?

Call Me a Lyre said...

That bike riding band has nothing with which to hold their sheet music, so they have to memorize everything.

Spokey said...


what happened to the saturday commentary. i'm sure i saw some here earlier.

now that Putin Masterminded Chemical Attack So Trump Could Look Good by Striking Syria i guess he had to move to the next task on his list. sabotage the bsnyc commentary.

i call out putin and trump. Sirs. Have you NO sense of decency or fair play?

i call on you both. don't touch this junk!

cdinvb said...

Mozart Symphony 25?

Anonymous said...

It's just not THAT complicated...

Anonymous said...

There was once a Fred from the coast

Who bought an expensive rigid post

It all seemed fine

Till he dropped a steep line

And now his huevos are toast

Dick Dropperpost

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 12:30am,

Your second, third, and last lines all have the wrong # of syllables.

--Wildcat Etc.

Schisthead said...

Eggs are toast?

How absurd!

Anonymous said...

The World's biggest rotary speaker!