Fighting Over Scraps

In the cutthroat world of Fred bike marketing, every lump and dimple is prized.  So you can bet when one of these boils or recesses appears on another company's bike a real slap fight ensues:

On Tuesday Velocite CEO Victor Major pointed the finger at Pinarello after the Italian brand unveiled the new Dogma F10 frame that has a concaved down tube to improve aerodynamics around the bottle-cage area. The new bike will be used by Team Sky during the 2017 season. Major claimed in a blog post on the Velocite website that he has patented that design idea in China and Taiwan and that “with the new Dogma F10 your use of our intellectual property is deliberate.”

I love the idea that a "concaved down tube to improve aerodynamics around the bottle-cage area" even matters.  As if bike tech and not abusing the TUE system is what's going to win Sky the Tour de France.  Please.

Pinarello has hit back, giving their side of the story and suggesting that it is Velocite who has refused to provide ‘essential information’ to back up their claims. Pinarello also pointed out that aerodynamic frames have been sold for many years.

“Cicli Pinarello SpA, as a leading company in the cycling sector, obviously takes Intellectual Property issues with the utmost seriousness, Pinarello itself being a patent holder,” Pinarello said it its statement.

It's true, Pinarello is absolutely "a leading company in the cycling sector," especially when it comes to stealing ideas.  You know, like when they took that rear suspension idea from Moots:

(A bike rider attempting to understand a thing he is looking at.)

To wit:

(Moots YBB)

It's almost like these legacy Italian bike companies are out of ideas.  That would certainly explain 3T's aero gravel bike:

Designed by Gerard Vroomen, it's the answer to the question nobody has ever asked, namely: "What would happen if a Cervélo fucked a cyclocross bike?"

One area in which Italian bike companies remain unmatched however is in creating websites that will kill your computer with Flash animation.  This is why you should never, ever, ever visit one, regardless of how tempting it may be:

Yes, the Cipollini universe is one in which size still very much matters:

As does fluidity:

Something Cipollini and our President-elect share in common.

I have to say that life in the Cipollini factory is not quite how I imagined it:

I'd pictured it more like this:

Though there does seem to be plenty of rhythmic thrusting:

And it's hard not to read too deeply into the lengthy process of stroking and boring to which the gaping bottom bracket shell is subjected:

Coincidentally, 14 hours of work is also how much time an unfinished Mario Cipollini requires:

(Cipo switching hands again at around hour seven.)

And this quote pretty much sums up the entire road bike industry:

Making things simple should be the easy part, but when a machine is as simple as a bike you really do have to employ all manner of design gimmickry to make one stand apart from the other.  However, even the gimmickry soon becomes indistinguishable, which is why all the Fred bikes look like this now:

Peter Sagan is testing a disc brake @iamspecialized ahead of TDU. No confirmation he will race on it pic.twitter.com/ZFmDDeUilX

— Daniel Benson (@dnlbenson) January 11, 2017

I like when they make a big deal about how a pro is "testing" a new bike so they can make a big deal about how it measured up to his exacting standards, when in reality a rider like Sagan would probably race and win on a Bikesdirect special without noticing.

Can't wait to see who accuses who of stealing the hot new "t-boned a car" downtube look:

I'm sure if you paired that with a "concaved down tube to improve aerodynamics around the bottle-cage area" and a bottom bracket shell that's been lovingly rubbed by an Italian for 14 hours you'd get a bike so fast it would defy time and space.

In other news, as I type this the city's greatest minds are working to solve one of the most perplexing problems of our age:

Happening now. Productive meeting with NYCDOT to improve bike lane conditions in the @NYPD88Pct pic.twitter.com/AbSB0YK37F

— NYPDBrooklynNorth (@NYPDBklynNorth) January 11, 2017

Call me crazy, but I'd start by moving the cars and parking them someplace else.

Yeah, I know, I'll never get a city job with that attitude.  Making simple things complicated is even more vital to municipal politics than it is to designing plastic bicycles.  I'm sure after commissioning an expensive six-year study at taxpayer expense they'll end up deciding to give the bike lane another coat of paint.  Meanwhile, the Google street view reveals a total shitshow, and they've even got a Dumpster in there:

Not to mention a banged-up unmarked car and a marked one blocking two crosswalks at the same time just because:

This is basically the situation at every precinct in the city, and you'd think with all the money we spend on America's largest police force we could figure out a place for them to put their cars.  Honestly, as a cyclist I'd even be glad to give them the whole goddamn bike lane if it meant they'd finally get their all their shit off the fucking sidewalk.  Maybe for the price of a few feet of bike lane here and there the police wouldn't be so hard on cyclists and the pedestrians could actually walk.

Just a thought.