Wednesday, December 9, 2015

This Wednesday's Post Is Printed On 100% Post-Consumer Waste Paper Stock (Assuming You Have Printed It Out On 100% Post-Consumer Waste Paper Stock)

Some emails are spam.  Other emails are important.  And then once in a very great awhile comes a life-changing email that totally blows your mind, like the one I just received from someone who's "invented a new gear shifting system:"



As soon as I heard the portentous music and that cutting-edge test bike entered the frame, I knew I was bearing witness to greatness:


Behold...Wavetrans:


Which is not a spinoff of the critically-acclaimed sitcom starring Jeffrey Tambor.

So what is it?

Well, it's...something:


Something that appears to have been made from a Target bike and a repurposed Nintendo Game Boy:


If you're smelling something right now, that's the sound of the people at Shimano soiling their pants in fear.

Speaking of fear, I had to make a choice when deciding on my bicycling route this morning.  Should I take the route where the wild police chase ended in death a few weeks ago?



Police confirmed that shortly after 4 p.m., officers pursued a stolen van whose occupants were allegedly trying to break into a parking meter on Schroeder Street from North Broadway to Warburton, just south of Odell Avenue and the Greystone train station. The chase ended when the van, traveling northbound, struck a sedan traveling southbound.

(Yes, according to the journalistic standards of this particular newspaper, when teenagers who are too young to drive kill someone with a stolen van while fleeing police it's still an "accident.")

Or should I take the route where the wild police chase ended in death just yesterday?


That's a rather click-baity headline for the Times.  I realize we don't have all the facts on this one, but when you're DRIVING THE WRONG WAY ON THE FREAKING PARKWAY, isn't it at least fair to say you're armed with a car?

When they spotted the Nissan again, it was coming back toward them, going against traffic and heading southbound on the northbound side of the roadway, the officials said. It passed them, they said, then crashed into a median and three other vehicles a short distance away.

By the way, the fun started a mere bidon's throw from my home:

The police chase began shortly before noon, when two officers from the 50th Precinct in the Bronx, on patrol in a marked car, saw a gray 2009 Nissan Z driving erratically and began to follow it. The officers tried to pull the car over at 242nd Street and Broadway; instead it was driven off at high speed, officials said. The officers followed the car but lost sight of it on the parkway, just over the border in Westchester County.

He must have been driving beyond erratically if the police actually bothered to follow him, because erratic driving is business as usual at that intersection, where motorists do their best to murder pedestrians as they wait for buses or attempt to cross Broadway and reach Van Cortlandt Park on the other side.  (Most large New York City parks are surrounded by streets that are nearly impossible to cross, the thinking being that you'll appreciate them more if you need to risk death in order to access them.)

Anyway, after careful deliberation I chose the latter route:


The appearance of the thin ice rescue ladders in the park means winter is coming, but you wouldn't know it from the unseasonably warm temperatures we've been experiencing.  (Global warming, we're all gonna die, yadda yadda and so forth.)

After using the ladder to climb a tree and throw things at passing runners for awhile, I got back on my bike and continued north, and it wasn't long before I saw this:


After wrecking his car on the parkway the driver fled on foot, so maybe the smashed fence and tire tracks are from the police driving onto the bike path in pursuit:


Either way, a short while later I came upon what I'm assuming is the scene of the fatal shooting:


Riding through the scene of an ongoing investigation didn't seem like it would go very well for me, and so I backtracked a bit and took what turned out to be an enjoyable little detour:


I even got to check in with what appears to be the abode of one Mr. or Mrs. "Hot Cheeks:"


Hot Cheeks naturally put me in mind of "beefy" bottom brackets, and so I paused to admire my own:


Yes, this is what a bottom bracket should look like.  Dirty, yes, but more importantly threaded.  Press-fit bottom brackets are an abomination, which is why we're now reading about "solutions" like the T47 bottom bracket shell, when the real solution is to just go back to "regular" bottom bracket shells:


Companies that have long touted press-fit systems as desirable features would face an even bigger hurdle by switching to T47: the tacit admission that the designs they’d previously claimed as superior are no longer so. 

I take great pleasure in reading about the hole the Fred-biking industry has dug for itself with these stupid bottom brackets, and the bike reviewers who are finally getting around to admitting that they suck have nobody to blame but themselves.

Meanwhile, on the same website, I also noticed this:


Tested by David Millar?  How did it handle being tossed?


 That's when both weight and aerodynamics really come into play.

90 comments:

Anonymous said...

boobies #1

Unknown said...

89. The same is true of scientists generally. With possible rare exceptions, their motive is neither curiosity nor a desire to benefit humanity but the need to go through the power process: to have a goal (a scientific problem to solve), to make an effort (research) and to attain the goal (solution of the problem.) Science is a surrogate activity because scientists work mainly for the fulfillment they get out of the work itself.

herzogone said...

Woohoohoo!

Unknown said...

vsk said ...

All elusive Podium!!

vsk

Unknown said...

vsk said ..

Wh.. what just happened?

vsk

Unknown said...

First?

Unknown said...

Dammit. No comments, says my stupid phone. Millions of them,in fact.

Unknown said...

Post first, read second. Rookie mistake.

Vernal Magina said...

omg.

Serial Retrogrouch said...

Scranus

Serial Retrogrouch said...

...because if you have nothing to say, say scranus.

Unknown said...

Millions may be an exaggeration. Five, counting Ted.

N/A said...

A fully integrated Tri Bike? So the airbags and nerf bars are built in?

Spokey said...


wow

boobies takes the yellow podi

Freddy Murcks said...

I would like to point out that there are a few bike companies who never drank the press fit BB Kool-Aid. I only know or care about MTB, so Santa Cruz is the only mainstream brand that I know of for sure. In any case, SC has my loyalty for trusting their engineers who surely recognized from the outset that press-fit was nothing more than marketing driven garbage.

dnk said...

That investigation didn't look very "ongoing." I wonder how long they plan on leaving up the yellow tape?

On the Sidewalk, Upright and Feeling Lucky said...

I could have been a contender, but I was reading yesterdays comments.

Vernal Magina said...

... does the 02 come with a Check Engine light that's permanently illuminated on the handlebar console?

It's All the Fault of Babbleville said...

All of this nations problems originate in Canada. Their tar sands have moved like the blob across the NSA Border and have submerged all of our border states. If only Donald's, make that The Donald's, Great Wall of NSA had been built we would have been saved.

Captain Obvious said...

Dear Mr. WaveTrans - I already have a revolutionary shifting system that allows me to shift with the press of a button. It's called the Shimano SIS system. It's a reliable mechanical system that has been standard for close to 20 years. Crampy and SRAM make their own versions. You might want to check them out.

bad boy of the north said...

what's up with the skippies and black socks?

balls™ said...

Speaking of tossing...

Please knock before entering.

McFly said...

You choose the ladder route.

Anonymous said...

Snob,

While I certainly wouldn't advocate more bottom brackets 'standards,' my desire for other features (cantilever brakes, top tube cable routing, etc led me to a Giant TCX with BB386 and... with Campy cups + Centaur crank (costs less than your Ultegra) it's dead silent. You might recall, by comparison, when the Prospect Park peleton had a goodly # of Dura Ace bottom brackets and fucking Look pedals, what a goddamn ticking, screeching cacaophony that was! Intelligent riders 'downgraded' to Ultegra + ditched Look for Time but we know not bike racers by definition ain't too bright. As for my ITALIAN threaded bottom bracket... it was easy to remove, I'll say that!

NothingNewUnderTheSun said...

Looks like Royce Husted's patent expired on his Radial Gear Transmission, because the Wavetrans is a straight copy of it, with the bash-guard removed and an electric gizmo added.

See pages 58, 59, 89 of the Aug 91 issue of Popular Science.

Anonymous said...

"Speaking of fear" Two people were shot to death north of here Monday. But today is Wednesday and I haven't heard of any gunfire "incidents" for 24 whole hours now. That might be some kind of record in the USG (United States of Gunfire). Two dead doesn't even count as a "mass shooting" (four or more are needed), so does that mean it's not even considered to be "gun violence"? And what kind of idiot uses a gun anyway when there are no shortages of SUV's?

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 1:22pm,

But what happens when it's time to service the BB386? The press-fit bottom bracket on my Ritte is also quiet but it's a real hassle when you want to change the bottom bracket. With a good old-fashioned threaded shell and a Hollowtech II or similar bottom bracket it's like a ten minute operation.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

streepo said...

I was expecting William Shatner to be the narrator to the Wavetrans.

some.thing. you. have. never. seen. be. fore.

scranus

N/A said...

On account of my retrogrouchiness, most of my bikes have square pegs in the round hole, but I have to admit that the couple with the Hollowtech gear are definitely more convenient/ easy to service/swap. I won't get a bike with a press fit bb, those things are creaky Fuck-Os.

McFly said...

If you put blue loctite on all the PF BB components it will last a lot longer before the clicking starts. I just got 3 years out of this run AND NOW IT'S CLICKING AND DRIVING ME INSANE.....I know I know....it's not a drive it's a putt.

Wesley Bellairs said...

Cool isn't cheap. Cheap isn't cool.

Comment deleted said...

My new Fitwell DeGroot (worst bike name ever?) has a lovely Shimano 5700 threaded BB. Of course, it's an aluminum bike no serious roadie would ever consider, which further endears it to me. It has helped me get over my purloined Marin Venezia (even though it had a *much* more poetic name).

By the way, it does...fit well. Not a trivial thing for a 6'4" guy with most of that height in the legs.

Anonymous said...

I wonder who end up with Millar's tossed bike??

Anonymous said...

"I wonder who end up with Millar's tossed bike??"

Well, a guy in his underwear ended up with a bike on time.

rudimentary peni said...

Nordictrack did the "radial gear" expanding chainring nonsense decades ago. Man, I hate bicycle engineers. I am so glad I moved on from bikes to artisanal concrete bookends.

ChamoisJuice said...

Shaq's New Custom Bike Is Huge—and Totally Awesome, Josh Boisclair and DirtySixer built the 36-inch-wheeled bike for the 7’1” basketball star

Interestingly, Shaq prefers a diminuative bottom bracket

Anonymous said...

http://i.imgur.com/CS0pq9U.jpg

Anonymous said...

That WaveTrans is really "something". Looks like the slow motion mode works better than the manual slow motion on my bike.

Brother, can you spare a C-note? said...

The wavetrans guy doesn't know what it will cost, but says it is probably not be expensive. But nowadays "not expensive" means less than $20,000....

trama said...

1983 Phil Wood still doing whatever it is that BBs do.

Grump said...

That Wavy Trans thingy reminds me of some sort of crazy shifting system that some idiot tried to sell 25 years ago. I can't remember what it was called, but it was cable operated.
As for press fit bottom brackets, they prove that one's born every minute. Give me a screwed in bottom bracket and pressed in headset cups, and I'll be happy.

NothingNewUnderTheSun said...

"Nordictrack did the "radial gear" expanding chainring nonsense decades ago. "

Not sure what difference it makes, but a guy named Royce Husted invented and patented the radial gear in the 1980's. After failing to sell it to a established bike manufacturer, he started the Yankee Bike company to make bikes and components. Nordictrack brought Yankee, sohortly before it (Nordictrack) went bankrupt.

JB said...

Enjoyed reading about DAT tapes (redundant) in the old Popular Sci link.

That Factor bike is fugly.

Dorothy Rabinowitz said...

Isn't "UCI Legal, David Millar" an oxymoron.

HORS DONG!

Anonymous said...

Study Proves Only Jerks End Their Texts With a Period!!!!11!! 8==D ~ ~ (oYo)

Captain Obvious said...

Mark this day, because it's a first. CJ posted something completely reasonable, interesting, and topical. Moreover, it didn't include any references to sex, boner stems, the proper number of headset spaces, or any of the other stupid stream of consciousness shit that usually characterizes a CJ post. I could learn to like this version of CJ.

JLRB said...

That wasn't an investigation scene - that was the finish line - you blew your chance to fist pump (after dutifully zipping up the sponsor jersey)!

crosspalms said...

Not just a bike, a superbike. I'd better go sit down and fan myself for a while till the spell passes.

N/A said...

Does that bike have a cape? No it does not. How dare they call it a superbike. This flies in the face of cannon!

N/A said...

*canon

My bad, I was all riled up!

P. Bateman said...

can you prove to me that the guy in the Wavetrans video is actually holding the bike crank arm?

because i think he's spinning his own crank arm

J.K. Rowling said...

Who is worse, Trump or Valdemort?

the Jimboner said...

I agree with master Bateman

Spokey said...

did i miss this or has no one ever thought to post the fact that sponde(e) is a hot babe. the granddaughter of zeus - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sponde

JuanOffhue said...

If I were going to try an alternative bicycle transmission it would be a Pinion gearbox, which was invented by a couple of Porsche engineers. Combined with a Gates belt drive and installed on a rugged titanium frame, it looks like it would be just the thing on which to navigate the wilds of Westchester.
http://www.hilite-bikes.com/product/titan/pinion-p1-18-trekking-bike/

Roille Figners said...

The usual pet peeve: WaveTrans video takes 1 minute 20 seconds to get to the fucking point. No one cares about your shit-ass marketing fluff! Though of course, eliminating marketing fluff would lead to people selling things on their merits, and those products with no merits wouldn't even be advertised -- maybe even dropping out of the market entirely! We can't have that! Won't somebody think of the meritless products?!!

Roille Figners said...

Hot. Babe. Now that's a good spondee.

"Trekking bike" kind of sounds like what this blog might say when it meant, just, a Trek.

BamaPhred said...

Scranus

Dooth said...

Actually, it's Miss Hot Cheeks.

P. Bateman said...

@juane - i wouldnt trust any engineer that thinks the engine should be behind the car.

P. Bateman said...

or that thinks adding a wing and big wheels to a VW bug makes it somehow less fugly than a VW bug.

(not the real) Big Daddy Don Garlits said...

"i wouldnt trust any engineer that thinks the engine should be behind the car."

I ain't no engineer but I've invented, built and driven a few cars, and some of the best have the engine in back.

(not the real) Big Daddy Don Garlits said...

Also, an any of you New York bicycle riders explain this?

Anonymous said...

My last bike was steel and I think my next bike will be steel as well. And not just because steel is real. It's all this boost crap and new bottom brackets standards that soured me.

Spokey said...


putting the engine in the back sounds like something mcfly or bateman would do. call me a prude, but only front engines for me.

P. Bateman said...

sorry Big Daddy Don - that example you linked to is mid-engine.

PorSHA's have theirs behind the rear axle.

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

I can't stand all this tinkering with the perfect machine.....assholes. Someday, someone will try to make boobies better, and the we all will be miserable.

Ric said...

What the hell. That Nitro Rail is a bakfiets without the bak.

JLRB said...

How can a man with no arms drive a vehicle?

dop said...

Not far from the thin ice & red ladder is the Van Cortlandt Park Golf Course. You've all seen BSNYC's photos of the Putnam Trail (it's the dirt trail in the Bronx) that runs along the course. Two summers ago, the guy who fished golf balls out of water hazards was murdered there, and they found his body on the 5th fairway. A week later I was riding through, and it was desolate. There were no cyclists, joggers, golfers or birders in sight.

dop said...

OK, they found his body in the woods, the fairway.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Pathetic Old Cyclist,

They've been doing that with silicone for years, no?

--Wildcat Etc.

(as real as any other) Preston Tucker said...

"sorry Big Daddy Don - that example you linked to is mid-engine."

Well is this a good car with the motor behind the rear axial?

Crazy Fan Belt said...

How about this one?

P. Bateman said...

@Preston - hmmm... that is an fun fact. did not realize the tucker was rear engine.

this is why i love the BSNYC - get great automotive news, NY real estate tips, recipes and sometimes great punk/rock recommendations.

oh, and nearly forgot movies. like, i'm off to watch my favorite holiday film...

"I beat the shit out of some kids today. Made me feel good about myself. Like I accomplished something"

P. Bateman said...

@crazy - a yenko stinger corvair is about as fantastic as it gets.

i mean, if we're not counting vaginas....

apropos of nothing said...

He was a famous trumpet man from out Chicago way
He had a boogie sound no one else could play
He was the top man at his craft
but then his number came up and he was off with the draft.

Anonymous said...

Snob, In your off road adventures have you ever had an errant stick rip your fender off your bike?

Anonymous said...

I've always wanted small electric motors inside my crankset pushing apart huge gaps in the chainring, which is not really a chainring anymore.
Either that or square chainrings to go along with my square taper bottom brackets.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 7:47pm,

No, because I don't go offroading with fenders.

--Wildcat Etc.

Sharp As Attack said...

The terrorists in England used knives instead of guns, far less of a body count. Is this lack of carnage because guns are harder to own in Great Britain? Hmmmm... I guess one could say, they did use cutting edge technology though.

BamaPhred said...

It's Wednesday, we had the WavyTrans, and all I can think about is Wavy Gravy. That's it, I'm out, Of it.

P. Bateman said...

I never have sex with condoms and nothing errant has ever ripped me up.

I do sometimes wear a helmut, but just to make it kind of weird.

Anonymous said...

"Snob, In your off road adventures have you ever had an errant stick rip your fender off your bike?"

Ripping the fender off your bike is one of the least bad things an errant stick can do.

JLRB said...

Another great disaster caught on Fly6 - that Fred's chariot did several loop de loops before bouncing. Hopeful he bounced OK

JLRB said...

Don't forget, #Trumpwantstobanghisdaughter

dop said...

Maybe New York should be the "Blow Me" State.

Frampton said...

I want youuuuu
To blow me some way
Every day

spinyNorman said...

The best undocumented feature of the Wavetrans it the high powered video compression field that smooths out the pavement in front of you. I want one for that reason alone.

basith said...

terimakasih atas artikelnya kawan