Thursday, December 10, 2015

Fredness Is As Fredness Does

"So can you believe this weather we've been having?," he gushed like someone smitten by a particularly tasty piece of whitefish:


("No.  I can't.  I honestly can't believe it.")

You'd better believe that I'm getting out on the bike as often as I can before the chill hits or the world ends, whichever comes first.  I'm also harvesting a bumper crop of late season fitness as a result.  Want proof?  OK.  Here I am winding it up for the big sprint:


Note how I use my dork-tastic SPD-compatible closeout bike shoes to push massive power through my spindly, diminutive, non-press-fit, undersized bottom bracket shell, pushing it to its very limit:


Then I switch my handlebar-mounted phaser from "stun" to "kill:"


See?


In the distance lies my target, a digital sign indicating that my current speed is a searing 16mph:


I did deeper, and the incredibly the readout ticks up to 17mph:


I'm at my limit now.  My eyes are watering.  My ears are ringing.  The landscape is a streak in my peripheral vision.  Yet incredibly I discover within my suitcase of courage a false bottom, and extracting a nail clipper from my travel toiletry kit of perseverance I hack away at that bottom, revealing a secret compartment containing ONE MORE MILE PER HOUR:


Yes, that's 18mph on a downhill, a mere 12mph below the official speed limit.  Just imagine if I'd had a tailwind, I might have hit 20!  Nevertheless, no use lamenting what might have been, it's still a personal best.  Best of all, "Bicycling" magazine says I can treat myself to an extra helping of muesli tomorrow morning, so I've got that to look forward to, which is nice.

Of course, as unthinkable as these speeds are to mere mortals, just imagine what would have happened if the road had been booby trapped:
That's kind of horrifying, and I may have to start riding around preemptively swinging my Rivendell axe in order to sever any unseen tripwires:


I'm sure that won't get me shot by the police at all.

By the way, the Rivendell Bike, Book, & Hatchet shop (yeah, that's right) has a solid five stars on Yelp:


Though apparently Grant Petersen's retrogrouchery is so profound that he refuses to engage in the relatively modern practice of accepting money in exchange for services rendered:

“P.S. Even after having spent close to 4 hours assembling my bicycle, Grant did not charge and refused my offer of payment.”

Instead, he asks that you make a small offering on his behalf to the Sumerian deity Anu so that his actions may be recorded favorably in the Book of Deeds.

Speaking of giving, the Judeo-Christian Retail Freakout is upon us, so why not spend at least some of your holiday shopping money on something useful?  For example, here in New York City, your gift to Transportation Alternatives will be matched dollar for dollar by an anyonymous donor*:


*(AHEM Donald Trump COUGH COUGH)

Transportation Alternatives do good work for pedestrians and cyclists, and given that there are now people trying to actively strangle us in the park we need all the help we can get.  So buy cheaper gifts for the people on your holiday shopping list this year and donate some money to the organization of your choice--or, better yet, skip the gifts and give your friends and loved ones this card instead:


My kids are going to cry their eyes out when they get theirs.

And while I'm in the holiday spirit, here's a Seasons Greeting from my family to yours:


Don't worry, it's multi-denominational, the mushroom cloud is an Atomic Menorah.

Ah yes, the holidays...if websites and blogs aren't telling you what gifts to buy then they're publishing sweeping year-end best-of lists, like this one from Gizmag or Jizzmag or something:



Ooh, look, a power meter!


Sure, I'm willing to spend almost $400 for some technology confirming that I suck, but WHAT ABOUT MY Q FACTOR?!?

Then there's this wireless dropper seatpost:

Apparently the battery is good for 400 actuations, and each piston-like thrust of the saddle represents the ass-fucking the cycling industry is attempting to give you with these stupid gadgets.

But my favorite may be these "electrochromic" Fred specs:

Evidently they change tint depending on the conditions, which basically makes them a mood ring for your face.

I don't know if I'd pay $350 for some futuristic space glasses, but I'd sure pay a whole lot more than that to see a rider using every gadget on the Jizzmag "Top 10 cycling innovations of 2015" list simultaneously.

And speaking of futuristic space stuff, check out this sweet triathlon bike:



Technology aside, that's some great branding:


I can't think of a better name for a triathlon bike, because when there's a crash in the group ride everybody knows who caused it.

Alas, I suspect there may be a design flaw or two here.  Consider this, for example:


Consulting the USA Triathlon rule book for as long as I could before throwing up, I noticed this:

(e) There must be no protective shield, fairing, or other device on any part of the bicycle (including frame, wheels, handlebars, chain wheel, and accessories) which has the effect of reducing resistance.

So wouldn't that snap-on thing constitute a fairing?

Also, the head referee may want to have a word with you about that wacky frame:

Non-traditional or Unusual Bicycle Equipment. Any unusual bicycle construction or equipment to which the specifications in Section 5.11 cannot easily be applied shall be illegal unless prior approval is received from the Head Referee before the equipment is used in the event. Any violation of this Section shall result in disqualification.

As for the disc brakes, I have no idea if they're legal for triathlon, but if they are they probably shouldn't be:


Smooth transition.

109 comments:

ricochet said...

bike scum will remain

Vernal Magina said...

Blam.

Cameron said...

Podio!!!

Unknown said...

90. Of course, it’s not that simple. Other motives do play a role for many scientists. Money and status for example. Some scientists may be persons of the type who have an insatiable drive for status (see paragraph 79) and this may provide much of the motivation for their work. No doubt the majority of scientists, like the majority of the general population, are more or less susceptible to advertising and marketing techniques and need money to satisfy their craving for goods and services. Thus science is not a PURE surrogate activity. But it is in large part a surrogate activity.

Stony Soprano said...

Podium?!

dcee604 said...

Woohooo...I'm in the top 10 today!
And how come my Knog Arc Blinder didn't come with a laser setting?

Schisthead said...

But if you start swinging the hatchet wildly, won't they just start using chains, or something harder to cut?

Cansnobster said...

You're alive!!! What a relief. Back to watching finish line Fred crashes.

Red Ross said...

The weather is booooootiful right now!

Eric the Infrequent said...

Ted, you missed.
Are you pissed?

Francois said...

I'm surprised to see the LIMITS power meter listed as one of the best things of the year, since it's basically a scam: http://www.dcrainmaker.com/2015/11/limits-meter-really.html

grog said...

How do you write a blog whilst pedaling up to 18 mph?
AMAZ ZING

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

What in the heck is that voice saying at the end of the tri-crash?

samh said...

@recumbent conspiracy theorist, they'll probably shouting "YOU SUCK" in a different language.

Fausto said...

Podium enhancing drugs

Unknown said...

Dammit I am not working right. You guys are missing out on some zingers I'm tellin ya.

bad boy of lower manhattan said...

Multi denominationals days to all.

Vernal Magina said...

... is that the cover to "Permanent Waves"?

Goddamn, I hate this Celeron processor.

George Martin said...

"What in the heck is that voice saying at the end of the tri-crash?"

If you play it backwards it clearly says "Paul is dead."

Either that or "I love a parade."

(not the real) George Martin said...

Oops. Turns out George Martin is not dead. So if it matters to anyone, the above post is not really from George Martin.

McFly said...

Wouldn't it be easier to zap the clotheslines with your lazer?

Anonymous said...

And when someone commented as "Groucho Marx", a while back, I just assumed he was still alive.

Freddy Murcks said...

I'm kind of a klutz, but I can always count on tri weenies to make me feel coordinated. And my tricked out barney bike looks pretty tame and stylish compared to the garish heaps of shit that the try-athletes ride.

Grump said...

Snobby, better pass on that power meter if you don't have wrench flats on your pedals. Better yet, double up on a payment for your 2003 Hyundai Accent.

ChamoisJuice said...

Gaaah, bar tape is backwards, and your finishing tape job is disgusting.

Personally, I find Rivendell to be MORE OFFENSIVE than an electric dropper post or power meter doodad. Rivendell is king of blowing smoke up your ass about retrograde Fredness. Fredness in the traditional fred sense: you know touring bikes and helment mirrors and cotton clothes.

The MOST irritating thing about Rivendell to me, is how hard old Grant Petersen talks up the old world craftsmanship, but that he doesn't actually make anything himself. Shinola = Rivendell 2.0

I actually just purchased a Rivendellesque road type bicycle I am fairly stoked on. It is fabricated in Japan, has pretty lugs and Tange butted tubing, including the fork. Has all sorts of nice details, 3 bottle cages, low rider rack mounts, pump peg, cool paint job. Canti bosses that allow fatty tires and fenders. Full shimano 600/deore parts, triple crank. Sport touring geo. Weighs 25 pounds and could deffo do a couple things to lighten it up. It came with these bizarre shaped Nitto bars, that use thumb shifters bolted to the bars, kinda like bar end shifters.... it's weird. Cost me $65.

Anonymous said...

http://oywhatadeal.com/

DB said...

Going to ride the hoverboard over to Chipotle for lunch.
Living dangerously today.

Unknown said...

I know who you are :-)

Anonymous said...

Paradoxically, I really want to get a set of those honkin' 48c Nitto Noodle, Grant Petersen signature edition handlebars for this new old bike. However, they cost more than the entire bike did. :/

bigger bars

Random Commenter said...

whoa. was that directed at me??
creepy.

bieks! said...

Looks like somebody found DHGate/Hong Fu/etc and is trying to kickstarter his way into the biek business as if that's never been done before.

BikeSnobNYC said...

ChamoisJuice,

I didn't wrap the bars, Ben's sent me the bike fully assembled, but I don't know why you think they're wrapped "backwards," or what that even means. I happen to wrap my bars the same way--i.e. towards the front of the bike when I get to the tops. Is that what you're referring to? I realize you don't know a lot about road bikes, but the tape should ideally go in the direction your hands tend to rotate when you grip the bars. I tend to rotate my hands forward on the tops when I'm unleashing my massive power during seated climbing. Wrapping towards the front at the tops is perfectly common. Either way, the only way to truly wrap your bars "backwards" is if you manage to overlap the tape the wrong way so you curl the ends when you move your hands.

As for the "finishing tape job," you're really reaching there...and I'm not sure someone who uses a dropper seatpost is qualified to critique Grant Petersen.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

P. Bateman said...

Thanks for the tri-crash porn. its my 3rd favorite type of porn.


i'd go for a spin and enjoy the lovely weather but waiting on new tubes from the man at that online store i frequent.

damn. should have gone tubeless. i already have a lot of unused goo.

Every LBS said...

No tubes is keeping you from riding? Waiting for an on-line delivery of an item that might cost you $1 more at your LBS? Shame on you.

P. Bateman said...

dear LBS -

i have already bought several tubes from you but alas, the only 650b tubes you have are crappy and dont have removable cores, so to find some that are a little nicer i went with an online retailer because i'm in a small town and my options for LBS are limited and i didnt feel like driving 30 min to find a similarly small selection.

also, you mother fuckers still owe me a tune up. dont think i forgot.

BikeSnobNYC said...

P. Bateman,

What happens if you just stick a 700c tube in there?

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Parliment said...

If it don't fit, don't force it

Anonymous said...

indeed lovely weather, was enjoying my morning ride until my shift cable broke. Balls. Congrats CJ, sounds like you just purchased the goofiest bike of all time and only for $65! well done.

Anonymous said...

P Bateman@2:15

Where does disabled porn fall on your list?

P. Bateman said...

oh...not sure? think that works? is there a 700c that will work with a 38mm tyre?

i honestly am sort of a dummy and this whole working on bikes is new to me.

i just sort of assumed i needed the same size as the one the LBS (that i paid hand$omely to build my wheels) used.

i was also going on mr grants recommendation per his sites tires section. because i think he knows what he's doing... unlike mr. fancy pants and his new $65 bike.

Roille Figners said...

Getting swamped in the PNW with record rains. Left the bike in the weather all day a couple times with only a "summer" type chain lube. Washed it right off. It went straight from "like butta" to "rusted to shit" in 2 days. OK not rusted to shit, I'm exaggerating. But it does have a rust-colored tinge and a squeak today. Chain is so squeaky it sounds like Bike to Work Day out here.

Roille Figners said...

Wet People Problems

ChamoisJuice said...

26" tubes work in 650b, no problem. But really, if you are living in the 2010's enough to be running 27.5", you should be repping tubeless. GET WITH THE PROGRAM,

LOL, the bike is essentially a Surly Crosscheck, but has prettier details. Kinda bike that never really goes out of style, but is never really too cool, either. I do agree that the weirdass nitto bars were goofy as hell, and the seat too, but I have already fixed that.

Bikesnob, upon closer examination, your bars are actually wrapped the correct way.. my bad.
See, here's the thing, I can appreciate SOME of Grant Petersen's ideas, and think SOME of his ideas are out to lunch. Big 48c bars= AWESOME! Bars level with the seat= AWESOME! Techwear completely useless= out to lunch. threaded superior to threadless = out to lunch. And yes I have read his book as well as the ol' newsprint reader.

I guess just feel like the technology is his so smitten by, can be found on Craigslist inexpensively, if you do a little hunting. He is the equivalent of an antique dealer.

P. Bateman said...

yep, there is a 700c x 38. guess that was a dumb question.

also, out of morbid curiosity and because i specialize in dumb, i did some research and now know that disable porn is indeed a thing.

i'm going to say that it falls very low in the list. but that is probably my abled-privilege talking.

Schisthead said...

"oh...not sure? think that works? is there a 700c that will work with a 38mm tyre?"

You guys are great...

ChamoisJuice said...

Wait, I'm confused. Bateman has that partially Petersen influenced build, 700c > 650b with chubby tire build, but with iconclastic modern 11 speed parts, that just offends everyone who looks at it. You paid WAAAAAY tooooo much for that set up, it is slow, and does not impress anyone. Particularly, not women.

But 26x1" tube will work

wishiwasmerckx said...

As for the final video of today's post, I hope that the stupid Tridork who broke his fall with his gloveless hands tore up both palms on the asphalt and couldn't masturbate for weeks.

ChamoisJuice said...

Only retrogrouches use their hands to masturbate.

DID YOU KNOW? Tenga, Male masturabatory aid, is sponsoring Japanese flatland bmxers? It's true! Pretty good target cycling demographic, though they are CLEARLY missing out on market share by not sponsoring any tri-geeks or road weenies.
The "Ucchie TENGA Spin" [Ucchie × TENGA OFFICIAL]

Roille Figners said...

Hey where is Babbledoodledoo?

BikeSnobNYC said...

ChamoisJuice,

Bikesnob, upon closer examination, your bars are actually wrapped the correct way.. my bad.

Your confirmation of the patently obvious means so much.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

BikeSnobNYC said...

P. Bateman,

Don't worry too much about the nominal width of the tube. You can usually get away with using a skinny tube in a fat tire within reason.

--Wildcat Etc.

Anonymous said...

Your finishing tape still looks like shit, tho

Anonymous said...

"You can usually get away with using a skinny tube in a fat tire within reason."

True, but using a tube that is too wide for the tire seems like it make it easier to pinch-flat.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 2:57pm,

It's pretty chunky tape. When I'm that worried about my "finishing tape" I'll quit bikes and take up golf.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 2:59pm,

Yes.

--Wildcat Etc.

P. Bateman said...

i do appreciate the lesson on compatibility of various tube sizes. i also appreciate the opportunity to embarrass myself with a shocking lack of basic bikeen knowledge.

but alas, i still dont have any of those other tube sizes laying about, so just going to wait on the ones i already ordered to arrive because whats done is done. we cant change the past.

not without a flux capicitor and god knows my LBS with its limited selection certainly only has one that fits a delorean and i dont have a god damn delorean either. not in this salt air down here. are you nuts?

Anonymous said...

"Your finishing tape still looks like ..."

You know, if you wrap the bars from top (near the stem) to bottom (the bar-ends) you don't need finishing tape or twine. Use a dab of rubber cement to hold the end of the tape to the bars at the top and wrap the tape over it self to get started. Wrap so you hands will tighten the tape as you ride (like Wildcat says above.) When you get to the end, cut the tape with a little extra. Tuck this little extra in to the end of the handle bars and use a metal bar-end cap or barcon type shifters to hold it in place. If the tape is wrapped the correct way, you hands twisting on it will not not try to pull the tape from out of the bar end.

(This does not work so well with those cheap plastic caps that comes with new bar tape, nor with corks.)

Roille Figners said...

Snob your [something] is [done] backwards and your [other part] is too [high|low]. The [rake/reach/sweep/HT angle/ST angle] is too [steep|shallow]. It's like a [colorful metaphor]. Women do not like that, and that is why you are having no luck at cheating on your wife/destroying your family.

leroy said...

My dog informs me that, in Brooklyn, we have special signs that call out "on your left" for you.

I have no idea what he's talking about.

But he says my bar tape is fine by him.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Roille Figners,

Tell me about it. I also just noticed my pedals are upside down. Imagine my embarassment!

--Wildcat And So Forth

JLRB said...

How does one become qualified for the position of Head Referee?

What authority does said Ref have? Throwing a flag for cock blocking? Penalty box for unnecessary roughness?

ps - It looks like someone wrote "wash me" in the dirt on your bike

Dorothy Rabinowitz said...

Perineal Status: Erosive lichen planus

P. Bateman said...

...then i stepped on the ping pong ball....can you imagine?

Captain Obvious said...

I knew that diminutive, unoffensive, and relatively informative CJ was too good to be true. Alas, CJ is back to ranting like his ritalin is running low, he still knows next to nothing about bikes, and he still knows next to nothing about women (although he'd like everybody to believe that he possesses voluminous knowledge about bikes and babes - beyond what a virginal basement dweller can read on the internet, of course).

Blog Drafter said...

Just saw this funny joke on the intern*ts:

Half a Zeno walks into a bar!

bad boy of midtown said...

I had better check my pedals when i get home.i think i left them upside down.or was it rightside up? Whatever.

ChamoisJuice said...

OKOKOKOKOk, there is more than one way to skin a cat, but some ways are better than others. Right? Top down, is just wrong!!! I don't need to explain.
Ok, so you got, start from the bottom, up.. next CORRECT way, is the direction, clockwise or counterclockwise.

There are actually two trains of thought on this.
The quick and dirty way, that is somewhat acceptable, and I believe the way Ben's Cycles wrapped BSNYC's bars, is counterclockwise on the driveside bar, clockwise on the non driveside. This is the part that Bikesnob typically gets wrong when he does it himself.

The MOST correct way is detailed here, in section 2: ADVANCED TIPS http://www.parktool.com/blog/repair-help/handlebar-tape-installation-drop-bars#article-section-2
Best way is start from bottom, clockwise on drive side, THEN SWITCH direction at the brake lever!!! That way, your hands are tightening the bar tape on the hoods, flats, or drops. I would say less than 5% of mechanics do it this way, and they tend to all be full anal pro tour dooders. Anyways, if you really want to have dialed bar tape and/or impress bike dorks with your superior bike dork knowledge. This is the way to do it.

BikeSnobNYC said...

ChamoisJuice,

Glad to see you're back after your Googling sesh.

You should consider taking your comments over to Prolly's Retardavist blog, they'd be more at home there.

--Wildcat Etc.

N/A said...

Once I learned to wrap my bars correctly, I got an extra 2mph.

BikeSnobNYC said...

ChamoisJuice,

I would say less than 5% of mechanics do it this way, and they tend to all be full anal pro tour dooders.

You mean like the dooders with the big long bober stems?!? I'm so confused!

--Wildcat Etc.

P. Bateman said...

forget the bars, i just wrap my hands in cork. usually start at the wrist, and move toward the tips of the fingers.

when i'm having some me time, it makes for a very unusual sensation. its soft, yet dry and a little firm. which for me is ideal conditions for watching my favorite abled-porn.

i rarely wear a helmut while doing that.

ChamoisJuice said...

FWIW, I have been taking a break from women. I constantly have this issue, where women I find smart, interesting to talk to, cool people, I do not find sexually attractive. And girls that give me raging erections that make me dizzy from blood loss, I find really vacuous and irritating to be around. I'm not sure what to make of it. I feel like I talked about this already, Jewish righteous cyclist I had been dating, and thought was really cool, fizzled out after we consumated carnal activities, and our levels of passion were not compatible. I also had the barista that wanted my dong, and had made plans to get a beer with her, but blew off those plans, after taking a closer look at her FB and seeing a bunch of coors light and puppy piktors.

There is a saying. Smart, sexy, sane. You can have two.

janinedm said...

P. Bateman, don't apologize for wanting a very specific thing and going online to get it. I love my LBS but if for example they only got Kool Stop pads in 2 color when I want the ones with three compounds on it, I go online and get the thing I want. Too many times I've been talked into believing that the thing my LBS had in stock was "basically the same thing" as what I wanted (no, your Continental City tires are not the same as Schwalbe Marathons and Ive had to fix so many flats that I probably have dead pigeon fever from touching the grody tires with my hands). So anyway, get the parts that make you feel confident enough to ride on the knife edge or whatever that aging dum dum with the camera helmet says.

Also, the ride to work this morning was so beautiful I knew this post was going to be late. Completely jealous. I try to remind myself that office life is protecting my skin from sun damage.

Anonymous said...

Wavetrans rotary wank action.

leroy said...

Dear Mr. CJ --

My dog asked me to inform you that wrapping bar tape is not a hand job.

I have no idea what he means.

N/A said...

Learning to wrap your bars with your feet would be really convenient if you were to ever lose your hands in an industrial accident. You can't ever be too prepared.

janinedm said...

CJ, maybe you're creating barriers because of the (in your case reasonable) fear that no one will like you once they get to know you so you reject them first.

crosspalms said...

I like the variotronic chromatofaceplant brakes in the last video. Can I get an app to control them?

JuanOffhue said...

CJ, for the last word on how to wrap handlebar tape, see this video.

1904 Cadardi said...

Snob,

I know will mean absolutely nothing to you, but I wrap my bars the same way. And I rotate my wrists down when I climb which means I am unwinding the tape, but I prefer the way the tape edges feel when wrapped that way.

That's how I know I'm a (retro)grouch. I like things a certain way, I'm used to it so I'm going to keep doing it that way and if someone doesn't like it that's fine, they aren't invited to ride my bike.

Also, you can probably flip your pedals over pretty easily. Park Tool probably has an instructional video.

N/A said...

Nitto has those sweet pedal-flipper-thingies. I love them so much, I put 'em on both sides of my pedals.

Dorothy Rabinowitz said...

the doctor just cleared me for 400 more actuations, now which one of you pantywaists wanna step up to the plate?

Glory said...

Wow, CJ just keeps digging.

Anybody else go down the interwebs rabbit-hole of LIMITS power meter? I've liked DC Rainmaker for a while, but his review of LIMITS' "progress" is golden, and the company chair's indignant letter is even better.

crosspalms said...

George Bailey recommends Zuzu's pedals.

Captain Obvious said...

Damn, janinedm. CJ may need to check himself into the burn ward after that comment. Good job.

Anonymous said...

Nice, crosspalms 4:37, nice!

Anonymous said...

Atomic Menorah, High School band name?

P. Bateman said...

George Baily kind of deserved to slapped around a bit if you ask me.


i'll put whatever damn pills or poison i want into these bottles and I will not tolerate your insubordination.


you can NOT put poison in the bottle when your the boss. until then...

BAM! to the fucking moon.

ChamoisJuice said...

Janinedm,

There may be something to that, though generally I find that women are fixers, and they see that I have sweet, smart, sensitive sides, and try to fix me, make me functional. I have been in two "real" long term, 2+ year relationships, living together and all that. In general, women like me. Usually, they get mad, because I am not very invested emotionally, or frustrated by my crazy decision making and lack of responsibility. Well, infidelity, too. :/

I'm just pretty picky. Want woman who:
-not batshit crazy.
-pretty hot.
-smart and independent
-adventurous and athletic.
-can get dressed up for the city or go camping
-some bad girl tendencies, but can still introduce to mom
-reads books, listens to good music, can still go to parties.
I have come to realize, that this is a pretty rare creature.
And due to rules of supply and demand, this rare creature, generally understands her desirability, and has quite the number of men to choose from... many of whom are good at making the moneys....

For quite some period, I was on self imposed monastic celibacy. If I couldn't find a woman I was interested in long term, I wasn't after anyone. There was a certain point, where I was all, fuck this noise, you only live once, Ima get my dick wet.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Well, CJ, it is not often that I can say we are in agreement, but you have hit on a near-universal truism: Some girls get their kicks above the waistline; some below, but only a rare few get both, and if you find one, she's a keeper.

wishiwasmerckx said...

"You can usually get away with using a skinny tube in a fat tire within reason."

This is called the "pencil-dick tube theorem."

Roille Figners said...

LOL "retardavist." And it is, too.

B. Drafter: Wouldn't it be, Zeno walks halfway into a bar, and eventually dies of thirst? WOCKA WOCKA

Hmm.. a woman you can talk to, but aren't attracted to... I believe most men call that "my wife." WOCKA WOCKA

Nobutseriously I hope she and I are still cracking each other up with the ha-ha jokes, long after my last boner is deboned.

JuanOffhue said...

Just read an interesting story in The New York Times about advances in artificial intelligence that surpass human capabilities in such vision tasks as identifying pedestrians and bicyclists. This may or may not be good news for pedestrians and cyclists, depending on how self-driving vehicles make ethical decisions. The time may come when a headline that says “Car jumps curb, kills pedestrian” is completely accurate.

Anonymous said...

Today's post and comments with links made my flight from Houston to Newark on United with their barely-abled wifi survivable!

Knüt Fredriksson said...

Nomination for photoshop of the year: laser knog

But I'm disoriented by the visual cacophony created by all of the white stripey things on your bar and stem... It pulls focus away from the road, and might cause your bike to jump the curb or something.

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

I never really know how to wrap my bars, so I start at the bottom of the left bar and wrap toward the stem, counterclockwise. On the right side, I start at the stem and work toward the drops, Clockwise (Australian). I use contact cement to glue the tape to the bar at the stem, and use a wine cork to stuff the ends into the bar.

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

Janinedm 416
Ouch! I think CJ now stands for Castrated Junk. Nice cut!

wishiwasmerckx said...

Well, since we are so close...

wishiwasmerckx said...

...may as well take it on in...

wishiwasmerckx said...

...and 100th!

Knüt Fredriksson said...

101 comments of wierd on the blog, 101 comments of weird. Take Ted K. Down (because we all agree he doesn't count), refresh your browser; 100 comments of wierd on the blog...

Holy Roller said...

Sometimes I wonder, when Jesus resurrected Lazarus, did he secretly critique the technique of the corpse's grave-cloths wrappings?

Anonymous said...

Bout time you put some Asian in the equation. Now I'm hungry for Chinese.

Unknown said...

Tell me about it. I also just noticed my pedals are upside down. Imagine my embarassment!

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Jan! said...

Have you checked out the site of that triathlete with the smooth transition? http://www.dariusdybek.de/ It's all Flash, so you'll need to view it on a Desking Top Computerator as opposed to a Smarting Phone. It really is quite… something.

Unknown said...

13.3 mph...yes

Unknown said...

13.3 mph...yes

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basith said...

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