Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Cycling and Money: Mutually Exclusive

As a semi-professional bike blogger, I sit upon a perch of privilege.  (It's called "the sofa.")  However, I also clip into my pedals one Sidi at a time, just like you saps.  In fact, I even receive unsolicited promotional emails from bicycle companies, and here's one from Xtracycle:

Hi Bike Snob,

Ever dreamed of owning your own business, by bike?

Wait a minute.  What do you mean by that?  The syntax is confusing.  Are you asking if I've ever dreamed of owning a bike-related business?  Or are you asking if, while riding my bicycle, I've ever slipped into a reverie about owning a business that may or may not be related to bicycles?  Also, I do "curate" a bike blog.  Does that count?

Nevertheless, I read on:

If so, check out how to get your own here.

I did check it out, and that's how I learned about the FruitBicycle:

Traditional vending bicycles are heavy, awkward, and just plain aren't fun. The FruitBicycle was designed to feel and ride like a normal bicycle. It can go anywhere a normal bicycle can go, and provide access to areas that other vehicles can't reach. While the ice cream truck remains stuck at the curb, the FruitBicycle can ride right into the action.

That last part is true, but only until the action runs past the FruitBicycle and right to the ice cream truck.  Come on, everybody knows the action follows the ice cream truck and not the other way around.  (This was 100% accurate by the way, at least in my experience.)  Put a FruitBicycle in the middle of the playground and an ice cream truck across six lanes of traffic and a barbed-wire fence and I can assure you those kids are still going to run to the ice cream truck.  Sure, the ones who survive the mad dash will eventually fall victim to juvenile diabetes, but you can't argue with chemistry.  Meanwhile, due to the same chemistry, kids will flee from the FruitCycle like grease in a dish soap commercial.

Alas, I'm not sure why bicycle businesses have to mean so well.  Fruit?  Why not just cash in?!?  After all, we used to sell ice cream by bicycle.  So how did we lose our way?

(Fuck fruit.)

A lot of factors contribute to keeping cycling down and marginalized in this country, but chief among them is our own crippling smugness, which forces us to make bad business decisions.  Punch through that smugness wall and the riches will pour in, I guarantee it.  That's why my bicycle business is going to be a car dealership:

The business plan is pretty straightforward: I'll ride to your home or office and sell you the motor vehicle of your choice.  All I need is an iPad and one of those obligatory inflatable dancing guys, which I'll put on the back of my Big Dummy:

(Never trust a car dealership that doesn't have one of these.)

All I need to do is launch a Kickstarter to raise the $349 I'll need for the 20-footer with the weather-resistant air dancer blower (18" diameter) and then--BAM!--instant mobile car dealership.

Then, I'll focus on cyclists and sell them cars to match their needs.  For example:

--Subarus, for the quasi-outdoor types;
--Hybrids and electrics for the smuggies;
--Hyundais for the people who are just like, "Fuck it."*

*GENERAL LEASE Disclaimer: Taxes, license, title, insurance, regionally required equipment may be extra, and are not included in the payments shown. Dealer administration fee of $372 is included in payment.  You are an idiot.  Lessee pays maintenance, excess wear and tear and $0.15 per mile charge for all mileage over 12,000 miles per year. Lease & APR Programs only available to customers with well qualified credit and approved through Toyota Financial Services. Fuck you.  Not all customers will qualify. Delivery must be taken from dealer stock by 7/9/2012 and is subject to availability. Bend over.  Customer's final payment may be higher or lower, depending on final transaction price. All leases require $1999 total due at signing plus any available rebates, some of which you must qualify for.  You are a sucker.  Click here to see details for the College Rebate, Military Rebate, Loyalty Rebate and Business Rebate.  There is no rebate, we hate students and soldiers.  Total due at signing amount includes first month’s payment, acquisition fee of $650.00, destination charge, customer capitalized cost reduction, dealer administration fee of $372 and security deposit of $0.  Open up and take it.  All leases are based on 36 base monthly payments.  Term may vary depending on final transaction agreement.  Some offers cannot be combined with other offers.  You can combine yourself with taking my load.  Advertised lease specials are based on specific models and options, however, we can customize a lease special for any new Shitbox you select based on the special lease rate available.  Call or email us for details.  Blow me.

Obviously, in addition to sales and leasing I will also provide bike rack consultation and configuration services, and I'll offer everything from the most basic trunk racks to the most sophisticated solutions for the cheesiest Freds:

By the way, attaching triathletes to SUVs with suction cups and anally impaling them on the noses of their saddles is pretty much the only way to keep them from crashing:

Of course, you're welcome to buy a car from me and skip the premium rack consultation services, but if you do you're on your own:

Then, when it's time for your vehicle to be serviced, I'll ride to your car, bring it to the nearest Jiffy Lube, return it for you, and charge you four times whatever they charge me.

Or you can stick to eating fruit and riding around on a family-style recumbent, it's up to you:

Meanwhile, speaking of the bicycle business of your dreams, someone's trying to market an electric all-wheel-drive fat bike:

Here are the inventors:

"Hi, I'm Tommy Coghill and I hold a degree in physics..."

By "degree" I'm assuming he means "took it in high school."

"...this is Mike Unclesbay, he's a world's record holder."

As convincing as the photo of him actually holding a world record may be, I wanted to learn more about what that record was for.  Like, did he jump a fat bike over the Grand Canyon, or did he stuff 1,500 marshmallows in his mouth?  Well, I turned to a popular search engine, but the results were inconclusive:

Still, it's hard to argue with their pitch:

Our "Grizzly" Fat Bike can cycle through any terrain and over many obstacles. Our "E-Grizzly" has a Front Hub Motor to create an All-Wheel Drive Fat Electric Bike. 

The E-Grizzly Bike literally has no limits. It can go upstairs, over logs, and over most any obstacle your bottom bracket can clear and even some it can’t. 

LITERALLY no limits?  Really?!?  So the bike spans the entire space-time continuum?

Then again, he does have a degree in physics, so maybe on some level this is true according to quantum mechanics or something.  (I never took physics, it was not a requirement for my New York State Regents Diploma.)  In fact, maybe the wheels are powered by "Quantum Jumping," which is the brainchild of one Burt Goldman:

You can probably imagine the looks I get when I describe Quantum Jumping to people: it’s a technique for ‘jumping’ into alternate universes, meeting alternate versions of yourself, and using their wisdom and skills to live your ideal life.

Seems legit.

But at its core, Quantum Jumping is simply an advanced visualization exercise. You’re tapping into your subconscious mind, where are infinite number of realities and possibilities are waiting to be discovered. Anything that can be, is.

Scoff if you will, but there's virtually no difference between this and the idea that you can become a better cyclist by hiring a coach or buying the latest crabon Fredcycle:

Which is why I can safely say you don’t need any form of meditation or visualization talent, or any form of gift whatsoever. No matter what your experience is, Quantum Jumping empowers you with all the skills, knowledge, wisdom and experience you’ll ever need.

Hmmm, so you can be preternaturally awesome despite an utter lack of talent?  This could almost be an article in "Bicycling."

Of course, if you don't want to pay for the "Quantum Jumping" course, you could probably experience the same effect by simply getting baked--which, according to the "Wall Street Journal," is the latest performance-enhancement technique:

Ultramarathons last anywhere from 30 to 200 miles, and typically crisscross mountainous terrain and rocky trails. Runners endure stomach cramps and intense pain in their muscles and joints. Competitors often quit after a sudden loss of motivation, matched with the boredom of running for upward of 24 hours straight.

“The person who is going to win an ultra is someone who can manage their pain, not puke and stay calm,” said veteran runner Jenn Shelton. “Pot does all three of those things.”

I would argue that if you have to get stoned in order to complete a task then the task is a complete waste of time and you probably shouldn't begin that task in the first place.  In addition to running 200 miles, other pointless tasks of this nature include:

--Playing computer games;
--Listen to Emerson, Lake and Palmer albums;
--Reading this blog.

So there you go.

And in other cutting-edge sporting news, some company is trying to push airbags for skiers:

During the development process, Dainese worked with athletes from a number of national federations to solicit feedback, and Cafaggi disputed Sullivan’s claim that anyone who wore the airbags would be at a disadvantage in terms of speed. Early versions of the system were actually deemed by F.I.S. to be advantageous to skiers who wore them, Cafaggi said. After frequent wind-tunnel testing, the current models were found to be “aerodynamically neutral.”

Which can only mean that cyclists will be forced to wear this technology within the next ten years.  After all, we've already got the helments:

So why not go all the way?

Lastly, hell hath no smugness like a Park Slope cyclist unjustly ticketed:

Evidently, Doug "Brooklyn Spoke" Gordon took a picture of a cyclist getting ticketed, immediately after which he was ticketed himself for "running" a light that was in fact green:

If you follow me on Twitter, you’ll know that I frequently take pictures of cops ticketing cyclists. If you follow constitutional law, you’ll know that taking pictures of cops ticketing cyclists is not a reason for the cops to then pull you over. Nevertheless, I continued northbound on 5th toward Bergen Street to make my way to work. But then I heard it: “CYCLIST, PULL OVER.” Okay, I thought. Taking a picture of a police officer is not a crime and I’ve done nothing wrong. I stopped in front of Gorilla Coffee at Park Place and 5th Avenue, about four blocks from Lincoln Place.

The officer exited his car and demanded to see my ID. I initially refused, and instead demanded to know what the officer thought I had done. He once again demanded to see my ID. Once again, I refused. I can’t say that I was as cool or calm as I could have been, but I also know that the police can’t just stop a person and ask for identification without saying why. I refused again, and demanded to know what the officer thought I did. At this point he told me that he observed me running a red light and that he would arrest me if I did not provide him with my identification. I told him that I did not run a red light, but he said he saw me go straight through the light on 5th Avenue, which would have had me traveling from a direction from which it would have been impossible for me to travel, given the location of my daughter’s daycare and my normal route to work. 

Sounds about right.

My feelings regarding bike lanes, "livable streets," and so forth in New York City changes roughly every few months, and at the moment my feeling is that we're never going to pull it off.  Sure, the idea of transforming the gentrified neighborhoods of Brooklyn and beyond into some sort of quaint pre-war railroad suburb is a well-meaning one, but between the massive population density and the police department I think the end result is simply going to be a bunch of really expensive areas where cars still rule.  Therefore, the most reasonable course of action when you're riding a bike within the city limits is probably to do whatever the fuck you can get away with, and if you want the incredibly civil yet expensive pre-war railroad suburb then you should probably give up on Brooklyn and just move to one.

Then again, I'll probably feel differently once the snow melts.


Olle Nilsson said...


Vernal Magina said...

Finally, jesus, wtf.

Buffalo Bill said...


3G said...

PODIU dammmit

Anonymous said...

Top 5

Serial Retrogrouch said...

...toppus tenus

Vernal Magina said...

Yes, jesus.

Anonymous said...


All I need to do is launch a Kickstarter to raise the $349 I'll need for the 20-footer with the weather-resistant air dancer blower (18" diameter) and then--BAM!--instant mobile car dealership

what about a generator for the dancing tube dude?


Anonymous said...

Port Orange man pedals through storm to set record

==with a K

By Mark Lane
Published: Wednesday, April 30, 2014 at 7:06 p.m.
Last Modified: Wednesday, April 30, 2014 at 7:06 p.m.

DAYTONA BEACH SHORES – Mike Unklesbay pedaled through a downpour and fought high, gusting winds Wednesday to establish an off-road mountain bike record on the beach.
Enlarge |

Mike Unklesbay, at right, with a support rider, set an off-road mountain bike record during a heavy downpour Wednesday night in Daytona Beach Shores.
News-Journal/ DAVID TUCKER

“At 23 hours, 20 minutes, he hit 285 miles,” said Unklesbay’s sponsor, Tommi Coghill of Xtreme Fat Tire Bikes.

“I don’t know anyone who could do what he did. It was truly amazing,” he said.

Unklesbay had set off shortly after 8 a.m. on Tuesday near Frank Rendon Park with the goal of covering more than 279.6 miles in 24 hours.

A spokesperson for the Guinness Book of Records said that was the distance a rider would need to cover to establish a record.

Guinness does not have a standing record for off-road miles ridden on a mountain bike within 24 hours, but does have a 48-hour record set by mountain-biker Dave Buchanan, who covered 354.8 miles across Wales in 2011.

Unklesbay, riding a prototype of a light-weight, all-terrain, 10-speed mountain bike with 4-inch wide tires that Xtreme Fat Tires Bikes expects to sell this summer, rode in a circuit between Sunglow Pier and a spot near the Silver Beach Avenue Approach.

He had sunny skies and a light sea breeze at the start of his ride. But a little after 7 p.m., a heavy storm system swept through the area.

At the airport, the National Weather Service recorded 0.86 inches of rain in one hour just before 9 p.m. The New Smyrna Beach Municipal Airport recorded gusts of up to 23 mph.

“The rain was blowing sideways,” said Coghill. “The wind snapped our tent in half. On the beach, there’s nothing to break the wind.”

But Unklesbay kept pedaling.

“He toughed it out,” Coghill said.

Anonymous said...

Top 10 for once?

Anonymous said...

this unklesbay guy - i'm not sayin what he did was RIGHT, but he apparently did it anyway....


BikeSnobNYC said...


But was the fat bike electric!?!

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Anonymous said...

Hate to be this way about an otherwise entertaining post, but kids don't get juvenile diabetes from eating ice cream. Juvenile diabetes is an autoimmune disease related to genetics and maybe environment and maybe infection.

Kids get fat from eating too much ice cream, which leads to metabolic syndrome and ultimately type 2 diabetes or adult onset diabetes.

Anonymous said...

From a press release on June 18, 2014:

Unklesbay has officially established a Guinness world record for off-road cycling using VEE Tire Co.’s popular Trax Fatty tires on his bike.

Buffalo Bill said...

Those airbags for skiers look pretty useless. These are much goofier.

crosspalms said...

All these stories make me want to stay home and watch TV, but I have a cold, so that's probably affecting my judgment.

wle said...

the fatbike may not have been ELECTRIC but the EXCITEMENT was...


samh said...

Snob, if you get more info on this supposed record breaking bike ride, and it DOES turn out to be electric, please - as it is your duty as a bike blogger - share with us, your good readers.

BSNYC said...

"Well, I turned to a popular search engine, but the results were inconclusive

No one set he didn't set a world "record", just that a quick internet search did not find it.

Dooth said...

Karn Evil Niner

Anonymous said...

The E-Grizzly can go "upstairs"? That's fantastic, I'd hate it if the poor thing were confined to the ground floor.

Comparison Shopper said...

These guys will sell you an electric fat bike for $195 less than the world “record” guy.

Grump said...

Wow !!!!!!!

I wonder if they make tires with that "skull tread" for my road bike?????
If somebody dumps it on turn number four on the bell, and I run over their neck, it would leave a cool tattoo.

Freddy Murcks said...

The NYPD is replacing their "To Serve and Protect" motto with "Why bother with the law when you can do whatever the fuck you want." It's not quite as catchy, but the asshats in NYPD management all the way down to the citizen-harassing rank-and-file officers felt that it was more in keeping with the spirit of the times.

rudy jenkins said...

Further to the stoned ultramarathoners, here's an article about combining LSD with extreme sports: https://www.maps.org/news-letters/v21n1/v21n1-25to29.pdf

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Have you got a DeLorean on that lemon lot of yours?

wishiwasmerckx said...

The Hovding airbag was actually intriguing.

Drawbacks I see? 1) Will start to rub your neck raw after about 10 minutes; 2) Goofy tan lines; 3) If the airbag in your car deploys, it costs between $1,000.00 and $1,500.00 to replace; 4) Does not seem to come in lycra or official team kit colorway; 5)Not suitable for time trials due to reduced aerodynamics; and 6) The Freds at the Saturday morning group ride will make merciless fun of you for wearing it.

CommieCanuck said...

"Hi, I'm Tommy Coghill and I hold a degree in physics..."

Physics..Phys ed..tomayto, tomahto.

"It can go upstairs, over logs, and over most any obstacle your bottom bracket can clear and even some it can’t."

This guy bought the first one.

Tommy Coghill? Sounds made up.

Anonymous said...

Welcome back my friends, to the blog that never ends...

hop_on_pop said...

Cycling and Money: Mutually Exclusive

The joke is on you Snob.

USAC directors make 6-figures. Steve Johnson's salary as reported to the IRS via the non-profit reporting was $300,000+. He's not the only one.

Board members are also permitted to collect "consulting fees" for cycling related work not related to USAC. Directors/Board members also skim sponsorship revenue as "finders fees."

Forget this blogging stuff! Work for the federation!

grog said...


CommieCanuck said...

They already make airbag vests for motorcycle riders and horse jockeys..laugh while you can, but one day you'll cross wheels with some Fred and launch off the Brooklyn Bridge and hit the water thinking, "ya know, an air vest could be super useful right now."

Anonymous said...

Snob - You tricked me into reading the fine print.

Anonymous said...

Today is Tilford's birthday.

BamaPhred said...

I converted a surplus gas mask to a bong and made it thru the blog. Amazingly, it was better. Just kidding, I used it to mask the pain from the conference call I am on whilst reading and commenting on this blog. Now that's what I call multitasking!

dop said...

So, if the Hovding lady lets down her hair & takes off her glasses she's a hottie?

I can imagine a short video, centered around this casual transformation...perhaps a door-to-door Hovding salsman and the farmers daughter...(she has a lot of Loretta Young in her)

leroy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
leroy said...

Well this is a coincidence.

My dog just started a bicycle themed greeting card business.

I don't mean to brag, but I'm an early investor.

Anonymous said...

agreed, while riding in NYC you need to think of a couple things before breaking a traffic law: 1) is it safe to do that and 2) Is there a cop around. I'm hardly an anarchist but bikes shouldn't have to follow the same rules as motor vehicles for all of the obvious reasons.

JB said...

Snob typed: "I would argue that if you have to get stoned in order to complete a task then the task is a complete waste of time and you probably shouldn't begin that task in the first place."

Are you saying that I shouldn't have cleaned my apartment when I was in my mid-20s?

JLRB said...

"I want to be pretty clear here: I probably came across to this officer as a total asshole"

yes, Yes, YES - no doubt about it. In the entire history of time has the "what are you pulling me over for" line of shit ever worked?

If you are not guilty get the ticket and fight it and don't make me read about it like an asshole, while dreaming of bicycling, by business.

BikeSnobNYC said...


Well, if I could do it again, I would not have bothered cleaning in my 20s.

--Wildcat R. Machine

babble on said...

Constant crashing and living to an old age are mutually exclusive, too, though clearly I am intent on testing that hypothesis. Pushing the boundaries of physics the way that the Vancouver housing market is pusing the very limits of possibility.

That was a brilliant blog post, Snobi Wan. I wish you great success with your new car dealership. You are sure to succeed anyway, because obviously we cyclists will buy anything.

1904 Cadardi said...

Nice Brain Salad Surgery image. My Dad used to play E.L.P. endlessly back in the 70's. Oddly, I don't think we was stoned, just into prog rock, which might be worse.

Joe K. said...

I got pulled over by a cop who argued that I was slowing down traffic and would have to keep right to let them pass. I was on a back road that was all of 16 feet wide, tops. The traffic was him and he was the only car I had seen on that 5 miles stretch.

The "Rage-Against-The-Machine-Internet-Hero" Me would have read him the law of our state that a shoulder road with lanes less than 9 feet wide give the right to the cyclist to take, and keep the entire lane so long as the rider is making an effort to get down the road, but the "I'd-Rather-Be-Biking-Than-Sitting-In-The-Back-Of-A-Police-Cruiser" Me said that i would be more vigilant, and moved over to let him through.

It's amazing what 15 years in age and 7 years of marriage does to "RATMIH" Me.

Cops are typically jerks. One just got in an accident in a nearby town while doing 50 in a 25 (without lights or siren) and then pinned it on the other driver for having pot in their trunk.

It's New Jersey, who doesn't have pot in their trunk? Jay and Silent Bob is a documentary.

JLRB said...

Snob -

I have questions:

(1) Did you sign up for a conversation with Ros about FreeRadicals (or is it FredRadicals)?


(b) Why is Ross throwing his child into the sky?

JLRB said...

ps - CAPTCHA has been messing with my attempts to post inane comments via phone the last couple of days. Be sure to send it a thank you note.

B Franklin said...

SNOB Car Dealership. When your salesman, Fabian shows me a car I can rest assured it's an electric, right?

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

I got pulled over yesterday by the State po-po on my way to the grocery store. 50 in a 35. $156 US fun tickets. Expensive trip.

Its funny now being older and served by young duders half my age. Intimidation factor was pretty much nil but still I'm always polite. Although he was a little guy with Napoleon tendencies he had a gun and a radio to call back up.

The Karmic irony of the whole thing was the two days before I spent driving from south Florida to Ohio at speeds of 85-90 mph on the freeway. You know that big wide road where you're free to drive however you want.

Anonymous said...

the "airbags" for skiers are likely avalanche survival equipment. They keep a pocket of open space around the person trapped under the snow. This gives a better chance of survival.

Anonymous said...

"Although it's gaining in popularity, the Fruit Bicycle has yet to make money."

So now they are trying to get other people on board, gee thanx......

P. Bateman said...

Fuck Fruit.

Anonymous said...

Marijuana: Its not just for NBA/NFL athletes anymore.

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

Helments?, for eating fruit?

Anonymous said...

NYT's Ben Protess and Jessica Silver-Greenberg: "The Justice Department is pushing some of the biggest banks on Wall Street - including, for the first time in decades, American institutions - to plead guilty to criminal charges that they manipulated the prices of foreign currencies. In the final stages of a long-running investigation into corruption in the world's largest financial market, federal prosecutors have recently informed Barclays, JPMorgan Chase, the Royal Bank of Scotland and Citigroup that they must enter guilty pleas to settle the cases ... The pleas would be likely to carry a symbolic stigma, if limited actual fallout, in handing felony convictions to some of the world's biggest banks.

"Yet even as those cases head toward negotiations over potential plea ... additional currency misconduct has surfaced in a New York state investigation, confidential documents show. The documents, excerpts from online chat rooms reviewed by The New York Times, suggest that banks designed electronic trading platforms that effectively drove up the price of currencies sold to clients. In the chats, replete with expletives and industry jargon, employees described and even joked about how the platform would cancel trades that ceased to be profitable for the bank

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

Potbelly Joe, yourcop on the backroad reminds me of a time a friend and I were taking LIRR back from Montauk after a century. In the lead car of a six car train, the two of us sat with only our bikes as the only other inhabitants on a fine October afternoon. The conductor came by and reprimanded us because our bikes were annoying the other passengers, of which, there were none.

Train conductors hate bikes as much as cops.

trama said...

Daily Show guy calling it quits. WCRM-Are you up for it?

Anonymous said...

It seems like one big problem with bikes in NY city is that the cops there seem to have a culture of being assholes. I say that in all seriousness. NYC cops seem like dicks. I live in Madison WI and as long as you are not black the cops don't mess with you. And when you do interact with them (as a white person), they are not all stressed out, angry, and inclined to dickishness. I've even argued been incredulous and argumentative over the tickets the are giving me and they have not clubbed and arrested me for resisting arrest.

dop said...

White Privilege: I found my neighbor's son standing next to his car, which he'd run into a ditch. He declined my offer o a ride, until I told him to come with me before the cops came by & he was arrested. I took him home & made necessary calls. his brother picked him up, and his mom & I went to the car to wait for the tow truck. Mr. Cop was waiting for us. asked whgo we were & if the the driver was all right.

dop said...

btw...the kid was plastered & Mr. cop was kind enough to tell us he smelled alcohol & he trusted us to administer discipline as needed

Anonymous said...

Welcome back my friends, to the show that never ends, ladies and gentlemen, Bike Snob NYC...

Not a New Yorker said...

Nuke Wall Street.
Too big to fail? Too big to exist

Anonymous said...

time to strap on the bib shorts, fire up a bowl, and go for a 50 mile run

Dave said...

I tried Quantum Jumping - went back to 1975 and gave myself a lot of good advice. Of course it never works - the stupid kid said to me, "Fuck off, gramps - computers will never amount to anything." So I says to myself, I says, "You'll be sorry, punk." But I never was - I didn't remember that old fart at all. I suppose it's just as well - forbidden knowledge, inescapable fate, etc.

Anonymous said...

--Playing computer games;
--Listen to Emerson, Lake and Palmer albums;
--Reading this blog.

Frittos, dorittos, pringles, ice cream

Anonymous said...

about cop culture: As the comparison is made between NYC and Madison (how hard can the cops be in a city full of lesbians?) Let me report from Germany: You can't get a cop here riled up. Not possible. The result? Every situation they enter becomes immediately calmer and safer for all involved, not just if you are white lesbians. Turkish youth, unlike their bookish German counterparts, can be fairly 'exuberant'. Doesn't matter, these guys stay so cool. It really does a lot to cut down on the whole 'i just got my ass kicked by a roid rage cop' problem.

babble on said...

I am confused. Having had multiple prescriptions for medical mary jane, I conducted thorough research for a few years, and learned the hard way that it does not, in fact, work as an effective analgesic, although it does help with nausea. What it also does is take your mind off the pain, but then it also takes your mind off any train of thought you might be trying to sustain. And after time, I noticed that it causes anxiety, and yes, both strains did it. But the thing that tipped the scales was that the stem of the vapouriser was always coated with a darkish oily substance which only rubbing alcohol would remove, and I didn't want that stuff in my lungs. How can you possibly be a better athlete if you're smoking the stuff, never mind vaping it?

Oxygen is essential to performance, and the CO from any kind of smoke sticks with you, making it impossible to deliver oxygen to your muscles. So I don't understand. Is smoking pot really 'a thing' with endurance athletes these days?? Yikes.

JB said...

For medical use, there are dozens of strains and aren't some better for nausea, pain killing, head high, body high, and just fvcking loopy?

If running, I would think that a couple of hours of pain killing would be worth a few minutes of O2 deficiency. The best would be edibles; not screwing with your lungs at all.


Spokey said...


I guess that physics class didn't include english.

here in snobbie's hemorroids, that ~30mph won't be street legal.

Spokey said...

But at its core, Quantum Jumping is simply an advanced visualization exercise

The biggest problem with quantum jumping is that pesky quantum entanglement shit. it'll trip you up every time.

J. Dahmer said...


Why will you not feature my MEATSICLE (pronounced MEAT cic ul) MEATCYCLE. Vending Meat Pops for over 45 days.

Spokey said...


One just got in an accident in a nearby town while doing 50 in a 25 (without lights or siren) and then pinned it on the other driver for having pot in their trunk.

hey was that here? did I miss that one? maybe i missed it paying too much attention to the one caught DWI because he was depressed when his gf got caught robbing that bank.

Anonymous said...

I won a couple regional races on pot. Probably not uncommon in mountain biking.

Good one rock crusher.

The Robot Engineer said...

I assume that the so-called "Mike Unclesbay" is actually Pig Latin for "Mike Buncles."

Gary Fumeaux said...

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Joe Pa said...

Quantum jumping sounds suspiciously like a music program promoted in a movie from the early 60's.

Also I'm a bicycle cop in St Louis and I haven't given any tickets to cyclists but I wanted to many times. Some Fred's are just bad cyclists...

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