Tuesday, October 21, 2014

No time for titles, let's get moving!!!

So how was your bike commute today?  Was it raining?  Did some douchebag in an SUV honk at you?  Well, save it, because unless a dick on a BMX kicked your front wheel out from under you, you probably don't have too much to complain about:

Raphael Carrondo was pushed into the side of the vehicle by a BMX rider.

Just moments before, the 32-year-old was forced to slam on his brakes as the unknown rider tried undertaking him as the pair were passing a parked bus.

Then, about 100 yards up the road as Raphael was overtaking a coach just as it began pulling out, the cyclist rode past his right side and kicked his front wheel.

Here is the very moment at which the rogue BMXer launched his lifestyle sneaker at the cyclist:

The assailant remains at large, though police suspect he was enraged by the victim's CamelBak:

The BMXer was last seen being a virgin and wearing a flat-brim cap and a "Red Bull Gives You Road Rage" t-shirt, so keep your eyes open for him.

In other news, yesterday I kvetched and bloviated about cycling in and around New York City--which, now that I think about it, is pretty much what I do every day.  (Well that's depressing.)  Specifically, I scoffed at "Bicycling" magazine's suggesting Oceanside as a cycling destination, mostly because Oceanside is so incredibly lame that even people in East Rockaway derisively refer to it as "Rockville Centre's soiled underpants."

Well, if bike advocates have their way, you'll be able to add a whole new list of questionable destinations to your New York City cycling bucket list, because a bike lane on the Verrazano Bridge would mean you'd finally be able to access exotic locales like Staten Island and (be still my heart, I can hardly even type the name without swooning) Bayonne:

The activists are campaigning for what they call the Harbor Ring, a roughly 50-mile route that circumnavigates the waterfronts of three boroughs and New Jersey. Starting in Staten Island, it crosses the Bayonne Bridge, heads up the New Jersey Gold Coast to Weehawken, onto a ferry to West 39th Street in Manhattan, down the Hudson River Greenway and the Battery, over the Manhattan Bridge, and finishes on the waterfront in Brooklyn from Red Hook to Bay Ridge.

With booming bike use on both sides of both rivers, the only missing link is the Verrazano.

All kidding aside, a bike lane on the Verrazano Bridge is long overdue, and if anything the utter lack of cycling facilities on three of New York City's mightiest suspension bridges (the Verrazano, the Whitestone, and the Throgs Neck) is yet another reason I scoff--scoff, I tell you!--at the idea that we're America's Number One Bike City:

This latest push for a bike lane on the Verrazano has received a fair amount of local media attention recently, and I strongly suggest you refrain from reading the comments on any of the articles about it, because they usually run along these lines:

--Morons insisting the cyclists should have to pay the same toll as the drivers because drivers pay for the roads (Staten Islanders are very resentful of tolls, because apparently they didn't realize they were moving onto an island until they tried to leave it);

--Morons saying they don't want bikes coming to Staten Island because then they'll get invaded by Brooklyn hipsters;

--Morons saying the bridge is "too windy" for bikes.

That last one's my favorite.  Every time the Verrazano bike lane thing comes up someone weighs in and says the bridge is too windy, which is funny because the Five Boro Bike Tour goes across the bridge every year and I have no recollection of thousands of dorks in pinnies being blown off the bridge and swept out to sea:

Though if they did I suppose they'd be easy to find.  Not only would they be highly visible in their pinnies, but they'd also be highly buoyant in their giant Bell helmets from 1989.  (This is standard issue headgear for the typical Five Boro Bike Tour rider, and a medium-sized adult could use one as a dinghy without much difficulty.)

Speaking of the Five Boro Bike Tour, I was perusing Kickstarter when I stumbled upon the ideal charity ride slayer:

Or, if you prefer, the ultimate sidewalk-riding bike:

You know the story by now.  Designer and engineer can't find a bike that meets his incredibly high standards, blah blah blah:

"Because as I looked around most commuter bicyclist are either riding converted mountain bikes or they're riding converted road bikes."


Well, as far as he's concerned the answer is yes, so he invented "the first carbon commuter bike on the market:"

Which is emphatically not the first crabon bike on the market, and he'd better be careful because Specialized is liable to sue him for making that claim:

Nevertheless, he maintains that his bike is "revolutionary:

"What's revolutionary about the Rogue is the bike itself weighs 20 and a half pounds, which is unheard of for a commuter bike."

This is emphatically not unheard of for a commuter bike--or for a flat bar "cyclecross" bike (or what we used to call a "hybrid" back in the '90s), which is basically what this is:

Also, it's made of you-know-what:

"It's made out of carbon.  Carbon compared to alloys is approximately seven and a half times stronger, but is usually somewhere in the region of about 50 or 60 percent lighter."

Which alloys exactly?  There are many.  This is like saying "apples are approximately five times more delicious than melons."

But it's not just the crabon and the low weight that make this bike revolutionary.  It's also got something else:

"Most bikes on the market right now are using a technology that's over 100 years old, which is a chain."

Yeah, you know what's coming.  Come on, it's Rule #1 in the "Reinventing the Hybrid" handbook!  Let's all say it at the same time:

("Carbon!  Belt!  Drive!")

Which is also the "same apparatus that's used on motorcycles and some of the heavier industry type vehicles like combine harvesters..."

Yeah, that's right.  Combine harvesters:

That's exactly like a bicycle.

Also, the bicycle chain may be well over 100 years old, but technically so is the belt drive bicycle, which was first patented in 1890:

Instead of using sprocket-wheels upon the driving-axle and rear axle, as has heretofore been the almost universal custom in Safety bicycles, I use pulleys having V -shaped grooves upon both of said axles and transmit Fig. 4, 6251- 'iCO 1 edges-inclined toward each other to correspond with the V-shaped grooves in the driving and driven pulleys,the engagement of the belt with the pulleys being wholly with its edges.

I'm just saying, that's all.

And that's not all, either.  Where would you be (literally) without GPS?

"The first GPS system is an application that you download on your phone.  That basically gives you things like speed, cadence, elevation, and it shows you the map of your area so you can pretty much track your rides and you can share them with various people..."

So, basically, Strava.

And it's also got the theft-tracking device you've now come to expect from Kickstarter:

"The second part of the GPS is more for safety.  So if you park your bike or lock it and it gets stolen, you can basically go back onto your phone, send your bike an SMS asking where it is, it'll send back location..."

In other words, you send a message to your bike:

And you get a reply:


Also the bike has built-in lights, yada yada yada, but most importantly it has Futuristic Space Fenders:

I like how the rear one provides 100% protection to the rider behind you, while simultaneously offering 0% protection to your own ass.


samh said...


Vernal Magina said...


Anonymous said...


Bryan said...

just missed the podio. But at least in the top 10

Anonymous said...

top ten bollocks.

Freddy Murcks said...

Missed the podium because I was worried that Snob had been attacked in the woods behind the mall by a bicycle seat wielding mad man wearing nothing but a Team Sky jersey.

Angry Beaver in Miramichi said...

Any truth to the rumor that Cipo is going to run for mayor of Toronto?

Angry Beaver in Miramichi said...

Cipo looks a lot like Richard Nixon in that painting.

ken e. said...

lazy mclazerton, reporting in!

Anonymous said...

top 10?

McFly said...

Whew. At first I thought that said "No Time for titties, let's get moving!!

Unknown said...

Can't wait to be KOM'ing it on that ferry segment.

P. Bateman said...

your mom is riding me. that is gooooood stuff.

always, i repeat, ALWAYS have time for titties.

Cipo might be mayor of toronto, but i'll be mayor of titty city


Greenbelt said...

One U.S. Dollar currently equals 21,230 Vietnamese Dong. The Dollars per Dong ratio has been firm for the last several years, but it rose quite a bit in 2010 and 2011.

erikbe said...

Jesus! Riding in England must suck! Every video I've seen looks likes something from the Brunelle Library and is littered with HOT CAT 6 ACTION!!

I'm an expert because I saw it on YouTube.

David said...

So good.
If there is a Verrazano bridge pedestrian path, will you be able to ride on it, or will you have to walk your bike? So many of the pedestrian paths on bridges in the city require you to walk your bike.

Poppa Wheelie said...

Funny fender

Bryan said...

That was terrible. No, not your daily post. That Rogue. Full of things he just made up. CDale has the Quick Carbon 1, that apparently is rack and fender compatible. It is also only 2 G's...not 4-6. They also are making the CAAD8 in a flat bar option this year, and the CAAD 8 is a pretty darn light bike for alloy. 6061 alloy is fairly light. The weight in alloy bikes usually comes from heavy wheels. But whatevs. Also, those integrated lights look like shit. They don't look like they would give you much illumination at all. And if someone insists on integrated lights, I would insist they be dynamo powered so I wouldn't have to futz with pulling them out to charge.
One last thing...his voice bothered the fuck out of me. Big time.
Nope, I lied, I have more. Why the hell would he advertise a GPS system based off of your phone. Phones have their own GPS built in. No one is going to use that app, they are going to use Strava since it has a much larger audience. I wanna smack him around.

Anonymous said...

You're Mom's riding me. Snort! I'm going to get in trouble with that one. Thanks Snob! Although, at my age, the image of my peers' mom riding me is more disgusting than I want to contemplate.

dop said...


streepo said...

I definitely need something to protect my scranus. No sale!!

crosspalms said...

Pretty revolutionary looking brakes on that bike, too. What are those things?

emily littella said...

the heading is "No time for titles..."..

For a second there I thought it said no time for titties. That's different.

David G said...

Re windy bridge concerns: My one time doing the NYC Marathon, those of us on the Verrazano's lower level enjoyed a prolonged, refreshing shower of pee from the upper level runners relieving themselves over the upwind side of the span, and it blowing back under and onto us. But none of us were actually blown into the bay,

Your Mom said...

I just want to get my freak on, too. I may be 48 but I love to ride.

Bryan said...

And I cannot help myself...back again. Clicked on his kick starter page, went to the FAQs....this is what he says about racks...
"Racks impede maneuverability under useful load, therefore we will be offering a 100% waterproof backpack option to carry your precious cargo if we obtain enough scale with our bicycle sales."
I'm sorry, but I schlep around (sorry, I portage) my crap on racks and maneuverability is just fine and dandy. Using a backpack is a pure nightmare after 3 miles.

And be on the lookout for a Di2 model if they get to 500k. Imagine how happy all of the bike thieves would be if everybody started commuting around town on these things

Anonymous said...

Mom scranus

Bryan said...

no wonder Portland slipped to #4 for cyclebiking when you have people setting up IEDs along a trail

shining trapezoid said...

Quite the carbon footprint on that thing. Is it BMX-proof?

Jefe said...

That bike will never make it to Oceanside.

trama said...

SF clowns now want to charge bikes to cross GG bridge. And pedestrians. Because, you know, budget shortfalls of $33 million. I say, they put the Bud Get in budget.



grog said...

So is there a feud between roadies and BMXers? Why would a kid on a bike kick-off another rider? Would a "Rogue" prevent this kind of crazy?

If it's windy, take the bus said...

So, is anyone going to use the Verranero to get somewhere or will it mainly be a Fred enabler?

Joe K. said...

There is always time for Titties, let's get groovin'

"Find a fucking bridge and put a bike lane in it!" - Diane Stavino at the meeting for a bike lane on the Verrazano

So this group not only wants a lane on the Verrazano, but they also want one on the Bayonne Bridge too? Good luck with that. Also, why ferry at Weehauken when you can complete the Fred-loop with a strava dash across the GWB?

It'd be 50 miles, meaning there'd be morons doing the double loop of it for 100-mile rides on their Strava bragging board.

Oy vey.

If I were going to ride 50 miles on bike in NYC, Satan Island is likely the last place I would want to go. Flatbush Ave would look downright pedestrian compared to any road in Staten island.

Please remember, this was the borough that wanted to put in a NASCAR track. They will put you EENADIRTCH as quickly as they can. The whole reason the toll on the Verizonno is $14 is to keep Brooklynites and Staten Icelanders from intermingling. A bike path could cause full-on classless warfare.

Help us Snobi Wan, you're our only hope.

JB said...

Snob, you haven't upgrade your phone to iOS 25! What's wrong with you?

Also, I think the Verrazano Bridge may indeed be a bit too windy.

Billy said...

So causing a BMX rider to slow down for a moment is a murdering offense? That's insane. It's really crazy how worked up people get over going from point A to point B.

Then again, it's a miracle of modern civilization that we don't wander around constantly trying to murder every stranger we meet: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B008EKOO46?btkr=1

David G said... the funniest thing I've read so far today. New York is just a lovely place...

Also, to the Kickstarter idiot, ultimate commuter bike in one word: opafiets. https://www.google.com/search?q=opafiets&espv=2&biw=1280&bih=1479&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=K6hGVNOaB4zHggSk2YDIAw&ved=0CB0QsAQ

Although I do have to admit I'm considering the aluminum alloy version.

Ben said...

Raphael Carrondo there should feel lucky that the BMX rider didn't succeed in his attempt at an "undertaking maneuver" or that would have been a different story entirely. At least then they could have mentioned the fact that he was wearing a helmet.

Olle Nilsson said...

$14 toll!? No wonder they want a bike lane. Ouch.

Anonymous said...

So, Snob, how's your cell coverage with ASS? I'll be the data rates are just....shitty....

JB said...

After seeing that BMXer, if I commuted via bike, I think I'd open carry.

If it's concealed and you have to pull it out to scare off some punk-ass, then you're in trouble for wielding a gun.

And I currently own 0 firearms.

burma shave said...


recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Bike commute was nice. No honking or dicks on bmxs. Not even an indecisive jaywalking squirrel. Just me, my bike and the quiet empty streets.

Crabon commuter?! What a nut job. Everybody knows titanium makes for the best commuting bikecycle. Steel works great too for those of less-than-Budnitz means.

Anonymous said...

A colleague just upgraded to that Specialized, from a late 70s low end 27" frame, low maintenance (as in, he did not do any maintenance until something broke) Nishiki for years. His commute had changed from 0.5 miles to 8 miles, and he was looking for an upgrade. He'll need to add fenders, but it has plenty of tire clearance, even with the stock 30 mm tires. Aluminum frame, carbon fork, Tiagra, $1400. The Nishiki was $10 from a friend. Nice bikes out there, either way.

1904 Cadardi said...

"apples are approximately five times more delicious than melons."

Yes, yes they are. Does that mean this bike is good?

How long before it turns itself into a pile of expensive carbon toothpicks?

Joe K. said...

"If they can't build a nipple ring out of it, I don't want a frame made of it."

-Old Man Budnitz

Anonymous said...

RE: Bryan, about lights

The new USB powered battery/LED light options are fantastic! For $35 Cateye will sell you a 100 lumen model (enough light for most everything except off-road), with proper beam aiming and projection to the sides, too. Get 2 for a backup should the battery go low, or keep last year's light in reserve. This is the same performance that I paid $90 for from Night Rider just 3 years ago.

Once the time changes I'll go into full winter mode -- 4 headlights (flashing + headlight + helmet light + backup), 2 taillights (flashing + solid), plus battery powered christmas lights zip-tied to the frame.

Jan! said...

Looks like the GPS system is from Integrated Trackers. I bought the tail light version after my Brompton was stolen. Haven't had a chance (or the bad luck) to use it "for real", but it seems to work fine.

Anonymous said...

I prefer cupcakes to melons. Hmmm...

Bryan said...

@Anon @ 3:07...I was commenting on those integrated lights that are no more than LEDs w/o any kind of cover o reflective material to direct the light beam at anything other than straight ahead. I've played around with the integrated lights on the CDale Bad Boy commuter and was 100% unimpressed, as you had to take them out of their housing to charge. If forced to have integrated lights on a bike, I think there should also be a hub dynamo system in place...I have nothing wrong with other lights out on the market that are rechargeable and those are the only kind I currently own (bc they aren't integrated and I can switch them from bike to bike).

And lumens really mean diddly squat to me. Give me lux! You could have a 700 lumen light that doesn't spread enough light around to see anything outside of the beam's hotspot. Lux measures area. I love my B&M Ixon IQ Premium that boasts 80 lux, it is rechargeable, the beam is shaped and has a vertical cutoff so as not to blind anyone in front of you with a rearview/sidemirror (being in front of a motorist with highbeams or very bright lights can be more than just a little annoying). I don't blink up front anymore. In the dark, I find it very annoying for my own eyes. I have 2-3 rear lights. One of them is solid, the other that is usually on that bike is often set for a constant pattern of each individual LED being on only one at a time (giving it an up/down movement pattern). If a driver can't see me with all of this I have to call bullshit.

Anonymous said...

Top FIfty!!


Anonymous said...

vsk said ...
Yes, I need a GPS on a bike I will use on the same route day after day.

Yes I want a bike lane on the VZ- would definitely feel like 10 miles of up hill and 10 feet of downhill due to the blood loss. However if I used crabon feebray, I would hardly notice the climb at all right??

BMX guy is nothing compared to all the illiterate food delivery guys going the wrong way in the narrow wheelchair pace bike lanes. You have to be totally illiterate to not understand the meaning of the arrow. Hey Azteca, the joust is on! I guess that Dominos is going to be over 30 min ... sorry.

Yes definitely open carry. Was just in the Depew Cabellas store looking at all the armaments I can not own. Favorite was a 50 caliber Desert Eagle, now it's the "Judge"... six shot revolver that holds .410 shotgun shells. Hey, who needs to aim when you can work with a scattergun?

But hey, peace out, yall !!

vsk / "pizza" on the carousel

Anonymous said...

The guy hawking the Rogue is an engineer? His statements about carbon versus "alloy" are not very engineer-like. As Snob says, there are all sorts of alloys. It is not a nickname for ALUMINUM, dammit, it's a word to describe a metal that is mixed with other metal or metals. There are many types of Steel Alloys, Aluminum Alloys, Titanium Alloys, etc.

Having ridden over the VZ Bridge a few times, probably in a pinner (not sure what that is), I predict that bike path will be virtually fred-free, because that is one very long, lonely, unfun and thankless uphill. You need, like, a 20 pound crabon stupidmobile to get over it.

db said...

your mom's riding me

Almost spat out food when I hit that....

Regular guy said...

Who the hell gets overtaken by a guy riding a BMX bike?

If Oceanside is soiled underpants, what part of town are the dirty socks?

And why would you need a GPS for your commuter bike, don't you know how to get to work and home again already?

Anonymous said...

And why would you need GPS for a commuter bike.. you should know your way to work. . . just sayin'

Lumpen Fredetariat said...

@trama - if the Golden Gate Bridge people are running a budget deficit, it is probably from all the layers of middle management who have spent years stalling on the suicide net. From a selfish standpoint, I would like to see that in place for those nasty windy days when I do worry about getting blown over the waist high railings...

Olle Nilsson said...

All this talk of open carry is making me thirsty - oh, that kind of open carry. Are the cops over in the UK allowed to open carry yet?

JB said...

I thought the Judge was a 50-caliber revolver. After not shooting a gun in 20 years, my BIL said that was what I should start with. I just tried to hold on - no idea where the rounds went.

Anonymous said...

protect my ass.

Anonymous said...

melons...big delicious melons. Babs?

Regular guy said...

I prefer firm tart apples myself.

Anonymous said...

That rear fender looks like the only thing it would do well is trail behind you like a drag chute if you ever managed to reach Fred-WOO-HOO-HOO speed.

Anonymous said...

"The guy hawking the Rogue is an engineer?"

--NO, he is an engineer-slash-Designer

==which explains everything

==if there is a school for that, the first course is BELT DRIVE 101


Spokey said...


the VZ is $15

and if you think i'm gonna pay $15 to biek to staten issland i gotta bridge to sell youse.

From snobbies hemorrhoids to brooklyn is $24 ($9 for outerbridge or Goethals). Plus a little more if you take the turnpike.

I had a constant battle with EZ-pass when peaches was in Carroll Gardens because it didn't auto replenish the account from my credit card until the balance went below $10. I'd call them on the phone and complain that I couldn't get to peaches house for that amount. They would up replenish threshold which would last for six months and then mysteriously revert to the $10.

thankfully peachy moved to portlandia so it is a lot cheaper to visit her.

Anonymous said...

No BMX pukes on my commute today. Hah! No commute! VACATION BITCHES!!! (No BMX pukes on my stretchy-pants ride either)

dana said...

Rogue C6 - burrrrn!

dop said...


Joe K. said...


I saw it went up again. $14, $15, $87, doesn't matter, too much and not going that way hannyways.

It's only $10.67 if you has EZPass, which will not be a biek add-on.

I think I'll kick start a wearable ez-pass for bridges to toll walkers and riders (based on number of axles, that way rollerblading is strongly discouraged financially) That way drivers don't feel like they're wasting their money on a bike lane.

Kill 'em all says the car driver, Lob will recognize his own.

Anonymous said...

vsk said...

JB, was just in Cabellas and saw it in brushed stainless finish.
In the good old days I got a S&W Model 29 N frame with a 6" bbl.
Bought it at a range in PA and kept it there. Used the guys custom loaded ammo. Shot flames out the side of the cylinder. Just hang on, ear protection did nothing. Hands hurt for a few hours later.
Had it shipped to Alpine Arms, got the target permit and everything, in the early 1990s. Like $350 for the permit you wait 6 - 9 months for.
All went great. Indoor ranges didn't want a .44 mag being used, too powerful, even when loaded w .44 special. OK great, so now I just had this heavy locked box I couldn't even hit someone over the head with. 2 years later, $350 permit renewal time. Paid $180 for the item 2 years prior, sold it for like $100 then to a shop in Brooklyn. Maybe one day I'll do it all over again. In another state.


Anonymous said...

Just when you thought bike-cycling racers could not be more ridiculous, everyone's SECOND favorite doper in Canada's scranus, George Hincapie has a $10,000 entry fee for his gran fondo of dopers.

Oh yes, $10,000 includes staying in the doper's hotel.

Ewww! Scammy.


chunkylover said...

A Verrazano path would cut my commute from 22 miles down 8...I'd miss the boat ride, though.

Anonymous said...

I am a robot and I can use some HTML tags like bold and italic and anchor

Spokey said...

there is a discount but not simply sleasy pass. Not sure how you get it but think you have to have the NY sleasy pass. I went over that thing saturday morning and the full $15 with my sleasy pass (NJ).

BTW the SIE was stop and go going westbound prior to 9AM on a sat morning. Don't know how people put up with living or working there.

but life is good. a little cool this pm but nice fall riding around the boro.

Spokey said...

oh and the transponder snaps on the windshield with a velcro-like 3M attachment. Should be able to put a couple of those on your handlebar bag and off you go.

Joe K. said...

My car requires the license-plate-mounted unit that stops working mid-winter.

Just looked and yes, the $10.67 is a NY EZPass, having had mine before NJ had EZPass, my account is still an NY one despite being an NJ address, apparently because I get the discounts at the bridges.

I figure you could just put in in the saddlebag with the spare tube, or make a saddlebag EZpass transponder so the freds have no excuse for why they weren't prepared for a ride...

BikeSnobNYC said...

Spokey and Potbelly Joe,

I believe Staten Island residents pay an effective toll of $5.50 after resident discount and rebates--and you're only tolled one way.

But evidently some of them feel the cyclists who aren't even allowed on the bridge yet should subsidize their commute even more.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Anonymous said...

Now available... tickets to the latest outdoor theatre spectacular to hit New York City. The bikesnobNYC autobiographical bike tour. Book now to see the snob grow in the harshest environments in the world. You'll be amazed that he is still alive. Narrated and MC'd by the rock machine himself...

Flyover BC said...

The BMX hooligan who kicked the roadie must have been on the way to a soccer match.

Or maybe he was a radicalized malcontent of middle-eastern descent engaging in an opportunistic jihad against an infidel.

Or maybe he was the artist who painted Team SKY massacre at the Arch of Triumph, and he mistook the roadie for a Frenchman.

In any case, I'm sure there was no criminality in his behavior.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 6:31pm,

Lots of adversity, especially my years in the Five Towns.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Spokey said...


the feds have highway data for federal and the states

about 30 cents on the dollar for roads comes from the gas tax. If you add up licenses and all other driver / user fees, they pay roughly 1/2. The other half comes from taxes that we all pay.

'course that didn't stop the woman about a month ago telling me she knew the law and i should get off the road on to the sidewalk (which ended a little bit up the road). and i wasn't even blocking her. was in the rightmost straight through lane while she was in the right turn lane.

semi serious cyclist said...

American bicycle kulture has gone mainstream and become characteristically inept like our national ethos about all things bike-ey.

the fender on the carbon bike says it all. Some one with bike cred should suggest he market a bicycle cape to complement his bike and the fender. A reverse toilet bowl when it rains.

I like mainstreaming bike culture, i just wish we were more intelligent about it? But then again, everyones' bike's would look like Jan Heine's because, you know, 650b.

Barry Obola said...

If you like your Mom riding me you can keep your Mom riding me

Flyover BC said...

Did you say mainstream will look like Jane's heinie, which is a 650b? Is that metric cheek size or what?

Blazing Saddles said...

Ran across the VN Bridge in the marathon and it was really windy, I think everyone had Boston Baked Beans for their pre-race meal.

Bryan said...

Its easy...EZ Pass takes a picture of your plates if you dont have one and use the EZ Pass lane. Just put a sign on your back stating you are Eben Weiss and no problem. Snob can pay in Dongs. Or whiever your favorite scaoe goat is

babble on said...

Your mom is riding me?! HA! OMG that was GREAT!! Heh heh I nearly choked when I read that one. Gawd I love you, snobberdooderdoo. Or should I say Snobi Wan? That makes perfect sense, seeing as you are our spiritual leader, n'all.

++ on that one, Potbelly Joe. Hats off.

Um, and what IS it about this crowd that our minds always leap to titties, hmmm? Were we tragically underbreastfed?! Oh who cares. Acceptance is all.

Mmmmm melons. I love melons. :D

BikeSnobNYC said...


Cyclists who own cars are exempt from gas tax and license and registration fees, everyone knows that.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

ouabacher said...

If you're still running a belt drive combine, you might think about cash renting your little ten acre parcel. Yes, I know this shit.

Joe K. said...

Mr. Snob,

You are right about the extra SI-ers get to write off for taxes. Keep in mind they also have those big orange death boats for free access to real-NY. Someone in Staten Island really hates the people who live there to constantly subsidize their leaving. Unfortunately, much like that damn cat, they always come back the very next day.

I got a talking to the other day on a ride here in New York's bedroom for riding two-abreasts on a country back road.

Since the lane was narrow with no shoulder and we were getting into single file if there were any cars, the law said we were in the right, but you can't convince Johnny Law about his laws, so we thanked him for not running us over and rode single file until we were out of his township. He was polite about his wrongly held belief at least.

I can't expect drivers to know the laws since they are complete nonsense and even those hired to enforce them know nothing about them.

Mother Rider said...

In Vancouver Town, Canada, you can ride the complete waterfront on a bike route from East Van, around Stanley Park, False Creek and Kitsalano, all the way to Spanish Banks. There is very little interaction with motor vehicles but one does have to experience the lingering odour of cannabis at times. Look out Portland, better hang on tight to that bike blissin' crown.

Anonymous said...

First, what is wrong with a modified mountain bike to ride in the fuckin city? Damn it. A flat city especially. Modify away. And I now want a James Bond rocket launcher for asshole BMX riders. I want to blow that sheet up into little specks of meat.

OK. I have been drinking.

I am not opposed to integrated lights but they have to be superior to the simple rechargeable Light N Motion lights that are just bullet proof. You pop them right on. They are brighter than God's umbilicus.

Enough. Snob is worth it just for trolling through all that kickstarter shit. I hope someone is paying you for that. Like swirling around in the toilet for candy.

Good on ya.

Deepthroat said...

Babble nearly choked? Bullshit.

I'm being Ernest said...

Verrazano Five Boro bikers with dorky helmets, cross the bridge for free, so it's so not a for whom wears the Bell tolls situation.

babble on said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Pablo said...

I bet that no one in that Five Boro Bike Tour was sporting BSNYC Waltz headgear. This means that can draw strange parallels to do with bridges and a lack of caps.

Pablo said...

ONE can draw... Blast!

wishiwasmerckx said...

Oh, all right then...

wishiwasmerckx said...


wishiwasmerckx said...


wishiwasmerckx said...

...and 100th!

Spokey said...

congrats wiwm

leroy said...

You know, 101 is the number of Dalmatians in that movie. Just sayin'.

Need advice for a new commuter bike. Crashed old road bike and new parts probably close to what a new bike might cost. Those bar end streamers ain't cheap.

And I'm not about to go Rogue.

ce said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ce said...

The thing that really grinds my internal planetary gears about the Futuristic Space Fenders on the crabonified '90's hybrid revival bike is not that they are ill designed for the purpose of foiling road spray - obviously the design priority was unabashedly biased towards aesthetics - but, that the designer then totally fucked up these aesthetics by misaligning the mounting angles juuuust so. Not clearly matching, not deliberately antagonistic, just carelessly there, like that.

And yes, I did lay two rulers upon my computer screen to check that the disconcerting angles are not the result of an optical illusion.

In this case, hybrid = one part shit, one part shitter.

ce said...

Yes, yes, it may be that the designer intended the fenders to be aligned and wasn't present to oversee assembly of the bicycle used in the photo shoot, or something like that - but no, no excuse.

Whatever the case may be, the designer should have anticipated the potential indifference of the assembler/end user and designed any possibility of that shit out of the structure of the fender mounting point to protect the long term integrity of the design aesthetics.

ce said...

Adjustability, to tweak fender position for performance?

Bullshit. If performance is a real concern, shape those wheel brows to work properly in the first place.

Or, just rip off Grant Petersens brows and crabonify those.

ce said...

Well, it's been nice talking to myself anyway. Looking forward to seeing me next time.

Anonymous said...

I see Snob has opted for "Rockville Centre" on the little map. Been spending too long in Yurp?

McFly said...

I think Commuter Wheel Sweep is a new discipline at the 2015 X Games. Dave Mirra will own it if he can knock off this RAAM nonsense.

semi serious cyclist said...

Hey, BSNYc.. i was just reading the latest edition of the Economist and nearly choked on my coffee when the article mentioned 'curated kickstarter pages.' I'm confident you've caught wind of these, but some us living downwind of America's armpit are culturally a couple of decades behind the rest of the country.

Kickstarter's Curated pages

Anyway, i don't think i'd read of such curation here at your blog. This blog is also my only reference for kickstarter information. Previous to the article mentioning curating make believe in the Economist rag BSNYC was the only place i'd ever even encounter such visionary loonies.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 3:54am,

No. That's how it's spelled.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

JB said...

Communist East Coast Elites.

JB said...

Leroy, I'm no expert and don't commute via bike, but if you're looking at brand new, I'd think one of those "gravel grinder" types would be good for commuting with maybe a change of tires (relaxed geo, dick breaks, rack/fender mounts?). Otherwise, just build up a Surly.

Anonymous said...

Leroy, are you ok? Nothing broken, not too bruised and road rashed? That must have been some crash.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Cold and gray with a light mist on the ride in today. I did find a quarter in the street so that's cool.

Mr. Sturmey said...

”Need advice for a new commuter bike.”

Raleigh Sports or Superbe. $50 to $200 off craig’s list or ebay.

Anonymous said...

I gotta admit the built in lights are pretty cool.

Anonymous said...

Here is a loop that includes the great Island of Staten.
UWS to GWB in Jersey, down river road, onto bike path that goes from Weehawken to Jersey city (stopping for beers at Zeppelin Hall in JC), continue on to Bayonne, Bayonne Bridge to Staten Island, take Richmond Terrace (stopping at Leidy's Shore Inn, the oldest bar in SI) for refreshments. Continue to Staten Island Ferry terminal. Ferry back to Manahattan, Greenway back up town, stopping at the Frying Pan for an al fresco beer, continue up Greenway to UWS. Two bridges, two states, two boroughs, a boat ride and a few beers. A nice way to spend a Sunday afternoon.

dop said...


You've posted some nasty stuff on these pages, but that sounds like a great ride.

Anonymous said...

Your mums riding me.

First time I've laughed during 2 years this shit.

Unknown said...

Great, thanks for all the helpful info!

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