Thursday, August 14, 2014

Professional Test Pilot: Do Not Attempt!

Let's put the "bike" in "bike blog," shall we?

You may recall that on Tuesday I un-boxed and assembled a so-called "Saturday Deluxe" from the State Bicycle Co.

As you can see above, since then I've successfully installed the frontal racking system, and it took me longer to do this than to assemble the entire rest of the bicycle.  This isn't to say the front rack is overly complicated or poorly designed or anything like that, because it isn't.  It's just that there are various small nuts and bolts involved, and I also forgot to install two crucial ones, so I had to take the whole thing off and do it over again.

This should be of no concern to you, for I am an idiot.  Rest assured that if you can manage to assemble a piece of Ikea furniture you will probably be able to get your new State bicycle rolling in relatively short order.

Moreover, I was quite the busy Fred yesterday, because in addition to front-racking the State I also finally got around to obtaining a new Micro SD card for my Fly6 rear tail-light camera!

And you know what that means, dontcha?  That's right, it means you get to come with me for a ride!

Here's the Fly6 the moment it became operational again:

Please excuse the garbage bags.  What do you want from me?  It's trash day.  Also, please excuse the fact that my gray t-shirt is drenched in perspiration.  I suffer from a disorder that causes me to sweat heavily whenever I perform even the most minor mechanical task on a bicycle.  Simply installing a water bottle cage causes me to drench myself like Albert Brooks in "Broadcast News," so you can imagine that assembling an entire rack turns me into Willy Water Bug.

It's disgusting.

So with the State together and the Fly6 rolling, I set out on a neighborhood "shakedown ride" during which I would complete two (2) tasks:

1) Go to the store and purchase an item I needed;

2) Test the cup holder in the front rack by purchasing a beverage and placing it inside the cupholder, and then riding around with it.

So I mounted up and off I went:

Yeah, that's right, I'm wearing flip-flops.  Deal with it.  What, I'm gonna put on shoes on a hot summer day to go to the store?  Please.  You're lucky I'm even wearing clothes.

As you may have noticed, the State Saturday Deluxe is a single-speed bicycle with a coaster brake, which is obviously best suited for the kind of flat terrain you find in America's trendiest and most annoying neighborhoods--your Missions, your Bushwicks, your Pearl Districts, and so on.  I, however, live in a non-trendy neighborhood on a ridge, and some of my neighborhood streets are legitimately steep, so I had to dig deep into my suitcase of sex toys in order to get the bike going:

Of course, as a two-time veteran of the Single Speed World Championships I knew I could manhandle (or at least Fredhandle) the State up just about anything.  I was less certain, however, how the coaster brake-only situation would work on the way down.  As it turns out, it was just fine, though as you can see from the "jorts overhang" in the next still I made sure to shift my considerable weight back for maximum coaster brake retarding force on the downhills:

(Heh.  Heh.  He said "retarding force.")

Meanwhile, the quasi-artisanal wood bottom of the front rack acted like a snare drum and be-bopped entertainingly as my Knog lock bounced around on top of it due to the irregular road surface:


Yes, you can get away with a lock like this when you're running quick errands in non-trendyville.

I should also point out that the sun had only just come out after roughly 24 hours of rain, so I did momentarily lose traction on some wet leaves at the bottom of the hill, which probably wouldn't have happened if I'd also had access to a handbrake:

Then again, I'm an experienced stunt rider, and losing traction with a coaster brake while wearing flip-flops is exactly the kind of death-defying thrill for which I live.

Look, more "climbing!"

Up and down, up and's no wonder I'm so incredibly fit.

Don't believe me?  Check my Strava!

Watch out, Colorado.  IMBA World Smit, here I come!

You may also recall that yesterday marked the start of the NYPD's "Operation Safe Cycle" crackdown, so my heart skipped a beat as I passed one of New York's Finest:

Fortunately, I was not tackled and arrested for the technically-not-a-crime-though-it-probably-should-be act of cycling in open-toed footwear.

I like to think that the police in this corner of the city aren't too concerned with ticketing cyclists owing to the complete absence of irritating crooked-Bern-helment-and-Linus-bike transplants, though I'm sure it's only a matter of time before they prove me wrong and nab me for something.

Pending that, having survived both the terrain and my harrowing encounter with the police, I locked the bike up and embarked upon my first errand:

As for the nature of that errand, that's for me to know and you to find out, but let's just say I was buying either a sitz bath or a gift for a child's birthday party.

I always take a parting glance at a bicycle before walking away from it, because you never know when you might be looking at it for the last time:

Notice how the sweat stain on my shirt is mostly concentrated on the left side, revealing exactly the angle at which I was leaning while I was installing the front rack.


Moments later, I emerged with either a sitz bath or a child's toy (not telling which) and was pleased to find that the State was still there:

So I placed the sitz bath or child's toy in the rack:

And set out to perform Test #2, which would be the purchase and insertion of a beverage into the rack's cupholder.

In order to obtain that beverage, I headed towards the other retail strip in the neighborhood.  The two retail strips around these parts have distinct personalities.  One is dominated by pizza, frozen yogurt, and real estate brokers, whereas the other is mostly pizza, frozen yogurt, and real estate brokers:

Here I am walking away from the locked bicycle and towards a popular coffee-flavored beverage chain:

Sweet fancy Jesus, please tell me that dark spot is not ass sweat.


Also, notice how effortlessly I blend into the surroundings as I retreat into the background, almost like I'm just a normal person with a sweating problem and not the World's Greatest Bike Blogger:

In fact, I'm so good at camouflage that people usually have no idea I'm the World's Greatest Bike Blogger, which is why they never stop me for autographs.  In fact, not only do they rarely bother me, but they also show me an extra degree of respect by giving me a wide berth at all times--though I suppose the ass sweat could be a factor.

Meanwhile, as I waited for my iced Mucka Fappuccino®‎, the State waited patiently for me.  I should also point out that, while the Fly6 is "rolling," it displays a mesmerizing red light not unlike that on the hood of KITT, the car from the "Knight Rider" TV show.  Therefore, I'm fairly sure that after sitting down this family began to suspect they were under some kind of surveillance, which is why they all turn to it at exactly the same time and look extremely nonplussed:

For that very reason I felt it was only fair to blur their faces, but I assure you they look almost as irritated as if I'd actually been there.

Eventually the coffee professionals at the popular coffee-flavored beverage chain finished fabricating my popular coffee-flavored beverage, and you'll be pleased to know that the size they refer to as a "Tall" fits in the cupholder nicely:

If that metal ring were just a few millimeters lower it would force the lid off the cup and "coffee" would spill everywhere.

Clearly someone at State is doing their homework.

So now, if you're keeping track, I've got a lock, a sitz bath or child's toy, and a Tall Muckafuckaccino®‎ in the rack:

Which is why you should always keep a bungee cord or cargo net on your bike at all times.

Next, I hopped back on the bike and towards home:

With regard to the above image, please note that in addition to the comically disgusting be-flip-flopped Monty Python title-squashing foot:

It also reveals a reflection of me awkwardly straddling the bike in the window of the "coffee" place:

In other words, I'm a rolling shitshow from every angle.

Then, some more hills:

And I'm pleased to announce that the beverage made it home with but a few drops spilled:

As for the bike itself, the "shakedown ride" revealed only two issues.  One was that in my haste I forgot to tighten the seatpost clamp all the way, and so as I rode around I began to realize I was slowly sinking.  In fact, I probably would have sunk even faster if the Fly6 hadn't been acting as sort of an "emergency wedge:"

So I snugged it back up, which of course resulted in even more profuse sweating:

The other thing I noticed as I used my massive power to stomp my way up all those formidable hills is that there's a small amount of play in the bottom bracket so at some point maybe I'll get around to investigating.

Or, more likely, I'll completely ignore it.

Other than that, the bike is a pleasure to ride (assuming either you live somewhere flattish or you're a world-class singlespeeder like me):

And not so bad to look at as well:

Which would make it an ideal "townie" for you, and exactly the sort of bike you'd expect to find in the lender fleet at a trendy boutique hotel.

Really, the only thing that reminds you you're riding a mail order bike are the plasticky saddle and grips:

So if you really wanted to class the bike up you could replace them with actual leather one day and be wanting for little else:

Though there'd be no pressing reason to do so, because the saddle is reasonably comfortable, the grips are rubbery but fine, and if the bike's going to spend a lot of time outside you don't need to worry about any of it getting wet.

The only thing I would replace right away is the bell:

Now I may be missing something, but as far as I can tell this bell simply does not work.  Like, you flick the clapper and it just lands with a dull "thunk."

I'll ask State about it and let you know what I find out.

So there you go.  In the meantime, I'm looking forward to subjecting this bicycle to proper "Cat 6" testing, and I'm sure you'll agree I earned that sickly-sweet beverage:

("Eeew, Starbucks!"  The coffee Freds are totally plotzing right now.)

And with that, I choked out the Fly6:

And then there was nothing.


JB said...


Anonymous said...

lead out?

dnk said...

podium 2 days in a row?

Spokey said...


early bird today

lucky I got up early

at least top 10ish

3G said...

Missed the early break. Top 5

Spokey said...

hey doesn't snobbie claim to drive a hyundai that he owns? so who owns the mazda in the fl6 mounting pic?

I smells a rat

chunkylover said...

What an excellent spokesman you are...

BikeSnobNYC said...


Incredibly, some of the cars parked near my home do not belong to me.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

PS: I do not own a Hyundai.

dnk said...

Just read the post, nice review WCRM. And congrats on only spilling a few drops of iced coffee on the way home....

David G said...

That first Fly6 pic is surely the "Mr. Watson, come here I want to see you" of our time. Brought to you by Mazda.

dnk said...

I think Snob owns a wood-paneled Wagon Queen Family Truckster.

tobeistobex said...

So how different is it from a Linus?

Flyover BC said...

Looks like an early sprint today

BikeSnobNYC said...


I don't know, I have never ridden a Linus. Going by their website it seems fairly similar to the Linus Roadster, though the State comes with fenders and racks for close to the same price.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

BikeSnobNYC said...


Sorry, the "Roadster Classic."

--Wildcat Rock Machine

CommieCanuck said...

The bell dome is too tight, loosen it a little. I used to be a UCI pro bell wrench.

Anonymous said...

With regards to the bell - you may have installed the spring striker incorrectly. Had a similar VO brass bell that didn't ring so much as "thunk" until I flipped the striker around

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 11:15am,

Interesting. It was already on the bar so I didn't examine it very closely. I am lazy!

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Anonymous said...

That was great.
I love the Fly6 travelogues.

Flyover BC said...

Be sure and take the fly6 with you to call-oh-rad-oh. A go-pro would be great too so we can see your mad BMX-downhill-skilz in action.

JB said...

-My mother: "Mrs. Green's cousin lost a toe riding a bike without proper shoes. Put on real shoes!"
-welds on that front rack look wonky; replace with Eriksen Ti rack
-rear rack looks off-center; replace with Eriksen Ti rack
-I saw the Band-Aid; Don't let it get infected with your disgusting sweat.

BikeSnobNYC said...


I'm right on it. Wouldn't want the rack to fail catastrophically if I upgrade to the Venti drink!

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Serial Retrogrouch said...

...up nose shot!

David G said...

That two-story building was a bookstore when I was growing up. This city used to be crawling with bookstores, blech. Good riddance!

Anonymous said...

Toppus XX !!

"fredhandle" = hilarious

JB said...

The height on those Venti drinks will create a much higher moment force (i.e., twist) on the rack.

Bryan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Bryan said...

No rush to the finish line today. When you go out on a bikecycling adventure, it is best to enjoy the subsequent post and pictures like a fine wine.
That little cup holder is nifty. In fact, the whole bike is pretty cool. Makes me wish I had one. Maybe once I pay off my crabon Fredly Steed, I'll look into State.

Spokey said...

now that I actually read the post . . .

really? you let cars that you don't own park near your house? what is the world coming to?

that cup holder needs a hinge or be removable or something so you can use the whole rack.

i was disappointed that there no pictures of the mighty hills you climbed.

BamaPhred said...

Dang, early posticulating. Must be the cabin fever from the monsoon the NE experienced lately.

Great review. Makes me want to get one, but I could never handle the single speed with these rubbery legs.

I, for one, welcome back the Fly6 travelogues.

Spokey said...


salute to the return of the fly6

Dave said...

Nine out of ten auteurs prefer to read Bike Snob NYC as they drink their sickly sweet coffee-flavored beverages and work on their screenplays. His framing of scenes is exquisite. And there's also that gritty, sweaty realism.

Anonymous said...

dammit snob, you bought a hipster cruiser, now put the bottle opener on it that was provided and take the abuse anyone with a bike like that deserves.

Bryan said...

@anon 11:57 - it is only hipster if it doesn't have a freehub, or at the very least a flip flop hub and no brakes.

Anonymous said...

NYPD is cracking down on bicyclists with single speed bicycles with semi-permanent bottle openers attached.

JLRB said...

Yes - the return of the Fly-6 is most welcome!

I like the looks of the State - not thrilled with their limited options of bars - not a big fan of the ones on the Saturday - too Wicked Witch of the West for me. And the only other option appears to be the silly track bike things. But it does have the basics down - fenders, racks - assuming, of course, that all components are drilled out Ti to save weight. Of course.

Anonymous said...

Oh, I know I'm not exactly a "world traveler," but I had to google "sitz bath" [and now I have to purge that Wiki article from my memory].

That State looks neat, but I couldn't abide a single speed...

Bryan said...

Actually, I just saw a Linus Roadster Sport on ye olde Craigslist USED for more than the State Street bike...and it does not come with a front rack.

Spokey said...


what are you talking about?

If there is one thing NY has is a wide selection of bars.

JB said...

Looking at the State webbing site, they have the cup holder ring installed the rear left, instead of the front right, like yours. Just FYI, as I don't want you warranty to be null and/or void.

CommieCanuck said...

The height on those Venti drinks will create a much higher moment force (i.e., twist) on the rack.

That's why you need a crabon rack, but only douches drink Venti's anyway.

BTW, Starbucks makes no fucking sense, you name a size "venti" which is Italian for 20, referring to 20 ounces, but no one in Italy measures anything in fucking stupid ounces or hogsheads or whatever you guys use. It makes me angry enough to spill 3.5 beavers of maple syrup.

Drock said...

Here at "the Paris of the plains" I just returned from a bike shop with no rack for bike parking and the shop owner drives a Prius, and lives three miles away. Rest assured there is a place where bicycles are still looked upon as toys for that once a season trail ride. Down the middle purple hair and get that dog on a shorter leash.

UberFred said...

The Rocky Mountain Duder prefers a pre-war skiptooth for his townie. You'll be surprised how many of them and hi-end full-squish 29ers you'll see unlocked outside while the duders enjoy a craft beer and artisanal pizza.

RackSnob said...

JB said... "they have the cup holder ring installed the rear left, instead of the front right, like yours"

Yep. Better grab a 64 oz (just over 3 x Venti ounces) Gatorade before you attempt to install the front rack the right way 'round.

Anonymous said...

Snobs was a' sweatin like a whore on cowboy payday.

Flyover BC said...

And venti's are 24 ounces rather than 20s.

One LBS owner sells States and rides a fixie w/o brakes. The finish on the bike looks pretty nice, at 30 mph. I guess business isn't good enough for him to ride an Orbea, which he also sells.

Bryan said...

@Drock - our shop doesn't have a bike rack either, but we assume if anyone does happen to roll up on a bike that they will bring it inside with them.
The president of the university I went to lived MAYBE a block from her office and drove there every day. 'Muricans love their cars, apparently.
I live 5 miles from my shop/occasional place of employment and 9/10 times I'll drive there - there is no good way to get there from my house during high traffic times. Early mornings are fine to ride, or mid day during a work day, but afternoons/evenings? Rolling the dice there. Which is a shame.

Comment deleted said...

My guess for what's in the mystery bundle: an enormous godemiché.

McFly said...

That's a pretty swanky coffee drinkin' garden. All nuts are crucial.

Spokey said...

obviously the rack can be mounted in a variety of ways.

snobbie obviously drew upon his vast artistic talents and mounted his rack for this place in time and history.

it's called poetic licence.

Anonymous said...

I hope to God that dark spot IS ass sweat. What's the other option?

Spokey said...

wow took the semi-century and didn't even notice

pee wee said...

the other options include snobs was so excited by the state that he peed in his pants

Orestes Munn said...

Just the kind of bike I wish everyone else would ride.

crosspalms said...

I like that bike. And thanks for taking us along on the ride, that was fun. I have a similar bell, and have had the same problem if the striker is in the wrong spot. I'd swivel yours around counterclockwise to about 7 o'clock so my thumb could reach it more easily if it were on my bike, which it isn't, and were my bell, which it also isn't, and if this kind of talk didn't sound a little too CJ like, which it does.

trama said...

sweet sweat bike. A front brake would really make it safer. I like racks. I made a rack for my dad once, a silver soldered stainless tubular time pit:


trama said...

ah dang I'm a bad typpity type blog commenter linkway to time pit rack fool:

Bryan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Nice tats there wildcat, do you do those yourself. Just kidding, they are not actually nice but at least they are permanent.

trama said...

time pit rack

Anonymous said...

Are all of your sweat glands concentrated in neck and left shoulder? oh, and ass. nice bike though. I considered a State to replace my old commuter but decided against it as I wanted an aluminum frame and the state bikes with aluminum frames are pretty heinous. who cares you ask. Me. I hope you enjoyed your Starbucks, sellout.

JB said...

Purty bike there, trama.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 12:45pm,

They is what they is. People always say you'll regret them but as I get older I'm coming to realize that, given all the nasty stuff that happens to your body, they're by far the least of your worries.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Mark said...

Snob, I think you would identify with the protagonist in The Book of Liz by Amy and David Sedaris. She’s a profusely-perspiring, cheeseball-making, johnnycake-serving rebel runaway.

Henry said...

so you really are an SUV owner, very stealthy of you except you put it on the interweb.

Blog Drafter said...

Thanks for the ride-along.

whatwhat said...

I think it's the combination of cargo shorts and flip flops and sweat that seals the deal. might as well get "asshole" tattooed over "nobrakes" across your knuckles.

Orestes Munn said...

The concern about regretting tattoos in old age may be overblown:

JLRB said...

So the non-plussed family gets pixlated so we can't see their faces. Unless you look at the picture of the ride away, a few frames later. Not sure if the mom is plussed or nonplussed.

RoadQueen said...

I'm glad that the front rack mounting variations topic was brought up.

I feel like most people don't have the imagination level required to mount the front rack in any other position than what is popularly recommended.

Takes a free thinker to do it different.


Flyover BC said...

Went back to look at Ms. non-plussed, in the mounting the bike photo. I think she's checking out your scranus, or butt sweat.
Must be hard up for entertainment in the big city burbs.

BikeSnobNYC said...


I know, right? Sweating on a hot summmer day. What an asshole!

--Wildcat Rock Machine

JB said...

Kinda wondering why the bike has a threaded headset/fork. Cheaper?

How will I install my crabon stem?

Anonymous said...

I can't find the garden gnome in your lovely outdoor space.
I'm okay with the tattoos, btw. Got a few myself from the old days.

Phuj said...

If that metal ring were just a few millimeters lower it would force the lid off the cup and "coffee" would spill everywhere.

I think you mean a few millimeters higher for that ring. If the cup were shorter and the lid lower, then yeah, you'd have lid problems.

You were probably looking at it leaned over and upside-down so the sweat wouldn't drip onto your beverage. I suffer from a similar excess perspiration problem.

CommieCanuck said...

I think I found the computing/IT nerd picture that is better than bishortsguy.

BamaPhred said...

Time to name the jorts scene framing "scranus vision", maybe it already has and I just forgot.

I just knew I would spot Bib Shorts Guy or Recumbabe lurking in the background, but all I found was BIK SNB on a license plate and a traumatized family.

Work, just KMN, overwhelmed and bored to tears at the same time. FLY6 take me away.

Comment deleted said...

Sure, Commie, go ahead and assume he's in misnerdist pig.

Anonymous said...

Sadly this was the highlight of my workday.

David Pearce said...

Dear WCRM,

The bike looks nice. I totally agree with you about the need for a front brake.

I must say, I am deeply disappointed with your fashion choice as to bike lock--PINK? Ugh! Man! What up wid you? I'd leave my bike unlocked before I would lock it with a pink lock. Man, right in the garbage! It's not worthy of anybody, girl, boy, woman, man. God I hate the pink and purple-ization and princess-zation of the girls' toy aisles.

As for the flip-flops, I'm trying to be openminded, despite the fact that I am a completely repressed, rule following jerk.

I really thought Mark Zuckerberg was a "pretentious hipster douchebag", running around in the snow in his flip-flops. But maybe, was he on to something?

I certainly won't wear flip-flops in the winter, but what about the warmer months? Being the repressed rule-follower and stubborn old cuss I am, I have always, ALWAYS, worn shoes, and that means socks too, of course. Mainly I wear shoes because I can walk faster, and I pretty much need the Super Feet arch supports too.

But sooner or later, my ultra-accurate nose detects the sweaty stench of dirty socks. Is this something we just have to live with, if we choose to wear shoes? Was Zuckerberg and all the other guys who wear flip-flops right? Is there less enclosed sweaty stench with flip-flops than with shoes and socks?

I don't know--something about guys wearing flip-flops I can't get my head around. I'm just stubborn (and pedantic), I guess.

McFly said...

Any good rack loading invloves a little spillage.

Anonymous said...

A "Bicycle Review"?? Rillly?
What is this Lovely Bicycle?
(Just kidding, that girl has Moxie!)
That State makes me want to bolt up the old Wald paperboy delivery basket to my 56 Schwinn Corvette, or at least take out my '65 Raleigh Sports for a ride... with retrogrouchy lugged frame construction and 10 extra pounds for the All Steel Bicycle feel.
Perhaps the Linuses (Linii?) are made in the same sweatshop as the State?
Maybe you can get yer hands on a tricked out Shinola.

Regardless, the World Class Bike Blogger assembled / now curated State looks nice.

Bells -
The best tones come from BRASS, "Laiton" if you want to search French eBay for the perfect blend of douche and non-plussed smugness.

My favorite is the Ventura Tire bell, trigger activated analog old phone ring sound.


RoadQueen said...

whoa Whoa WHOA there, David!

Some of us love pink. It's my favorite color. You don't have to like it, and it's ok to swing that way. But common now.

(We're all pink, in the middle.)


BamaPhred said...

Flyover, I had to go back and look.
Ms Tank Top is totally checking out Mr. Snob.

BikeSnobNYC said...

David Pearce,

You're way overthinking the flip-flops.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

bicyclerepairman said...

Dear Mr. Wildcat Rock Machine,

Thank you for demonstrating why you should at least pay the $50 for a mechanic to build your mail order bike. Or use that money to buy a bb wrench and a spanner.

BikeSnobNYC said...


Because you're afraid to break a sweat?

--Wildcat Rock Machine

The King of Park Slope said...

Why would the cup ring knock off the cup lid if the ring were lower?

Anonymous said...

Recently there is an annoying squeaking sound when I stand on the pedals of my bike. Any ideas? Bottom bracket issues? loose cranks? thanks

David Pearce said...

Dear WCRM,

Looks to me like you did a whole lot better with the fender line than State did with their photo of the "Saturday Morning" or whatever it's called (I know there's a Saturday in the name).

I'm no pedant (actually I am), but I think the fender just works better following the curve of the wheel, and it looks like you followed that idea in your build.

Why in the State's photo of this bike do both the front and rear fenders shove away from the rear of the tire in such an egregious way? And the fender stays in their photo are looped at the dropout end, so you can't adjust them. How'd you achieve better results? Or was the State photo an early one that showed design snags that needing tweaking?

As for the temple bell, and its thunking, it could be, possibly, that it is getting "grounded" by the handlebar grip. Or, on the other hand, the clapper on these ones usually are not symmetrical: they attach to the center bolt in either "right" or "left" handed fashion. Maybe the ring is grounding out because the clapper is installed upside-down. Anyway, with thoughtful arrangement of the teeny tiny flat washer, and attention to the up or down-ness of the clapper, one can usually get it to ring.

Also, as long as I'm giving longwinded, gratuitous and unsolicited advice, might as well go for broke. Seems to me you want the clapper to be nearer the grip for easy thumbing!

But I am interested if you want to comment on the fenders.

JB said...

Anon @ 2:53pm: Yes. Tighten your drive-side crank bolt by 1/4 turn. That'll take care of it.

paulb said...

Everything about your new bike, thumbs way up, except, for a townie I like an open frame. But State doesn't offer one.

paulb said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
P. Bateman said...

people who shun flip flops when its half a billion degrees out are just goofy.

not sure i'm sold on that bike. its nice looking enough but those bars do give something of a girly look.

good thing you have that beard.

crosspalms said...

anon 2:53

crosspalms said...

I think I hear Spokey picking up steam...

Anonymous said...

Trying to spread the word about this happening in Toronto. A 18 Billion dollar company is cutting bike locks and stealing from cyclists who park their bikes in front of their building. Oh the injustice

Anonymous said...

Snob, I think a Jayson Werth garden gnome would look good in your garden area.

David Pearce said...

Dear Road Queen,

I think your blog looks fine! No offense taken, j'espère!

Very nice colors, topics. (Looks like your horse gets a little grumpy waiting for you!) 😎

I mainly just hate the plastic and the fake looking colors of a lot of toys these days.

Orestes Munn said...

I had crank mice when I was a cat IV, so I was too slow to catch them.

The only white guys under 60 who don't wear flip flops in the summer these days are the ankle-socks-and-new-running-shoes, hypertensive, crypto-redneck crowd.

Anonymous said...

Pretty funny, Fred of the sea and congrats on your century win.

Orestes Munn said...

Why shucks, I didn't even hear the bell. Must be a weak field today.

McFly said...

Upon closer inspection I am not so sure that is ass sweat. It is Shart Week.

BamaPhred said...

I completely missed the century.

I graduated last in my class from Bard. What is a crypto-redneck?

If you could only see my footwear.

And it's not flip flops.

Orestes Munn said...

Crypto-redneck: A basically decent, sensitive, overweight, white-collar, R-voting, guy from the outer suburbs whose rage is so deeply suppressed, he doesn't even threaten bicyclists on the roads. Shaved off his mustache in 1998. Probably between marriages.

Spokey said...


nah. I was toolin' around looking for PotbellyJoe. But he must have been in the ice cream store and I went through town on a different street.

Guess I got to get out earlier and get back for the sprints.

any way congrats to fred

Spokey said...

i use shimano sandals. Because most of the shoe is open, they are one of the few shoes that fit my gun boats. And it takes the largest size at that.

Freddy Murcks said...

Wow. Already 90+ comments and not a single mention of the relative merits of french press vs. pour over. The coffee freds must not have been as plotzed as you imagined, Snob.

Just so you know, I prefer neither. In spite of the fact that knuckle-tattooed 20-somethings insist that I shouldn't, I rather enjoy the espresso-based beverages.


Orestes Munn said...

Shart week! That's going to crack me up for days. Thanks, McFly.

I promise the century thing was a fluke.

David Pearce said...

Dear WCRM,

Going back to your build of the Saturday Deluxe from the other day, boy that Courtland Milloy really is an unmitigated ass and unrepentant jerk. He is so stupid! Jerk!

Meanwhile, interesting to see that State changed the position of the cupholder between the time their photograph was taken to the time you got your model, from the back of the rack to the front. Probably better there, taller, able to handle larger Venti size cups, or at least Grande!

I see that even you couldn't stand to attach the bottle-opener to the seat tube, or was it lost in transit as well as unknown assorted fasteners? And don't you think that if they include a beer-bottle-opener, they must by rights include a beer-bottle-holder as well?

It must be so!

crosspalms said...

True coffee freds are only happy poring over Le Monde in a Paris cafe.

BamaPhred said...

Thanks for the definition. I need
to get out more. I don't do ankle socks. I wear the more dorktastical crew socks, and my running shoes are running in name only. The sole is beginning to separate from the upper, so they are beginning to fit just right. Kinda leaky though.

I was going to say the sole was beginning to separate from the body, but I didn't want to go all Rapture on anyone.

Flyover BC said...

Fred of the Sea has apparently discovered my identity as a crypto-redneck.

When I listen to bluegrass, I'm getting in touch with my inner hillbilly.

No rage, though.

Flyover BC said...

Ditto on the crew socks and running shoes. To tall to be velominati approved to short for boots.

Wille Nelson was the trend setter for rednecks and cosmic cowboys alike.

Orestes Munn said...

I am full of unsuppressed "yekke" rage and listen to bluegrass sometimes, but I'm skinny and I do wear flip-flops.

David Pearce said...

Also, how did a Scream mask get inside the State Factory?

JLRB said...

Flip Flops are good. No wait, flip flops are bad. Or was that waffles.

Flyover BC said...

to tall and to short
are crypto-redneck for too tall and too short.

Used to wear tevas a lot. There are way too many cacti, stickers, and things that bite and sting for them now. I'd probably stub my toe too, or my two toes..

David Pearce said...

I still can't get that goddam a link right!

Robot proofing: "nootac and"; Confidence: 25%

Your HTML cannot be accepted: Tag is not closed: A

Robot proofing now: "tizake and"; Confidence 15%

David Pearce said...

Cross palms at 4:20,

Oh, brother! "Poring over". Ha-ha ha-ha ha-ha ha!


Robot get-away-from-me: "Depeneri colony"; Confidence: 50%

RoadQueen said...

David - Neigh! He does not have to wait on me, but we have to wait on my fellow equestrian compatriots constantly. :) (We both get a little cranky in doing so.

And - thank you!

BamaPhred said...

Oh, I get it now. Using crypto in front of something modifies it to mean "hidden". Crypto_redneck, ergo your hidden redneck. Easier to say than gettin' all uppity an' fergettin' where you came frum.

I was so hoping it was Krypto-Redneck, Superman's all powerful, but unknown, hillbilly sidekick.

Orestes Munn said...

Sea-freds tend to favor Keens. I have several pairs, but I don't wear them much on land.

Mr Plow said...

I am a true coffee Fred. Everyone is a Fred about something.

Orestes Munn said...

Shart week and crypto night, Bama.

Flyover BC said...

I'm pretty sure that krypto-redneck would be Superman's rural arch enemy.

And we crypto-rednecks haven't forgotten where we came from. It's just hard to convince others that we're still rednecks because we don't wear overhauls anymore, and butcher livestock in the yard (not that my neighbors don't).

And our country or small town cousins make fun of us if we wear sissy shoes, which is anything other than boots or running shoes.

Can't let them see me wearing lycra either, except when hunting elk or deer, because it's the perfect camouflage. The game think you're a benign, tree-hugging backpacker.

David Pearce said...

For the benefit of Mr. Plow,

And with apologies to Bob Dylan,

"Every barista gotta serve some Fred"

Anti-robot: "gistiru tack"; Confidence: 90%

Horace Mann said...

WCRM, am I hallucinating or did you shave your legs (again)?

David Pearce said...

Dear RoadQueen,

Love your dark horse, Guinness!


Anti-robot: "nanyxni the"; Confidence 15%

David Pearce said...

To Horace Mann,

I see your Horace Mann,

And I raise you a Thomas Mann


Anti-robot: "spoken ainotter"; Confidence 5%

BamaPhred said...

I have to disagree about Krypto.

Krypton is Superman's home planet.

Kryptonite (created when Krypton exploded) is the element that is deadly to Superman.

Krypto is Superman's dog.

I just made up the part about Krypto Redneck, the all powerful hillbilly sidekick. He went undercover as Li'l Abner.

babble on said...

I know this guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop anytime.

babble on said...

Yeah, Guiness is gorgeous. Specially in pink.

Dave said...

I would wear flip-flops if, having nothing better, I had to run over a bed of hot coals to escape from a band of enraged crypto-redneck bike haters from whom I had just stolen a giant ruby out of the forehead of their temple god. But under no other circumstances.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Nice rack!

Glad you got the seatpost camera going again. By the way, as others have pointed out the estate gardens are looking stunning this summer. Well done sir!

You may have noticed my late posting to the comments or absence all together this week. The reason is I have been on vacation this week from my "day job" I've been busy riding my bieks, digging old telegraph insulators from fields and shooting guns. Taking it easy.

Yesterday I almost made an offer on a skiptooth 1951 Western Flyer Super Deluxe. Kinda like an original old-timey version of that new Saturday of yours. I even started typing a message to the seller before I came to my senses and realized I'm way to lazy to take on a bicycle restoration. I need to do like you and just buy the Saturday.

Well I'd like to stick around and whoop it up with yall but I got to go clean my rifle in my flip flops.

Flyover BC said...

I stand corrected on Krypto-redneck.

My uncle, however, was the prototype for Lil' Abner, once he got rid of the crew-cut that is.

Either that, or he bore a striking resemblance to Jethro Bodin. Except I don't remember Jethro wearing overalls with no shirt.

We must be boring the big-city folk with our quaint talk about times past.

David Pearce said...

Dear recumbent conspiracy theorist,

I am going to have to check out your blog more! It looks great!


Anti-robot: "ing asseDi"; Confidence: 75% ?

Anonymous said...

Turtles. Do you like them?

Spokey said...


depends on what type

green kryptonite is deadly

red kryptonite makes him nutty

not sure what the blue or gold(?) variants effects are

Spokey said...

you bet your sweet ass i am

Spokey said...

oops thought you asked if i was a turtle

leroy said...

Note to self: no more going drinking with dog when he's doing one of his tattoo school take home exams.

Anonymous said...

We call flip-flops "thongs" around here and it's our national footwear. I think you have to admit our way is better.

I'm surprised you leave your fly camera thing on the bike when it's unattended. I detach lights and those little computer things and I would most assuredly pocket a camera if I had one.

The front rack looks pretty swish, but it does look heavy.

Commenters who are probably more learn'd than I in the discipline of bicycle bells have already proffered theories regarding the thunking bell, but you might want to check that the body of the bell isn't making contact with the grips...

Finally, good idea replacing grips and saddle. I tend to replace every contact point on every bike including pedals. You didn't report on the state of the State's pedals, but I'd be thinking about them as well. Although, if they work well with thongs, they'll probably be fine when wearing less evocative shoes.

leroy said...

As long as we're talking about the correct usage of Krypto and crypto, my dog reminds me that the classic crypto exchange occurred during the 68 democratic convention when Gore Vidal called William Buckley a pro crypto nazi to which Mr. Buckley responded by calling Mr. Vidal a god damned queer whom he would sock in the face.

Good times.

In the 60s, Mr. Buckley ran for mayor of New York with a traffic decongestion proposal that included a tax on cars entering midtown and the installation of bike lanes.

Didn't win.

Someone obviously had a pocket full of kryptonite.

BamaPhred said...

Flyover, et al, All true. Wait till we get on Pogo. Back to scranus and critiquing the Saturday Deluxe. Or chance of a Friday Fun Quiz.

Anonymous said...


Spokey said...

sometimes i spin

does that mean i need a doctor?

robot says it is a Mental nlcsoto

Anonymous said...

Good thing those Riverdale punks didn't steal it.

babble on said...

Nah. A spin a day keeps the doctor away.

Oh! Oh oh oh oh oh!

How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it.

Spokey said...

irish you hadn't hit your head in that crash

robot hopes you aaheal and get better

Roger said...

Such a sweat bike

couple it with an electric. you (and with you I mean someone else) can run forever

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Thanks David Pearce! Please do.

traf mcgee said...

fueled by shart

babble on said...

So a dyslexic man walks into a bra
and says "Im reading a book on anti-gravity. I can't put it down."

babble on said...

LOL! Right? OMG Spokey. Me, too.

Wait! I can feel another one coming on. Oh help.

That girl said she met me at the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

And what happens when chemists die? They barium.

Must. Stop.

Dooth said...

Those Riverdsle punks are members of the notoriously violent Johnson Avenue Posse. They're specially angered by a less than frothy macchiato.

Co-Star Brake said...

Where do you store all your bikes? Do the little snobs have to sleep amongst them in the child/bike grotto between shifts at the iphone factory?

BamaPhred said...

Speaking of rejection, even my yo-yo won't come back.

Every time I hitch hike, I get beat up. Must be using the wrong finger.

Rodney Dangerfield, I hope you are doing great, wherever you are.

Orestes Munn said...

Ah, Rodney.

"I locked my keys in the car. It took my two hours to get my wife and kids out."

Deadpan said...

Beat Zombie: "I live in the cemetery. Can you dig it"?

Rodney said...

I wanted a drink so I asked the bartender to surprise me. He showed me a nekkid picture of my wife.

Anonymous said...

Trash Day!?!

You runnin' a sweatshop mf?

ChamoisJuice said...

I like the townie, but $500?! Nashbar has such a deal for you at twice the price bike for $200 called the gran royale aristocrat. No racks, but it does have a nexus 3 SPd hub and threadless fork.

Anonymous said...

Shaved legs +

Band-Aid on arm to cover up blood transfusion?

WRCM making a comeback?!?

Tal F said...

I realize I'm fairly late to the game, here, so my comment will inevitably get lost, but I just want to say I'm loving the fly6 videos in and around Riverdale. It even makes me miss Riverdale a bit, as my family and I moved out of there last year, though I will say that easy access to both the Hudson River Greenway and Central Park from our new apartment on the UWS more than makes up for it.

One shot you took is almost exactly like a shot I took just a few parking spots away.

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