This Just In: It's The Holidays And I'll Recess If I Want To!

So how about that Apocalypse?  Sure, it wasn't total devastation like some were predicting, but nevertheless it was a real inconvenience.  At the very least, I'm going to have to go out and buy new underpants.

Speaking of underpants, that's something you sometimes find under the Christmas tree (either as a gift, or else crumpled up in a heap if you over-nogged it on Christmas Eve), and with the holidays upon us please note that after today's post I will be on a peanut-butter-and-chocolately-delicious Holiday Reese's until Wednesday, January 2nd, 2013, at which point I will return with regular updates.  Until that time, you can bask in the virtual warmth of this holiday yule log:



Or, if you're a Wisconsin drunk, you can gather around the burning Obama instead:


Whatever your party affiliation, that's just disturbing.

In any case, I'll also point out that I had hoped to bore you with a longer end-of-the-year blogular posting, but believe it or not I am a parent (parenting is like riding a bike in that they'll let pretty much any idiot do it), and as it happens I have to strap on my daddy helment this morning and take care of some important parental business.  Nevertheless, I will take the time to direct your attention to this article and video about Jerry Seinfeld:

Not only is it interesting, but it also turns out he rides a Pinarello road bike around the city:

A sleek Pinarello racing bicycle, which Seinfeld rides around town, stood against a wall. “It’s very addictive, that feeling of gliding through the city,” he said.

I had no idea he was a closet Fred, but I guess it goes with the Porsche fixation.

Also, here's video of Jerry Seinfeld "getting rad" on that very Pinarello:



Just kidding.  That wasn't really Jerry Seinfeld.  Also, I bet you never, ever saw that video before, nor are you completely tired of it.  I know I'm not.

Lastly, before we all vanish into our own personal psychedelic tinsel-tastic holiday nightmares, I'll once again remind you that if you're looking for last minute gifts for people you don't like that much you should a) Buy My Books; and b) Patronize Our Sponsors, as seen in the right-hand margin.  For example, not only are Knog lights useful for your bike, but they're also great as beacons so that make-believe planes don't accidentally fly into your make-believe George Washington Bridge:

Yes, that's the George Washington Bridge, because the East River crossings are sooo last decade.  Plus, Knog lights are waterproof so they make great tub toys.  By the way, if you think it's my kid who's playing with Knog lights then you're mistaken.  The block architecture and the tub play is all me, and he knows if he gets anywhere near my toys I'll take away his box cutter.

And with that, I turn you over to the holidays and all the joy, depression, and general ennui that comes with them.  Hopefully you only experience the joy part.  Once again, please excuse my hasty departure, and I look forward to returning on Wednesday, January 3rd, 2013 (holy crap, it's the future!) with regular updates.  (Or even earlier, which is highly unlikely, but not impossible.)

Most of all, thank you very much for reading this crap every day, it makes me very happy to type it.