(How many times do I have to tell them?!? It's Wildcat Rock Machine, dammit!)
Owing to my imminent departure for Seattle, I can only offer this brief note in lieu of a proper blogging post. Thank you very much to 21st Avenue Bicycles for hosting my pre-BRA ride in Portland yesterday evening, and to Powell's for hosting the BRA itself. Thank you also to Portland for cutting a beautiful, sunny day short and finally raining on me.
If you're in Seattle, I hope to see you later today at the following places and times:
Wednesday, April 11
5:30 ride
20/20 Cycle
2020 East Union Street
Seattle, WA 98122
(206) 568-3090
7:00pm talk and booksigning
Elliott Bay Book Company
1521 Tenth Avenue
Seattle, WA 98122
(206) 624-6600
Thanks very much for your indulgence, and I will furnish you with a regular update as time and smugness allows.
--Wildcat Rock Machine
130 comments:
Podium.
SMUG
Third?
Them's early doors!
MY KINGDOM FOR A DECENT LEADOUT!(no one would work today, too early)
Huh, what?
Freakin' Julia Alvarez? Seriously? She is like the Miles Davis of Book Signing. Luckeeeeeeeeeeeee
Top tenning?
ZOOOTS
Oh and 9thing!
Fooken ten tooooooooooooo!
There's a street in Portland called Lovejoy.
WEDNESDAY WEEDINGZ!
I'm Pijlin' too!
Portland is heaven, learn to love it
ERLY POST
15! Top 20! Wooo!
Wow, early post! I thought you were on the west coast? Isn't 10 AM Eastern like 6 AM there?
Seattle? Wasn't there a Perry Como song about Seattle?
Why yes, I'm sure of it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Po0YzxrEblg
My dog says this is proof that drugs don't make us more creative.
Zzzz... Huh?
Zzzz... Huh?
great tags today.
Yaaawn what when?
I got nothing, where's my instant coffee powder?
Scranus!
oh, and wednesday WeedPanties
A very famous poem:
Under the wide and starry sky,
Dig the grave and let me lie.
Glad did I live and gladly die,
And I laid me down with a will.
This be the verse you grave for me:
Here he lies where he longed to be;
Home is the sailor, home from sea,
And the hunter home from the hill.
If this were to be written today on this blogs comments page, it would read:
Eat me, Scranus Panties.
Doing kids story time?
ANT THAT'S HOW THIS BILL THOUGHT TODAY WAS THURSDAY!
There's a well respected company named Lovejoy Couplings. They make couplers. I knew a guy who used to work for them
Really.
Anon 11:40,
That's beautifully poetic and almost moved me to tears, not the first part so much, but the second. I started to choke up and if you would have added a nice subtle "balls" it would have been game over kleenx time. Bitches.
I like Lovejoy Couplings much better than Beecher Tool and Die
BSNYc, check bikebutterfly.com. They need a product review from you.
efin weeed.
WEAK POST
TUFF WEED
alaslo, there is a wee town called Weed in Oregon...BRA surprise barnstorm?
Early! I was still reading yesterday's post. Pack fodder.
I'd invite you back to my place
It's only mine because it holds my suitcase
It looks home to me alright
But it's a hundred miles from yesterday night
Must I be the man in a suitcase
Is it me, the man with the stranger's face
Another key for my collection
For security I race for my connection
Bird in a flying cage you'll never get to know me well
The world's my oyster a hotel room's a prison cell
Must I be the man in a suitcase
Is it me, the man with the stranger's face
I'd invite you back to my place
It's only mine because it hold my suitcase
It looks like home to me alright
But it's a hundred miles from yesterday night
Don't forget to put food on the Hoppers table.
SOUL DOUT
On a long and lonesome highway
East of Omaha
You can listen to the engine
Moanin' out his one note song
You can think about the woman
Or the girl you knew the night before
But your thoughts will soon be wandering
The way they always do
When you're ridin' sixteen hours
And there's nothin' much to do
And you don't feel much like ridin',
You just wish the trip was through
Here I am
On the road again
There I am
Up on the stage
Here I go
Playin' star again
There I go
Turn the page
Well you walk into a restaurant,
Strung out from the road
And you feel the eyes upon you
As you're shakin' off the cold
You pretend it doesn't bother you
But you just want to explode
Most times you can't hear 'em talk,
Other times you can
All the same old cliches,
"Is that a woman or a man?"
And you always seem outnumbered,
You don't dare make a stand
Here I am
On the road again
There I am
Up on the stage
Here I go
Playin' star again
There I go
Turn the page
Out there in the spotlight
You're a million miles away
Every ounce of energy
You try to give away
As the sweat pours out your body
Like the music that you play
Later in the evening
As you lie awake in bed
With the echoes from the amplifiers
Ringin' in your head
You smoke the day's last cigarette,
Rememberin' what she said
Here I am
On the road again
There I am
Up on the stage
Here I go
Playin' star again
There I go
Turn the page
Here I am
On the road again
There I am
Up on the stage
Here I go
Playin' star again
There I go
Turn the page
There I go
There I go
As a proudly Unenlightened Cyclist, I will now go out and rudely anger as many peds, drivers, and fellow cyclists as possible.
Woe be to those who follow...
Just sayin'
mid pack half wack weddy nensday w33d
Oddly poetic comments page today. I like it, as it makes up for the terse WCRM prose.
SHRT POST
Panties!
Travel panties!
Lob you work in mysterious ways,
Today on my way to work, as usual, i stopped at all the red lights, yielded for pedestrians and generally comported myself in a way that I hope you would be proud of.
Yet, you mystify me. As as was slowing to stop just at the stop line between me and a crosswalk, a woman "pedestrianed" right into the road from in between two cars three feet in front of and in between me and the crosswalk.
I stopped for her in time - it really wasn't even that close. As she scurried past me (and into traffic) she snarled back at me "you're supposed to stop!!!".
Lob, I am confused. I was supposed to stop. I did stop. I had stopped. I was stopped. I some other conjugation of stopped. And yet I was scolded for doing exactly what I already had done WHILE MISS IDIOT COMPLETELY MISSED THE FUCKING CROSSWALK AND DARTED OUT LIKE A COMPLETE ASSHOLE WITH NO BRAIN!!!! And she yelled at me.
Lob, I pray for you to reveal your mysterious and vexing ways.
Ok... Time for penance. All Californinians don't make me puke in my mouth. Just artfucks, my in laws, Ronald Reagan, east coast expats, everyone in LA, and those dicks at the border with other Merican states who ask if you have any fruit.
Thanks for coming to Portland, Mr. Snob. Also, thanks for the AYHSMB clip on fender!
Almost Spinal Tap except they put you in the middle rather then under kids story time.
Lovejoy Couplings *smirk*
@DaddoOne,
On my lunchtime ride in Central Park a couple of little league teams were scurrying across the park road. As the 2nd team got to the edge of the road, the light turned green, and I courteously allowed them to cross before I proceeded.
Admittedly, I probably wouldn't have done that if there wasn't a cop in a police van 3 feet to my right waving them through.
As far as your vexing situation this morning, I think a simple "crosswalk is over there, bitch" would've sufficed.
finally fixed that flat, eh Frills?
DaddoOne --
Enlightenment is its own reward.
Railing about pig-ignorant dick-headedness in an appropriate forum is just a bonus.
Mikeweb --
So with the police presence in CP, is it safe to ride? I ask that in the same way that a character in Fahrenheit 451 would notice firemen and inquire if there were going to be a fire. In other words, have "we, as a society" lost interest in ticketing all cyclists in CP and moved on to the next big thing?
So I went bird watching today and wouldn't you know that as the weather turns nicer, through my binoculars I spotted a migrating Pteroclidiformes Frillius. This is the elusive St. Louis Sand Grouse more commonly known as "Frilly" for those of you not enamored with binomial nomenclature. I believe that this may be the first sighting since the autumn migration.
Anon 11:40:
Quote from a letter home to the fiance from the Civil War:
"My dearest, should I have the privilege of laying down my life for my beloved country during this great struggle, please remember me most fondly..."
Quote from a letter home to the fiance from Iraq:
"It is hot in the dessert. Hot, hot, hot. Don't fuck nobody while I'm gone, o.k.?"
@wiwm,
I too remember that species. Amazing plumage, if I recall correctly.
@leroy,
It does seem to be 'safe' these days. Perhaps 'we as a society' have decided that since the 'Bike and Roll'-ers also seem mostly oblivious to red lights, not to mention riding in a straight line, that ticketing non-local cyclists isn't a priority.
Sigh
Oh how I lament the days when the Pteroclidiformes Frillus would occasionally light upon the steps of the podium.
This is a hostile commenting environment in general and very hostile towards women in particular. Don't expect fruit to grow in barren ground, honchos.
...i've got it !!!...the answer to today's quiz is - 'seattle'...
...i almost said - portland 'cuz the picture of 'powells books' threw me for a loop but now, through clever deductive reasoning, i can safely say the answer is seattle...
I was a little too tall,
Lookin' like a true clown,
Tight pants, points, hollerin' out,
She was a dark haired beauty with Big Black Thighs, points of her own sayin' "Hey McFlyyyyyy"...
Jerkin' on the right boobs[Refrain]
Don't tell the director I said so,
But are you safe, Wildcat Rock Machine?
You were at a policy meeting,
They were planing "new" ways of cheating,
I didn't want to rock your boat,
...But you sent this dangerous note!
Is anybody alive in here?
Is anybody alive in here?
Is anybody at all in here?
ant 2nd!
must be the decline of the moon...I got yelled at while stopped at a red light for not being fast enough off the line...but the light was still red. I waved and smiled and drooled like an idjit. But always ready with the long u-lock.
...& yes, always great to see frilly back in the comments section, although with her st louis blues going up against my san jose sharks in the first round of the playoffs, there may be a few high sticks & some chirpy talk between the benches here at bsnyc/rtms/wcrm...
...just sayin'...
...speaking of chirpy talk, i heard since leroy's dog got a pair of those bluetooth 'bike speakers' he likes to play -
..."...With a knick-knack paddywhack,
Give the dog a bone,
This old man came rolling home." loudly, much to leroy's chagrin, when they come rollin' back into the neighborhood after a ride...
A not so famous poem but one that deserves wider exposure.
And it's connected to Anon@11:40s submission.
They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.
But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another’s throats.
Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don’t have any kids yourself.
Words to live by, mofos, words to live by...
@anon 1233,
good list. still, 1/8! amaizing.
Hi Andrew!
@ wiwm--very nice! I decided it was time to put the remote down & get my arse off the couch. And naturally my thoughts turned to my favorite band of miscreants!
@ Blog Drafter--Feel the love!
Go Blues!!!
@DaddoOne
THN SKN
I'll forgive the lack if italics for a fictitious scientific name, but capitalizing the species epithet? Let's Fred-out proper-like for a taxonomy based joke
blog drafter,
It does have a locker-room feel at times.
/towel-snap/
And at others it waxes poetic. (Or did some of us smoke or drink lunch and then start punching quarters into the jukebox?)
Anyway, nice to see Frilly here in spite of the way we usually behave.
wiwm,
I thought a binomial nomenclature was the house and the senate. Thanks for setting me straight. (And come to think of it, most of them are binomial menclatures anyway.)
Anon 3:26,
Apparantly Ronnie Montrose decided to get out on his own. I would have gladly given him my Raleigh Competition. He would have been 45 minutes away from a good mood.
...mcfly...yeah, sad about ronnie...he was quite a guitar player & when he was with van morrison years ago, he was the one who worked so hard on stage to bring van out of HIS dark moods...
...sad what a few problems, a bottle & a .38 can do to a man...
Montrose? Van Morrison? How fucking old are you guys?
Maybe the SleekSpeak should play wax cylinders.
WAXR OCKS
I am getting the feeling that we are close to a commenters' coup - I mean if WCRM only has time to give us a couple of paragraphs, and we can fill in with music, poetry, birdwatching, who needs him, eh? I mean, Alan Bennett and Peter Cook yesterday, Philip Larkin today, it makes me all dewy-eyed.
...ya know, commie canuck...sometimes you're a very funny guy & sometimes, like right now, you're a lame cunt...
...that's a fact...
@recumbent conspiracy theorist 12:13
There are no long and lonesome highways east of Omaha. You have to get west of Grand Island and off I80 before the roads get long and lonesome. Take it from one who knows.
Commie,
You jump on these guys for Montrose and Van Morrison? Where were you when Leroy brought up Perry the sweater Como? I used to watch his show with my grandmother! Which I guess tells you how fucking old I am...
...the vitriol i directed at cc has to do with the fact that his 'jokes' were rather untimely...
...we learned just today through the coroner's office that ronnie, who was both a perfectionist & did suffer from life long depression, put a .38 to his head whist having a huge amount of alcohol in his system & thus took his own life back on mar 3rd...
...we here in the bay area were under the impression that ronnie montrose had died last month due to complications from his prostrate cancer...
...plenty of us are even more shocked & saddened by this new news...ronnie was a local, he was an amazing guitar player & he was a hard rocking man who delighted in pleasing his fans...
...& ya, personally i was around ronnie, bill church & the lads in the days when they gave van the kind of backing he needed to step out live to match his critical acclaim...
...so with a tear in my eye, that's all i'm sayin'...
If I was a clinically depressed drunk has been rocker, I would blow my brains out too.
Just sayin...
I didn't know that, bgw, thanks. Montrose never really made it over here; there's a rather fine cover of "I've Got The Fire" on the b-side of and early Iron Maiden single though (Sanctuary, possibly?).
Stuff in the head's crap. Give me broken bones over that any day of the week.
hey nonny mouse
anon 5:16
depression is nothing to joke about. Mental illness has put cracks in just about every family I know, including mine
Crosspalms,
Binomial nomenclature? Bicameral legislature? Same difference.
Ignore that sound. It is just Carolus Linnaeus spinning in his grave.
Anon 3:18, I would put "drosophila melanogaster" in italics, but alas, I do not know how to change the font on this here newfangled electric box laptop typewriter.
@crosspalms
So you disagree and believe there are things that must never be the subject of humour.
How very imperious of you.
Great post bro!
The mountain is high, the valley is low
And you're confused, on which way to go
So I've come here to give you a hand
And lead you into the Promised Land, so
Come on and take a free ride (free ride)
Come on and sit here by my side
Come on and take a free ride
All over the country, I've seen it the same
Nobody's winnin' at this kind of game
We gotta do better, it's time to begin
You know all the answers must come from within, so
Come on and take a free ride (free ride)
Come on and sit here by my side
Come on and take a free ride
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Oooooo, Oooooo, Oooooo Free Ride
Come on and take a free ride Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
(fade to end)
Condolences, bgw.
Very sad indeed.
Wish there was more we could do to end cancer. And guns too.
I don't wanna hear nothin' bout no 'cold dead hands' right now.
Snobbie Claus Rock Machine is coming to town (I guess he's already here!), and tomorrow he's visiting you guys.
All the best to everyone!
...thank you, to those of you who have an inkling of what i had to say...
Go Blues!
I did not intend to spark so much controversy with the guitar virtuoso callout. We have all been listening to him for years and probably did not even know it. You see what happens here on this Comment Vortex with no WCRM to nonpluss some sense into everyone? Chaos.
@ anonymous 5.39
No, nothing is sacred, it's just that the most important thing in comedy is timing.
hey nonny mouse
CC, this dust-up is evocative of my own days spent fondly drinking and carousing with my old friend John Phillips Sousa. Brings a tear to my eye still to this day.
Too soon, anon 7:00, too soon...
hey snob, if you ever decide you want a research assistant...
92 top 100 !! going to WORK now.
I propose blending "Scranus" and "Panties" into "Scranties", which is much less offensive sounding than either parent word and would go a short little way to civilizing this commenting space.
Guy at pharmacy counter: "Some deodorant please."
Pharmacist: "Ball or aerosol?"
Guy: "Er, actually it's for my armpits."
Just my roundabout way of saying:
"Scranus!"
I read the new book on Saturday and Sunday, committed myself to Change for the better.
After being cut off by two cars, the next guy rolls thru the stop sign and comes to rest in my bike lane, I roll behind him, spit on his back window. He, seeing this, hurls a profane comment and matching finger. In the old days ( last week) I would have volleyed back with likely escalation, now I just rode home feeling like crap for not letting the whole thing slide; tell me it will get better Snob.
Got a beer in hand, better already!
BD,
Well sir...I like it. Since Scranus is a morph of scrotum and anus does this somehow dilute your new morphed word to an exponential level equivalent of drinking rubbing alcohol? Moreover, you need to workshop Balls and Weed. Balls is trademarked so watch out for copyright infringement.
The bicycle, the bicycle surely, should always be the vehicle of novelists and poets.
Christopher Morley
eating scranties
@ anonymous 7.27....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iS2N1mBsEdM
...is the joke to which you refer...
Fabulous programme.
hey nonny mouse
100th? Better late than never.
Wow, serious tone in here today. Can relate, though.
On a lighter note, thanks, WRM for the PDX visit. I was thoroughly plussed!
There was only one other time in my life that I played hooky from work just so I could get a scribbler to sign his works, and that was for HST. Take that for what it's worth.
@ anon 11:58 AM
So there's town in Oregon called Weed, and one called Zigzag. Coincidence? I think not.
Whenever someone passes I can't help but think about not only the person but all of the knowledge that artist possesses in their chosen medium (we are ALL artists we just work in different fields, unless you draw a check then you may just be the ultimate artist{BS}). They have honed their craft through trial and error, gleaning bits and pieces from experiences on the road that is their passion. When they are gone all of that valuable, precious data is gone with them. We had to hire a Tool and Die Maker a while back and it took A YEAR to find one that can actually build a tool that can produce a quality part. He is 60 and will not work long and then all that brainpower is no longer in the system. We all do our part to make it through this life and try to make it a little more pleasant for our fellow man and when we are gone we are gone. It's beautiful and tragic.
Bitches
As Leroy's dog said, "well, piss on that post".
McFly:
When we are gone we are gone, true, but, are we here when we are here? Lessening the impact on fellow creatures involves not a little letting go of "me and mine" when we are here, methinks. Thanks for your comments.
How come this book does not have the stickers with the lsd glue?
I've got some 18th century (pre-commie) genuine Chinese Rhino Horn that will just blow your shorts off. Get ahold of me and we can make a deal.
My book has sex scenes:
I spotted a babe in a mini skirt showing creamy thighs as I was locking my bike. "You're gorgeous", I told her and she turned around and smiled. She sat on the top tube of my Grandis on the way to my crib. And grabbed a hold of my crank as soon as we were alone.
It's weird. Commenting here feels deceptively like a conversation, but we don't see each other's faces, hear each other's voices, so it's easy to be stupid without meaning to. Is for me, anyway. I didn't mean to sound imperious. I doubt commie meant to denigrate Ronnie Montrose. And because it's not a conversation, how many of us knew the Montrose story before bgw told us? I didn't. Hard enough to lose somebody, but to find out weeks later it was a suicide? Horrible.
wiwm,
I should clean my glasses. I could have sworn you said bicoastal seacreature
bgw,
So sorry about the sad news out there as of late. I'm sure it's nothing that nice ride or two around Paradise couldn't at least help a wee bit.
And the same to leroy. Hopefully brother biker is mending nicely and has plans to strike a financial blow against pig ignorance.
Yes, a weird couple of days here in comment land...
...X-palms...you're quite right, & i'll extend an apology to 'the canuck' for calling him out in such a manner because he prob'ly didn't know...
...& to say i was rather stunned by the news doesn't due justice to my thoughts & feelings...
...this was on top of learning on monday of the loss of another friend from the music business...when i saw him last, i knew he was likely not long for the world but nonetheless...
...thanks, mr mikeweb...
...& just so no one thinks i've abandoned my sense of disgusting humor to morose-ity, i should mention to 'the endarkened cyclist', who's style (& bicycle) i surely recognize, that the gorgeous mini-skirted babe had creamy thighs 'cuz, well, she made me cream on 'em just before she rode you home...
...hey, she likes bike guys, what can i say ???...
CC a cunt? Okay, I can live with that, but lame? That's crossing a line...
Weed is in cali!
...c'mon, anon 12:45 am...read the fine print...i just offered up a 'written' apology...
...gimme a break...
BGW,
A Montrose pun at @ 12:16? I thought you were all upset and junk? Way to class up the joint.
Hey I think I know the lass with the creamy, white thighs. Did she have on a pair of novelty Panties(tm) that said "Caution filling may be Hot"? That's got to be her. Yep.
"Behold, you are holding one of the mystreys of the universe in your hand"....http://www.whitelotuseast.com/YoniMassage.htm
Yeah I ride a bent, what of it?
Comedy is tragedy plus time....
(please read this two months from now)
you mean a clinically depressed drunk has been rocker WITH CANCER.....
Condolences
Before going to visit a place you need to book a hotel to stay and to put your luggage at a safe place. If you had a plan tour then you can enjoy your trip very well.
The goal of the owners is to continue to expand the line of beach cruisers that Beachbikes.net carries while keeping prices down.
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The same thing goes for car doors--technically and legally it's the drivers and passengers who should be paying attention, but in practice avoiding them is up to us.
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be.
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A simple twist of the wrist and you can move between the first, second and thrd gears with ease and the chain doesn't move at all Affordable Cruiser Bicycle.
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That book place looks like a movie theater, interesting.
I am happy where I am, I have a long way to travel for Barcelona and for Brazil. I want to win the Spanish title and the World Cup, and I think both are possible.
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