BSNYC Post-Wednesday Boondoggle!

You may recall that, earlier this month, some lunatic attempted to detonate a Nissan Pathfinder in Times Square. Well, ever since then the NYPD has been vigilant with regard to motor vehicles--not to the extent that they will bother to clear them from bike lanes, mind you, but just enough that they will close down a street if a car contains something combustible. Such was the case last night, when authorities descended upon a car containing what turned out to be landscaping supplies:

To me, the real surprise here was not that the car turned out to be innocuous, but rather that the Buzzcocks not only still exist but are apparently also touring. In any case, in the spirit of hyper-awareness bordering on paranoia, I've also been on the lookout for suspicious vehicles, though I've been focussing primarily on bicycles. Here's one that appears to be up to no good:

Here in New York City, we regularly encounter potholes that can be as many as 20 sunglasses wide, and such a pothole can gobble up a tiny front wheel like Rottweiler swallowing a tic-tac. One day, I fully expect to see the rear end of one of these bikes sticking out from a hole in the middle of Broadway, along with a pair of wildly-flailing legs. Still, for some reason, people continue to covet pursuit bikes for street use--despite the fact that, as I've pointed out before, they look like those old Terrys. Maybe one day the male "fixerati" will embrace the Terry and brag about how their bikes have "sick woman-specific geometry."

I also recently came across this bicycle:

What aroused my suspicion in this case was the saddle, for despite the "colourway" I'm pretty certain the owner is not a world champion--unless the UCI has finally sanctioned some kind of "tarck world championships." Also, I had no idea that Aerospokes were not only still in fashion, but also now come in "pea soup."

Soon, though, the tables were turned and my own bicycle came under suspicion. As I mentioned, Surly have lent me a "Big Dummy" (as well as a cargo bicycle to haul this drooling, blathering lummox around with as he is too stupid to walk) and as I sat near it recently I watched as a gentleman, seemingly oblivious to my presence, began eyeing it with considerable interest:

This in itself was not unusual--I'm sure I would also stop to look at such a bicycle--but things started getting a bit strange when he kneeled next to it and fondled the bare canti studs on the fork like he was milking a pair of bovine nipples or trying to tune in WSOU radio. I suppose he was just trying to figure out what purpose they served, but from my angle I must say it looked rather odd.

Incidentally, perhaps the surest sign of spring--surer, even, than a man trying to milk a bicycle--is the handlebar-mounted transistor radio blaring the ballgame:

Yes, despite the fact that the rider is dressed for a Minneapolis winter, I can assure you that it is indeed springtime in New York City, and here is the radio in greater detail just in case you found yourself distracted by the reflective strips:


While you're liable to see a person riding a hybrid bicycle and listening to the ballgame anywhere, only in Brooklyn will you find that rider being drafted by an Orthodox Jew on Rollerblades:


Furthermore, only in Brooklyn will the "radio Fred" and the Rollerblading Orthodox Jew chase down a second Orthodox Jew on a mountain bike:

Add to that a dorky bike blogger riding a Surly Big Dummy and dangling off the back and you've got a pretty good picture of a typical evening in Prospect Park.

With that, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right you'll know, and if you're wrong you'll see messengers.

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and enjoy the weekend.

--BSNYC/RTMS

(Girbecco, creepy pagan mascot of the Giro d'Italia)

1) Formerly the "Maglia Ciclamino," the Giro d'Italia points competition leader's jersey is now the:

--Maglia Rosso Passione
--Maglia Martini & Rossi Asti Spumante
--Maglia Perini Scleroso
--Maglia Quattro Formaggi

(Letle Viride's seminal first album)

3) Why is Levi "Letle Viride" Leipheimer a favorite to win the Tour of California, which starts this Sunday?

--He's won it for the past three years

--He's been training hard

--He's got a "big load under my legs"

--All of the above

9) Which celebrity does not appear in an "epic" video good luck message to Levi Leipheimer, produced by Road ID?

--Entrepreneur and balloonist Richard Branson

--Metallica drummer and art collector Lars Ulrich

--Actor and pie plate enthusiast Jake Gyllenhaal

--1990s-era comedian Janeane Garofalo

(It's true, I read it on the Internet.)

XVI) In addition to "ass cancer," brakeless riding can cause your face to peel off and your body to catch fire.

--True

--False

("Don't make a fuss. I'm just plain 'Yogurt.'")

9) "It's about freaking time!" In which city can you now visit a "fixed gear boutique and yoghurt bar?"

--San Francisco, CA

--Portland, OR

--London, England

--Bangkok, Thailand

2) This bicycle was spotted by a reader in:

--Milwaukee, WI

--Minneapolis, MN

--Anchorage, AK

--Bangkok, Thailand

∞) A bicycle-themed tampon commercial? It must be "Bike Month!"

--True

--False

***Special "Vintage" Bicycle-Themed Bonus Question***

This bicycle includes which surprising element?

--A rear derailleur

--A rear Aerospoke

--A whisk

--An eerie and vaguely psycho-sexual disembodied hand