Friday, December 11, 2009

BSNYC Frifun Quiz Day!

While as a rule I avoid congratulating myself, I will occasionally make an exception on Fridays, since a general spirit of revelry tends to pervade these last few dwindling work hours. As it happens, I recently fulfilled a lifelong goal, which is to be mentioned alongside actor Matthew Modine. (Well, "lifelong" is a bit of an exaggeration; I've had it ever since seeing his excellent work in "Married to the Mob.") Yes, thanks to Recycle-A-Bicycle, this has finally happened, since he and I (as well as some other bike dorks) have signed limited edition Batavus bicycles which will be auctioned off to support some cause I haven't bothered to look into but which I am assured is worthy:

Here's my STMS (or "Seat Tube-Mounted Signature"):

Please know that I am under no illusion that my writing on something somehow enhances its value, and in fact I tried to explain that my signature on this would actually diminish its worth. (I know this is true because every check I sign bounces.) Still, they wanted me to do it, and who am I to deny the children? (Or whoever it is who benefits from the auction.) So if you're feeling altruistic and want to own a bike signed by Matthew Modine, be sure to go to the live auction on Monday, December 14th.

While I'm slavering all over myself, I also noticed recently that Fox Racing Shox (makers of boingy things for people with hairy legs) actually consider this site "media:"

The fact that a suspension fork maker would afford me this sort of respect almost assuages the indignity of being called "the queen of little NYC 'green-girly' bikes" by the "king of MOUNTAIN BIKE blogs." Incidentally, I still "palp" the fork when conditions warrant suspensionway and I've been very pleased with it, but don't expect to spot me because I always make sure it's disguised:

With that, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right you'll know, and if you're wrong you'll see the Japanese "Quicksilver."

Thanks for reading, ride safe, and if you're in Bend for Cyclocross Nationals I wish you "Happy Portaging."


1) What is this?

--The Wiener Dog of Destiny

2) Karl-Friedrich Drais invented:

--The "Cyclocross Remount"

3) It's enough already with the:

4) Tweed rides are out. _____________ are in:

5) "Dignity schmignity." Nothing says "Take us seriously" like:

"Interestingly, at this point, there is no proprietary engineering employed between the rim and tire interface, nor could Sullivan definitively cite a specific performance improvement that comes from the K10 'system.'"

6) The above is a quote from which publication regarding Mavic's new wheel-and-tire "system?"


7) "A can of Simoniz." Or, in the cycling world:

8) Singlespeeders generally prefer calf tattoos over knuckle tattoos because:

***Surprisingly Erotic Jobst Brandt-Themed Bonus Question***

According to serial retrogrouch and uber-curmudgeon Jobst Brandt, the practice of tire wiping (removing debris from the tire by hand while in motion) has no validity.


ant1 said...


ant1 said...

it'd been a while.

ant1 said...

full podium?

BadBeard said...

T !

BadBeard said...



ant1 said...

god i'm good.

BadBeard said...

All ten?

Anonymous said...

uh, huh! top ten

BadBeard said...

Boo Yah!

Erich Z said...

poop ship destroyer

Unknown said...


Fingerbang Assistant said...

slow banger

Anonymous said...

almost kinda so close...

Pontius Pilate said...



rezado said...

Frifun is awesome!

Pontius Pilate said...

Stiff headwind today. That's what it was.


leroy said...

We have a minyan!

Excuse me, teacher, ant1 is trying to copy my quiz answers.

mikeweb said...

an ant1 'n badbeard sweep.


rezado said...

epic playground fight under the old oak tree.

ant1 said...

leroy, i don't cheat on quizzes, i quit on cheeses.

hillbilly said...

that WAS surprisingly erotic!

way to go Ant123! How sweep it is

Anonymous said...

Maybe Jobst doesn't like wiping his tires because he's not wearing cycling gloves.

ken e. (loves Machu Picchu) said...

yo everyone! clown it up!

As seen on BSNYC said...

As a San Diegan I'm pleased to notice the arrival of enough causual cycling interest to have folks who want to do a tweed ride. But as noted, enough iz enuf, just ride cuz you want to, not to make cycling an accessory to having a dress up party.

Luckily for the tweekers it may be cold and rainy and necessitate the aforementioned, but, otherwise out of place clothingway.

ken e. said...

and i might add,
"just leave that shit sticking out of your tire, it will go away"

philippe said...

Welcome to your new addicition.

Anonymous said...

Tire wiping may have no 'validity'...but it's so getting popcorn debris out of your teeth.

Anonymous said...

Obviously up too early today not enough comments to keep me amused! Think I'll go for a ride... Thanks all for the hilarity past - my wake up call!!!

Anonymous said...

hahahaha, "king of mountain bike blogs" and he rides a 29" hybrid bike and lives in maryland?! WTF, that's like claiming king of surfing blogs, while living on the jersey shore and riding a boogie board.

Dave said...

This is the first time I scored 100% on the quiz, including the bonus, though I took a complete flyer on a couple. And who would have thought that Portland would be the first city to offer the bicycle funeral.

A tweed ride in San diego must get awfully sweaty.

Anonymous said...

the is the American release of "Messengers"? It looks like a fun movie.

Class act said...

I wonder if those tweed riders are going to go out and roll some natives. Imperialism rules!

Anonymous said...

The removal of Bike Lanes has nothing to do with parking and everything to do with f**cked up fundamentalist attitudes.

I say re-paint 'em. The Hasidim and their ilk can f**k off.

Anonymous said...

If it were Muslims that where upset about the cyclists, those bike lanes would still be there.

rural 14 said...

ant 2nd
sad wiped tires

Unknown said...

Is that an entire podium, Ant1(23), or are you just happy to see us?

Nice hat trick.

Salty Seattle said...

Hooray Ant1!

Udder said...

How tall is Jobst Brandt? The head tube on that yellow bike he's riding is about a foot tall!

Anonymous said...

I'm going to write a letter to the mayor complaining how the wigs, industrial strength stockings and long skirts offend my sensibilities and see if he has them removed....on second thought maybe that is not such a good idea.

leroy said...

Teacher, ant1 just tried to sign my bike.

He also says you didn't assign enough homework this weekend.

(And no, I'm not bitter just because I lost my shot at the podium when the paceline I joined turned out to be a bike funeral procession. Anyone could have made that mistake.))

Ride safe all!

Salty Seattle said...

6 of 8!

I've finally attained a score worthy of dauschund levels of dignity.

Thanks, BikeSnobNYC!

wishiwasmerckx said...

I like the calf tattoo because when he wears long pants and rolls up the drive-side pantleg to ride, it advertises his marital status as "single."

wishiwasmerckx said...

The hipsters have every opportunity to repaint the bike lanes because the Hasidim have organized a party to watch out for them 24/6.

mikeweb said...



Maybe advertising his favorite Sandra Bullock movie...

I liked that short movie about that German guy's great invention, but was it about the history of bicycles or bicycle crashes?

Happy weekend y'all!

Seanywonton said...

That shot of Jobst Brandt's extremely large head tube is making me uncomfortably aroused.

Seanywonton said...

I think ant1 might have OD'ed on lemonade at the picnic earlier....good job dude!

Anonymous said...

apparently you don't need a bike lane if you're riding an "H-Zontal Bike" because "your pedals are visible." Maybe these can resolve the hipster/hassidim issue?

H-Zontal Bike (english)

CommieCanuck said...

Jobst..pffft..what does he know? Next, he'll be telling us $250 sunglasses don't make you faster.

The best part of the Dachshund is the tenderloin just in front of the hind legs.


CommieCanuck said...

How tall is Jobst Brandt? The head tube on that yellow bike he's riding is about a foot tall!

According to that photo, he's about three inches tall.

Slappy said...

Tire wiping by hand is fully legit unless you're still running mafac racers with leather cord debris catchers or full fenders or you don't know what your doing. Nothing smoother than hearing the telltale sound of something you don't want under your wheels, reaching down to both wheels without looking and coming up with the suspect piece of glass or what have you in your glove, HaHA got you no flat!

CommieCanuck said...

nor could Sullivan definitively cite a specific performance improvement that comes from the K10 system.

The same is true for all tubeless clinchers: they don't roll any better, they aren't any lighter, they don't corner better, they just cost more, need new rims, and leave you with no way home if you flat. Meh.

But the big question for you Snob, is, are you on the chin or the nose of cycling culture?

CommieCanuck said...

By meh, I meant feh.

ringcycles said...

Ant1st better have a tripple sample ready for the WADA/BSNYC vampires. And no shirking the chaperone this time.

JT said...

Wishiwasmerckx, "24/6"
I chorted and durn near sharted with that one!

esau bin necker said...

me and rikim went to mooslim skool at the hazard mask today and we lernt that the three wise men in the chrismas story was mooslims there names were knee shack caddie shack and to bed we go and they smelt smoky becos they came from a fire

Fierce Panties said...


CommieCanuck said...

I'm currently working on a move, you lean off the back of the saddle and hook your shorts on the nose of your saddle, as you lean back you pull off your shorts and gently rest your bare ass on the rear tire at 30 mph. I've had no flats, nor need for toilet paper since doing this.

Two birds, one stone.

Of course, this will all be better once my K10 system is delivered.

kale said...


ant1 said...

sorry guys, i've been too busy with post win interviews to reply to your comments. First of all, thanks to all of you for a wonderful race and all the compliments you're sending my way.

Jen, that is an entire podium, but I am also happy to see you.

WIWM, nice call on the "single".

Seany, i needed all that lemonade in anticipation of my triple piss test.

Ringcycles, the vampires have been fed.

and to all those you may accuse me of cheating, i am the most tested commenter in the world(TM), and have never failed a test.

grog said...

you might say, antwon.

Fierce Panties said...

Ant1st, dude you are must have been Hungry! and a little greedy.
Did you keep you saddlebag on for the win?

Fierce Panties said...

I got a pang form the Moto Rapido. I sold one a couple of years ago and I didn't have any mtb cranks for it so I slapped on a road double. I thought that was kind of cheesy until I saw what it turned into. I guess you would have to go with the sit poll mounted rack because there are no bosses in the crabon stays. Thanks for the memories.

Jobst Brandt said...

All You Haters Suck My Massive Head Tube


Fierce Panties said...

fyi, you sound a little creepy telling Jews to fuck off.

Stupid Name said...

"Messengers" looks great, but everything looks great when they speak japanese, and the cuties are japanese.

It will suck just like all bike messenger films, tv-shows, shorts, and film festivals.

"And on the seventh day, the hipsters paint lines."

Will the curl police, be allowed to apprehend?

Oh yea, a man-sack is called a brief-case, in old skool days.

CommieCanuck said...

Ant1..if any more accusations surface, just start a foundation for hangnail relief or something and then people will just shut the fuck up. Also, date celebrity blonds.


CommieCanuck said...

Fierce, he was referring to any religious nutjobs, not just the Hasidim.

Fuck off Scientologists.

Fierce Panties said...

There's a lot of salmoning happening in Japanese Quicksilver.

hillbilly said...

sure, but ant(waybiggerthan)1, sometimes the evidence is overwhelming

Fierce Panties said...


Fuckin' Scientologists, now that's some hate that I can get on board with. And I would be okay if the Scientologists blacked out my bike lanes if that meant I didn't have to look at Hipster Ass Crack, HAC, 24/6.

Toeser Frozen said...

Man, what's with all the sideways riding today? One minute I was scooting along all seal-a-mealed in my winter santa-way lycra, and then suddenly I'm in the left lane with more honking than a goose liver pate factory. At no time did my sleeves leave my wrists! Not a peak of flesh. Totally kosher. Except of course for the santa-way lycra, which I got on sale at Goldsteins & Co.

Anonymous said...

Y'know, they drive on the left in Japan ...

Fierce Panties said...


Where do I send my dollar?

Fierce Panties said...



Fierce Panties said...


I still have a problem with it.

Fierce Panties said...


Tammy is lookin' reeeealleeey cute, but also a little bit like an actor who is doing sketch comedy on women dopers. I agree with the poster on socaltrailriders about the irony of the Giants hat. It's double irony with the her Bonds' connection and growing giant.

Anonymous said...

Fierce Panties-
Take another look at the post. It wasn't targeted at Jews, but fundamentalists. My issue is with fundamentalists - regardless of which fairytale they believe - mucking things up because they're "offended" by somebody's perceived immorality.
This goes way back. I recently read Herbert Asbury's "The Barbary Coast," written in 1933. One chapter chronicles the split between physicians trying to teach hygiene to the poor, and the Christian Fundamentalists who obstructed it because it offended their sensibilities. Public health being the casualty.
Gotta love a wrathful God, and those that would do his work.
Annon 229

Anonymous said...

If you're talking about fundamentalists then you're talking about my momma and that's where I draw the line.

Or in this case, erase the line.


And like I said before, just as long as I don't have to look at HAC, I'm happy.

Fierce Panties said...

Hey I'm Anon443, WTF

Anonymous said...

P.S. Fierce Panties,
The Asbury book is a history of the Barbary Coast during the gold rush, these events took place in the 1860's. Some things never change.
Annon 229

ant1 said...

FP - more like ANTW RONG.

Anonymous said...


I'm just playing Devil's Advocate, great movie btw. I consider myself a survivor of fundamentalism. But this time I side with the kooks over the flakes just because I don't like looking at HAC on Saturdays neither.

Fierce Panties said...


I'm just playing Devil's Advocate, great movie btw. I consider myself a survivor of fundamentalism. But this time I side with the kooks over the flakes just because I don't like looking at HAC on Saturdays neither.

Fierce Panties said...

Now I'm Anon509 and I double dipped. Balls.

z said...

gotcha. you lie. your fork in disguise is standard QR. the fox fork pictured is a 15 QR. whats up? there is a difference in stiffness.

Anonymous said...


Fishnet counts

Anonymous said...


Ride in rain soaked tweed and you'll never want to get on your bike again!

Dec 12, in San Diego, on one of the rare 19 rainy days of the year. It'll be a riot. Sure to make 20% of the riders hate cycling for years to come. 330pm at velo cult, the curators of old steel.

Anonymous said...

not all bicycling ass crack is bad

Anonymous said...

oops. link.

Odile Lee said...

last again! Lantern rouge isnt too bad for a chick:D

Fierce Panties said...

Nice crack!

Fat bottomed girls you make the rockin' world go round!

esau bin necker said...

the mooslim street is getting offended so you fellers better just fuck off

M. Mann said...

You have no right to question anything I have to say, you stupid fucking peasants. Fuck you ignorant flat earth douche bags.

snorris said...

Sheldon > Jobst

Anonymous said...

So who is "M Mann" anyway? He one of those Mini drivers?

You said...

DistrictXII said...

I'm curious why a blog with like four posts is shit-chucking at one of the longest running, most-read, and most prolific blogs on the internet. Talk about too big for your britches.

Cathy said...

Thanks for the nod to "A Christmas Story."

wishiwasmerckx said...

99th, and...

wishiwasmerckx said...


Jorge from Minnesota said...

Ja, ja, I am not liking das fundamentalists either, people with views who get the very angry if you disagreeing with them. Ja, I am liking das people with das carefully reasoned opinions, open-minded about all things and never getting angry, someone like um heh someone like haha someone like das AL hahahaha FRANKEN BWAHAHAHAHAHA BWAHAHAHAHAHA BWAHAHAHA.

Oh please, making it stop HAHAHAHAHAHAHA


The O.C. said...

Curse you, Bikesnob, for causing me to click on that link and go to that silly site. Bikesnob, that stuff is lame, and I know lame, Bikesnob. I have to say, Bikesnob, while I’m here, that I don’t know why you ignore me and then link to something like that. You have hurt my feelings Bikesnob. That place is run by a bicycle, Bikesnob. A bicycle! What were you thinking, Bikesnob?








Garrison Keillor said...



Damn it man! Come to your senses. It's not even January fer chrissakes. This your firs winter in Minnesota? Friggin' soft imports anyway.

yogisurf said...

Can't believe I missed the tweed ride in my own town.

The Grand Inquisitor said...

Love the blog!

Anonymous said...

Earlier this year I sent out this video to illustrate how the current administration is masquerading as a leadership team different from the previous one. The video documents how the choice between Democrat and Republican is really no choice at all. Recent history has confirmed the message of this video. Here we are almost a year after Bush left office and we see that really only the rhetoric has changed. The same program of economic, military, and civil rights disintegration remains in full effect. The sequel to this video is now available to shed more light on this false choice of governance. This sequel exposes: 1) how mega banks like Goldman Sachs created this financial crisis to then introduce their solution: a government hand-out of trillions of dollars to them; 2) how this same scheme is being set up again on a global scale through the development of a cap-and-trade derivatives market; 3) how Obama is simply managing this economic disintegration program that was furthered by Bush (and his predecessors) going back as far as Carter; 4) how Obama's actions have been just as unconstitutional as Bush's and how our country is being pushed deeper into an oppressive surveillance society. The sooner we acknowledge this false choice of governance we are given, the better the chances are that we can produce a real choice that represents us, not the institutionalized power structure pillaging us. If you would like to learn more about the timely issues raised in these videos please visit this alternative news website, where these videos were produced.

Anonymous said...


That's what they want u to think; make you feel like everyone is 'disassociated'. Conspiracies don't achieve anything politically, other than making one feel unable to accomplish anything. Frustration with politics in a democracy should mean it's working. Honestly, I'd be more worried if you or I were happy all of the time.

Anonymous said...

a fox Frida fork

The Brooklyn Fritz said...

re tattoos:
I was recently passed (on the right) by a guy with
tattooed on his left calf.
I assume the message is "you've just been smoked by someone palping Reynolds 853 tubing".
The tattooee will also be able to attain instant retrogrouch status the moment 853 ceases to be cutting-edge.
Or he could roll down the left pantleg, get a new tattoo on the right and start passing people on the left.

Eric in Baltimore said...

As a Baltimorean, I am embarrassed by "Luvroc". I am also embarrassed by anyone referring to my city as "Bmore". It looks a graham cracker, marshmallow, and chocolate confection.

Harrisburg personal injury attorney said...

That was a quick podium. The douchsand of time will rectify this.

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