BSNYC Friday Fum Quiz!

One of the best things about being a cyclist is that you've always got something to do with your free time. There's no sitting around and wondering how to spend your weekend--as long as there's a bike and an outside, you've got plans. However, there are times when even the most dedicated cyclists are unable or unwilling to ride for one reason or another. These reasons might include: severe weather; injury; broken or stolen bicycle; or crippling fear of inadvertently being subsumed by a massive naked bike ride.

So if you find yourself standing on the edge of the forbidding crater that is a bicycle-free weekend and are wondering what to do with yourself, you might want to try your hand at making a PSA. As I've mentioned before, the smug-mongers at Transportation Alternatives are having a PSA curation contest, and the deadline has been extended to September 28th:

Even if you do have other plans, remember that it really doesn't take much time to throw a PSA together--anybody who watches local television knows this to be true. You can even make a PSA in the shower if you're creative and you bring a camera in there with you. Really, the shower could be an ideal setting for a graphic PSA about the dangers of naked cycling. However, please don't confuse making PSAs in the shower with making pee in the shower; while I'm totally in favor of making naked videos, I am strongly against in-shower urination.
And while I'd like to say that I'm encouraging people to make PSAs because I believe in public service, the truth is that I'm simply hoping for some cheap laughs since I've somehow wound up on the contest jury. (To be honest, I mistook TA's invitation as a jury duty summons and didn't realize I had a choice.) However, I am honored to be sitting in the figurative jury box with a number of luminous personages. (I mean this literally by the way; Paul Steely White actually glows in the dark.) In fact, if you look at the website I'm actually listed right next to that "No Impact Man" man, who spent a year making toast with a magnifying glass and wiping with his hands:

I'd read his book, but I understand it's printed on recycled sanitary napkins, and quite frankly the thought of touching it kind of freaks me out.

Having said that, I'm now pleased to present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right it should be obvious, and if you're wrong you will see a fashion model riding a bicycle.

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and be sure to wear a helmet while making shower videos.

--BSNYC/RTMS

1) LVMH stands for:

--Louis Vuitton Moët Hennessy
--Ludicrous Velos Making Headway
--Lovely Velvet Mullet Headband
--Long Vulvic Mound Hairway

2) Why does this young child have a number on her tricycle basket?

--It's her 97th birthday

--She's competing in a tricycle race at the county fair

--Direct drive is the new fixed-gear and she's "slaying" an alleycat

--She's competing in a triathlon

3) How can we conclude that "Dr. G" is probably not a real medical doctor?

--Diamond plate mud flaps are a violation of the Hippocratic Oath
--He does not have MD license plates
--He had a 5-year old triathlete stuck to his front grill
--When I approached him at a red light, he refused to examine my uvula

4) Even though "Dr. G" is probably not a real medical doctor, he may very well have a Ph.D. in "Getting Busy:"

--True
--False

5) Which is not an alternate name for the perineum?

--Taint

--Scranus

--Grundle

--The Massif Central

6) Why is this Knog "hipster cyst" dangling?

--It is not compatible with a rear rack

--It is mounted incorrectly

--It is benign

--The cyclist is not a hipster so it would not "take"

7) What is a "Furious Fred?"

--An enraged fixed-gear cyclist

--A Madone rider who's just gotten his helmet mirror caught in his aerobars

--A Primal Jersey colourway

--A Schwalbe tires treadway





8) This picture taken in Brooklyn is further proof that:

--While once thought to be the stuff of myth and French nightmares, the so-called "accordion" actually exists in real life

--The urban folksy instrument trend is in full swing

--I am the world's worst photographer

--All of the above

***Special Lectern-On-Wheels-Themed Bonus Question***

What essential piece of equipment has this commuter forgotten?

--His helmet

--His bag

--His "scranus"

--His dignity