Friday, July 31, 2009

BSNYC Fried "A" Fun Quiz!

(Submission by CommieCanuck)

If you're still planning to submit an entry to the BSNYC/RTMS Fat Cyclist Knuckle Tattoo Tribute Contest, please be aware that I am officially setting a deadline of Sunday, August 2nd, and any submission sent after that date will be ineligible for a prize. And speaking of prizes, I am extremely pleased to announce that in addition to the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place prizes already on offer, there is now also a Special Super Deluxe Über Grand Prize. Indeed, it turns out that the good people at Chris King Precision Components are not only fans of Fat Cyclist (they don't really like me, but whatever), but they also work to raise cancer awareness through their "Pretty and Strong" program. As such, they've generously (and totally unsolicitedly) offered to further flavorize the prize bouillabaise with a Chris King bottom bracket in the "Pretty and Strong" pink color:




And a "Pretty and Strong" t-shirt in the "hippo" animalway:

Just imagine the envy mixed with excitement your friends will feel when you insert that shiny pink bottom bracket into your robust bottom bracket junction. For maximum effect be sure to use plenty of lube and install it while wearing the t-shirt without any pants.

So to recap, the prize list for the BSNYC/RTMS Fat Cyclist Knuckle Tattoo Tribute Contest is now officially as follows:

3rd place

A BSNYC/RTMS Lounging Smock

2nd place

A set of Knog Beetle lights

1st place

A Rapha Lion of Flanders t-shirt

Special Super Deluxe Über Grand Prize

A "Pretty and Strong" bottom bracket and t-shirt from Chris King

Thanks for all the great entries so far. I will try to amass them all in a single place for public viewing before announcing the podiumway.

Having presented you with a dizzying array of prizes, I am now presenting you with a dizzying array of questions in the form of a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right you'll probably know, and if you're wrong you'll see an ad for Penny Farthings Pantyhose.

Thanks very much for reading, emailing, and commenting. Ride safe this weekend, have fun, and don't put anything in anybody's flower box unless they specifically ask you to do so.


--BSNYC/RTMS



1) These wooden handlebars are:

--"a one of a kind work of art."
--"not intended for full weight support or to be ridden with."
--"only intended to be used as an aesthetic improvement or for display purposes only."
--All of the above






3) A fixed-gear "curated" by a "Wednesday weed" enthusiast is likely to feature:






4) According to the "Homegrown Evolution" blog, the scythe is to the weed wacker:







5) This fixed-gear Schwinn Varsity, currently for sale on the San Francisco Craigslist, is:







6) You can now apply your knuckle tattoos with a Campagnolo front derailleur.






7) Why is this man in the bike lane?

--He is about to purchase a bike from a passing bicycle vendor
--He is superstitious and is afraid to walk under scaffolding
--He is superstitious and is afraid to wear socks with his loafers
--He is a doofus





8) Why is this man in the bike lane?

--He's trolling for "flower box"
--He gets better cellphone reception in the bike lane than he does on the sidewalk
--His shorts are too wide for safe sidewalk passage
--He is a doofus



***Special "Do Not Put Anything In My Flower Box" Bonus Question***



"It's schlongtacular!" Where can you see this fully naked man?

--A print ad for Optygen endurance supplement
--A "Bicycling" magazine online feature about outrageous cycling fans at the Tour de France
--Graham Watson's premium "members only" page
--The 9th Avenue protected bike lane in New York, NY

114 comments:

coborop said...

ding ding ding

Luck E. Seven said...

DOPEST!!!


.-

Anonymous said...

...Freewheel ... Everybody Freewheel ...

Yeah Top Ten ! A First for me !
Thank you to Entenmann's !

Cranky Mule said...

downtube envy...

Anonymous said...

up there, next-gen EPO

OAKsteader said...

Top Ten!

Anonymous said...

Do I still get a top 10 w/ an out of comp pos?

Anonymous said...

Woot! Woot!

hillbilly said...

I'll take a top ten on vacation

Anonymous said...

genius job by optygen marketing folks - chapeau.

does everyone else stop answering qs after they get one wrong?

Anonymous said...

Did I make it??????

Anonymous said...

huh? took entire quiz and 10th?

rjnerd said...

Off to the 30th annual Pan Mass Challenge - a two day ride to reward 6000 people that raised money to fight cancer. As always (14 years straight) I will be driving sag and doing bike repair roadside. Must stop procrastinating, and finish packing tools. leave for crew bus in 90 min (and I have over 100 lb of tools, parts, etc to bring).

Anonymous said...

BSNYC: Larry King needs to be a little lower and right on the last pic if you were actually trying to block the image. If you weren't then you did it right.

streepo said...

Perfect score!!

Critical Ass said...

Gues you gotta do something with your discarded parts from your fixie conversion. I just hope they removed the years of road filth, loogies, and duck & goose shit that are crusted on every FD of that vintage. My Nuovo Record FD is just sitting in my parts box, replaced by a Superbe Pro. Gotta head to the tat shop and try to unload it. I wonder if the piercing dude might be interested in some old spokes?

dmg said...

Just imagine the envy mixed with excitement your friends will feel when you insert that shiny pink bottom bracket into your robust bottom bracket junction

No use of "Beefy"? For shame.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 12:22pm,

Oops! OK, Larry's covering it with his hand now.

--RTMS

rezado said...

Rosies

Anonymous said...

You can toss your caber in my flower box anytime, honey.

10,000 Aches said...

Wow, men in skirts tossing poles. Thats different.

Stay anon, BS, that is my two cents.

Luck E. Seven said...

PASS QUIZ

And now with a whopping 58.8 percent stouter rear end...

The geometry is so relaxed on that murdered out Schwinn Varsity that it may actually be dead.

DEAD BIKE

There sure are a lotta Doofi out there.



.-

Anonymous said...

Aside from being relaxed to the point of being comatose, the Schwinn Varsity was approximately the heaviest bike ever made. I think the tubes must have been solid steel, or maybe filled with lead. Even so, I had fun on mine, many years ago, charging along over the back roads, shifting those Huret gears ... youth wasn't wasted on the young, for once.

Anonymous said...

I'm going to buy that Campy tattoo gun and get "Murdered Out" tattooed on my penis.
I will then try to photobomb at the 2010 TdF. Watch out for the little guy with the massive tattooed schlong in the August 2010 issue of procycling.

Paul Bowen said...

Anyone else get a few wrong deliberately today so they could see the gal a-jigglin' and a-wigglin' on that p-far? Just me then.

"I am a bike nut gearhead and a tattoo fan so it was only natural to end up making one of these."

Um, no. No it wasn't.

Thanks for a vintage week Snobbers, hope you and everyone else has a great weekend.

Anonymous said...

Mikel Astraloza says, "TULECMB."

Anonymous said...

Dammit I meant Astarloza. Oh well, it's "Fried" A.

#10 said...

dude, the more i look at that optygen pic, the more i gotta give a hat tip to the optygen marketers. haters can read into the symbolism according to their whims:

is contador being separated from his team by a dick?

is contador a dick for separating himself from his team?

well done, optygen - good advertising.

wait, what? why do i keep looking so eagerly and excitedly at the schlongphoto, you wonder? ¡otra pregunta!

Anonymous said...

Isn't that what Contador said to Asstana?

Brad said...

Anonymous 12:50:
Good luck with your weird style diktat!

Luck E. Seven said...

Anon 12:50-

If you're a little guy with a massive tattooed schlong, you may be missing out on other, more lucrative, more satisfying pursuits while attempting your 2010 TdF photobomb.

Look at the BIG picture, tripod boy. Just slayin'...

3LEG HUNG



.-

tour guide said...

"welcome to jamaica, have a nice day"

ken e. said...

i'm all for a big happy inclusive cycling community, especially one where HTATBL and the Snob "collabiate", but a number of these questions' subjects need to be sunk in a ocean trench somewhere... with a live video-feed & limited air supply.

"you sunk my flower-box!"

mikeweb said...

Scrotacular!

Anonymous said...

Semprini

CommieCanuck said...

I'm going to buy that Campy tattoo gun and get "Murdered Out" tattooed on my penis.

or, really, just "MUR..".

CommieCanuck said...

Those Chris King BBs are Aereoliscious.

Anonymous said...

Kasey Kasem?

Fred said...

Pack-Fill Fred again. Dang, I thought for sure my Avocet touring shoes would make me faster, but they were fitting a little loose. So I stopped to put on a thick pair of rag wool socks (I always keep an extra pair in my rack-topper) and the peloton rudely went right by.

Anonymous said...

so does colorway not apply to chris king?

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 1:23pm,

Sure it does--just click the link on "color" just before the BB image.

--BSNYC

mikeweb said...

Right CC,

Like my beige under saddle pack is scrotacular

mikeweb said...

Also CC,

Nice job on the burnt out Joaquin knuck-tat

RANTWICK said...

I'm gonna get murdered out knuckle tattoos from a campy taint-tanium gun. Here's what I want: K N U C K L E S

Anonymous said...

Schwinn Varsity? Really? Maybe if it was the absolute last bike on the face of the post-apocalyptic Earth (which it could very well be seeing as there is no way that a nuclear bomb could damage one). I would rather "Murder Out" any bike on the planet. "Murdering Out" a Schwinn Varsity is akin to turning your mom's old station wagon into a low rider. It may be cool and low and have a cool paint job, but it is still a Buick Roadmaster. At least you can put things in flower boxes in one, a Murdered Out Schwinn Varsity (MOSV) just says you live in the room over you mom's garage.

honkybucket said...

Only reason I'm not entering the contest is cause I wouldn't be caught DEAD riding a pink bottom bracket. Whoever slays that thing is gonna be totally getting made fun of!!!

Also, those caber tossers are for shit -- I totally toss cabers javelin style and have numerous highland game trophies and ribbons strewn about the mantle.

Dead Bikeman said...

That guy seems to really like slayer.

CommieCanuck said...

I wouldn't be caught DEAD riding a pink bottom bracket. Whoever slays that thing is gonna be totally getting made fun of!!!

Gay riders who wear pink

honkybucket said...

So does that mean they're only gay when wearing pink, or does wearing pink permanently gay-ify them? Cause I'd totally not mind sidling up next to a T-Mobile era Jan Ullrich...

Anonymous said...

your third place prize is actually
the real grand prize. how ironic.

Wes said...

Tragically the glass partition still exists - according to the link to the penile saddle doohickey, the frameset on that S-Works is lighter due to reduced tubing size - womens getting smaller, mens bigger.

Anonymous said...

That craptastic Varsity is also too big for that doofus.

Shram said...

wow, my entry sucks so bad I'm embarrassed. Should've waited until Sunday.

ps. KNUC KLES is genius.

Anonymous said...

your comment on the "homegrown" site is pretty good. you'll have to dumb down your style to maintain commentator anonymity.

Anonymous said...

There's nothing wrong with soopin' up an old Schwinn. They were made by proud Americans right here in the good old U.S. of A.

Even if they're clunkers, I still like them.

Me and my wife rub a 1976 Schwinn Twinn.

Anonymous said...

For those not familiar with the San Francisco Bay Area, Pleasant Hill (location of the "murdered out" fixie) is one of the wealthier suburban enclaves in the east bay.

CommieCanuck said...

Schwinn is Swedish for Scheiße, which is German for shit.

Generalmotacular.

CommieCanuck said...

mikeweb, thanks, we all have our secret alter egos, mine is BCJPMS..Bat-Shit Crazy Joaquin Phoenix Mug Shot

..BCJPMS

sufferist said...

Ignaz Scheiße? That's weird....

Viktor Frankenstein said...

There's nothing wrong with digging up dead bodies, harvesting usable organs and structures, and reanimating the glorious concoction into a new life form.

Hats off to MOSV guy. A man after my own heart!

CommieCanuck said...

RTMS...you could consider second category for best moose knuckle tat entry.

--BCJPMS

Greg said...

SNOB - Funny your column in the sept Bicycling Mag is located opposite a CHROME messenger bag with integrated bottle opener and only a page flip away from an article on "The Land of Make Believe" including mention of the purveyor of hairy muffins! Were you consulted on either of these?

grog said...

Having a week endway palping singleways; a schlongtacular flowerbox collabo.

FUNK WHIZ

HAIR MUFF

Anonymous said...

The Wednesday weed bike also features a backwards seatpost, surely the metaphorical centerpiece of the ass-backwards groupo.

Fierce Panties said...

Pass!

I cashed in on the doofus-doofus.

Murdered out? That is so hetero.

Fred said...

Only wannabes ride the Varsity. The Le Tour is the connoisseur's ride. Or in a pinch, a Continental.

yogisurf said...

How did the tester test this??? "the highest penile blood flow figures of any saddle he's produced to date"

With the Schlongtacular guy?

mikeweb said...

Commie Canuck:

I believe that you and your alter-ego are one and the same.

You are on fire today, sir.

mikeweb said...

Good point yogisurf,

Dr. Minkow must be really into his work.

Maybe he takes his work home with him...

MaxFlow said...

i iz on yer butt, maxin' yer blood flow

Anonymous said...

Uh-oh, here comes the "race after the race" --

http://tour-de-france.velonews.com/article/96245/astarloza-tests-positive-for-epo-uci-says

Max Bloodflow said...

All you haters suck my balls in a precisely measured, experimentally repeatable sequence.

d. fofonov said...

Хы.

Anonymous said...

FRKN DICK

Dan said...

The "murdered out" guy spent $200 at a shop to have his bike put together?

He is also a doofus.

Anonymous said...

Anon 12:52: Todos Usted Los Enemigos Chupa Mis Bolas? Credit Mac translation widget - LANG WDGT.

Anonymous said...

@ anon 1:33 i think the Schwinn Varsity "tubes" were actually rolled steel, and even junctures were cut an formed.

@ Dan, he spent $200 on powdercoating, and another $90 on frame "prep work," $290 total.

Anonymous said...

OK, here's a question for everyone. How do you pronounce the word 'twat'? I've always rhymed it with 'what' but was in the UK recently watching a play (not Shakespeare) where the word 'twat' was used a lot (hey, also rhymes!) but they pronounced it so it sounded like 'at'. To me twat/bat sounds stupid, unlike twat/what.

I won't even ask about douche/touche.

Anonymous said...

It's TWAT KNOT. Douche/touche is brilliant and way beyond my wednesday French "coarse."

Crusty said...

I've always heard "twat" pronounced to rhyme with "Watt".

Color Me Badd Way said...

Increased penile blood flow? Could be pretty useful, vis a vis the haters

red neckerson said...

f y cn rd ths y cn gt a gd jb

Fred said...

CC @1:46 Just because Menchov has the bike handling ability of this guy doesn't mean he's gay. That's just mean.

murphstahoe said...

People walking in bike lanes? Rookies. In San Francisco, we have people living in bike lanes. Now that what I call a sublet!

http://twitpic.com/ca9wk

Anonymous said...

I think I could post up some huge penile flow numbers but is there a device I could to my powemeter? Flow with power!

wishiwasmerckx said...

CC, nice cameltoe reference. BTW, do you imagine Camels insult each other by calling one another "Vagina-toe?" After all, it would serve us right.

Halifax Fudge Badger said...

I wanna know what kind of instrument measures penile blood flow. Where would you attach it and how would you ride a bike while it's measuring and could you measure penile blood flow while doing other activities. Dammit man! We need to know these things.

Slappy said...

“We didn’t know where to put it,” Fignon says. “Feeling desperate, we sniffed it all in one shot. A gram each, which disappeared right into our nostrils.”

SSWC DON"T DO NO BLOW thats fo sho

Anonymous said...

I thought mooseknuckles referred to the male condition


http://www.deanjustisswheeler.com/images/mooseknuckle.jpg

just askin'

Anonymous said...

i bet all the hipsters wish there was a pile of hay at the bottom of a huge hill after their vans collapse under the pressure, or their tendons snap.
thats an epic ride

Meccanico di Veno said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Guess what crypsters? "Murdered out" appears to be legit, if you consider www.urbandictionary.com a viable reference.

thegock said...

So Snobber,

I am positive my

PHAT BIKE entry

without cloying photo

will put me on the podium...

So don't scrimp on the honies,

Aight?

The

Anonymous said...

I'm constantly tossing my caber.
But I don't get out much

C. Yannis Bosch said...

Had a delightful time playing the Clorox 2 Mahjongg Game and leaarning about different stain removal techniques.

I Rub Commando said...

that pink BB isn't going to match the yellow colorway on my recumbent trike.

my Garmin bike computer has a "penile bloodflow" sensor input. Zen-da!

bikebali said...

Well bike it is........

Anonymous said...

Some douche near Seattle is supposedly fishing for opinions on price points for crabon fibre water blottle cages.

http://seattle.craigslist.org/tac/bik/1301442314.html

Remember this review?
http://bikesnobnyc.blogspot.com/2007/10/bsnyc-product-review-gilded-cage.html

Kate said...

So,this makes me sound incredibly technologically challenged, but I can't find the BSNYC e-mail address... I found the link to 'email me' under the profile, but would it be possible for you to send me your email address?

It would make entering the contest much easier...

Thanks!

cycle coaching said...

Ringading ding!

Hearing Aids said...

Gotta love craiglist. That and bike snob. Another win for snobbery.

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