Friday, June 26, 2009

BSNYC Firday Fun Quiz!

As the week draws to a close, there is obviously one thing on everybody's lips, and I'm not talking about cold sores or ironic mustaches. I'm referring of course to Michael Jackson's death. Now, ordinarily I wouldn't even mention it, since everybody else is discussing it and will continue to do so for some time to come. However, mere hours after Jackson's death, I was reading the New York Times and saw this:



Impromptu vigils broke out around the world, from Portland, Ore., where fans organized a one-gloved bike ride (“glittery costumes strongly encouraged”) to Hong Kong, where fans gathered with candles and sang his songs.

Now, I realize Portland considers itself the home of "bike culture," and I'm sure it's a lovely place to ride a bike, but seriously--it's enough already. Is there any news or pop cultural event around which the people of Portland will not form some sort of kitchy theme ride? Do they just sit around waiting for things to happen or for people to die so they can put on stupid outfits and jump on their bikes? Also, where do they find the time? This ride had already happened before the Times even managed to complete its report. And while the people of Portland apparently have plenty of time on their hands, they are less endowed when it comes to dignity. Just look at this thing:


I realize Portland is a very progressive place when it comes to riding bikes, but I can't help thinking that they may have set the cause of cycling back to about the Michael Jackson x Mick Jagger "collabo" days. If I were not already a cyclist and I was headed to a bike shop to purchase my very first bicycle, and on the way I saw a bunch of people riding around dressed like Michael Jackson, I'd probably rethink the whole thing and start pricing motorcycles instead.

Then again, maybe the people of Portland do have it right after all. Here in New York City I was honked at by a driver this morning who seemed annoyed by the simple fact that I was riding in the bike lane. The driver was blasting "Billie Jean," and the crappy Buick he was driving probably rolled off the lot at about the same time that the song first hit the airwaves:

As irritating as this was, I opted not to chide him, and instead simply left him to wallow in his grief and rotundity.

Alas, while we no longer have Michael Jackson, we still have his music. More importantly, we still have both "Weird" Al Yankovic and his music, so things could be a hell of a lot worse.

With that said, I ask that you set aside any grief you may have and try to focus on a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right you'll know, and if you're wrong you'll see "So So Vegan."

Ride safe this weekend, and have a "collabo" with enjoyment.


--BSNYC/RTMS





1) Taints rejoice! Finally, a saddle you can:

--pump
--heat
--chill
--charge




2) Nice colorway! This crank is on a bicycle that is a "collabo" between:

--Fort x Philadelphia Flyers
--Ridley x Reese's Pieces
--Blue x NASCAR
--Cannondale x Halloween




3) If you're a "hater," which beverage might you be most likely to enjoy?

--Honeydew Bubble Tea
--Pabst Blue Ribbon
--Genesee Cream Ale
--Haterade


4) What is not included with this "Campy Track Crankset," for sale on Craigslist?

--A Campagnolo left crank arm
--The "OG box"
--Crank arm bolts
--An actual Campagnolo track crankset



5) Forget fixed-gear conversions. The hot new thing is changing your bike into:

--a tandem
--a cargo bike
--a Dutch city bike
--a recumbent




6) The "epic" pie plate on this Mavic R-Sys, if placed on a phonograph, plays "La vie en rose" by Edith Piaf:

--True
--False



7) Complete this knuckle tattoo: EPIC ____:

--RIDE
--TALE
--LIFE
--FAIL



8) Fixed-gears lend themselves well to wacky sound-effects.

--True
--False

127 comments:

Pete said...

one

Anonymous said...

BOO-YA!

Anonymous said...

podium NJT

DSTRONG said...

3

Anonymous said...

YEAH... BRING IT ON!

rezado said...

Keep on with force dont stop... dont stop til you get enough.

RANTWICK said...

So slow, so slow! Damn you! Damn you all!

RANTWICK said...

Hey, I've just joined an online pool for the TDF and figured out that I don't know anything about who's good at what (i.e. TT, mountain, etc.). Wait, scratch that. I just don't know anything, period.

Is there some sort of online pre-game show that would help fill me in on who's good at what? You know, like playoff-only hockey fans or superbowl only watchers would need?

Anonymous said...

throw more bricks

Surly Bastard said...

10 again?

Pontius Pilate said...

HAIL CAESAR.

Top 20. Gettin' tougher out there.

-P.P.

RANTWICK said...

The funniest part of that quiz was the wrong answer result, so so vegan, and perhaps the campy craigslist ad. Where do you find this stuff?

Anonymous said...

Definitely better to be so so vegan than so so NASCAR.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Rantwick,

The "So So Vegan" video and the Craigslist ad were both forwarded by readers. Thanks readers!

--BSNYC

Anonymous said...

Left Campy arm = Campy Record crankset (at least on Craigslist).

Oh, and top 20! (Something the late Michael Jackon hasn't seen in quite a while...)

Anonymous said...

Left Campy arm = Campy Record crankset (at least on Craigslist).

Oh, and top 20! (Something the late Michael Jackon hasn't seen in quite a while...)

ant1 said...

READ ERS!

Astroluc (Find me on Tumblr and Instagram @Astroluc) said...

top 20...

...and as I rode to work today, I too, heard the wailings of MJs music from many a passing car; though I was met more with a number of people who mustv'e been seeing in "Black or White" since they could not see the difference between "Green or Red".

I don't get the Campy question?! does that = an "epic fail"?

Other Side of the GW said...

I am so Michael Jackson'd out already and he isn't even dead 24 hours. Enough. Sheesh. Especially anyone who rode in that Portland thing.

hillbilly said...

Way to go Rezado, way to represent on the podium!!!

oh geez, i really am way too old to pull that off.

Anonymous said...

Bike Salmon relationship developing?? earlier this week I politely told a woman approaching me on a cruiser that she was on the wrong side of the road. today she was at it again.. I politely asked how she could still be ignoring my advice.. screaming she continued her path of doom, because I DONT HAVE TO! I DONT HAVE TO. I DONT HAVE TO ...

shmaltz herring said...

I'm glad that fixed gear video had subtitles.

Slappy said...

Aah well, a little quiet time with MJ on the record player should help with the grief, and a fixxee tandem cargo bike should tow the coffin

mikeweb said...

I was on a recumbant.

CommieCanuck said...

Damn. The one place on the internet that I was hoping would have no references to that dead singer.

We're cyclists, our bizarre weirdo quota is filled with Greg Lemond and David Clinger.

mikeweb said...

Anon 1:17,

Last weekend I was cruising up Clinton St. in Brooklyn. 2 women in front of me (at least with helmets on...) proceeded to make right turns the wrong way onto a one way street, through a RED LIGHT, I might add. On top of that, there was a panel truck parked on the corner of said street, totally blocking the line of sight. the first one made it, but her unfortunate domestique almost ended up as a hood ornament.

I of course yelled out my advice of "that's why it's not a good idea to go the wrong way on one way streets, BTW", in passing.

Advice that I'm sure will go unheeded...

Vegas Kid said...

It's so hot today in Vegas that I'm sweating like a Boy Scout at Michael Jackson's ranch.

hillbilly said...

anon 1:17 - this isn't heading north on 1st ave is it? i pass a woman every single day headed the wrong way....i suppose there could be more than one. speaking of which, WHAT THE FUCK?! is up with 2nd ave salmon, they are taking over!! totally out of control. and lastly, godzilla hit the manhattan bridge fence again? and why do i keep seeing people cart their bikes over it when the opening is 10 feet away.

ok, done now, sorry.

wishiwasmerckx said...

That NASCAR collabo is yet another reason triathletes should be shot on sight.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Commie,

I would never have mentioned him if I hadn't read about that ride. It's all Portland's fault.

--BSNYC

Craven Moorehead said...

Poor David Carradine, the Portland crowd didn't even so much as bother to organize a theme ride after his untimely death.

Paul Bowen said...

@ Astroluc: thank goodness, I thought it was just me!

Could someone explain please why that isn't "An actual Campagnolo track crankset"? Is it simply fake? And how do you tell?

Anonymous said...

Paul Bowen, see Anon 1:15 for a hint...

Anonymous said...

Hey, for some reason I was reading Fixomatosis the other day (I just check it for the articles -- not the pictures) and here's what one guy says:

"Fixed wheel riders in all of town could be counted on one hand back then.

Gonz, Ronasaur, Putz, Sean, and myself."

Of course, he's talking about 2003. That's another mark of fixed gear stylest --- they think they invented these things WAY BACK in 2003.

CommieCanuck said...

It's always Portland's fault, ...that's a given.

Anonymous said...

That looks a lot like a Campy Victory right crankarm, circa 1987. This is the only crank ever to use the 116mm bolt circle diameter. An attempt at compact cranks, briefly sought after by cross racers, that was about 5 years before its time.

Anonymous said...

So from the looks of it, you have to turn your legs with the handlebars if you put that recumbent contraption on your bike. And your pedals move up and down with your front shocks? Wtf?

Sounds like a recipe for disaster, or at least lots of leg/foot/pedal/crank/frame overlap.

What would we call people who ride slow, poorly maneuverable recumbent look-alikes?

Paul Bowen said...

So only the left arm is real? How do we know the rest is fake? Do Campy chainrings have hallmarks?

BikeSnobNYC said...

Paul Bowen,

I may very well be mistaken, but that crank (left arm excluded) appears to be a non-Campagnolo crank with a single ring mounted on the inside. It may even be a 110 BCD.

--BSNYC

theshepherdsdog said...

tough quiz; didn't do to well. no way is performance really selling a set of wheels with that on there.

BadBeard said...

Hey Snob,

Apparently the fixed gear culture in London is still accepting new members. And I mean members.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/audio/2009/jun/23/the-bike-podcast-chris-hoy

Happy Friday!

Seanywonton said...

"Alot of it was based on a saying i use alot but its mainly how i some up my life lol Its always epic and always loads going on but fail is also the way it often goes lol Also tho Its a positive way to look at it ya know like it may be epic fail but im still going and im still pushing for the better hard to explain"

- Looks like English class was an EPIC FAIL too. You write like a 14 year old girl on her cell phone.

spellcheck police said...

Firday?

CommieCanuck said...

Paul, all Campy cranks are clearly marked with the logo and the groupset name.

However, as a Campaphile, I will admit that Campy square taper aluminum cranks are not better/worse/different that any others.

Seanywonton said...

Whatever. The important thing is the box. Obviously a collector's item and worth more than the entire asking price.

Kurt Vonnegut is King said...

That's no pie plate on the R-Sys. It's a mini-spare in case the wheel collapses.

See, I told you: engineers think of everything.

Paul Bowen said...

Thanks Snobbers, Commie.

thefuture said...

yeah new yorkers portland sucks. the new york times is full of shit. dont move here. really. dont.

Seanywonton said...

Great, now there's a way to be excluded by both recumbent riders and regular bike riders at the same time! I'm definitely getting one.

mikeweb said...

I hear ya hillbilly - I always wanted to witness that fence getting chewed up first hand. It would be like seeing the off-off Broadway stage version of "Transformers II".

This week and next I'm actually palping the next bridge to the south since I'm covering at a downtown office.... So far the afternoon carnage on the wood walkway hasn't been too bad.

mikeweb said...

I had to stop watching that fixed gear circle-jerk video about halfway through. My head was starting to hurt.

hillbilly said...

wow, nyvelocity is really cutting edge, here is the most recent comment on their message board:

Bike Snob
By: Wheelsucker
Fri, 06/26/2009 - 1:51pm
Bike Snob writes for Bicycling Magazine.

Anonymous said...

Paul Bowen,

You are free of the disease shared by many here, we are gonners. You, however, still have a shot at getting out un-braindamaged. Run. Don't look back.

mikeweb said...

Actually that recumbant kit would make for great bike polo steeds.

A shorter mallet for better control, plus as a bonus, you get to use the chainrings as a weapon!

hillbilly said...

MikeWeb - I have to admit, I kinda enjoy that bridge to the south once in a while, as a change of pace, especially since the preferred route is getting really ped-heavy, I might start braving the stairs since the south side of the bridge has nobody on it, no bikers, no peds, nobody.

Sprocketboy said...

It is true that in this time of sorrow we still have "Weird Al" Yankovich to comfort us. Thanks for the reminder, Mr. Snob.

Seanywonton said...

Craven Moorehead said...

"Poor David Carradine, the Portland crowd didn't even so much as bother to organize a theme ride after his untimely death."

Craven, I think they probably did, but they had to conduct the impersonations in the privacy of their own homes (on excercise bikes). Even in Portland, you can't do that in public.

Bike Temple said...

To answer your question. Yes. We take any excuse we can get to ride a bike and have fun :)

The full Michael Jackson bike eulogy is at biketemple.org if anyone is interested.

kale said...

Well, I would say the "record" crankset would look bomb on my NJS conversion recumbent path racer.

Chainline FTW!

BikeSnobNYC said...

Bike Temple,

A-ha! I knew it!

--RTMS

Anonymous said...

I have a triple 1980 campy NR crankset. that's right, you wish you were me. You can be, for a price. But then you probably hate gears, and this thing is unfashionable and I should throw it away.

mikeweb said...

hillbilly, not to mention the deck of the south side of Manhattan is A LOT smoother. The 'downhill' on the north side feels like it gonna rattle my teeth out. Thanks Mayor Mike!!

Also, at the Brooklyn end, if you go to the end of that new 'plaza' thing, there's no stairs.

rezado said...

Heeeyooooh!

Man everyone already forgot about Ed Mcmahon and Farrah Fawcett. They didnt even molest any children. If anything Farrah gave everyone some mental pictures to beat your meat to. It isnt like you got laid to any Michael Jackson songs. His music is good but he isnt taking it with him. Move on he wasnt a great man he was wierd.

misuba said...

If you want Portlanders to stop doing annoying shit, buy Portland-made goods so they can actually get jobs.

Anonymous said...

I guess another place we won't be seeing any references to dead celebrities is Commie's blog as it apparently passed away too yesterday.

Carlos said...

PDX is silly but your town is no better. Admit it!

rezado said...

What does the x stand for?

Disgruntl Ed. said...

Kitchy?

metalcowboy said...

Right now, ED, Farrah and MJ are in a Texas cage match in heaven. I wouldn't bet against Farrah, Bet she's pissed about MJ grabbing all the publicity. I was at the Portland dance party at the end of the ride. Trust me, there was winged hair, charlie's angel sunglasses, and red one piece swimsuits representing.

Anonymous said...

"PDX" is the three letter abreviation used to identify the Portland International Airport. As such, I think that New York City is actually better than PDX. I have flown through there a number of times. It's nice and all, but it doesn't compare to New York.

Salty Seattle said...

In defense of our little sister, Portland, I will say that they can't be held responsible for anything they do. They produce fantastic beers (better than your beloved, Dogfish Head, I daresay,) and they have a ready supply of good ole' BC greenery.

Anonymous said...

Seriously, Portland has gotten quite ridiculous. I've lived here my entire life and it's gone downhill. Now using MJ as another way to "celebrate bikes!" wee bikes! everything is about bikes!

hillbilly said...

oh no, speaking of ridiculous rides, i am flashing the snob signal, please save us, the idiots at brooklynian.com are planning a "midnight tweed ride"....dear god. only one man can help us now....one man and his leggy accomplice...

Anonymous said...

Seanywonton,

True, in the Rose City you can't ride without a headlight at night, much less practice hung-fu in public.

On the other hand, you CAN get ticketed for cycling without a handbrake. Maybe they're onto something after all.

Anonymous said...

pdxftw!

Seanywonton said...

Hung-Fu. I love it.
Err...I mean, I think it's hilarious. I don't love it, per se.

I say whatever floats you boat. Just remember, USE A SPOTTER!!!!!

grog said...

Thanks for the Firday Funk Whiz. My singletrack ride yesterday included a rock on the trail (could have been a skull) which sent me slow motion OTB: EPIC FAIL.
I'm now relaxing and listening to the new Jackson 4 album which includes wacky sound effects.
Heeere kitty kitty kitty.

Unknown said...

*shakes head* pdxhate is no way to carry one's self.

Granted, the MJ ride was organized less than an hour after everyone stopped citing TMZ as the authoritative source for the death bit.

If you thought the MJ-blasting/breaking/whatever for 20 blocks was bit much, you should have seen the dj wearing a spinner on his face: http://www.flickr.com/photos/yorkedork/3662748113/

rezado said...

A spotter or a fluffer...either way enjoy yourself.

Anonymous said...

RE: Portland cyclists - "Also, where do they find the time? "

We have 13% unemployment currently. Time is the one thing we have plenty of these days. :(

Surly Bastard said...

Here's a bumper sticker that the Portland cyclists can embrace and hate simultaneously:

ONE LESS PEDOPHILE

Anonymous said...

MJ didn't do it for the hipster pussy...

Anonymous said...

Those crank arms not only are mismatched brands, they appear to be different lengths too. Which is fine if your legs are likewise so mismatched, I suppose.

Anonymous said...

I'm sure MJ's in heaven with all those aborted babies right now...

Who's bad?

d. fofonov said...

Hipster pooskii
Good for any.

Anonymous said...

Hillbilly,

You can take a hipster out of Brooklyn, but you can't take the "twee" out of "tweed."

RB1 said...

anybody can review a bike - i'd like to see a review of a left crank arm.

bikesgonewild said...

..."His public image wavered between that of the cycling naif, who wanted only to recapture his youth by riding on fixed gear bikes and having write-overs with his (on-line) friends, to the calculated mogul who carefully constructed his persona around his often-baffling public behavior."...

...hmmm, remind you of anyone ???...product reviews...bicycling magazine column...never quite sure of who he is at cycling related events ???...

...i'll say no more but i am just sayin'...

rezado said...

I can put the weed in tweed. No bs you should see the secret comparment in this awesome tweed jacket. Stylish and functional

Anonymous said...

We all have tons of time out here because we our rent is about 10% of what you'd pay in NYC.

And yes, it's super fun.

And yes, there's no jobs.

And yes, I'm from NYC now living in PDX.

And yes, I'm in love.

Anonymous said...

A bike ride from Portland to Hong Kong! EPIC!!!

Anonymous said...

Hung-Fu? There's no reason to bring David Carradine into this. Not on such a solemn day...

rezado said...

Why do those wierdos keep referring to portland as pdx? People from los angeles dont call it lax. Even though that would be a proper name for it because the majority of the residents probably use laxatives to keep their girlish figures.

You are correct sir.

jolene said...

score one more for dixie

just kiddn its sad aint it

honkybucket said...

Yes, I too would like to see snob review the left crankarm from his IOJB next week. Having endured that nasty NYC spring ya'll had, it'd have to be literally stiff and horizontally complacent.

Did anyone make it all the way through the Japanese fixed/BMX video? If so that'd be truly epic. I bonked at about the 6:00 mark. May have to go get myself some energy drinks (i.e. beer) and see if I can finish it out.

dutchess said...

i feel pigeonholed. so so vegan.

Anonymous said...

no welding necessary. cruzbike. get one.

Anonymous said...

Maybe somebody told that Craig's list that it was a Campy crankset and he believes it. Once, a woman who had just traded down her full size luxury car for a midsize, newer, but less luxurious car told me and my dad that in some ways she liked it better because it was front wheel drive and got around better in the snow. We burst her bubble by telling her that it was in fact rear wheel drive and checking by looking underneath. She was livid.
"The salesman told me it was front wheel drive!", she said. Still wonder what happened later.

Anonymous said...

and BTW, I do have a Nuevo Record double on a mid eighties Sequoia that I still ride, and a Deore XT triple with Biopace brand new still in the box.

Just sayin....

Anonymous said...

So the next time I'm nearly taken out by a brakeless wonder I can comfort myself with the fact that they are a vegan?

If only.

Anonymous said...

JESUS CHRIST! This is a HUGE news week! Check THIS fucking shit!!!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090626/ap_on_re_us/us_providence_plantations

I don't even know where to begin!

Jabin said...

Check out this movie about Portland's bike culture.

http://www.veerthemovie.com/

Jabin said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Anon wrote:
"RE: Portland cyclists - "Also, where do they find the time? "
We have 13% unemployment currently. Time is the one thing we have plenty of these days. :("

And for those Portlanders who are gainfully employed -- or don't need to be -- well, most of THEM are neawly-transplanted "creatives" with some of the weirdest-shit work hours you've ever seen. Time enough indeed. Move back to the Bay Area, already.

g-rock said...

After many attempts, I finally located your column in Bicycling within the 90 second time limit before I'm forced to throw down the magazine in disgust.

Meh. Sanitized for your protection by Bicycling.

sufferist said...

Where is that awesome anon that has been gracing our presence all week. I was really hoping he/she would wrap up the week with some of the anon wisdom that I can knod my head and say, "Wow, how long have I been this dumb!?!"

Philip Williamson said...

"Hung fu" answers my question of "what would a David Carradine memorial ride LOOK like?" Thanks.

Psyclepathic said...

DJ Weakly

-dean said...

About the Portland Michael Jackson ride thing:

I was alerted to the fact that there are themed rides like this happening in Portland quite frequently. Case in point: A David Bowie vs. Prince "funk-off" ride. Or the Zombie Bike ride. You dress like a zombie and fuck with cars.

Now the Naked Bike Ride I can sort of understand (until you ride it and smell the breeze) but stuff like the zombie ride is simply antagonism in a place where cars and bikes seem to interact with less friction than other places.

I'm all about pleasure riding, but these events are simultaneously stupid and harmful to the overall bike culture. Under/unemployed hipsters + P.B.R. + gimmick = headaches. Also, if you're dressed like a maimed rider and are screwing with cars' right-of-way aren't you kind of asking for it?

Luck E. Seven said...

Fail!!



A

Anonymous said...

Panties in a twist, much, BS?

Love,

Portland

the bearded one said...

nice... recumbent conversion complete with filth prophylactic...

beautiful

Anonymous said...

I'm working on collabia between brands such as Univaga, Rock Racing, and the Bing Bong Brothers.

Still no takers, these collabia are hard.

Anonymous said...

unrelated, but here goes:
I buy sixpacks of this one really tasty beer all the time. So one day I ride over the brewery, where it is born. I get there, visions of me enjoying said beer, and thanking the lovelies who produce it, shattered. It is a brewery with no place to buy it, enjoy it, or even get inside. jeez man, what good is a brewery without a tap.

MJ Klein said...

everytime i introduce myself to a Taiwanese person, they point to me and say "MICHAEL JACKSON!" enough, already.

MJ Klein said...

the real Commie Canuck?

http://www.google.com/profiles/110294124275458063125

keithwwalker said...

Well you have revealed Portland for it's true self, a bunch of bike riding kids (who all look suspiciously over 35), whose concept of racial integration consists of celebrating MJ by riding bicycles through a city, which suspiciously looks like a suburb.

The hipocrisy runs thick here, you may wish to relocate here if nyc ever runs out of irony.

Don't worry, as Kurt Anderson recently opined, Portland is nice, "its like Brooklyn without black people"

His words, not mine:
http://www.livewireradio.org/content/episode-86

@35:45

Marie said...

Wow, biking sounds fun.

John Thompson said...

There is nothing new under the sun.

borgbike said...

2009 is like the summer of love for biking here in Portland. Bicycle ridership seems to be growing exponentially. There is so much for bike snobs to get annoyed about here in Portland (like a 5000-person naked bike ride that took place two weeks ago.) You should come out to experience it!

In the meantime I'll keep having bike fun here in the City of Roses and Bridges.

Lots of annoying vegans out here too, like me.

yumhuyk said...

its like Brooklyn without black people"

you say that like its a bad thing.

yours in Christ,
isamu

g-rock said...

"its like Brooklyn without black people"

He then goes on to say "But I love Portland...". Key word is BUT. He didn't say "That's why I like Portland"

Anonymous said...

Re:
"its like Brooklyn without black people"

...Jewish people, Boricuas, West Indians, Italians, Colombians, Polish people, and pretty much anyone else that knows how to cook more than free range tofu, pesto omelets, coffee, or cedar plank wild-caught chinook...

keithwwalker said...

Au contraire, there is a budding jewish element here, there is the JetBlue lifeline from Portland to JFK.

As far as food, forget it....

Anonymous said...

The only thing worse than a reactionary vegan from Portland is a tattooed freak from Maryland.

Anonymous said...

I would say Portland is fighting for it's cycling soul. There are some real clowns here. I'm seeing way too many faux-fixie-hack jobs; land of the SS freewheel front brake only.

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