From The BSNYC Culture Desk: Art and Transience

I strongly believe it is of the utmost importance to feed your soul. Though I've joked in the past that I don't have a soul, the truth is that I do, but it's badly undernourished, highly distrustful of other souls, and generally Kafkaesque. As such, I decided to attempt to feed this horrible thing that lives within me by going to look at art. Fortunately, there was an art opening convenient to me last night, and it just happened to feature the works of none other than Stevil Kinevil of HTATBL. So I shook the cookie crumbs out of my chicken suit, donned my art-seeing smock, straddled the Ironic Orange Julius Bike, and headed over to the gallery.

My stray dog of a soul and I both enjoyed Stevil's art very much, and my soul remarked that Stevil's stuff makes the work of Oskar Kokoschka look like a bunch of Bazooka Joe comics. I have no idea what that means, but I do know if you're in New York City you should swing by and check it out since it's up until November 15th. It's at a place called InvisibleNYC, which also offers tattooing. This was extremely convenient, because it gave me an opportunity to have some ink applied subcutaneously to my knuckles. I chose my own unique spin on the popular LOVE/HATE sentiment:

Get your own knuckles at the knuckle tattoo gun.

I think that splits it neatly down the middle. No way I'll regret getting that.

My knuckles still stinging, I began to contemplate the search for fulfillment. Looking at art can be fulfilling, but that fulfillment can be fleeting (and alliterative). Then again, art can be spiritually nourishing in a longer lasting way as well, and its effects can sometimes be felt long after the art is visible. You don't need to own it to enjoy it. Tattoos, on the other hand, (or in my case, on both my hands) are "permanent" (at least in the sense that they'll be on you until you die or lose the limb to which they've been applied), but really it's the acquisition of the tattoo that many people find attractive, and that thrill is also fleeting. And of course, in the case of cycling, the act can be spiritually nourishing as well. But for many, again it's the acquisition of the bicycle that is most thrilling, and once the chase is over sometimes the disillusioned owner simply grows bored with his catch, like a housecat who has no interest in the mouse once he's killed it. It's possible that's what's happening here:

Bob Jackson Track Frame and Fork Campagnolo Fixie Bicycle - $675 (East Village)
Reply to: [deleted]
Date: 2008-10-14, 3:41PM EDT

I recently purchased this bike but realized I just didn't have a need for such a nice frame.

I am the Third owner and the bike was custom built about 3 years ago. The angles are steep compared to Bob Jackson Cycles "off the peg" frames. Tubing is Reynolds 631. The rear seat stays and chain stays were upgraded to Reynolds 725 tubing. Lugs are Shen Long Point and have subtle silver outlining around them. Frame has very high bottom bracket so pedal strike can be avoided. Rear geometry is tight making the bike super responsive.

Make note: this auction is for the FRAME/FORK/Headset only.

The pictures of the bike build up is just to show the tight clearances and potential buildup for this bike

The fork/rear bridge is not drilled for brakes. If you wish to put a brake on it please purchase a kierin brake.

DO NOT DRILL THIS BIKE- IF YOU CANT RIDE IT DON'T BUY IT!

Paint is nice light green metallic. There are small paint chips on the fame, mostly on the drive side seatstay/chain stay. I tried to take pictures but they're pretty subtle and are practicaly invisible if you put a lil carwax on there. No dents, dings.

Included is a Campagnolo Record 1" threaded headset already installed.
Measurements:
seat tube, 58cm center to top, so probably 56.5cm center to center.
top tube, 56cm center to center
Head angle of 74.5*, seat angle of 74*, fork rake 30mm.

Could it be that once the seductress was finally willing to sleep with him she was no longer seductive? Or could it simply be that he understands the fleeting nature of material possessions, and that he is simply re-realeasing this one into the ownership continuum? Personally, I suspect the first scenario, since if it were the second he really wouldn't care if somebody drilled it. (Just as, if you're truly finished with a seductress, you really shouldn't care if somebody drills her either.) I don't understand why some people set all kinds of criteria for potential owners to meet when they sell a bike. If you care that much about it, keep it. And if you're prepared to let it go, just let it go. If you buy a bike from me, once you've handed over the cash you can feel free to whip out the Makita and fill it full of holes like you're overthrowing a Latin American country and the bike is El Presidente. Just sweep up the filings when you're done.

After all, just because you don't feel your bike should be used a certain way doesn't mean someone else can't use it that way once you're done with it. If you want to chop up your handlebars and use them to make really bad music (as I observed in this link, forwarded by a reader) then you should go right ahead (as long as I'm safely out of earshot):


Mark Growden plays the handlebars from Doctor Popular on Vimeo.

In fact, I recently purchased a used Specialized Langster Seattle edition, and by drilling a series of strategically-placed holes in it, blowing through it, and banging on it, I was able to produce this stirring piece of music. And to his credit, the previous owner made no attempts to stop me. In fact, he really seemed to enjoy it and even joined in on percussion.

Indeed, I'd like nothing more than to relieve myself of all my material possessions and free myself from the pain that attachment to them causes. Unfortunately, I've been unable to do that, since I'm not prepared to miss out on all that TV. And I suppose it's my LOVE/HATE (or WHAT/EVAH) relationship with materialism that has kept me from making any significant attempts at merchandising, though truth be told I have flirted with it. I've even gone so far as to make up some prototype pieces of BikeSnobNYC merchandise:

The BSNYC/RTMS Pretentiousness Kit

Yes, the BSNYC/RTMS Pretentiousness Kit has all you need to be unbearably pretentious. It contains:

--One BSNYC/RTMS 100% Cotton Art-Seeing Smock

--One Edgar Allan Poe bobblehead

--One copy of the Riverside Chaucer (extra-pretentious Middle English edition)

--One Werner Herzog DVD

(Ottoman not included.)

Sadly, this ensemble will not be offered for sale, as my cost was very high and I'm just not comfortable asking anyone to pay US$975 (or €25) for this kit in today's economy. So I scrapped the idea. I scrapped this idea too:

The BSNYC/RTMS Wednesday Afternoon Recreation Kit

--One BSNYC/RTMS 100% Cotton Wednesday Afternoon Lounging Smock

--One BSNYC/RTMS high-performance water pipe

--One "Pootie Tang" DVD

(Recreational herbs not included.)

This package too simply proved too expensive. Firstly, the 3M Scotchguard treatment on the smock alone cost a fortune. (I cannot in good conscience sell a lounging smock that is susceptible to damage due to high-performance water pipe misuse or recreational herb-induced narcolepsy.) Secondly, even though the recreational herbs are not included, there are still laws against these things, as Tommy Chong found out. Thirdly...well I forget. But "Pootie Tang" is really funny.

So you can rest assured that, after toying with these prototypes (some of them repeatedly), the world will be spared from additional merchandising attempts. Consider that my contribution to enlightenment. It's just less crap to buy.