Blog Titles Are Like Mustaches And I Decided To Shave This One Off

First of all, more than anything, I'm extremely excited about the new SRAM DUB bottom bracket interface.  Is it because of the blah blah compatibility with the blah blah blah?  Hardly. As far as I'm concerned cranks and bottom brackets attained perfection with the Hollowtech II system and everything else is just noise.  (Literally, given the press-fit systems' propensity for creaking.)

No, I'm excited about DUB because keeping abreast of the latest bro fashions is very important to me, and now that the fixie edit is a thing of the past bike tech videos are my only window into the world of male style.  And from what I can tell, either mustaches are very in right now, or else you've got to have one to work at SRAM:



There was this one:

And this one:

And this one:

And of course, incredibly, this one:

Looks like something Rivendell would commission from Nitto.

That's the lab manager, by the way:

From what I understand, in order to curate his mustache he stuck his face in the Lynx 220L and fashioned it with a lathe:

Here's a closeup:

Amazing.

Then there was this suspiciously bare-faced test lab technician, who may in fact be a Shimano spy:

When you're under suspicion of corporate espionage at SRAM they make you ride around and around on the test track until you crack:

Here's someone with a mustache and a pencil behind his ear:

A pencil behind your ear makes you look smart, and a wispy mustache doesn't, so they effectively cancel each other out.

Honestly though, I haven't seen that many mustaches in one place since the "Scorcher Squad" got together for a group photo in 1899:

Even their helmets have mustaches:

Moving on, yesterday I took a ride on Ol' Piney, configured as the Good Lob intended--with chubby knobbies:

I'm beginning to suspect that switching back and forth between wheels may be a waste of time and it makes more sense to just leave it as is, but I'm going to keep messing around with it anyway in the name of science.

Speaking of epic rides, you'll no doubt be delighted to know that the organizers of Dirty Kanza have added a 350-mile route:

DKXL riders will depart at 4 p.m. on Friday, June 1, from the All Things Gravel Expo in downtown Emporia. They are expected to complete the 350-mile trek sometime Saturday evening, around the same time DK200 riders are completing their 200-mile challenge. DKXL participants will be totally self-supported during the entire 350-mile challenge, having to rely solely on convenience stores along the route for any resupply. For navigation, riders will rely on GPS route files, along with maps and cue sheets provided by the event promoters.

Alas, the route is limited to 34 riders, but I have some good news for you: I'm pleased to announce that my next Gran Fondon't will feature a 400 mile option!  Not only is that fifty (50) more miles than the DKXL, but my ride is also completely unsupported--and best of all there's no rider cap!  All you have to do is show up at my place around noon-ish, give me fifty bucks, and in return I'll give you a detailed route sheet:



Then you're free to fuck off.

Oh, and be sure to drop me a line and tell me who won.

Finally, today is Muhammad Ali's birthday.  Ali was of course a sports icon, a conscientious objector, an activist, a philanthropist, a humanitarian--and, in Portland, a white guy, apparently:

“If my mind can conceive it, and my heart can believe it - then I can achieve it.” #muhammadali #thegreatest #peopleschamp #happybirthday #pdxbikes #PDXtraffic pic.twitter.com/WGau8o17LE

— Portland Bureau of Transportation (@PBOTinfo) January 17, 2018

I'm sure that's exactly how he'd have liked to be remembered.