Friday, December 15, 2017

Well, That's It For The Year! (Kinda)

So here we are, Friday, December 15th, and not only am I failing to keep the Christ in Christmas, but I also neglected to keep the Dinosaur in Hanukkah:


I can't tell you how hard I'm kicking myself for not ordering that right now.

Oh well, there's always next year.

Anyway, what with the holidays and the year winding down and all the rest of it I am sort of wrapping this blog up until Tuesday, January 2nd, 2018:


Now keep in mind when I say "sort of," what I mean is that I'll almost certainly be back here before then to flog Outside columns and whatever other extracurricular content might get published during that time.  Or maybe I'll have some other piercing insight I have to share with you that simply can't wait until next year.  Who knows?  I certainly don't.

I should also mention that the Bike Forecast will continue through next week, since not everybody's a semi-professional bike blogger who can just roll down the shutters and close the shop whenever they feel like it.  So for those poor schmucks who have to trudge to and from work for another week I will keep the flame burning.

You're welcome.

Speaking of doing whatever the hell I want, earlier today I headed out on Ol' Piney (equipped with Jones H-Bars of course) and took a little spin on the forbidding Trails Behind The Mall:


People always look at me funny for riding through a mall, but I look at them funny for shopping next to a mountain bike trail, so it all balances out:


I even stopped for lunch at Whole Foods on the way home, so all in all the ride was a win for me and for consumerism.

Also of note was the guy walking five dogs and carrying a flag made of caution tape:


What, no dogsled?

Anyway, I finally swapped the stem on Ol' Piney for a shorter, stubbier one as per Jones's recommendation, and while it's only been one ride it does seem to be an improvement.  In fact, I think once I get around to taping the lower section of the bar I may have this new cockpit officially dialed in.  And between the fact that this bike is now: A) exceedingly comfortable; and 2) able to ride over pretty much anything, I suspect I'll be depending heavily on this bike to get me through what's shaping up to be a snowy winter.

Hey, at least I accomplished something this year.

As far as the lengthy list of things I did not accomplish, perhaps the most glaring is my utter failure to curate a proper BSNYC Gran Fondon't.  That means this past spring's Pre-Fondon't becomes the actual Fondon't by default, and the overall winner is whoever made it up the forced dismount first--which based on photographic evidence would appear to be this guy:


Please report here to claim your prize.

And with that I'm quasi-officially semi-signing off.  If you're still holiday shopping be sure to choose something from the gift guide, please let my warmest wishes fill you with holiday cheer, and may you ride boldly upon optimally-inflated tires into the New Year.

Most of all, thanks as always for reading.

I remain,

Yours truly,

Etc. and so forth,


--Wildcat Rock Machine



64 comments:

  1. End the year on the podium?

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  2. Bundy's a clock and fine frame makersDecember 15, 2017 at 4:06 PM

    What, no apologies for being late?

    It's 8am hereabouts and when I checked in on this blog a little while ago and noted your unexplained absence, I was certain you had fallen prey to foul play.

    I'm not sure if I'm relieved or disappointed...

    Anyway, enjoyable break to you and everybody else, but when you say you'll be back on 2 Jan, you really mean like the 5th or 6th, right?

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  3. "Whose woods these are
    I think I know
    But what's the deal
    With the yellow snow?"

    Ride safe all!

    And don't lend money to a dog who introduces himself as Warren Christmas and claims I'm good for his debts.

    For one thing, that's not his real name.

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  4. Wishing a Chappy Chanukkah, a Fuckin' great Festivus, and a gravel-ready Christmas to all.

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  5. vsk said ...

    Maybe "they" can turn off the moderation for the duration . . .


    vsk

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  6. Cheers to all and eggnog, too!December 15, 2017 at 4:35 PM

    May your mtb'ing exploits and general cycling efforts in the snow or otherwise be bright this Yuletide season!

    Thinking of a 'cross ride on the roads this weekend here in upper-New England-above-the-Massachusetts-line, and then a transition to NYC for the actual Christmas eve and day part of the holiday.

    Ho Ho Ho!

    Et merci pour tes efforts cette annee', Monsieur Wildcat!

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  7. Merry holiday celebration of your choosing Snob and a happy new whatever to the rest of you.

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  8. Self-extracted WI hillbillyDecember 15, 2017 at 4:44 PM

    Perhaps the faithful readers of this artfully curated blog will have a pre-solstice Friday fun-quiz in 2018?

    I'm anticipating additional trail riding during the High-Ate-Us for myself as I'll no longer wait until the WCRM literary release for pre-ride snickering during the recess.

    Thank you, Leroy's dog for your continuing adventures!

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  9. yah, festivus it up everybody! ride safe too. confused tho', can i claim my dollar today?

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  10. That flag was a wind flag so that he could stay upwind from those weapons of mess destruction that were pointed at you. Cold weather only makes them more effective.

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  11. Have a Great Whatever!!! See you next year. Thanks for the giggles.

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  12. Happy Holidays, or whatever godless liberals wish each other, y’all. May your tires be plump and your feet warm, or vice versa. Say hey to Warren Xmas for me.

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  13. Happy Holley Dazed!!!

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  14. Lieutenant ObliviousDecember 15, 2017 at 7:15 PM

    No airing of grievances? What kind of Festivus is this?

    Keep X in X-mas and see you next year!

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  15. Thanks to you and your family and happy Chanukah, Its been a decade of delightful time spent with you and the commentators here and I wish you all a wonderful new year.

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  16. Thanks to you and your family and happy Chanukah, Its been a decade of delightful time spent with you and the commentators here and I wish you all a wonderful new year.

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  17. I feel the need to air grievances. Oh well. Happy holidays, Snob.

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  18. there should be a podium position for the last comment of 2017. will settle for bronze if given the option.

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  19. Justice League AmericaDecember 16, 2017 at 12:52 PM

    If there is any justice, the Menorah of Justice will be pointed at the White House.

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  20. Red Ruff n Sore on SportsDecember 16, 2017 at 3:58 PM

    Hard to believe you're bailing for 2 & 1/2 weeks just as the Froome revelations exploded upon the cycling world. I mean you're bailing on covering "drugs" in a sport that's previously been as clean as a yet to be used white satin sheet on Cipo's bed????? One would think you'd be on the case 24/7. Shame on you, shame I say. Never the less, have a nice holiday with the family and Vito. Be careful not to inhale any fumes, or flames, from the Menorah of Justice. PS: By the time you get back all of the Grand Tours will have been canceled, leaving only the Gran Fondon't and the Gowanus Canal Tri.

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  21. “I'll almost certainly be back here before then to flog Outside columns and whatever other extracurricular content might get published during that time. Or maybe I'll have some other piercing insight I have to share with you that simply can't wait until next year. Who knows? I certainly don't.“

    So... business as usual?

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  22. I spent all of 2017 fecal doping for this year's Grand Fondon't, I am full of _____ : )

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  23. bad boy of the southDecember 17, 2017 at 1:36 AM

    Enjoy the semu-tine off.see ya back here when it's next year.
    Ride safely all and happy holidays!

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  24. The Ghost of Christmas PastDecember 17, 2017 at 9:10 AM

    Last comment of 2017 Podium question. If one happens to live in California, and one comments at 11:59:59 Cali time, does that count, as it will be 2:59:59 AM 2018 in NYC? Please have your crack legal firm of Dewie Cheatem & Howe investigate.

    PS Your holiday sojourn covers the time period during which The Grinch that Stole the White House (with an assist from Vlad Putin) will be signing his Tax Bill that will increase taxes on half of the middle class while also taking away health insurance from 13 million Americans in order to give a gigantic TAX CUT to people who are already rich. One would have thought you would have had some choice word smithing on the subject.

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  25. I meant....the semi-tine off.I'm firing my assistant pronto.

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  26. Have a great happy new anus, as the old Romans said.

    Ride close to the mall sounds fun. Is the H-bar shopping basket compliant?

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  27. So, About once every 10 hours this weekend, I've gotten super mad thinking about a driver who sped up on me from behind and swerved towards for daring to leave to bike lane for the left turn lane (see, I was turning left. He was going straight but... I actually don't know any sensible way to end the sentence.) I just wanted to share a link to the video that's been the only thing to relax me every time I think about what would have happened if Captain Road Rage had lost control of his shitty Toyota. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pCT3FO0TYyQ Enjoy, folks!

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  28. Now it's time,not tine.fired.fired.fired.

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  29. From one Anon to another (8:02 and 8:04)...ditto. Thanks to all and keep the rubber side down...

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  30. Piercing insights... like ear gauge tunnels?

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  31. Fuck it, I'm gonna

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  32. Happy Judeo Crustacean themed holiday to all, and to all a good bike!

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  33. Re: Ghost
    I'm glad this blog is about biking. That gives us enough angsty discussion about transportaion spending and cultural priorities. Mostly its about having fun on a bike, and I love that.

    BSNYC - Thanks for another year!

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  34. Re: Fromme and drugs - If you care, see a bike racing oriented blog to get a better take on that:

    https://pvcycling.wordpress.com/2017/12/16/the-truth-behind-chris-froomes-doping/

    Do I care? Not sure. Am I surprised? No. If you ain't cheatin', you ain't winnin'
    Does everyone in the pro pelton have asthma? No, only the fast ones.

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  35. Lieutenant ObliviousDecember 18, 2017 at 3:07 PM

    Anon yesterday at 6:27, I think the Romans said Happy Nuovo Anus. There were a few that said Happy Super Anus. At the very peak were the select ones that said Happy Red Anus!

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  36. It's mostly my timing, but it seems every time I visit you're taking a break or about to... Well, Season Greetings!

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  37. Pretty funny: https://twitter.com/TheRaceRadio/status/942424483574431744

    I am not quite sure how he lights those fuses so fast, and where he's keeping the fireworks, but a nice revenge fantasy for most bike commuters.

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  38. Pretty much every elite endurance athlete comes down with "asthma." There are probably a few that did not use. Phil Gaimon comes to mind.

    https://twitter.com/TheRaceRadio/status/942424483574431744

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  39. Thanks for the blog, the Outside columns, the surprise Brooks reports, and the forecast (which I only occasionally remember to read because I'm in Chicago and your weather is often what we got yesterday, or is completely different, or I just forgot to read it ......). Can't decide whether to take your advice and build a wheel set over the winter (ordered a new frame, a step-through, because my legs seem to be getting older), but I might. Looking forward to building up the new bike no matter what. And wishing you, the rest of the Snob family, and all the commentariat safe rides, happy holidays with family/friends/whoever, and maybe an extra slice of pizza for Leroy's dog.

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  40. I'm putting fenders on my one bike that didn't have fenders! Fun.

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  41. There must be a really picky thief out on first avenue. He only steals the stem and leaves everything else. OTOH, maybe he's not greedy and only takes what he needs.

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  42. Merry Scranus!

    Glad the Jones is working out for you.

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  43. Happy Axial Tilt Days everybody!

    Have fun riding your bikes, or drinking hot chocolate. Whatever moves you.

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  44. Rode a bike all day today, but soon I'll be driving or riding buses in Madison.December 19, 2017 at 5:47 PM

    First serious polar vortex on the way. Not that cold in Madison, but St Paul will have high temps below 0. So you might miss out on some Minnesota humble brags while you're on "vacay".

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  45. rode a bike today too

    but only in the tour de basement. me foot has taken to being sliced up pretty well but the doctdoor says nyet to to hard riding still

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  46. I'm pretty sure Jeff Jones recommends wrapping the bar tape over your grips, along the flat part of the bars as well as the outer loop, over the levers, and around the stem as well. Go cork yourself.

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  47. Have we seen this already? Probably. Worth a looky loo though.

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  48. Janine - good look with your filth prophylactics... I was riding down a street today that had a very long set of parallel wet stripes on the pavement. Not sure if it was a from a garbage truck, or something similarly icky. Glad I had my wheel-brows on!

    DOP - maybe the bike owner couldn't find a measuring device so they took the old stem into a bike shop so he/she could hold it up and say: "Do you have one of these that is just a little bit longer/shorter?"

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  49. bad boy of the southDecember 20, 2017 at 6:26 PM

    Spokey,glad you had your tour,but you're not supposed to do any slicing. that's reserved for golf.

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  50. Flyover bike commuterDecember 20, 2017 at 7:15 PM

    Here's a piercing insight for you. Piercings hurt, or so I've heard. I admit that I have never deliberately pierced any part of my body, but the inadvertent piercings were painful enough, and usually followed by a tetanus shot, which although it's not technically a piercing, is somewhat painful in its own right.

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  51. Vroom vrooom

    Darkest days of darkest year

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  52. WASHINGTON—Grinning proudly as blood gushed from his victim’s windpipe, House Speaker Paul Ryan reportedly slit an auto mechanic’s throat Wednesday to kick off the GOP purge of the working class. “With our tax reform bill giving us the mandate we have long desired, there’s nothing stopping us now—commence the bloodletting!” said Ryan, holding up the lifeless body of the local blue-collar worker as blood from his severed arteries sprayed reporters gathered at the press conference. “Now we can finally experience the sweet release of all our pent-up hatred of the parasitic working class without fear of punishment or retribution. The blood of the filthy proletariat will flow in the streets, and the families of truck drivers, nurses, and retail employees all over the nation will know our wrath. No one making under $50,000 a year is safe. Today, the American economy will be put back on the right track, and the liquidation begins!” At press time, blood-drenched Republican senators Bob Corker and Lisa Murkowski were seen sprinting into a Baltimore Walmart wielding machetes.

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  53. Yesterday: 65F, sunny, calm, a nice lunchtime ride
    Today: 15F, cloudy, snowing, no riding

    No piercing insights, just general whining. I did once pierce my thumb with an x-acto knife and I whined quite a bit, so maybe they go together.

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  54. brighter days ahead! here's a pro tip, if you only need one or two stitches, don't get a local anesthetic, 'cause the needle and swelling involved will hurt as much as the former. just sayin'.

    I noticed there's a metal pole reference in the beat street 'santa rap'! my grievance is all about three letters, s, u, and v.

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  55. "Focks News reports quasi-official sources indicate the IOC soon will confirm rumors BSNYC’s Gran Fondon't is to become part of the Games—an action long thought possible after the astonishing growth of the BSNYC family of media outreach platforms and associated events. What better reward than becoming part of the IOC’s pace-making global corporate crusade?"
    So, rest easy about the absent 2017 Fondon’t. Curating one Olympic BSNYC GFd’t every four years will be plenty. Just don’t get complacent. Doping and security arrangements await. Making sure most competitors dope without detection may be easy; keeping them secure from the NYPD will not be.

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  56. When does the airing of the grievances start? And what is the proper doping doping protocol for the feats of strength? Festivus approaches!

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  57. Enjoyed the caution tape pic, do you think he was warning people about his dogs or is it just for general visibility?

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