They should just let me write the whole damn magazine already.
Moving on, I'm pleased to announce I treated myself to a bicycle ride this morning. No wood, no crabon, just a metal bike with metal wheels:
I am extremely fond of this bicycle--it's my favorite bendy-bar bike--and really when it comes down to it is there anything you can't do on a road bike with mountain bike pedals and medium reach brakes? Well, sure, but it's pretty goddamn versatile, and it fits 35mm tires with plenty of room to spare:
I picked these tires up awhile back in the spirit of trying something new, and so far they've been great, but the venerable Panaracer Pasela remains my favorite.
As for my ride, you'll no doubt be thrilled to learn I enjoyed it very much, because there's nothing better than knowing other people are out riding while you're working. I even treated myself to a fancy farm-to-table lunch at the Stone Barns Center For Food And Agriculture:
I spent $15 because that's just the sort of decadent lifestyle I lead.
Anyway, Stone Barns is a lovely place, though they have a patently absurd policy with regard to bicycles:
Keep in mind this rack is like half a mile from the café, which would require like 15 minutes of cleated clomping each way. Also keep in mind that while they don't allow bikes you're perfectly welcome to drive around the place in your car, and there are multiple parking lots on the grounds:
Yes, welcome to America, a topsy-turvy place where bikes are more dangerous than cars and guns keep you safe.
I should say though that any time I've stopped here I've ignored the sign and so far I haven't had any trouble. There was this one time when the woman in the booth balked a bit, but I laid it on thick about how I'd ridden all the way up from the city and how I promised to ride really slowly. She acquiesced, and incredibly I managed not to kill anybody with my 20lb pedal-powered death machine.
And with that, I leave you to your weekends. Enjoy, ride safe, and thanks for reading. Your bill is in the mail.
--Wildcat Rock Machine
Podium?
ReplyDeleteWooHoo, podium twice in one week?!
ReplyDeleteno way pode! guessing safely in at winter speed, 9th.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteApparently commuters in Canada's riding shorts are not the only ones taking matters into their own hands: http://www.bbc.com/news/av/world-asia-china-42189892/commuter-in-china-paints-own-road-signs
ReplyDeleteOoo fredheads gonna ‘splode! EVERYONE knows you can’t ride bicycles seriously without the right tactical race clothing. Everyone who reads Outside, anyway.
ReplyDeleteAh! the final sentence of the Outside column reminded me of Bret and his absence... Wonder where/when he's been lately.
ReplyDeleteI don't know if I mentioned it at the time, but this year I did the Tour de Bronx in a dress after I was heckled last year for doing it in jeans.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I for one like Outside. It's the best source for one of my favorite short form non-fiction genres: people dying on mountains,
ReplyDeleteNot one mention of jorts? What kind of hack publication is that? DAMNIT, MAN.
ReplyDeleteI like to dress up to ride. A nice suit and tie, or on a nice day maybe just a day cravat. I've even cycled in my tuxedo. I would put the outer limit for underwear comfort at about 60 miles, not 90, though. I have some special padded underpants for that, and I own zero pieces of lycra or cycling specific clothing at all (except for a rain cape).
ReplyDeleteHey Snobby! How many outside readers do you have to piss off, before the folks at Outside decide that you are more of a liability then a contributor? - masmojo
ReplyDeletejeans, shorts, cotton, regular underwear - that's me..
ReplyDeletethough i did learn one secret to jeans - spandex!
another secret, i do not know if male gender jeans can have spandex but the 'other gender' jeans do.
spandex WAY beats regular denim - usually it is "2% lycra".. i guess that is enough.
only down side is that 'other gender' jeans all have shallow pockets, no wonder the other gender is frequently out of sorts - though their butts look great :)
wle
Hi, just wanted to let you know that the black-with-splattered-white PRO stem & seatpost look SHIT on your beautiful Milwaukee.
ReplyDeleteSorry Snobby, but riding as little as 25 miles in your tighty whities and jeans can cause sore spots on your rear (from the seams), and inner thigh abraisons (from the jeans sliding around every pedal stroke. (I learned this when I was a "Noob", back in the Stone Age).....Just do the old MTN bike trick of putting cycling shorts on UNDER your baggies. The T-shirt will work (as long as you aren't "killin' it").
ReplyDeleteDoper,
ReplyDeleteLike I give a shit.
Grump,
I often do the bike-shorts-under-regular-shorts thing (not sure it qualifies as an "old mountain bike trick"), but that aside you must be wearing some cheap-ass underwear! [Winking emoji]
--Wildcat Etc.
Fat bikes lend themselves to wearing one's fat pants.
ReplyDeleteGot to hand it to you, janinedm. Out of all the commenters in the BSNYC family, you’re the one I’d most enjoy conversing with over a cuppa some afternoon.
ReplyDeleteAs for pissing off too many Outside readers, Fnarf, there’s no such thing as bad publicity, amiright?
Whoops! Should have credited masmojo.
ReplyDeleteThe management apologizes for any confusion to which this error may have allegedly contributed.
I know hybrids are déclassé, but my Trek with touring tires, v brakes, bmx pedals and LX mtn bike components has become my go to everyday, all terrain bicycle.
ReplyDeleteBut I'm a recovering mountain Fred, not road Fred.
PS, I even added (gasp) bar ends for hand options.
Me and my son wanted to see how far we could go one time. We are both just commuters, him 3 miles, me 9. Just regular clothes and shoes and we went 70 miles in 5 hours before we decided our wrists and feet hurt more than we wanted. No other issues and we did it with just 50% watered down OJ. No bonking or cramps, sometimes you just need to go out and have a good time no matter what others think you need to have or do first. It was one of the best times we had.
ReplyDeleteHey Doper, that may just be it. Check to see if you got shallow pockets.
ReplyDeleteI just came back to vent. So I'm riding up Central Park West, like I do. I see a kerfuffle, with someone on the ground and a bike laying on its side and hop off to see if I can help. Turns out a lady was crossing the street and got nailed by a cyclist. Had a huge goose egg on the back of her head, poor woman. But get this. GET THIS. I realized that I recognized the cyclist because he once rear ended me when I came to a "sudden" (I was half a block ahead of him) stop at a red light because a lady with a stroller had the right of way. She was sort of staying on the sidewalk waiting to see what I would do. I had put my foot down and had time to say "You have the right of way but I don't know about the guy behind me." I should also note the sun was up. So he had like a million years to see me and stop and still hit me and then tonight he hit some lady and gave her a head injury. Tonight, he said that he saw the light and pulled his brake but it was too late. BULLSHIT. If you're wondering how I recognized him, it was his difficult to place European accent matched with his handlebars. I don't generally truck with those Velominati rules, but I'm developing a prejudice against people with drop bars who use foam cozies instead of wrapping them with tape like grownups. Fuck. That. Dude. I'm probably going to catch another ticket on account of his bitch ass.
ReplyDeleteIn regards to eye contact. You must live somewhere that discourages "crack dealer" Windows. The fad here is to make Windows so dark nothing can be seen in the car, especially eyes belonging to the mindless motoring madness.
ReplyDeleteWhen wearing loose pants, you need to take precautions or your cuffs can get caught on a chainring. I typically tuck my right pant cuff into my socks - quick, lightweight, and simple. My dad used a springy steel pant cuff clip. If you have long shoelaces, you need to take precautions with them, too. ... Or you can get a bike with a chain guard.
ReplyDeleteFor extensive discussion of bike clothing, from a woman's perspective, see the Lovely Bicycle blog: http://lovelybike.blogspot.com/search/label/clothing
One wears underwear with jeans?
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteI wore lycra for 20 years but haven't for the last 10. Denim shorts and polyester shirts, Champion C9, poor man's Patagonia.
How come I can't access the comments on the Outside site?
Tips on setting up your Jones bar. You want your hands to rest naturally on the rear part of the grip. That way you take advantage of the most outstanding feature of these bars, the width. Choose the right length stem to achieve this. Position the brake lever so that you can keep your hands on the rear half of the grip while braking. I don't agree with Jeff on the stubby stem. Having your hands on the crossbar is a lousy place to be, too narrow there, unstable.
ReplyDeleteI need to tuck both pant legs into my socks to ride, because of the pretty wide tires (2.35"). I leave 'em like that all day and pretend it's a fashion statement.
ReplyDelete35mm tyres with 14mm internal width rims?(That of those Mayvic CPx22 rimes that your 'walkee is sportin') Are you INSANE? Such disregard for descriptions of light-bulbs, snakes and whatnot can only lead to certain DETH.
ReplyDeletePS What pressure you..... Oh never mind.
kevin the hamster,
ReplyDeleteThey are CXP33s which is 10 more than CXP22 so I think I'm safe.
--Wildcat Etc.
In that case - a fine choice. Not that i really care anyways.* Similarly I have knobbly quasi-rubberthings by WTB in 40mm adorning my precambrian era Open Pros on my all-weather drop-barred chunkybike, and by all accounts I should also not be alive by now.
ReplyDelete*this is not actually true
I asked my dog to stop riding in his regular clothes because the dry cleaning bills were adding up.
ReplyDeleteRide regular all!
Huh? What?
ReplyDeleteSchwalbe tires would not be happy on 14mm rims (according to Schwalbe), but they have weird tire widths. Not sure how it translates to other brands.
ReplyDeletehttps://www.schwalbetires.com/tech_info/tire_dimensions (tab - "Which tire fits which rim?")
for your safety, you are not allowed to walk on the grounds.
ReplyDeleteJanine- If you like 'dying on the mountain' non-fiction, try some old time 'freezing in the Yukon' fiction:
ReplyDeleteTo Build a Fire, by Jack London
Snob- cxp 33's rule. Hard to find, but worth it, especially with 36 spokes.
Is it a good idea to go commando?
ReplyDeleteWildcat, based on your preferences for your steel Milwaukee with wide tires and your Marin with Jones bars, I think you should test a rando bike with fat Compass tires (maybe Johnny Coast could set you up with something) and a Rivendell build like an Appaloosa or Cheviot with fenders and a front basket. Those types of bikes function very well as all-rounders, especially when equipped with lights and a generator hub. And compared to the Renovo you’re currently testing, either would be a bargain.
ReplyDeleteFor clothing, to me, length of time on the bike makes all the difference. Plooting around town for 30-60 minutes, "regular" clothes are just fine. Hitting the countryside for 2-6 hours, I like padded shorts and a jersey with pockets so I can carry stuff.
ReplyDeleteBut even on the short rides, a seam up the ass from jeans and a cotton top just plain suck. Wet cotton takes too long to dry. Whereas a wool tee can readily be found on the cheap from Sierra Trading Post, Steep & Cheap and other non-Rapha outlets.
btw, what's with your weird obsession with Rapha?
Re: Stone Barn-
ReplyDeleteWe - members of the Yonkers Bike Club - have been riding to the Stone Barn for several years and have regularly argued with them about their absurd bike policies - "cars allowed but bikes may scare the horses." What horses! We're scarier than cars?? We met with their site manager to tell them how ridiculous the policy is. Got no results - so yes - we also ignore the rule and ride to the cafe and parking lot. We encourage others to to do likewise if they visit this hip farm-to-table cafe/restaurant (if you have the cash to burn). Perhaps the environmental advantages of bikes over cars - duh!! - will finally kick in with these fancy gentleman farmers.
Bill D.
I am always blown away by the internet’s unsolicited advice. Anonymous unsolicited advice is just the best kind. Why would Snob need a different all around bike? The Milwaukee is perfect for his paved preferences, and the newly Jonesed Marin is a fine all rounder for dirt and mixed terrain. And tires, FFS people, the new/old preference for wide rims is not a critical need. Mtb XC folk rode 50mm or bigger tires on 13mm rims for at least a decade, and most did not die in horrible tire accidents. I rode cut down Bonty Mavics and panaracer Smokes hard and clumsy-like for probably 8 years. A narrow rim might need a couple extra psi, otherwise go ride ya bike.
ReplyDeleteBill Dennison,
ReplyDeleteI emailed them about it and they said rhey're reviewing the policy this fall and have placed a bike rack near the parking lot. Hopefully they're coming around.
--Wildcat Etc.
Horses are dumb as shit. Just the most brain-dead animals that will, if allowed, simply kill themselves out of stupidity. They will eat themselves to death or drink themselves to death on occasion.
ReplyDeleteNo animal should be that big and be that stupid, but they are.
It's actually totally reasonable to believe that they could be spooked much more easily from bicycles then cars because once they get used to being around automobiles they can hear them coming. But with bicycles being nearly silent having something rushing up from behind would trigger their instincts.
Mind you these are animals so stupid that the cripple and kill people because they forget somebody is there once that person wonders around behind them and leaves the horse's peripheral vision... and then one the person touches them or the horse turns it's head and notice somebody behind them they get surprised and kick backwards at them. Happens all the time.
This is something that could be fixed by having bicyclists have a jingle bell or some other noise maker, probably. And will have the same issue with electric cars.
Riding with no underpants, in tights, with shaved legs is a sexual orientation I don't subscribe to.
ReplyDeleteAlso I don't shart on hard ascents so don't need sewn in diapers either.
"Riding with no underpants, in tights, with shaved legs is a sexual orientation I don't subscribe to."
ReplyDeleteBut what if you meet somebody special at the coffee shop, and you two hit it off?
My dog informs me that "no shirt, no shoes, no Cervelo" is a thing.
ReplyDeleteI didn't ask him what kind of thing.
Sorry I'm late - I was making eye contact with a driverless car
ReplyDeleteOn bike clothing - as with life, generalities are bullshit. 90% of my riding is utilitarian - mostly commuting with a few errands sprinkled in - When it's warm enough for shorts I go lycra for all types of rides because my gene pool involves large thighs, so the silly form-fitting clothes are more comfortable.
I'd prefer to be more comfortable in non-lycra shorts because lycra shorts look ridiculous, but they are more comfortable and I generally don't care what I look like so I wear the clown clothes (and slip on some MTN bike shorts before parading through my place of employ on the way to the shower)
Does anyone know of an aluminum road frame made for medium-reach sidepull brakes?
ReplyDelete