Tuesday, May 2, 2017

A short post almost entirely about me.

It's Bike Month, everybody!


That means it's time for Bike Expo New York!


Which in turn means it's time for me to hang around at the Walz booth pushin' caps!


Not only is Bike Expo New York free, but it's also your opportunity to hoard like a year's worth of free energy food samples (mmmm, can you say "Chia Squeeze?").  Just make sure you take a break from glomming and schnorring and swing by the Walz booth between 10am and 12pm on Saturday, May 6th, which is when I'll be there.

In other news of me, I graciously offered a piece of my jenious to Outside magazine recently:


While CDOT’s judges deliberate, we went ahead and asked 11 of the brightest minds in the bike industry what they would do to make U.S. cities better, safer, and smarter for the two-wheeled crowd. Here’s what they had to say.

Yeah, that's right.  I'm one of the bike industry's "sharpest minds:"


This according to the same publication that said you should "throw your rim brakes in the trash."

By the way, I feel I should offer a little backstory on that photo.  You may be wondering why I'm sitting on top of a picnic table in full Fred gear next to a rather incongruous retrogrouch sleigh.  Well, back in 2009 I visited Portland in order to pen this Pulitzer-worthy article for the very same publication:


The editor who commissioned the piece was a Portland denizen, and during my stay we went for a ride together.  When you're riding with people for the first time it's always interesting to see how people turn up, and in this case I showed up in full Fred gear astride the versatile yet aesthetically-challenged Ironic Orange Julius Bike, which served dual duty during my stay as urban runabout and irreverent SSCXWC chariot.  My editor, on the other hand, showed up in the sort of wool ensemble you'd expect to find atop a classy sport-touring/randonneuring/whatever-you-call-it bicycle complete with canvas handlebar bag like the one above.

Anyway, together we made for Forest Park, and at one point we switched bikes for a bit, which is when the above photo was taken.

All of this is a long way of saying I may be a sartorial disgrace, but even I would not have chosen that outfit to ride that bicycle.

Oh, he also took a picture of me playing bike polo in the interest of research:


I'm gonna go ahead and lie and say I curated that facial hair so I could go undercover in Portland and that it's not how I usually looked at the time.

Speaking of bike polo, have you ever wondered who invented it?  No?  Me neither.  Nevertheless I found out by accident and wrote about it in the Bike Forecast.

So there you go.

33 comments:

  1. Wow. Unexpected podium here.

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  2. You pooped die yummy in ya mouth

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  3. You shared bikes with him? Then you're brothers

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  4. Scranus. I got nothing. May as well squeeze into the top ten.

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  5. The early bird in England catches the Cipo's worm.

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  6. Despite having been dead for sixteen years I was very concerned about the effect the Civil War was having on the Red Hook Crit.

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  7. Bottom pull brakes, what fun to work on.

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  8. It's odd that anyone would ask you how to make cycling safer when you've said things like wearing helmets makes riders crash harder.

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  9. Dear Mr. BSNYC --

    I assured my dog that notwithstanding your who invented bike polo piece, his piece on Citibike Surf Board Water Polo would still be timely.

    At Bike Expo, can you introduce him to the executive team at Walz? He wants to discuss a line of woolen swim caps.

    I don't mean to brag, but he let me in on the first five rounds of financing to establish his lifestyle consultant brand.

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  10. Dear Mr. Anon 10:33 AM -

    My dog wishes to note that your observation does not support an inference that helmet use preserves/curates gray matter.

    I'm not sure what he means by that.


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  11. If you ride somebody else's bike, then that's basically rubbing your scranus against their scranus and every scranus they've ever rubbed their scranus against.

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  12. Anonymous 10:33am,

    Actually it's not really strange at all, unless you're one of those brainwashing victims whose brain has been replaced with EPS foam.

    --Wildcat Etc.

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  13. Are you doing a speaking thing at the expo, Wildcat? Or is just the Walz booth for you?

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  14. Digital UndergroundMay 2, 2017 at 11:52 AM

    The Humpty Dance is your chance to do the hump
    Do the Humpty Hump, come on and do the Humpty Hump
    Do the Humpty Hump, just watch me do the Humpty Hump
    Do ya know what I'm doin', doin' the Humpty Hump
    Do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump

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  15. Duh! Insist on total editorial control at all times!

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  16. Nice GOT HAM jersey. Good thing you're not a practicing person of the jewishway.

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  17. Mmmm, can't wait to have my family's picnic on the table that soaked up your ass-sweat soaked chamois drippings.

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  18. hey, where's Maria? AKA WCL - "walz cap lady" - now there is some bearded carny in a hat i can;t bear to look at..

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  19. Lieutenant ObliviousMay 2, 2017 at 3:13 PM

    Someone I rode with a couple of times about 10 years ago died last week from some kind of bike-auto crash. I haven't been able to find any details yet, but I am certain he was wearing a helmet and it didn't do squat against 2 tons of steel.

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  20. Where does the Bike New Expo York take place?

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  21. I have seen the greatest minds of my generation destroyed by foam. And foam byproducts.

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  22. Re: "brainwashing victims whose brain has been replaced with EPS foam."

    Has WCRM leaked the first details of the next round of industry tech?

    EPS foam brains, drop three pounds of useless weight and increase safety!
    Now with integrated electronic shifting control!

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  23. You know those Polo by Ralph Lauren shirts with the little polo player graphic? There could be a bike polo version...

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  24. vsk said ...


    www.ferry.nyc

    Can't wait to try this ...


    vsk

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  25. red hook clit

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  26. wildcat in outside? now i don't know what to believe!

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  27. bad boy of the soothMay 3, 2017 at 7:14 AM

    Aww! I'm missing bike expo this year.enjoy the show.

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  28. >JLRB said...
    >Where does the Bike New Expo York take place?

    Bike Expo New York 2017

    Free & Open to public
    May 5 (10AM-8PM)
    May 6 (9AM-6PM)
    Pier 36 at Basketball City (299 South Street, Manhattan)

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