Friday, January 22, 2016

BSUSA Friday Fun Quiz!

Pro bicycle racing is pretty easy to ignore here in North America, but it's especially easy to ignore the Tour Down Under, which happens in the middle of the winter in the middle of the night.  However, every so often some news bubbles up this way in the form of a delightful little info-burp, such as this one about The Fred Who Saved The Day by lending Tyler Farrar his bike:


With no team car anywhere near him and the neutral service vehicle already passed, Tooman wheeled his AU$6,000 ($3,000) De Rosa Protos over to the American to see if he wanted to borrow a wheel.

“He said ‘na, a wheel is not going to cut it’,” Tooman told the Adelaide Advertiser.

“Then it went to ‘well, what pedals are you running?’ He was on Speedplay and I was on Shimano, and as soon as that was decided it was just ‘well you might as well just take everything’.

“Then the next question was ‘what size shoe are you?’

“He was a size 43 and I’m a 44, so we swapped shoes, he jumped on my bike, we gave him some water and seeya later.”

What Tooman's story omits is that Farrar's kit was also badly torn in the crash, and in addition to the bike and the shoes he had to borrow Tooman's wardrobe as well.  "What size shorts are those?  What kind of chamois cream do you use?"  And so forth.

“I think if anything, he’s a very approachable, humble guy and the whole team are I’d say.”

No offense to Farrar and his team, but why shouldn't they be approachable and humble?  They're pro bike racers.  On the celebrity scale that's a notch below local TV news meteorologist.


Speaking of meteorology, apparently there's a blizzard heading this way and we're all going to die.


(Shoulda wore a hat.)

Therefore, after taking my seventeen (17) children to the school bus stop I hopped on the ol' WorkCycles to get the proverbial "bread and milk:"


Only to find that the shifter was frozen in the lowest gear:


This is the second time this has happened in the past couple of weeks, and it's only manifest itself recently since until now it's been unseasonably warm all winter.  (You know, global warming we're all gonna die yadda yadda.)  Clearly at some point I need to conduct a thorough examination and figure out exactly what's freezing where, but much more likely what I'll do is spray the shit out of it with WD-40 or similar and hope for the best.

In the meantime though I had to Get The Bread And Milk before the White Death started to fall from the sky, and so I rode to and from the grocery store in my lowest gear, which made riding to and from the mountain bike trails on my artisanal singlespeed as I've been doing all week feel like pushing a 53x11 in comparison.

Still, better to be iced into the lowest gear than the highest, since I live on a pretty steep hill and climbing up it with a saddlebag full of groceries really would have sucked.

In other news, Bicycling are into long-reach (or medium-reach) road brakes all of a sudden:


The most common styles of rim-brake road bike in shops today, and the bikes most often reviewed by Bicycling, use short-reach brake calipers. Short-reach calipers are smaller, so they can be lighter and stiffer, and they look minimalist and sleek.

But short-reach calipers limit tire clearance to about 28mm without fenders; with full-coverage fenders, you've got about 23mm—and that's if you can squeeze those fenders in. Even mainstream Classics/endurance-style bikes like the Cannondale Synapse, Trek Domane, and Specialized Roubaix are designed for short-reach brakes.

I positively adore the medium-reach brakes on my Milwaukee:


Indeed, in a logical universe this is how every road bike would be sold.  So why is Bicycling only talking them up now?  Well, according to them it's because they're "rare:"

The bikes are rare, and so are the brakes. Here are most of the options that exist. In approximately 47 to 57mm reach: Shimano’s BR-650 ($140/pair) and BR-451 ($70/pair), the beautiful Velo-Orange Grand Cru Long Reach Brakeset ($180/pair), TRP’s RG957 ($180/pair), Tektro’s R539($70/pair) and R737($80/pair), and IRD’s B57 ($100/pair).

In 57-plus millimeter reach, there is the IRD B67 ($80/pair), and Tektro R559 ($80/pair). The old school Dia Compe DC810 (61 to 79mm) is around, too, but does not provide the performance of a more modern design. Crazy as it seems, Nashbar has a 40 to 60mm-reach caliper for $40 per set.

Really?  A style of brake sold by multiple companies and in a wide range of prices is rare?

No, the real reason is that now that disc brakes have officially taken over and everyone's already bought in, Bicycling no longer have to hide the existence of these simple and inexpensive brakes from their Fredly audience.  In fact, they're so audacious that they're even admitting that this whole "gravel bike" thing is basically a marketing gimmick:

Honestly, I feel that we’ve done a poor job of highlighting bikes with longer-reach brakes. They're very practical, versatile, and completely in step with the trend towards comfort and exploration that's shown in the recent proliferation of endurance bikes and gravel bikes. A bike with long-reach brakes is simple, light, easy to maintain; it handles and feels like a “normal” road bike. Modern rim brake performance is very good, so I’m not ready to sweep longer reach brakes into the dustbin of history just yet.

Maybe next they'll actually admit in print that press-fit bottom brackets suck.

Lastly, meet the AIRSUPPLY™:


Which is endorsed by none other than the guy who put on Woodstock:


So what is it?  Well, it turns your saddle into a pump or something:


Or else it's a pneumatically-activated dropper post that only works when you're trackstanding, I'm not quite sure:


And now I'm pleased to present you with a quiz.  As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer.  If you're right that's positively fantastic, and if you're wrong you'll see reason #1,406 to not bother riding indoors.

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and be sure to hop in an SUV and engage in last-minute panic shopping before snow brings the earth to its knees.


--Wildcat Rock Machine





1) The Spurcycle artisanal bell looks like:

--An eyeball
--A mammary
--A phallus
--All of the above






2) 27.5 is to 650b as*:

--29 is to 700c
--12 is to a dozen
--Taint is to scranus
--All of the above

*[Please leave your detailed comments as to why all these things are not exactly analogous in the comment section of some other blog.]







3) Which is not a purported reason "so many cyclists love to hate Rapha?"

--It is expensive
--It is "all about style"
--It is the uniform of "new" cyclists
--It is manufactured using prison labor






4) Fill in the blank: "Fuck _____"

--Taxes
--Taxis
--Texas
--Textings







5) Evidently people still play bike polo.

--True
--False






6) By the time we got to Woodstock:

--We were half a million strong
--Everywhere there was song and celebration
--I dreamed I saw the bombers jet planes riding shotgun in the sky
--Both my tires were flat





7) The latest flavor from Gu proves what we've all suspected for years, which is that it's just rebranded toothpaste and facial scrubs.

--True
--False



***Special "Coming Attractions"-Themed Bonus Video!***