A Short Spin To Loosen The Legs Before Wednesday

Dude!

Tech bros are totally gonna disrupt your lock!


Hey, don't worry about what happens when it's raining or freezing cold.  It works like one of those claw machines and that's all that matters:

And may I interest you in some wonky chainrings to go with that?



At first glance you may think these are no different from the so-called "Rotor Q Rings" so popular with the Speed-Fred set:

But if you look more closely you can see these are a good 47% wonkier--so much so that it looks less like a crankset and more like a hedgehog with a giant boner:

So how does this translate into performance, and what are the benefits of Wonk-Drive™?

Well, nobody knows for sure, but it's based on SCIENCE!

It also takes your load better:

Which is why this guy uses them:

By the way, this marks the 10,000th Cipollini reference on this blog, so knock off work early today, head to your local happy hour, and buy yourself a drink on me:

Just present the above to a bartender and enjoy a shot of the bottom-shelf liquor of your choosing.

Indeed, between the free drink and the wonky rings, you should be very excited by now:

Lastly, remember when millennials weren't buying cars anymore and we were at the dawn of an enlightened urbanist future in which everyone lived in cities and rode bicycles and public transit to get around?

Well, no.  In fact, we're at the cusp of the biggest year for car sales in American history:

A number of global auto makers are similarly optimistic on demand in the U.S., where car sales are surging on strong consumer confidence and low fuel prices, putting the market on track for what could be its strongest annual showing in history. 

What's more, as rising rents mean only the rich can live in cities with robust public transit and bike infrastructure, it appears "Fuck it, I'm leasing a Hyundai" (or a Subaru) may remain a rallying cry for the foreseeable future.