Optimism is Just Pretentious Denial

Did you know that bicycles and the riding of them can bring everyone together, solve all the world's differences, and end global conflict forever?

Sure, why not?

On a tandem sitting together are Rabbi Daniel Alter and Imam Ferid Heider, both cyclists themselves and who work together promoting peace and understanding through their project meet2respect.

We believe this unusual motif should not be unusual. And to bring home the message, there will be a "Cycling Unites" Critical Mass tour at the end of the BERLIN BICYCLE WEEK, where 3 tandems, each with an Imam and a Rabbi, will ride together with hundreds of supporters to jointly set an example for tolerance, diversity, and the right for everyone to live (and ride ) in peace.

The campaign will start running next week across Berlin.  The link to the Critical Mass: https://www.facebook.com/events/976789308999296/

image: Tino Pohlmann Fotografie / GREY Berlin

I think it's an inspiring image--though not to be picky, but I'd have leavened it with a little more hope:

My faith in humanity is now restored...

...until the next time I look at the newspaper.

Speaking of unity and world peace and reading the newspaper, North Korea cordially invites you to run a marathon in beautiful Pyongang:

BEIJING — Foreigners wanting to compete in the Pyongyang marathon next month can now sign up since North Korea reopened its borders this week after a four-month closing over Ebola fears.

North Korea closed its borders because they were afraid of Ebola?  Please.  Even Ebola doesn't want to go to North Korea.

("North Korea?  Fuck that!")

Though if you did run a North Korean marathon you could make a video of your subsequent arrest and torture (provided they take place at night) and submit it to Knog's film competition, which they've asked me to share with you:

There's over $15,000 worth of prizes up for grabs, with the winner walking away with a prize valued at $10,000 and there are heaps of chances to win. The winning videos will be screened globally (in 7 different countries over 24hours) as part of the No Ordinary Night film festival on 6th June. All people need to do is film their #NoOrdinaryNight adventures for a chance to win.

Please note that your film must be shot at night, which makes my submission completely ineligible:



Sweet Rabbi and Imam on a Tandem, it hurts to look at that!  What's better than riding mountain bikes in the fall?  Well, various things, but it's still pretty damn pleasant.  Meanwhile, it's snowing on us yet again as I type this, and the winter is clearly pushing people to the very edge of sanity:



If only this was shot at night then they could have submitted it to the Knog film contest.

Well, at least this one is probably eligible:


No ordinary night indeed.

As for me, I refuse to ride indoors.  Instead, I prefer to spend cold winter days drinking beer and getting interviewed for cycling websites:

I drank two pints of Gun Hill Brewing Co. something-or-other during the course of our chat and my tolerance isn't what it once was, so it was very kind of him to edit out the part where I revealed all my childhood traumas and then collapsed sobbing in my mac and cheese.  Also, the place where we met does happen to be one of my favorite spots in the city geographically speaking, and here's my bike parked right nearby:

When I stumbled out two hours later a polar bear was attempting to steal it.

In any case, I know it's been a long winter because yesterday evening I found myself in Target and came this close [indicates tiny distance with fingers] to buying a fat bike:

To the layperson it might appear that the fork is on backwards, but those of us in the know understand that Target is marketing this bike to true connoisseurs and they did this on purpose to show that you can do barspinzzz on it:

Plus, as far as bicycle mechanics go, I have more confidence in Target than I have in Andy Schleck, who plans to open a shop:

"The store will not only be a lobby with bikes that will be on display," Schleck told the website. "We want to give great importance to the service. I want to transfer to the customer service my skills and my athletic experience."

Really?  He'll focus on service?  This is ironic considering Schleck is most famous for losing the yellow jersey due to a mechanical problem:



In retropsect, I'm amazed Phil Liggett managed to narrate all that drama and excitement without uttering a single racial slur.  ("He's got a bit of a Jew in the drivetrain, eh Paul?")

Also, Schleck's shop (say that ten times fast!) will have a café:

Along with the bike shop, the article states that Schleck wants to open an adjoining café.

If his cooking is as good as his mechanical skills then you'll be leaving with a stomach full of anger.

Be sure to bring some Imodium.