Tuesday, January 20, 2015

This Just In: I'm Going On Maternity Leave!


(The stork preparing to deliver a bundle of both joy and racism in Disney's dated and off-putting 1941 classic, "Dumbo.")

I am very pleased to report that over the holiday weekend our family welcomed a brand-new human child.  This means we now have eighteen (18) children, or two (2), depending on how you count.  This also means that I'll be exercising my contractually guaranteed right to maternity leave (the Blogger's Union fought long and hard for this), and will hereby be extending my absence to Monday, January 26th, at which point I'll resume regular updates.

That should be enough time to trade in the Big Dummy for a bakfiets:



Or else just a Canyonero.

In the meantime, thanks for indulging my absence (or, if you choose not to grant me indulgence, you know where you can stick your lack thereof), and I look forward to seeing you back here on the 26th.

Sincerently,


--Wildcat Rock Machine



at

213 comments:

  1. Feodor VassilyevJanuary 20, 2015 at 8:27 AM

    Mazel tov.

    I hope mother and child are resting comfortable.

    And you will find the parental work load from 1 to 2 goes up at least 4 times.

    2 to 3, and you and the misses have to drop back into a zone.

    More then 3, just give up and start drinking.

    ReplyDelete
  2. McFlyJanuary 20, 2015 at 8:28 AM

    Where are my podium fluffers?

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousJanuary 20, 2015 at 8:37 AM

    CONG RATS




    POOD UMMM

    ReplyDelete
  4. Christopher James "Chris" ChristieJanuary 20, 2015 at 8:37 AM

    "...eighteen (18) children, or two (2), depending on how you count."

    There are 3 kinds on people in this world; those who can count and those who can't

    ReplyDelete
  5. wheelman61January 20, 2015 at 8:37 AM

    Snob
    Congrats to mom and yourself. Looking forward to your return

    ReplyDelete
  6. dopJanuary 20, 2015 at 8:44 AM

    Congratulations. Will you call him/her martin/martine?

    I think it goes one child changes your life, two makes you organized, three makes you wonder what the fuss was all about I never went to level three. Daddy made a trip to the vet.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Jon WebbJanuary 20, 2015 at 8:44 AM

    Alhamdulillah!

    ReplyDelete
  8. AnonymousJanuary 20, 2015 at 8:46 AM

    congratulations on your human child. Just as well it wasn't a velociraptor.!

    ReplyDelete
  9. bad boy of the northJanuary 20, 2015 at 8:48 AM

    congratulation to snob,ms.snob and to all the little snobbies.welcome to the world,little one.

    ReplyDelete
  10. bad boy of the northJanuary 20, 2015 at 8:49 AM

    oh....and in the first group.

    ReplyDelete
  11. samuelJanuary 20, 2015 at 8:51 AM

    ya know, when my kids were born I didn't take a brake from blogging. Of course I did take a break from the job that I had, so whatevs. Maybe now is a good time to add to your wealth by designing a line of BSNYC clothing for infants and toddlers. Maybe some pastel, gender neutral colorways.

    ReplyDelete
  12. bad boy of the northJanuary 20, 2015 at 8:54 AM

    if I see one more selfie stick on the brooklyn bridge,i'm going to...

    ReplyDelete
  13. Buffalo BillJanuary 20, 2015 at 8:56 AM

    Congrats Mr Snob.

    What, no cigars?

    ReplyDelete
  14. AnonymousJanuary 20, 2015 at 9:03 AM

    mazel tov!

    ReplyDelete
  15. recumbent conspiracy theoristJanuary 20, 2015 at 9:03 AM

    Hey Congrats Old man!

    No problem on the no cigars. I gave up burning the tobacco so I'll puff my nicotine vaporizer in the kid's honor.

    ReplyDelete
  16. AnonymousJanuary 20, 2015 at 9:04 AM

    Congratulations!
    My daughter is pregnant and I'm getting schooled on how much things have changed in the raising-baby thing.
    The stroller we used cost maybe 14$ and folded up like an umbrella. When the kid slumped over we stuffed towels around him/her to make him/her upright.
    When they were cranky or when Mom and I wanted some alone time, we'd put them in the dryer.
    Seemed to work just fine.
    Good luck, happy for your and your Bride.
    Best wishes.

    ReplyDelete
  17. JBJanuary 20, 2015 at 9:05 AM

    Enjoy!

    ReplyDelete
  18. A.J.January 20, 2015 at 9:14 AM

    Congratulations, Snob!

    ReplyDelete
  19. AnonymousJanuary 20, 2015 at 9:37 AM

    No need to thank me. A short list of suggested names for the new Baby Snob:
    Schwinn
    Hipster
    Beer
    Curie
    Erich
    Snobette
    Lance
    White
    Re-run
    Brooklyn
    Tour De
    Ballast

    ReplyDelete
  20. UnknownJanuary 20, 2015 at 9:39 AM

    Mazel Tov and blessings to you all!!

    ReplyDelete
  21. babble onJanuary 20, 2015 at 9:43 AM

    Yay!! Contratulations, Mr and Mrs, and WELCOME, little tiny baby Snob! That's great news... enjoy your family time, Snobi Wan!

    Didja get a present for the other seventeen kidlets "from the baby?" Mine had such a gap between 'em, it would have been silly, but they say it works a charm.

    ReplyDelete
  22. BryanJanuary 20, 2015 at 9:43 AM

    Congrats to all! And isn't it paternity leave, not maternity? Well, either way in just a few short years you have another person to make caps and jerseys in your sweatshop...er, basement.

    ReplyDelete
  23. babble onJanuary 20, 2015 at 9:46 AM

    Oh! OHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!! Inquiring minds want to know! Baby boy, or baby girl, or are you going to do that whole (gak!!) Gender Reveal party in a few months time?

    ReplyDelete
  24. AnonymousJanuary 20, 2015 at 9:48 AM

    A few more names (if you did not like any on the last list):
    Paris Roubaix
    Maillot Jaune
    L'alp D'huez
    Cassette
    Alley Cat
    Engin
    Green Way
    Citi Bike

    ReplyDelete
  25. NJRoadieJanuary 20, 2015 at 9:48 AM

    Congrats! Tha pants yabbies work!

    ReplyDelete
  26. Serial RetrogrouchJanuary 20, 2015 at 9:52 AM

    ...What everyone else said.

    ...this means you are one human child shy of having the status child.

    ...and you def need a backfeets now.

    ...matzaballs inshallah!!!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Joe K.January 20, 2015 at 9:54 AM

    Congrats Snob. Enjoy every moment. My youngest just turned one and my oldest will be 7 next week. It's ridiculous how quickly the time goes.

    I am not a robot, I have emotions and empathy.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Benjamin Chertoff ImagesJanuary 20, 2015 at 10:01 AM

    Congratulations!!!

    ReplyDelete
  29. AnonymousJanuary 20, 2015 at 10:17 AM

    OH! OH!!! BEST SNOB BABY NAME EVER!!!!

    Sheldon Brown

    ReplyDelete
  30. AnonymousJanuary 20, 2015 at 10:18 AM

    How about "Not A. Snob" for the baby's name?

    ReplyDelete
  31. McFlyJanuary 20, 2015 at 10:20 AM

    DB,
    You SHOULD NOT put babies in the dryer.

    FYI the bakefiets link has one nice Scandanavian MILF image on it.

    It's something.

    ReplyDelete
  32. P. BatemanJanuary 20, 2015 at 10:21 AM

    Congrats to you sir.

    Very surprising that after all the bikeen and all the sitting on your ass that you'd have any swimmers left.

    well, good luck with all them there chi'dr'n. better you than me. i love them for about 30 minutes max and then immediately want to hand them back to their owners.

    maybe i AM a robot and just dont have this human "emotion" like real people.


    ReplyDelete
  33. SpokeyJanuary 20, 2015 at 10:37 AM

    congrats snobbie

    i see many good names suggested.

    but to honor the past, the new urchin's name must be Vito

    ReplyDelete
  34. SpokeyJanuary 20, 2015 at 10:44 AM

    db

    congrats to your daughter too. you find it is fun even if you find those car seats to now be hundreds of dollars more than you spent (if you actually had car seats) and impossible to work.

    but what they say about doting grandparents is true. they are all fools. but they have their revenge. the first blow up thing that was large enough to take over princess' living room was great. like a ball pit. even better was buying several hundred extra balls for it.

    just wait till the urchin get to Lego age.

    ReplyDelete
  35. AnonymousJanuary 20, 2015 at 10:52 AM

    We had a car seat, but it'd definitely be illegal now.
    I recall my car seat growing up.... My Mom would slam on the brakes, fling her cigarette out the window and swing her arm across my chest to keep me from flying through the window.

    ReplyDelete
  36. AnonymousJanuary 20, 2015 at 10:54 AM

    vsk said ...

    Congratulations Mr. + Mrs. Snob!

    I hope you got her a nice push present (as I've heard them described!).

    Funny scene in Paddington Bear (don't ask me how I know this!) when the father to be brings the wife to the hospital to deliver and when he picks her up a couple of hours later. With kiddies, you will see this I'm sure.

    Best of luck, I am going to use the subway that I do not own.

    vsk

    ReplyDelete
  37. grogJanuary 20, 2015 at 10:54 AM

    So, you've been doing more than just pedling your biek, eh?
    You'll be breastfeeding this one too?
    BABY #TWO

    ReplyDelete
  38. The Robot EngineerJanuary 20, 2015 at 10:56 AM

    Congratulations.
    The second child is easier in many ways because most of the experiences are old hat. However, no two children are alike, so you'll probably be in for some adventures.

    ReplyDelete
  39. AnonymousJanuary 20, 2015 at 10:56 AM

    The baby's name?

    Vito and pretty good choice but I think Cleveland is better.

    ReplyDelete
  40. GrumpJanuary 20, 2015 at 11:12 AM

    My first kid's car seat had a steering wheel and the only thing that held it in was a hook that fit under the back of the front seat.
    Another week off?......I demand a refund.
    Back in the day, It was the wimminz who took care of the new kid, and left the men-folk free to do what they want.

    ReplyDelete
  41. wishiwasmerckxJanuary 20, 2015 at 11:21 AM

    A heartfelt congratulations.

    Perhaps you should take this opportunity to finally get around to changing your name from "Weiss" to the more inclusive and politically-correct "Schwartz," because black lives matter, too...

    ReplyDelete
  42. wishiwasmerckxJanuary 20, 2015 at 11:23 AM

    I wish that we could organize a series of guest-posts to while away the time, but that is difficult to do without imposing on our gracious and busy host.

    ReplyDelete
  43. AnonymousJanuary 20, 2015 at 11:23 AM

    How about Brooks for an name? Untermyer?

    ReplyDelete
  44. AnonymousJanuary 20, 2015 at 11:25 AM

    BMX?
    Free Wheel?

    ReplyDelete
  45. balls™January 20, 2015 at 11:26 AM

    I'm thinking the best name for this kid would be "Pabst Budnitz Snobbers". Or, you could go with just one name and call him/her Bansky. Either would be fun, and you're not listening to me anyway! (who would, with a name like Balls?)

    Anyway, congratulations and good luck making it through the next 4-6 weeks!

    ReplyDelete
  46. AnonymousJanuary 20, 2015 at 11:30 AM

    Good idea, WIWM
    I am computer illiterate so I am out as guest blogger.
    Perhaps one of you youngins can entertain us while Snob is painting the baby's bedroom?

    ReplyDelete
  47. JBJanuary 20, 2015 at 11:31 AM

    "Gender Reveal party" after the kid is born? Kill me now.

    McFly: "It's something." When we something of interest in the wild, we'll say to the other, "Is that something?"

    ReplyDelete
  48. Bill CrowderJanuary 20, 2015 at 11:35 AM

    Congrats to your wife Snob. Another human child future Cat 5 competitor. Now get back to work so you can feed the kids.

    ReplyDelete
  49. Verona & StevilJanuary 20, 2015 at 11:38 AM

    Some one should ask us to do a guest post here while Mr. Snob in busy elsewhere. We both write the same guest post at the same time.

    ReplyDelete
  50. JLRBJanuary 20, 2015 at 11:42 AM

    Woo hoo hoo!

    Name choice is SO obvious - Fred.

    Now that you have two children I am sorry to report that you will no longer be eligible for those awkward pauses in conversation when parents of multiple children ask how many brothers and sisters your child has - but you are now eligible to deliver that shocked response when someone else has only one child.

    ReplyDelete
  51. JLRBJanuary 20, 2015 at 11:44 AM

    Or Charlie

    aka Jesus-Chuck

    ReplyDelete
  52. Snidely Whiplash aka Bill BelichickJanuary 20, 2015 at 11:45 AM

    Great News, Congratulations. There may be under inflated balls in New England, but obviously not in NYC.

    Boy name: Rob in honor of you know who.
    Girl name: Pope in honor of Babble.

    gak!! Had a GF who made that sound sort of like that every once in a while, sometimes like a metronome.

    ReplyDelete
  53. AnonymousJanuary 20, 2015 at 11:45 AM

    Congratulations but only one week off? It is Australia Day on Monday 26th down here Canada's smelly socks, surely you will enjoy that public holiday as well?!

    Don't want to give parental advice because apparently I am a shitty one for wanting to ride my bike too much.

    ReplyDelete
  54. GreySpokeJanuary 20, 2015 at 11:46 AM

    Congrats!

    ReplyDelete
  55. AnonymousJanuary 20, 2015 at 11:52 AM

    Anon 11:23.
    Agree with Brooks, they are paying the parental leave aren't they? Read the fine print of your contractual agreement, you may have no choice! Is it a gender neutral name?

    ReplyDelete
  56. NameJanuary 20, 2015 at 11:54 AM

    The list of names is totally dorktastic!!

    ReplyDelete
  57. mikewebJanuary 20, 2015 at 11:56 AM

    Confabulations Snob!!

    And you're a better man than I: I would've taken at least 2 weeks off.

    ReplyDelete
  58. AnonymousJanuary 20, 2015 at 11:59 AM

    Hey, Crosspalms:
    We should combine our REI credit dollars and get a baby gift.
    Box of Clif Bars?

    ReplyDelete
  59. McFlyJanuary 20, 2015 at 12:03 PM

    For us the second child was much less hassle because......well shit.....where is she at?

    HUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNYYYYY HAVE YOU SEEN THAT OTHER ONE?"

    ReplyDelete
  60. AnonymousJanuary 20, 2015 at 12:12 PM

    Congrats on Arlo Thomas Weiss born January 18th, 7lbs 14oz.

    "Mrs Snob" is a public facebook type

    ReplyDelete
  61. TomJanuary 20, 2015 at 12:13 PM

    Big Congratulations!

    Ours is 10 months old and we are back to 'hell no never again" after a very rewarding several months of "this isn't so bad maybe we could have a 2nd", which was of course preceded by parenting phase 1, being "what the fuck have we done?". Sincere best wishes! May there be many naps.

    ReplyDelete
  62. crosspalmsJanuary 20, 2015 at 12:16 PM

    For the next few months, just call him/her Eric/Erica the Complainer. After he/she starts giving you a little peace a better name will probably come to mind. Congratulations! And let us know whether that Dick Tracy watch played any role.

    DB, I like that idea.

    ReplyDelete
  63. AnonymousJanuary 20, 2015 at 12:17 PM

    Hey anonymous 12:12, that's kinda shitty and definitely creepy of you. Check yourself. Nice name though.

    ReplyDelete
  64. philadelphia bicycle journalJanuary 20, 2015 at 12:25 PM

    Mazel Tov. I hope you have created a Strava account for your child so it is old enough to start riding with you they can the youngest KOM.

    ReplyDelete
  65. dopJanuary 20, 2015 at 12:26 PM

    No naming the child Scranus. Jr High is hard enough as it is. Also, very limited choices when rhyming.

    ReplyDelete
  66. Septima VectorJanuary 20, 2015 at 12:28 PM

    7lbs 14oz

    714 is a notable number in 20th century Americana. It is:
    a. Career home runs hit by Babe Ruth.
    b. Joe Friday’s badge number
    c. Finally this.

    ReplyDelete
  67. AnonymousJanuary 20, 2015 at 12:30 PM

    I like Arlo.
    Good name.
    Sending it to my daughter for possible future use.

    ReplyDelete
  68. AnonymousJanuary 20, 2015 at 12:32 PM

    Congrats to mom!

    Another kid means 5 more years of Snobby day care. Good for us! Two more years and I get to be a house husband too.

    cycle

    ReplyDelete
  69. AnonymousJanuary 20, 2015 at 12:33 PM

    What name were you considering if baby was a female version?

    ReplyDelete
  70. dnkJanuary 20, 2015 at 12:36 PM

    Snob, well-wishes to you and family.

    Now don't you worry about a thing while we trash the place in your absence....

    ReplyDelete
  71. Bike JunkieJanuary 20, 2015 at 12:36 PM

    Congrats on the new human!

    ReplyDelete
  72. gregarioJanuary 20, 2015 at 12:41 PM

    Sheldon? Did no one see When Harry Met Sally?

    More names:
    Epic ("Ed" in Canada's scranus)
    Allez ("Al" in Canada's scranus)
    Roubaix "Ruby"

    Middle names:
    Shiv
    Venge
    Crux

    And then start a bicycling blog. When Sinyard's lawyers sue you to Cease and Desist, only the child will be mentally scarred and the Specialized lawyer moves onto the next bicycle industry victim.

    Seems like a good idea. Who's with me?

    ReplyDelete
  73. Twob RakeJanuary 20, 2015 at 12:50 PM

    Well done to all the Snob family.
    Worth it to get that Canyonero video.

    (Names: Eddy or Bilko)

    ReplyDelete
  74. ken e.January 20, 2015 at 12:53 PM

    happy birthday! i did like cassette...

    ReplyDelete
  75. AnonymousJanuary 20, 2015 at 12:56 PM

    Typical union move to anounce a maternity leave after a three day weekend!

    ReplyDelete
  76. AnonymousJanuary 20, 2015 at 1:11 PM

    As gubner Walker said, "Molotov!"

    ReplyDelete
  77. CharlieJanuary 20, 2015 at 1:13 PM

    The name will be Mario (as in Cipo).

    You will be a grandfather in no time.

    ReplyDelete
  78. Comment deletedJanuary 20, 2015 at 1:17 PM

    Yay! Smart people are reproducing!

    ReplyDelete
  79. hellbellyJanuary 20, 2015 at 1:21 PM

    Mazel Tov!

    ReplyDelete
  80. asantoneJanuary 20, 2015 at 1:22 PM

    Congratulations on the birth of your child. Much happiness!

    ReplyDelete
  81. BamaPhredJanuary 20, 2015 at 1:25 PM

    I'll add my congratulations!

    ReplyDelete
  82. TweedJanuary 20, 2015 at 1:26 PM

    Hmmmm with the extra time on my hands during lunch for the next week maybe i'll have wifey come up here for a nooner.

    ReplyDelete
  83. jodphotoJanuary 20, 2015 at 1:27 PM

    HEY SNOB.

    CONGRATULATIONS ON THE NEW BABY. I'M RELIEVED TO HEAR YOUR SWIMMERS WEREN'T AFFECTED BY ALL THAT RIDING.

    THEY ARE SAYING WOO HOO TOO.

    ReplyDelete
  84. JLRBJanuary 20, 2015 at 1:27 PM

    Does this mean you have to return the Dick Tracy watch?

    ReplyDelete
  85. ALL CAPSJanuary 20, 2015 at 1:28 PM

    all caps

    ReplyDelete
  86. Marcel Da ChumpJanuary 20, 2015 at 1:32 PM

    Congratulations!

    ReplyDelete
  87. AnonymousJanuary 20, 2015 at 1:32 PM

    WoHoo!

    ReplyDelete
  88. AnonymousJanuary 20, 2015 at 1:41 PM

    Comment Deleted, 1:17.
    COD

    ReplyDelete
  89. AnonymousJanuary 20, 2015 at 1:43 PM

    Nice work, where do you find the time?

    ReplyDelete
  90. AnonymousJanuary 20, 2015 at 1:47 PM

    You selfish son of a bitch. Don't you realize that we live on a dying planet with dwindling resources? oh, and congratulations.

    ReplyDelete
  91. AnonymousJanuary 20, 2015 at 1:49 PM

    Wonderful news!! Congratulations!! You must feel very Special(ized)!!

    ReplyDelete
  92. McFlyJanuary 20, 2015 at 1:51 PM

    This is surreal, arsed the podium and made two more comments before I woke up.

    ReplyDelete
  93. RayGJanuary 20, 2015 at 1:52 PM

    Langster.

    Then you can report first hand about getting sued by Specialized.

    ReplyDelete
  94. AnonymousJanuary 20, 2015 at 1:53 PM

    Congratulations to the Snobs! Here in America's hat (or more specifically, Canada's left-facing codpiece), Dadternity leave is 12 months. Don't get any ideas, though, or I will start ignoring the ads over there ->
    All the best to the 20 of you.

    ReplyDelete
  95. 97January 20, 2015 at 2:04 PM

    97

    ReplyDelete
  96. 98January 20, 2015 at 2:04 PM

    98

    ReplyDelete
  97. 99January 20, 2015 at 2:04 PM

    99

    ReplyDelete
  98. dopJanuary 20, 2015 at 2:05 PM

    century

    ReplyDelete
  99. AnonymousJanuary 20, 2015 at 2:05 PM

    Anon 1:11 best me to it... Molotov

    ReplyDelete
  100. AnonymousJanuary 20, 2015 at 2:06 PM

    congrats

    ReplyDelete
  101. AnonymousJanuary 20, 2015 at 2:06 PM

    Also, McFly@10:20. "You SHOULD NOT put babies in the dryer. "
    Why not? Will they shrink?

    ReplyDelete
  102. AnonymousJanuary 20, 2015 at 2:08 PM

    oops, at 2:05. I meant "beat me..."

    ReplyDelete
  103. AnonymousJanuary 20, 2015 at 2:12 PM

    vsk said ...

    Wow, post century already!

    vsk

    ReplyDelete
  104. Dave - EverywhereJanuary 20, 2015 at 2:28 PM

    Congrats to the Snob family!! Personally, I think "Randoneur" would be an awesome name - vaguely foreign with a touch of hipster savoir faire (as pronounced by the Cowardly Lion in the Wizard of Oz).

    ReplyDelete
  105. JLRBJanuary 20, 2015 at 2:31 PM

    Just remember Women also do most of the child care and household shopping

    ReplyDelete
  106. dbJanuary 20, 2015 at 2:37 PM

    Congrats, Snob. Peace and good health to all involved.

    ReplyDelete
  107. JLRBJanuary 20, 2015 at 2:38 PM

    AND don't forget to go the diaper-free route

    ReplyDelete
  108. McFlyJanuary 20, 2015 at 2:41 PM

    Na they will panic and shit all over yo towels.

    ReplyDelete
  109. CommieCanuckJanuary 20, 2015 at 2:52 PM

    Hey awesome..but no mention of boy or girl, brother or sister for L'il Eddy?
    You really should consider naming the baby after me, or the very least, David Byrne.
    On our second round, we had twins, ...just sayin', didn't want to out-Strava you on this, but just sayin', twins. This makes it 3:2 in overtime.
    Tip:These will keep yer yabbies super-fertile.

    ReplyDelete
  110. JLRBJanuary 20, 2015 at 2:55 PM

    Least but never last, when will you start working on the status child?

    ReplyDelete
  111. Cyklist StockholmJanuary 20, 2015 at 3:15 PM

    Maternity leave is great, having someone watching over the kid while daddy is riding!

    ReplyDelete
  112. JedJanuary 20, 2015 at 3:43 PM

    That's wonderful news. Thanks for sharing your joy with us.

    ReplyDelete
  113. P. BatemanJanuary 20, 2015 at 3:54 PM

    since no one else has mentioned it.... i don't find Dumbo to be off putting or racist at all.

    no more so than any given kevin hart movie.

    and those crows are way funnier. and taller. SNAP. in yo' face kevin hart.

    ReplyDelete
  114. AnonymousJanuary 20, 2015 at 3:56 PM

    Biopace Rock Machine, what a beautiful name!

    ReplyDelete
  115. P. BatemanJanuary 20, 2015 at 4:00 PM

    also, might i suggest Paul Allen for your latest 2015 edition of human offspring?

    ReplyDelete
  116. Old-timerJanuary 20, 2015 at 4:30 PM

    Doh! I’m glad you didn’t call the little one “Old-timer”. I know you were probably tempted. And I’d have been flattered, of course! And, the moniker is not gender-specific. But still, it just wouldn’t be right, what with the child being so young and all. // Snobby, you’re a lucky guy!!! Abundant blessings on you and yours!!!

    ReplyDelete
  117. JLRBJanuary 20, 2015 at 4:46 PM

    I say we pitch in and buy one of these for the new edition

    ReplyDelete
  118. UnknownJanuary 20, 2015 at 4:52 PM

    De-lurking to say "congrats"!

    ReplyDelete
  119. AnonymousJanuary 20, 2015 at 5:16 PM

    Congrats, Snobbie. Your children will do to you what thousands of ottermobile drivers couldn't...knock you off your bike and make you fat like the rest of us.

    ReplyDelete
  120. Pathetic Old CyclistJanuary 20, 2015 at 5:19 PM

    I say we all head over to Snobbie's house and check out the little cynic.

    ReplyDelete
  121. SpokeyJanuary 20, 2015 at 5:52 PM

    JLRB

    you gots to be kiddin

    I don't little Vito in anything less than an F350.

    ReplyDelete
  122. AnonymousJanuary 20, 2015 at 6:41 PM

    Good luck with the sleep deprivation. Not that you were any more than semi-coherent before.

    ReplyDelete
  123. 3GJanuary 20, 2015 at 8:20 PM

    Mazzzzzzzzel ToV!

    ReplyDelete
  124. Mike B.January 20, 2015 at 8:54 PM

    Congratulations to you and mom.

    ReplyDelete
  125. wishiwasmerckxJanuary 20, 2015 at 10:07 PM

    Although I am not sure that anyone actually keeps such statistics, I am pretty sure that today set a record for speediest reach of the 100 comment mark.

    ReplyDelete
  126. Holy RollerJanuary 20, 2015 at 10:50 PM

    Blessed be! Praise the Lord! If the child be a male, then I hope you consider circumcision. If the child be a female, then I hope not so much so.

    ReplyDelete
  127. Dick ClippedJanuary 20, 2015 at 10:56 PM

    Ouch!

    ReplyDelete
  128. dopJanuary 20, 2015 at 11:19 PM

    you could call him, bambi

    ReplyDelete
  129. Freddy MurcksJanuary 21, 2015 at 12:10 AM

    Like Feodor Vassilyev said, 1+1 does not equal 2 when counting children. My condolences, WCRM.

    ReplyDelete
  130. w00hooJanuary 21, 2015 at 5:06 AM

    Apparently there is an Indian proverb when it comes to children, 1 is 1, 2 is 11.

    We stopped at 1, but every one of my uncles and aunts said if they'd had the second one first, they'd never have had 2.

    ReplyDelete
  131. AnonymousJanuary 21, 2015 at 7:53 AM

    Congratulations! After two children, My wife and I decided that was enough. I became a fixie myself soon after.

    ReplyDelete
  132. McFlyJanuary 21, 2015 at 8:03 AM

    Best $1700 I ever spent. I never went back for the follow up visit to Confirm Blank Rounds status. I just field tested it for 2 or 3 months of wet work.

    ReplyDelete
  133. AnonymousJanuary 21, 2015 at 8:13 AM

    scranutulation !

    ReplyDelete
  134. herzogoneJanuary 21, 2015 at 9:15 AM

    Congrats!

    ReplyDelete
  135. Paul AnkaJanuary 21, 2015 at 9:58 AM



    Having my baby
    What a lovely way of sayin' how much you love me?
    Having my baby
    What a lovely way of sayin' what you're thinkin' of me?

    I can see it
    Face is glowin'
    I can see in your eyes
    I'm happy you know it

    That you're having my baby
    You're the woman I love and I love what it's doin' to ya
    Having my baby
    You're a woman in love and I love what's goin' through ya

    The need inside you
    I see it showin'
    Whoa, the seed inside ya, baby, do you feel it growin'?
    Are you happy you know it?

    That you're having my baby
    I'm a woman in love and I love what it's doin' to me
    Having my baby
    I'm a woman in love and I love what's goin' through me

    Didn't have to keep it
    Wouldn't put you through it
    You could have swept it from you life
    But you wouldn't do it, no, you wouldn't do it

    And you're having my baby
    I'm a woman in love and I love what it's doin' to me
    Having my baby
    I'm a woman in love and I love what's goin' through me

    Having my baby
    (Having my baby)
    What a lovely way of sayin' how much you love me?
    Having my baby
    (Having my baby)
    I'm a woman in love and I love what's goin' through me


    ReplyDelete
  136. AnonymousJanuary 21, 2015 at 10:35 AM

    Anonymous at 1:47 yesterday for co-COD.

    ReplyDelete
  137. JLRBJanuary 21, 2015 at 11:13 AM

    Spokey punked my idea of buying Snob a motorized kiddie SVU, so may I suggest everyone celebrate by buying a hat or jersey or book

    I went with the urban wool murdered out version.

    ReplyDelete
  138. See McSeeJanuary 21, 2015 at 12:18 PM

    “The truth about the world, he said, is that anything is possible. Had you not seen it all from birth and thereby bled it of its strangeness it would appear to you for what it is, a hat trick in a medicine show, a fevered dream, a trance bepopulate with chimeras having neither analogue nor precedent, an itinerant carnival, a migratory tentshow whose ultimate destination after many a pitch in many a mudded field is unspeakable and calamitous beyond reckoning.

    The universe is no narrow thing and the order within it is not constrained by any latitude in its conception to repeat what exists in one part in any other part. Even in this world more things exist without our knowledge than with it and the order in creation which you see is that which you have put there, like a string in a maze, so that you shall not lose your way. For existence has its own order and that no man's mind can compass, that mind itself being but a fact among others.”

    ReplyDelete
  139. Olle NilssonJanuary 21, 2015 at 12:37 PM

    Dude, you should totally get the Canyonero.

    I mean, one kid = minivan, two's a Canyonero.

    Congrats or something. The blog will become more erratic, you'll tell us to stop our whining and get a life followed by a link to today's post or the blogger's union contract. Oh happy days.

    ReplyDelete
  140. Robbie the RobotJanuary 21, 2015 at 12:42 PM

    1 + 1 = 10. Every robot knows that.

    17 + 1 = 10010 but who's counting?

    ReplyDelete
  141. Suck it Right WingersJanuary 21, 2015 at 12:47 PM

    I know because I won both of them

    ReplyDelete
  142. AnonymousJanuary 21, 2015 at 12:51 PM

    Having a child does not deserve congratulations, but raising one with love and guidance does and I wish you the best in that regard.

    I will miss your daily dose, Rockcrusher. But as I grow older I'm becoming accustomed to being inconvenienced by other people's children.

    ReplyDelete
  143. AnonymousJanuary 21, 2015 at 12:59 PM

    Congrats for the little snob!

    ReplyDelete
  144. Twob RakeJanuary 21, 2015 at 1:00 PM

    An idea from Sheldon. (peace be upon him)

    http://www.sheldonbrown.com/carrababy.html#disclaimer

    ReplyDelete
  145. The Candid CyclistJanuary 21, 2015 at 1:28 PM

    But...Just Friday you said you would be back on Tuesday with "Regular Updates". Did this parenting condition sneak up on you? I want my money back...Thanks, for the full refund of $0.00.

    OK, congrats.

    ReplyDelete
  146. AnonymousJanuary 21, 2015 at 1:32 PM

    Molotov!

    ReplyDelete
  147. AnonymousJanuary 21, 2015 at 1:51 PM

    chicken skin is nasty stuff

    ReplyDelete
  148. JLRBJanuary 21, 2015 at 1:52 PM

    $1.50 woo hoo hoo

    ReplyDelete
  149. AnonymousJanuary 21, 2015 at 2:12 PM

    does beikcycling deflate your balls?

    ReplyDelete
  150. AnonymousJanuary 21, 2015 at 2:49 PM

    SnobDad:
    Please post address where we can send gifts.
    Does Boy have a Titanium Litespeed tricycle yet? A Rapha onesie?
    Let us know what you need. We're on it.

    ReplyDelete
  151. McFlyJanuary 21, 2015 at 3:14 PM

    55* Americanus degrees and I do believe we are LBL bound for some after work fun ending with the torching off of the Nightrider 750 Luminumiumens Beacon of Seeing Things.

    It's so nice I may just run the Bib Shorts Guy setup.

    ReplyDelete
  152. Field Marshal Douche'baggJanuary 21, 2015 at 4:27 PM

    New Ukrainian manufactured bike ...

    http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=3ac_1421853428

    ReplyDelete
  153. AlbertoJanuary 21, 2015 at 4:32 PM

    Congrats on the new pup.

    Please do not deprive the unwashed ceramic wax lube stained slack jawed helmented crabon fibered masses of your 'snobules' of wisdom.

    ReplyDelete
  154. Huh!January 21, 2015 at 4:41 PM

    Is it true that the child came into this world with several in utero tatts, a flannel shirt and that he/she looks just like the Porthole who stars in Portlandia?

    ReplyDelete
  155. dopJanuary 21, 2015 at 5:26 PM

    Please don't talk about Bib Shorts Guy....here in the Hudson Valley (America's River) it's 30 degrees & about to snow....FDWT (first day without tights) is a long way off

    ReplyDelete
  156. SpokeyJanuary 21, 2015 at 5:52 PM

    JLRB @ 11:13 A

    Spokey punked my idea of buying Snob a motorized kiddie SVU


    Not at all! Just think you shouldn't settle for a wuss-mobile. At the least, a new snobbette should get an F650

    ReplyDelete
  157. JLRBJanuary 21, 2015 at 6:37 PM

    $70k for a pick 'um up truck?!? I am soooo out of touch.

    ReplyDelete
  158. JLRBJanuary 21, 2015 at 6:37 PM

    time to go beik around in the snooooow

    ReplyDelete
  159. crankJanuary 21, 2015 at 7:46 PM

    congrats!

    ReplyDelete
  160. Bennet Random SurfJanuary 21, 2015 at 8:52 PM

    Is it true that Baby Snob has already published his first book?

    "Cycling Maintenance & the Zen of the prenatal doggie paddle while suspended in utero by the warm softly caressing Saline Sea"

    ReplyDelete
  161. AnonymousJanuary 22, 2015 at 7:05 AM

    Biekcycling has gives ball cancer.

    ReplyDelete
  162. AnonymousJanuary 22, 2015 at 10:32 AM

    May I suggest Allincat Bret if you haven't picked a baby name yet. Thus paying homage to the master of onstage scat, the retrofred from planet tridork, and daddy of course

    ReplyDelete
  163. AnonymousJanuary 22, 2015 at 12:01 PM

    But Yehuda Mars Unit is fine too if it's a girl.

    ReplyDelete
  164. David PearceJanuary 22, 2015 at 1:08 PM

    Congratulations, Wildcat!

    I see your Rock and Roll Machine must be working well. No firing blanks there!

    I wish Lil' Wildcat a wonderful, wonderful life, free of Islamist Jihadism, salmoning bicyclists, bicycle thieves and those criminals who leave bicycles out in the weather to rust and rot.

    I'm sure you will be spending your free time, should there be any, how to spread on just the right amount of Snarky Flavor icing on all the random subject cupcakes that magically appear in our lives.

    Pearce

    ReplyDelete
  165. sir scranusJanuary 22, 2015 at 1:16 PM

    sir scranus

    ReplyDelete
  166. McFlyJanuary 22, 2015 at 1:17 PM

    don't be so gullible

    ReplyDelete
  167. UnknownJanuary 22, 2015 at 1:40 PM

    Wasn't Arlo Thomas married to Donahue?

    ReplyDelete
  168. AnonymousJanuary 22, 2015 at 1:53 PM

    That Girl! This Scranus! Get the fuck on it. Too soon?

    ReplyDelete
  169. Shelly SilverJanuary 22, 2015 at 2:06 PM

    Soon to have lots of time on my hands; so I think I'll take up cycling, just don't leave your bike unlocked once I do.

    ReplyDelete
  170. dopJanuary 22, 2015 at 11:31 PM

    Is there such a thing as shraderdigitation?

    ReplyDelete
  171. AnonymousJanuary 23, 2015 at 12:34 AM

    Congratulations! The Mrs is agitating for a second now that our first is nearing 3. Looking forward to reading how you are coping with starting the whole process over.

    ReplyDelete
  172. AnonymousJanuary 23, 2015 at 3:46 AM

    Only one thing is more annoying than people talking about their babies and small children. ....

    Triathletes talking about triathlon training and racing.

    Not surprisingly people who get tattoos with of their children's names remind me of triathletes who get tri-tatts.

    Triathletes don't deserve to be called athletes. What else can we call them though?

    Triwannabeathletes?

    ReplyDelete
  173. Pathetic Old CyclistJanuary 23, 2015 at 6:51 AM

    Anon 12 34
    I know, my little one is on, y 24 1/2. The old lady still wants one.

    The feeling never goes away for them. It can'tbe supressed with the aquisition of a good sturdy road machine.

    ReplyDelete
  174. JLRBJanuary 23, 2015 at 8:22 AM

    Keep the scranus side down

    ReplyDelete
  175. McFlyJanuary 23, 2015 at 10:13 AM

    I just dropped enough cheddar on my auxillary child's travel soccer career to buy a nice 26" Santa Cruz Superlite frame. That's on the EBay. With not long left.

    Which is now irrelevant.

    ReplyDelete
  176. dopJanuary 23, 2015 at 11:13 AM

    Tridork works for me. (I suggested Trifred, but it never took hold). Training? I try to work out 4x weekly with a swim, bike & run each week. (not many bike outings if it's icy) The 30 mile each-way commute that I do weekly in spring & summer are training runs in disguise. (past the corner of seaman & Cummings) I clear my work schedule for two weeks before a race, which is really a party. I can usually con some family members into forming a relay team & they're on the course, too. Give me a number on my shulder, a goody bag & a neon swim-cap & I'll gladly dodgev turds in the Hudson (America's River)

    ReplyDelete
  177. Yeah Cleveland!January 23, 2015 at 12:31 PM

    Just wasting time and space...
    Today's commute near miss involved an inner ring suburb police car turning into my path whilst turning right on red, even though it is clearly posted as illegal to do so. I half expected it so I was fully prepared to brake even though I had the light.

    ReplyDelete
  178. Fred CrabonJanuary 23, 2015 at 3:08 PM

    TriDouche'

    ReplyDelete
  179. Thor HydrationthalJanuary 23, 2015 at 3:11 PM

    Almost 2015 Baby Seal Clubathon is almost here. Can hardly wait to hear that cranial thump when I make contact ...

    https://www.google.com/search?q=club+baby+seals&biw=1053&bih=442&tbm=isch&imgil=vQgQNNXG2DihwM%253A%253BbIu6aWdybTTdpM%253Bhttp%25253A%25252F%25252Fwww.sharenator.com%25252FSharenator_Fantasy_Football_1%25252F101810%25252Fclub_baby_seals-53193.html&source=iu&pf=m&fir=vQgQNNXG2DihwM%253A%252CbIu6aWdybTTdpM%252C_&usg=__a3d9coHEWNBDdPHBRAPleLRw3SU%3D&ved=0CCkQyjc&ei=dKrCVJqCF8K8ggS3tISoCg#imgdii=_&imgrc=vQgQNNXG2DihwM%253A%3BbIu6aWdybTTdpM%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Ffiles.sharenator.com%252Fclub_baby_seals-s346x450-53193.jpg%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.sharenator.com%252FSharenator_Fantasy_Football_1%252F101810%252Fclub_baby_seals-53193.html%3B346%3B450

    ReplyDelete
  180. AnonymousJanuary 23, 2015 at 5:54 PM

    Clubbing Baby Seals. Sounds like a can't miss death metal band.

    ReplyDelete
  181. B. J. SquidwardJanuary 23, 2015 at 8:36 PM

    $$$$I EARNED $900 AN HOUR*$$$$

    Performing fellatio on drunken Sailors during Fleet Week.

    For further details meet me at the intersection of Seaman and Cummings 9AM this Saturday. And remember 'Loose Lips Sink Ships.'

    I AM NOT A ROBOT

    ReplyDelete
  182. AnonymousJanuary 24, 2015 at 2:41 AM

    TriDork is ok.

    I.e. Dork x 3

    I would like to see our bike snob lead the way in the reconciliation between Greg and Lance. This bitterness is destroying cycling. But not destroying careers.

    ReplyDelete
  183. AnonymousJanuary 24, 2015 at 12:42 PM

    Greg never took or did drugs! He has admitted to tasting 'the medicine' though.

    ReplyDelete
  184. wishiwasmerckxJanuary 24, 2015 at 1:53 PM

    Lemond admitted to using bee pollen when he was racing. Not sure if it was on the banned substances list, but I do know that the bees were pretty upset about it.

    ReplyDelete
  185. BuzzJanuary 24, 2015 at 5:54 PM

    I tried the bee pollen thing but I got hives.

    ReplyDelete
  186. AnonymousJanuary 24, 2015 at 8:01 PM

    Is it true that BSNYC's pup came out speaking French and is a David Byrne dead ringer??? Keeps repeating Qu'est-ce que c'est ...

    ReplyDelete
  187. caPt scrAnusJanuary 24, 2015 at 9:35 PM

    scranus

    ReplyDelete
  188. McFlyJanuary 25, 2015 at 12:16 AM

    Child #2 keeps crop dusting the living room with UTF's......Upset Tummy Farts. Its so bad we started covering our drinks.

    ReplyDelete
  189. JLRBJanuary 25, 2015 at 3:31 PM

    Is he really coming back tomorrow? it's just like Christmas Eve - except the sleigh is a stroller, etc.

    ReplyDelete
  190. JLRBJanuary 25, 2015 at 3:31 PM

    Shaddup Scranuli

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  191. JLRBJanuary 25, 2015 at 3:31 PM

    Shaddup Scranuli
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  192. JLRBJanuary 25, 2015 at 3:32 PM

    Shaddup Scranuli
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  193. JLRBJanuary 25, 2015 at 3:32 PM

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  194. JLRBJanuary 25, 2015 at 3:33 PM

    Shaddup Scranuli
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  195. JLRBJanuary 25, 2015 at 3:33 PM

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  196. JLRBJanuary 25, 2015 at 3:34 PM

    Shaddup Scranuli
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    ReplyDelete
  197. JLRBJanuary 25, 2015 at 3:34 PM

    Shaddup Scranuli
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    ReplyDelete
  198. Yeah Cleveland!January 25, 2015 at 3:57 PM

    A ha. Top of the podium for the next century.

    Why am here?

    ReplyDelete
  199. babble onJanuary 25, 2015 at 5:21 PM

    XX! Did it work? All quiet in Scranusville?

    And Holy Carp, Batman! I hear New York will be muffled and quiet under a massive dump of snow this time tomorrow... ride safely out there, peeps, or better yet, maybe you can cocoon at home, snug and warm...

    You know how much we miss you, right snobberdooderdoo? Even so, take er easy, and enjoy the magic, mmmkay?Sending peace and love to the whole Wildcat clan. xo xo

    ReplyDelete
  200. AnonymousJanuary 25, 2015 at 10:06 PM

    Nipples.

    ReplyDelete