This Just In: I'm Teaking a Brake! (And Friday Fun Quiz, on Thursday!)

Firstly, after today's post I won't be adding what in the industry we call "content" to this blog until Wednesday, April 23rd, at which point I will resume regular updates.  Don't like it?  Eat a Brompton.

(Bromptons are organic, unlike Dahons and other folders which are loaded with hormones.)

Secondly, five or ten or twenty years ago or whenever it was that I started this blog, I was nothing more than a cranky mid-category back-of-the-pack amateur bike racer with no friends and a hurty vagina complaining about fixies on the Internet.  Since then virtually nothing has changed, apart from the fact that I've fallen off the back of the pack altogether, my vagina hurts a little more, and instead of fixies I'm complaining about gravel bikes.

Anyway, in the very early days of this blog, one of the first people in the actual bicycle industry (if not the first) to send me an encouraging email was this guy, who was at Swobo at the time:

Movers and Makers Vol. 2 Stevil Kinevil from Swobo on Vimeo.

Despite being in a better position than maybe anybody in the world of cycling to call me out and write me off as a know-nothing blowhard Internet douchebag, instead he befriended me, or at least he humored me, and we struck up a correspondence.  In fact, while I was still closely guarding my anonymity, he was the very first person on the Internet to reveal my face, which he did on his (old) blog with my full cooperation in the form of this photo that was taken in an undisclosed location sometime during the 1980s, as if you couldn't tell from my wardrobe:

Danzig shirt?  Check.  Swatch?  Check.  Splatter-bleached pants?  Check.  Half-Jew Fro?  You bet your tuchus.  By the way, that's the closest I've ever come to a piece of functioning artillery, and it's a good thing I was wearing those busy pants because you can't tell that I just wet myself.

If I seem like I'm making all of this about me, it's only because: 1) I'm completely obsessed with myself and on some level probably jealous of the video; and 2) Stevil is a humble person who is modest to a fault and is probably still blushing over the fact that there's now an Internet documentary about him, so I'm redirecting the attention to someone who knows how to handle adulation and praise, namely me.  (Although let's be honest, he did let these people into his house, so how modest could he be?)  And perhaps most importantly, Stevil is an exception in a world of bike bloggers who do little more than show off their latest custom bike builds, and it's very important to my self-esteem that people know that I have cool friends.

So go to his site, buy his stuff, and support the people who dedicate their lives to your amusement.

And buy some of the stuff over in the right hand margin of this blog while you're at it, you cheapskates.

Cheapskates.

(Use discount code "NOBR AKES" and get nothing off on your purchase whatsoever.)

And now, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz.  As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer.  If you're right then eat a Brompton, and if you're wrong you'll see the Traffic Droid.

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and see you on Wednesday, April 23rd.


--Wildcat Rock Machine

(Every Fred's spirit animal.)

1) The latest thing for Freds to obsess over is:

--Saddle rail integrity
--Tubeless sealant molecular half-life
--Electronic shifting/ANT microwave data interference
--When to replace their quick release skewers

2) What's he doing?

--Hacking away at a wet log for some reason
--Straining to uproot a small weed
--Straining to drop a log
--Putting, because all-terrain golfing is the new cyclocross

4) One bicycle can be "noticeably faster at any speed" than another, in the same way that:

--A pound of lead can be heavier than a pound of feathers
--1,000 grams is heavier than one kilogram
--32°F is colder than 0°C
--All of the above

5) What are these?

--High-performance motorcycle pistons
--The new Chris King tunable espresso tampers
--Rear shocks for the new Moots full-suspension gravel bike
--Remedial pedals for people who suck at clipless

6) The new "Wide Stance" bottom bracket adapter kit will increase your "Q-factor" by up to three meters, allowing you to convert any standard road bicycle to a bakfiets.

--True
--False

7) Which award did this photo win?

--"Best Alleycat Hurl," Chrome Industries Facebook photo contest
--"Cyclists Behaving Badly," San Francisco Chronicle Twitter photo contest
--Best Sports Photography (newspaper circulation 1-100,000, regional magazine, non-daily publication or online independent)
--The Pu(ke)litzer  

(Called it!)

8) A Paris-Roubaix rider may indeed have fallen on his drugs.

--True
--False

***Special Cat 3s and 4s Doing What They Do Best-Themed Bonus Video***